Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Devlin's Domain - Nekromantik

It's hard to believe it's taken this long for me to get around to smashing this uncomfortable, taboo topic, but here we are finally. There's a lot about human sexuality that we don't fully understand. In this case it's because there's not a lot of research on it, because it's just downright too weird for most people to dwell on. It's a seemingly uncommon affliction, yet high profile people throughout history like Herod the Great and Charlemagne are allegedly guilty of these debauched acts. In case you haven't figured it out by now kids, I'm talking about necrophilia.

Tommy Wiseau once said, "You know what they say, 'true love is blind'".  Well, Tommy Wiseau is a maniac so we'll just ignore that. Someone also said, "You can't choose who you love". That may or may not be true, but regardless you probably shouldn't screw everything you care about. My personal quote will be, "You should use some common sense when it comes to what you rub your genitals on".

We as a culture have come to a point where we are more accepting of some sexual behaviors that were once punished or at least frowned upon years ago. I am of the opinion that two (or more if that's your thing) consenting adults should be able to engage in acts of pleasure in any way they see fit as long as it's not hurting anyone else. However there are some that think that condoning some acts will eventually lead to accepting even worse sexual behavior such as incest, bestiality, or pedophilia. Nobody ever really mentions necrophilia though. It's one of those things that nobody really wants to talk about or admit exists.

I remember being in middle school and the other boys would ask me shit like, "If Pamela Anderson died right here and she was still fresh and warm, would ya?". It didn't strike me as odd at the time because, like them, I was just a horny kid and the 'fresh and warm' part gave me the impression that there was a remnant of life left. The obvious answer is 'no', but I still had to think about it, which is pretty fucked up. Point is that these kinds of hypothetical questions have been around forever and even among kids. It usually comes up as a way to question if you are willing to embrace your passion for a person even if it is in the most immoral and reprehensible way. So even when necrophilia is brought up in a social situation, it's never really about necrophilia. I'd say it's more so about rape.

German director, Jorg Buttgereit shows us what real necrophilia is and it's not pretty, but it also is in a way. Necrophilia isn't about getting your jollies off with the unblemished naked body of a motionless Pamela Anderson. Necrophilia is about cold, stiff, death. Necrophilia is sexual arousal brought on by the pungent odors of an evacuated bowel and organs turning into a gelatinous mush. And now you know why nobody talks about this shit. Jorg isn't afraid to talk about it though and he tells a story about necrophilia and it's a love story...


A written warning starts the film off to make the audience aware that what they're about to see isn't what they're used to seeing and may make some uncomfortable. Then the first shot is of a lady squat peeing on the side of the road with close ups of the grass being watered before she jumps back in the car with her boyfriend. Of course this further accentuates the fact that this isn't going to be what you're used to. The music didn't stick with me the first time, but upon viewing again, I find the opening credits and music to be pretty memorable. The film is shot with a cheap grindhouse look too which makes it feel even dirtier.

We are introduced to our male lead, Robert, as he is on the street sweeper crew that's sent out to clean up a car wreck and remove two bodies. The bodies are those of the road pisser and her boyfriend from the opening scene. Robert is an odd dude who sneaks body parts home and keeps them in specimen jars. His wife, Betty, is aware of his strange interest and seems to have the same as we see here take a blood bath. This definitely isn't an ordinary couple.

A warning to animal lovers, there is a random sequence where a rabbit is bashed in the head and it's throat is cut. Then it is bled out and hung up to be skinned. This is spliced in with shots of Robert digging the guts out of a body while at work. All this is in his head as he spaces out while watching a medical television program about necrophilia. There's quite a few stylistic and metaphorical shots throughout the movie. Not all of them are pulled off as well as others though.

Robert later gets called out on a job and the crew recovers a body that's been floating in river for a while. They pull out a mostly decomposed corpse and Robert is enlisted to stay late to get rid of it. Now that he's alone he sees an opportunity to take a full sized specimen home. He immediately shows his wife who instantly starts caressing the slimey flesh and rubbing the one eyeball that's left. They look so in love as they both lie next to the body and gaze at each other.

The corpse wouldn't have a functional penis anyway, but in this case it basically has no penis at all. So being the handy guy that he is, Robert saws a pipe down to a phallic size and Betty attaches it to the groin area. A romantic and painful piano ballad chimes in as she fixes a condom over the pipe and prepares to mount. Betty rides the rotting cadaver, moist with decay, until Robert joins in. I gagged a little as they licked it's face and Robert even sucked out its eyeball and spit it back in. This is truly one of the most disturbing sex scenes ever filmed. Jorg uses a lot of motion blur in this scene to add to the artsy feel I suppose.

