By Phantom Troublemaker
A
couple of years ago I sold all of my Mattel wrestling figures in one
shot. I decided that I had to call it quits because I’d rather
plunk down twenty bucks for a monster or a superhero or a robot than
for a guy in his underwear (He-Man and pals notwithstanding). I still
follow what comes out and if they release Steven/William Regal
figures then I am, by God, going to buy them. But I don’t want to
devote my money or valuable space to a whole wall of plastic
grapplers.
That
being said, if a company is clever enough and puts out toys that have
just the right gimmick – like the awesome WWE
Zombies
– I just can’t resist.
The
Hasbro WWF style is totally silly and seem to be loosely based on
Hulk
Hogan’s Rock N’ Wrestling,
despite the fact that the show had gone off the air four years before
the figures were released in 1990. They have limited articulation and
each one sports an action figure that may or may not be appropriate
to that character. But they’re charming as heck and in their own
way are fantastic likenesses of the grapplers of the era.
Side
Note: I’d be willing to bet a dollar that most casual observers
would say these are 80s toys. Any time I write about the Hasbro WWF
figures I have to double check to make sure. I feel so strongly that
they were a part of my childhood, but I was 14 in 1990. Which
actually explains why I didn’t ever buy any when they were on the
market. I’m sure I thought they were silly. Unlike the Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles I was collecting at the time.
I
don’t actively hunt the Hasbro figures, but when I see ones I don’t
have for a reasonable price – at Joelanta,
for example - I buy them.
Mattel
first showed us these throwback figures at last year’s Toy Fair (I
think). I knew I had to have them. Hopefully we’ll see more in a
few weeks.
Thanks
to our pal, Chris
DePetrillo,
I knew that these had hit and started hitting Walmarts a little
harder than usual looking for them. I lucked out and found all four
figures from the first shipment wave after coming up dry several days
in a row. I was actually looking for their Exclusive Star Wars Black
3.75” Scarif Stormtrooper at that point, expecting that the WWE
figures hadn’t made it to Georgia yet.
You’ll
notice that there are only three figures in this review, though there
are four in the first wave of shipments. That’s because the fourth
figure is Roman Reigns. I may be a slave to collecting, but I don’t
buy characters I’m not interested in (unless he had come with a
Braun Strowman build-a-figure part). You might also notice that there
are actually six figures on the back of the card. Undertaker and
Ultimate Warrior are apparently shipping later, which is an annoying
thing that seems to be happening lately. Initial carded Madballs
shipments from Just Play did not include Horn Head and Slobulus;
they’re on the way now.
Better
late than never, I suppose (thinking of you, Dani Moonstar).
FIRST
GLANCE
These
are goshdarn freaking delightful! LOOK AT THEM!
At
a glance these are perfect facsimiles of the Hasbro WWF figure style.
The proportions, amount of detail, and paint seem just right. But
it’s going to take closer inspection to see if they truly capture
the magic of Hasbro’s seminal Superstars.
PACKAGING
Mattel
used the same blister card style that the original figures had, which
was definitely a key to selling these. They missed a few details like
the signature and using a picture of the figure rather than an
illustration, but it all works and honestly looks a little classier
than the old figures. But also less fun. But they still get credit
for almost
nailing it. And I can’t care too much because I am absolutely
opening these up.
There are holes in the bottom of the blister to ventilate a strong New Toy Smell. It's still there when you open them.
The
back depicts the figure’s action feature and the other available
figures. Classic cardback.
LOOKS
Kevin
Owens and John Cena are dead-on (cartoony) likenesses, while Brock
Lesnar merely achieves “looks like Brock Lesnar, mostly”. The
difference maker will be if Mattel releases a Paul Heyman.
Cena
has his signature hat on. Normally I wouldn’t like a non-removable
hat, but these figures are a whole different reality from the norm.
They come from a magical dimension where Hogan wrestles in a shirt,
Sgt. Slaughter keeps his hat and sunglasses on, and Jake the Snake
finishes his opponents with a “Python Punch”.
Things
are different here. Cena can keep his hat.
Each
of the figures features a unique sculpt that accurately represents
the wrestler. Lesnar is noticeably huge and scary. Cena is jacked up.
