By Phantom Troublemaker
In the world of comic books, the X-Men are second only to Batman to me. I’ve loved Marvel’s (not so) Merry Mutants since 1988. If I had to list my top ten favorite comic book stories, I’d be willing to bet that the X-Men are in eight of them.
The early 90s X-Men
animated series is a landmark in comic book adaptations. For the time the
animation was fantastic. Heck, when compared to some of the stuff on Cartoon
Network today it’s still amazing. The
voice work was notable for encompassing the drama and storytelling needed for
what was an unusually mature series – thematically, not content-wise.
The stories, though, were what sold it to me. In many, if
not most, cases the show pulled directly from the comics of the time. I could
spend a whole post extoling the virtues of these animated adaptations, but
that’s not why I’m here today.
FOX released X-Men
in 2000. It wasn’t perfect – very few comic book adaptations are – but it was a
fair representation of what a lot of the comics were about. The cast ranged
from terrible (Storm) to breathtakingly awesome (Professor X, Magneto) to
surprisingly perfect (Wolverine) and everything in between. I didn’t walk out
pumping my fist, but I was satisfied.
Side Note: Some claim that this is the
movie that kicked off the modern era of comic book films. I say it’s Blade. We can debate it some other time.
Since then we’ve gotten sequels, solo movies, and
reboot-ish projects that have ranged from terrible (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) to breathtakingly awesome (First Class) to surprisingly perfect (Deadpool) and everything in between. I
could spend a whole post discussing the successes and failures of FOX’s X-Men
franchise, but that’s not why I’m here today, either.
I have seen a couple of mentions of FOX rebooting the
X-Men franchise. Most of these immediately contradict themselves by saying that
FOX is hoping to include Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, and James
McAvoy. That would not be a reboot.
If you want all of the details, The Hollywood Reporter
has a pretty
solid post about it.
Deadpool will obviously carry on, though I’m concerned by
all of the recent turmoil. It looks like the New Mutants are going to be a
thing, which could be incredible or could be fant4stic. And the plans for
X-Force seem to be in flux, so who knows what’s going to happen there? At this
point I don’t think the Gambit solo film is worth mentioning.
But these aren’t strictly the X-Men. They’re offshoots. I
think FOX can and should maintain a core team of mutants.
At this point I’m sure you’re all thinking, “Phantom –
what would you do if you were in
charge of the X-Men movie franchise…”
I’m glad you asked.
Bryan Singer would be out. His sins against the mutants
far outweigh his successes.
Lawrence, Fassbender, and McAvoy would be out. Nothing
against them – I love the former two and am fine with McAvoy – but I’m
proposing a (mostly) clean slate. While their characters have been solid for
three movies now, they’re also tainted by their ties to Singer’s work. And good
lord, we don’t need more Charlie/Eric
drama. They may be named after Xavier (vain much?), but the X-Men are so much
more.
Logan
would, indeed be the end for Hugh Jackman. He’s been wonderful as Wolverine,
but any overt traces of the last sixteen years of FOX X-Men (except for Deadpool) need to go. Plus, I’m pretty
sure he is for-real done this time anyway.
Being that the late 80s are my favorite era of the X-Men,
my movie reboot would feature many elements from Claremont’s Uncanny run at the time, though I wouldn’t
adhere slavishly to the details.
Step one is building the team. Here I have to take a look
at who has been used and how. This is a fresh start that won’t explain its
relation to existing movies. It will assume that the audience understands
mutants and is aware of the dream of Charles Xavier. Perhaps an opening crawl
or narration will lay out the setting:
“In
the not-to-distant future humanity has begun to evolve. Homo Sapiens Superior –
commonly known as ‘mutants’ – are appearing across the world, displaying
abilities beyond those of humans.
Mankind
has resisted the presence of these remarkable beings. Since their first public
appearance they have struggled to find acceptance and peace. Some hide amongst
us. Some seek to dominate us. Some chose to be something more and swore to
protect a world that hates and fears them.