 Betty starts spending a lot of time with corpse while Robert is at work. Cuddling naked as she reads romance novels to it. Then she gets worked up and goes for some solo stimulation with an assist from the cadaver's face. We're served another blurry coitus scene, which seems to be what the movie is all about. It's like he just wanted to film necrophilia sex scenes and had to build a story around that. Disgusting as it is, he manages to use the music and artsy editing to make the repulsive seem beautiful.

Robert gets fired from his job for 'not fitting in' and leaving the stench of death on his hazmat suits. He has to make the walk of shame into his house to tell his wife he lost his job. She berates him and threatens to leave him if she finds a rich guy. She's mainly concerned about where she is going to get another corpse, because the one they have won't last much longer. they already have drip plates set up to catch the gooey rot coming off of it.

Robert comes home one day to a note from Betty saying she doesn't want to waste the best days of her life with him. She has taken the corpse with her to an undisclosed location. Robert had brought home a cat, presumably for her, but since she's gone he feeds the cat a formaldehyde soaked organ and then puts it in a garbage bag to beat it to death against the wall in a fit of rage. Then he takes a bath with the cat guts and blood dripping into the tub from above.

After sulking on his own for a while, Robert chases some pills down with a bottle of liquor. He then falls in bed and drifts into some kind of death obsessed, hallucinatory, mindscape. He crawls out of a garbage bag with a partially decomposed face and is approached by a lady who hands him some meat, which he dances around with. I suppose this is where he comes to some profound epiphany.

Robert decides to go prostitute shopping and takes a girl out to the graveyard of course. She props up on a tombstone and tells him to come on, but he has trouble getting aroused. She gives him shit for it and laughs at him so he retaliates by choking her to death. Now he can get aroused and proceeds to have sex with her dead body on the cemetery lawn. Bad news is he gets caught by the caretaker the next morning and has to whack his head off with a shovel.

Robert makes it back home, still depressed and takes a knife from one of his shelves.. He goes to the bed and pulls his erect, laughable, prosthetic penis out and begins stabbing himself in the stomach. as he stabs himself he ejaculates semen at first and then it gradually turns to blood. It's an inhuman amount of ejaculate. It's like Ultimate Warrior levels of ejaculate. The final shot is his grave and all of a sudden a woman's shoe stomps a shovel into the ground. Seems as though his love is ready to make up now that he's dead.

This movie is gritty, dirty, cheap, artsy, and disgusting. It's not the most entertaining thing to sit through though. If you take away the shock and nastiness you don't really have much else. It does make me think about the morality of necrophilia though. While watching the film, the corpse fucking is pretty gross, but it's not necessarily hurting anyone. It's basically an inanimate object, and plenty of people have sex with those. It's like a gooey, flesh, sex doll. The only people who would possibly be affected would be the friends and relatives of the deceased and only if they knew about it.

You could say it's the principle that the person had a family or whatever, but most people are religious and believe the body is merely a vessel for the soul and is just useless carcass after death. Sort of like a cocoon being left behind as the butterfly flies away. So they had sex with a cocoon sorta kinda, if you go by religious logic. It is funny how religions treat the dead though. They treat the corpses as if there's a person still in there and invest thousands of dollars and acres of land to provide a home for them. Then there's necropheliac dating logic which suggest that if you just dropped a few thousand on a funeral you expect a little somethin somethin in return.

I'm going off the rails a bit here, but I find some humor in this depravity. It's really hard to rate this movie. I really respect it's fearless conquering of such taboo subject matter. On the other hand it seems like that's all it wanted to do and had little else to offer. It's not something you'd really rewatch a lot or throw in at Thanksgiving at grandma's house. It does have a charm to it though with a score that gets stuck in your head as well as some images you may not want stuck in your head. IMDB rates it 5.1, but I think I'm gonna go for 6.5 or maybe 6. Hell, I don't know. Depends on what day you ask me I guess.

I'm sorry I had to put you guys through that, but it was bound to happen eventually. Now that it's over you can look forward to just dead bodies without penises in them. Unless I decide to cover Nekromantik 2.....Fare thee well and come back to Devlin's Domain.

About Me: I have a couple of different aliases, but for this column I will use my middle name. I am Devlin and I currently reside in Atlanta, GA. 34 years of age and still feeling immortal. Former Rockstar, current Pro Wrestler and hell, I'm still a Rockstar at heart. I got my first taste of obscure cinema when I was about 8 years old. My Dad would take us to the video store every weekend to stock up on classic horror films to watch on his projector. They were mostly harmless, PG-rated horror films like the great Universal monster movies. Then one night he rented a movie for himself to watch after we had gone to bed. I was so intrigued by this film that I wasn't allowed to see. I begged and begged and he eventually caved. That night I was exposed to a film unlike anything I had seen before. Ever since that night I wanted to find more films that gave me that same sensation. I wanted to feel shock and disgust. I found my place in the Horror aisle. The film I watched was Faces of Death. Thanks

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