Welcome
to the fourth week of 31
Days of Halloween
here on Needless Things! We have all kinds of stuff in store for you
guys this year, ranging from creepy to kooky to mysteriously spooky
to gory and unforgettably disgusting. We’ll look at spooky toys,
horror movies, and all manner of things that go bump in the night.
As
soon as I could get my hands on the Sunday paper, I would pull out
the TV listings (my dad wouldn’t spring for the actual TV
Guide
magazine and I don’t blame him one bit) and plan out my week. I
didn’t have my own VCR until I was twelve, so there were sacrifices
made. If The
Howling
and Invaders
from Mars
were coming on at the same time, I was going to miss one (Invaders
from Mars,
but mostly because that movie scared the crap out of me).
Last
year I replaced my thoughts on SyFy’s October programming with some
programming of my own. If I was going to complain about SyFy all
month long (though I do love the channel and admire the fact that
they program a full month of spooky stuff), I should be able to
produce some television schedules of my own. Thus, The Phantom
Channel was born!
Once
a week I will post a “page” from my own personal TV Guide that
will present twenty-four hours of Halloweeny movies, cartoons, and TV
shows. Rather than being goofy or providing my usual commentary, I
have done my best to mimic the dry style utilized in the TV listings
magazine of my youth. I’ve added an extra challenge in this year,
as I am going to attempt to work a theme into each day’s
programming. Today’s theme:
VAMPIRES!
Morning
6:00
– Hotel Transylvania – Family – Adam Sandler, Selena Gomez
An
intolerant Dracula deals with his willful daughter and a human in his
hotel.(92 min.)
8:00
– Adventure Time “Evicted!/Marceline’s Closet” – Animated
Finn
and Jake meet the Vampire Queen and learn about her home life. (22
min.)
8:30
- Danger Mouse "Duckula Meets Frankenstoat" - Animated
DM's most dangerous supernatural nemeses team up! (25 min.)
DM's most dangerous supernatural nemeses team up! (25 min.)
9:00
– Count Duckula “Bloodsucking Fruit Bats of the Lower Amazon” –
Animated
Igor
tricks the Count into a trip to the Amazon. (22 min.)
9:30
– Little Dracula “Midnight Madness” – Animated
The
adventures of Dracula’s son. (22 min.)
10:00
– The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy “Dracula Must Die!/The
Uninvited/Death of the Party" – Animated
Dracula
has to deal with Billy and Mandy’s ridiculous nonsense. (28 min.)
10:30
– Scooby-Doo: Legend of the Vampire - Animated – Frank Welker,
Casey Kasem
The
gang investigate an Australian vampire at a music festival. (72 min.)
Afternoon
12:00
– Samson vs. The Vampire Women – Horror - Santo, Lorena Velázquez
Heroic
luchador El Santo battles the undead in Mexico. (89 min.)
1:30
– Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant – Horror – John C.
Reilly, Ken Watanabe
Two
friends discover the world of the supernatural at a freak show. (109
min.)
3:30
– Drak Pack “Dred Goes Hollywood” – Animated
Dr.
Dred releases a movie that makes Drak, Frankie, and Howler look bad.
(25 min.)
4:00
– Tales from the Cryptkeeper “Fare Tonight" – Animated
Paranormal
investigators make a shocking discovery. (22 min.)
4:30
– The Batman vs. Dracula – Animated
The
lord of the vampires comes to Gotham City. (84 min.)
Evening
6:00
– Salem’s Lot – Horror – David Soul, James Mason
No
one living in Salem’s Lot dared talk about the high, sweet, evil
laughter of a child… and the sucking sounds… (184 min.)
9:30
– Tales from the Crypt “The Reluctant Vampire” – Horror
A
vampire struggles to avoid his true nature. (24 min.)
10:00
– Shadow of the Vampire – Horror – Willem Dafoe, John Malkovich
The
star of F.W. Murnau’s newest film is taking method acting to a
whole new level. (109 min.)
12:00
– From Dusk Till Dawn – Horror – George Clooney, Harvey Keitel
After
being kidnapped by two criminal brothers, the Fuller family learns
that there are even worse things out there. (108 min.)
Late
Night
2:00
– Near Dark – Horror – Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton
A
young man learns about vampires. The hard way. (95 min.)
4:00
– Taste the Blood of Dracula – Horror – Christopher Lee, Gwen
Watford
A
resurrected Dracula seeks bloody revenge.(95 min.)
That’s
another day of Halloweeny programming in the can! I hope you decide
to watch a couple of these selections and maybe even put together a
viewing schedule of your own. Be
sure to join the Needless
Things Podcast Facebook Group
and share your own awesome Halloween viewing schedules. We’d love
to hear from you!
Also,
follow PhantomTroublemaker on Instagram for the return of
#monsteraday, where I feature a different monster toy every day, all
month long!
Until
next time, stay creepy!
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