Even
after that world turned on them…”
Our team is in hiding in an abandoned mining town in the
Australian Outback. Because that is where I have always wanted an X-Men movie to take place.
I would have to disregard how FOX used a lot of the mutants.
So many were in throwaway parts that I’m not going to bother worrying about
whether or not they showed up. I’m sure I’m not even aware of some that they
used as students or in background scenes. I am going to consider the bulk of
the cast they used off-limits. I want a fresh start, but I also wouldn’t
overtly state that this is an entirely different Earth or continuity. Let the
audience decide.
Colossus
(Piotr Rasputin) – Organic steel skin that makes him invulnerable and super
strong
Negasonic
Teenage Warhead (Ellie Phimister) – Generates powerful explosive energy
I’m all for using Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead
from Deadpool. My X-Men is going to
have a more serious tone than that movie, but there’s no reason those
characters can’t work. Colossus is the leader of our group by default. He doesn’t
want to be, but the qualities we saw in Deadpool
have made him step up and take charge.
NTW is actually Colossus’ enforcer, as odd as that
sounds. When someone gets out of line, she’s the one that handles it. Outwardly
she’s the snarky, self-involved girl we saw in Deadpool. Inwardly she’s the same, but is also totally devoted to
Colossus and to protecting mutants.
Forge
(Unknown) – Can build anything, including complicated technology
Forge would also be on the team because I love Forge.
He’s the crazy wizard character. He’d be older – no kids in this role. And he’s
going to look like Forge. A Native
American with cyborg parts.
Dazzler
(Alison Blaire) – Converts sound into light – anything from bursts to focused
lasers
I want Dazzler in a movie. And she does not get along
with Negasonic Teenage Warhead. The setting is grim and the team is in a tough
place, but Ali is the bright center of everything. Literally and figuratively.
Wolverine
(Laura Kinney) – Healing factor, enhanced sense, retractable claws
I don’t know what role X23 is going to play in Logan or what future plans may exist
(none, probably), but she’d be in my X-Men movie. This would be the late teen
version. She needs to be volatile but have some experience. She’s basically the
young version of Wolverine because… she’s basically the young version of
Wolverine. And yeah – I know she’s a little girl in Logan, which seems to be in the future. Time travel? I dunno.
Gambit
(Remy LeBeau) – Transforms potential energy into kinetic energy
Because I don’t think his movie is happening and I need a
character with his skills.
Gateway
(Unknown) – Mass teleportation
Gateway is a necessary part of the Australian Outback
setting, but I would make him more explicitly a mutant and part of the group.
He’d still be an old aborigine and keep mostly to himself.
I started to run into trouble after putting these
characters together because everyone I wanted to use was a New Mutant at some
point and I don’t want to use anyone from that franchise in this one. Because then
my fictional speculative piece would be ridiculous! I kept coming back to
Sunspot, Moonstar, Cypher, and of course Magik, who is one of my favorite
mutants. She’s Colossus’ sister, so at some point I’d like to see her show up,
but she’s also problematic thanks to her weird powers and the whole demon
thing. If FOX had the ability to just go with it I’d feel better, but it seems
to me the likelihood of mutants with more exotic powers or mystical connections
showing up is low (Forge’s can be easily overlooked or worked in later).
For my X-Men
world, though, we’d set the kind of fantastical tone that would allow for such
things. It’s a little hard to explain, but if your film(s) establish the right
kind of tone and setting you can get away with anything. But if you insist upon
things being overly “gritty”, “real”, and “grounded” you are severely limiting
what can be done and what the audience will accept.
So anyway, I’d add a couple more mutants to the main team
and have thirty or so as supporting characters that are just on the run and
living in the town, trying to do the best they can.
The villains would be the Reavers. I know they’re being
used in Logan, but that’s the future
and possibly even an alternate reality. So whatever. I was deeply disturbed by
the Reavers when I was a kid. The idea that these humans had robotic parts
horrified me. I would definitely want to get across the body horror aspect of
the Reavers in the film. That will play heavily into their story, which I’ll
get to in a minute.