Owens… has a shirt on. The style is unbelievably faithful to what
Hasbro did. The musculatures are cartoony and exaggerated and they
are all in different fighting stances, ready to rumble.
I’m
very impressed with the gear. Mattel didn’t cut any corners – the
boots, gloves, kneepads, whatever are all sculpted parts with just
the right level of detail. Even Cena’s trademark armband (the one
AJ Styles – and oh,
how I want an AJ in this line
– hilariously wore as a headband) is an actual sculpt and not just
a paint job.
Speaking
of paint, the paint apps on these guys are great. Not in the context
of modern toys, but as far as capturing the look of the Hasbro line
and
being precise and accurate.
Lesnar
has all of his tattoos and they look darn good. Mattel used a faded
grey rather than outright black so that they’d have the right look.
His face and hair are tight and clean. The only thing missing here is
the Jimmy Johns logo on his shorts (and Paul Heyman).
KO
didn’t get quite as thorough a tattoo treatment as Brock, as he’s
missing the “EVIL” tattoo on his left forearm. But the duct
tape-look “KO” on his shirt is solid and his hair and facial
features are applied perfectly. And he does have the bull on his
right shoulder.
Cena
is the most colorful of the three with his hideous orange and green
gear. All of the colors stay where they are supposed to. There’s no
bleeding and everything is correct. The lettering on his hat is
particularly nice. I kind of wish they’d gone with the blue jorts,
but Cena wasn’t wearing them at the time this figure was designed.
Side
Note: Speaking of Cena, he has got to be geeking out over these. I
don’t know that he’s a toy collector or anything, but we all know
when he grew up and how big of a fan he is. I bet he had ALL of the
Hasbro figures.
Finally
– and I hate to point it out – there’s the one botch that keeps
these figures from being absolutely perfect. The skin tone is wrong.
The Hasbro figures are much brighter – pinks and oranges almost.
These are all a much more natural skin tone. As such, they stick out
like sore thumbs from my Hasbro collection. I still think they’re
awesome, but I sure do wish Mattel had gotten that right. As
tremendous as every other aspect of these is, it makes it all the
worse that they blew such a big and easily noticeable element.
ACCESSORIES
No
accessories. Tables, ladders, or chairs might have been nice, but in
all honesty I don’t need anything. None of these guys has a
specific thing that they carry to the ring (except for Brock, who has
Paul Heyman), so I’m good. But if they do Kevin Owens’s best
friend Chris Jericho he had darn well better come with a scarf and
THE LIST.
FUN
While
these have minimal articulation, they are fun TOYS.
The heads are on ball joints and the shoulders and waists swivel. But
the big draw is the action features. Each figure has a spring-loaded
(or something) feature that very, very (in some cases barely)
approximates the character’s finishing move.
John
Cena has an abdominal gimmick that springs side to side and sort of
does an Attitude Adjuster when you place a figure in his hands over
his head. It works and it’s fun to do.
Kevin
Owens has an abdominal gimmick that springs the other way. Since the
figures don’t bend at the waist (and shouldn’t), it doesn’t
really look like the Pop-Up Powerbomb (a terrible finisher with an
equally terrible name), but it’s still fun and works okay. OK. KO.
Lesnar’s
move doesn’t really look like anything that Brock Lesnar does. His
arms are spring-loaded and he basically just throws other figures. It
looks nothing like the F-5 or a suplex of any kind. But it’s the
most fun feature of all three and works super well.
OVERALL
These
are fantastic. At $9.99 apiece I feel like they’re a steal. For
unique sculpts with action features and a HUGE nostalgia factor, I
would call these some of the best figures on the market right now for
the price. I will buy every single one they make of any wrestler I
even remotely like.
If
you’re a fan of wrestling or old-school toys, these are worth a
look. I wish the skin tones were different, but they’re still
awesome. And once I’ve got more of these in my collection, these
three won’t seem to stand out so much.
4
out of 5
Cena,
Lesnar, Owens, and Roman Reigns are in Walmarts everywhere now. From
what I understand Undertaker and Ultimate Warrior should be hitting
in time for the Royal
Rumble.
Be
sure to follow me on Facebook, Twitter,
and Instagram for
all of the latest toy news and live reports from the sotres that
carry them!
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