Donald Pierce is the force behind the Reavers. He’s an
industrialist who produces arms and technology for the US government (yes, that
old gem).
The backstory between Forge and Pierce would be the
foundation of the plot of the movie.
Forge is a former US soldier that went to work for Pierce
after serving. He doesn’t realize just how much Pierce relied on his work or
everything that Pierce is up to. Eventually Forge discovers that Pierce has
been recruiting wounded and disabled veterans from veterans’ hospitals – men without
hope or money. They are then experimented on and enhanced and by the time
Pierce-Consolidated is done with them they are essentially slaves in Pierce’s private
paramilitary force. Forge’s breakthroughs in cybernetics have been used on
these men without his knowledge. But when he does find out, he is enraged.
Important note – Forge does not do the dumb thing where
he goes and confronts Pierce and tells him to stop. He recognizes that Pierce
is a bad guy at this point. Instead, he starts putting together information to
expose what’s been going on and gets caught. During his attempt to escape from
Pierce-Consolidated he is shot multiple times before being imprisoned deep
inside the facility. Rather than having his surgeons operate to remove the
bullets, Pierce has them amputate Forge’s hand and leg, telling the mutant that
he only needs his mind, not his body.
I know this sounds grisly and horrifying, but there’s a
way to shoot it without it being Saw.
It’s going to be tough to explain how Pierce keeps Forge
captive for however long he does, and as soon as Hollywood is paying my salary
I’ll figure it out. In the meantime, Forge builds himself a new hand and leg. I’d
love to have a montage of Forge over the years of his captivity improving and
replacing his own implants and have it reflect the visual changes we saw in the
comics over the years.
Okay, so how does the movie go?
The movie opens with a black screen and the sound of
Gateway’s bullroarer. Then there’s a flash and the visual of a bright portal
with shadowy figures exiting. Then blackness again.
From there Colossus, NTW, Gambit, Dazzler, and Wolverine
break into Pierce-Consolidated and rescue Forge.
You might wonder why they do this and how they know Forge
is there or even that he exists.
In the comics, the Australian town that the X-Men inhabit
sits on top of the Reavers’ headquarters. In this movie, there isn’t an entire
HQ but only one room, buried deep beneath the town. Only Colossus knows about
it and it’s where he receives his directions. It won’t happen in this movie,
but eventually we reveal that he’s taking orders from a hybrid of Cerebro and
Professor X’s consciousness.
Of course, even more eventually we’ll learn that it’s
really Cassandra Nova.
The point is that these X-Men are in hiding and
proactive. They have goals and missions. They aren’t just waiting to respond to
the next disaster.
Pierce is furious at the loss of his only source of
innovation and terrified of being exposed for the monster he is. Naturally he
is able to trace Forge’s own cybernetics to the Outback. Unless I can come up
with a better way for Pierce to be able to track the X-Men. Again – waiting for
that Hollywood money.
Over the course of the movie we will have gotten to know
the Reavers a bit. Not as much as our X-Men, but there’s been enough development
to know names and personality types and that some of them have grown to accept
and even enjoy working for Pierce and some have not. Edward Marks (if you get
that reference then you know we wouldn’t be able to use that name in all likelihood)
is one of the Reavers that isn’t satisfied with the situation. But he is a
soldier and he is glad that Pierce’s work has given him some kind of life after
being exposed to a gas that crippled his respiratory system.
The most savage Reavers are Skullbuster, Pretty Boy,
Cylla, and their leader, Bonecrusher.
When the Reavers converge on the X-Men’s town a massive
battle ensues. Marks sees that the mutants are trying to protect weaker,
innocent people and turns on the other Reavers. Pierce – watching from afar –
activates a self-destruct in Marks’ implants, but he has already helped the
X-Men drive the Reavers away.
Two key scenes here – the X-Men recognizing that Marks
helped them and the Reavers returning to their transport looking utterly torn
apart.
Marks wakes up in a makeshift lab. Maybe this is where we
get Forge’s backstory with Pierce. Also, he has realized that Pierce tracked
his parts and has built new ones.
Forge has repaired Marks and Marks basically joins the
team. My favorite X-Men teams always have an anomalous non-mutant like Longshot
or Warlock.
Marks and Negasonic insist that the team needs to attack
Pierce and finish things. Colossus wants to move from the town. Forge isn’t sure
what the right move is, but tells the others that Pierce won’t give up as long
as he knows Forge is alive. But Colossus is boss, so he delivers a speech to
the rest of the town about change and safety and tells them to pack up. They
will find a new home.
This doesn’t sit well with Negasonic. She gets with Marks
and Gambit and they decide that a small strike team can take out Pierce. They
approach Dazzler, but she won’t go against the boss. She won’t tell him,
either, though.
Gateway sends the trio directly to Pierce’s home, where
we get the reveal that he’s a cyborg, too! And that all of the Reavers have
gotten upgrades and that NTW, Marks, and Gambit are screwed.
Then, of course, Colossus, Wolverine, Dazzler, Forge, and
Deadpool (!) show up to save the day because Dazzler totally lied about not
telling Colossus.
Big, climactic battle ensues.
At the end, Pierce is handed over to the military and the
rest of the Reavers are put in high security special care hospitals. Or
something. The point is that the X-Men don’t murder everyone and that the bad
guys are given an opportunity to reform.
Marks joins the X-Men and they return to the town.
Two after-credits scenes – one is the first visual reveal
of Colossus’ computer. It is speaking in an Xavier-esque voice and telling
Piotr about the next mutant they have to rescue.
The second is a shot of a wide, open space in the
Outback. It holds for some time before a fiery, Phoenix-shaped entity crashes
violently to Earth from outer space. (this is Rachel, not Jean – maybe I’ll get
to my sequel someday; would you guys be interested?)
NOTES:
The movie would be shot old-school. No shaky cams and
very few extreme close-ups of characters talking. Lots of wide, panoramic shots
of the Outback. I’m picturing something very much like old Westerns.
I know I left out a lot of character stuff. I’d fill that
in if I was getting paid. But it is very important. I want audiences to leave
the movie knowing every characters’ names, powers, and motivations. I want each
character to be memorable and important. I want people to have different
favorite characters. I want them to be identifiable.
Dazzler would get a little story focus, as I want her to
dream of being a rock star and for Colossus to insist that she stay hidden.
Wolverine spends a lot of time with Gateway “because he doesn’t
talk as much as you people”. I realize that this attribute might be more Logan
than Laura, but I’m picturing her as the stand-offish badass.
Gambit needs something, but I don’t know what.
Everyone wears uniforms like Negasonic’s when they’re on
a mission. Only she and Colossus wear them in the town. They all share the same
basic design with some differences:
*Wolverine has the cowl and no sleeves
*Dazzler has altered hers to be a little more glamorous –
some sparkly bits, a skirt, whatever the kids are wearing; she wears headphones
always for her powers
*Gambit has his weird boots and his overcoat – NO HEAD
SOCK
*Once Forge puts on the uniform he adds a bunch of belts
with pouches full of parts to build stuff and also giant guns; Negasonic tells
him he’s very 90s
*When Deadpool shows up his costume is in the X-Men
colors
For added fun, the next Deadpool movie could include the
final battel at the opening, but from Deadpool’s POV – talking to the camera
and making fun of everything.
I want to start fresh and leave everything behind, but
unfortunately FOX’s X-Men movies burned through characters like crazy, leaving
very little untouched while still only putting effort into a small group of
mutants. What I’ve presented above feels like a good start to me. I just hate
it that the cinematic world of the X-Men is such a mess and has never had a conscientious
caretaker. It makes it difficult to visualize something new without literally
going back to the beginning and starting all over again. And the last thing we
need is another Charles Xavier origin movie. As I said above – there’s so much
more to the X-Men than that.
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