It is, unfortunately, inevitable that every year I will
start at least one of these recaps by saying I didn’t feel very good in the
morning. To one degree or another.
I didn’t feel very good Friday morning. As I detailed in the last installment, I didn’t drink all day on Thursday and tried to make up for it after wrestling was done at night. Fortunately I wasn’t too successful quantity-wise and only felt mildly shitty the next morning rather than having a full-on, chunk-blowing hangover. As has happened in previous years.
Also fortunately, our pal Beth
V was meeting Oz (also known as Popeye the Sailor Moon) in my room so
that she could curl his hair.
What? It’s Dragon Con.
Beth hooked me up with some Emergen C, which replenished
my body’s vital blah blah blah and helped me to feel better. Shortly after
imbibing that not-quite-miracle cure I was up and about and took a shower,
which helped more than anything else to make me feel human. Pro-tip, kids – when
you feel shitty, take a shower. It might not be a miracle cure, but it sure
does help.
Speaking of things that help, there is a place in the
Peachtree Mall food court called The Farmer’s Basket. They have a bunch of
fried food and Chinese stuff, but they also have some halfway healthy
offerings. This is the second year that I have eaten there as a form of
recovery and it works well. I like to get their grilled chicken with fried
rice, fried okra, and a piece of cornbread. The grilled chicken is moist and
delicious and seasoned with something tasty. The fried stuff obviously isn’t
the best for you, but it’s lightly done and not too greasy. The fried rice
almost seems healthy. Their cornbread is so good it’s like dessert. One order
lasts me two meals, so I consider this place a bargain.
By the time I was done eating I was good to go. As a
matter of fact, I didn’t even have the pre-panel nervousness that I sometimes
get.
Actually, “nervous” isn’t even the right word. It’s more
about being in the groove. There are many different factors that affect how
“on” I am for panels. I don’t get nervous, but I do fall into this thing where
I might not be as excited. But on Friday I had two panels – Toy Stories and The
Shining vs. The Shining – and I was revved up for both of them. Actually, I was
pretty darn excited for everything I had going on this year, as you know if
you’ve been listening to the Needless
Things Podcast.
Normally I try to wear different gear for each panel, but
Friday’s were close enough together temporally and far enough apart
geographically that a costume change wasn’t practical. A mask change and a
switch of lapel pins – from Inhumanoid Tendril to Room 237 carpet pattern – was
as good as I was going to be able to manage.
If you attended any of my panels this year you might have
noticed that I didn’t give anything away like I usually do. There are two
reasons for this – I lug enough stuff down to Con as it is and that stuff costs
money. I have a very limited budget
for my Phantom-related activities and this year in particular I have had to cut
some corners, despite starting SupportPhantom.com.
I do my best to make my panels as interactive as possible, so that’s going to
have to be its own reward. Besides, does anyone really need Dollar Tree figures
and Bigfoot whistles?
Since I didn’t have Phantom’s big, purple bucket of
goodies, all I had to carry was my toys, my voice recorder, and my water
bottle. Plus the messenger bag full of crap I keep with me just in case.
Business cards, tape, pins, mints, backup battery – that kind of stuff. Yeah,
I’m never more than twenty minutes from my room, but you never know. As I
learned in the Boy Scouts – double knot your belt at night.
No, wait – be
prepared. That’s what I learned. The belt thing is just a subcategory of
that.
The American Sci-Fi Classics Track was in a bigger room
this year with a far, far better design. Unfortunately it was also located down
what appeared to be a service corridor. The first time I visited I felt like I
was venturing into a part of the Marriott where I should not be. It was a
little odd and hard to find and I’m going to blame that for the fact that there
were only twelve people at the Toy Stories panel.
Yeah.
After a reasonably full room and tons of positive feedback last year, it was extremely disheartening
to see such a low attendance level. I have to tell you – when I sat at the table
and looked at the room, I didn’t even want to do the panel anymore. Obviously
that wasn’t an option. Plus, Rebeccah, Noel, Sean, and Gary were all there, so
at the very least I was going to get a fun podcast episode out of it (which you
can listen to here).
Sometimes I feel that I need to share stories about being
a dum-dum so that you guys can laugh and feel better about your own lives. This
is one of those times.
I did not bring my laptop to Dragon Con this year because
I realized there wasn’t anything I would need to do that I wouldn’t be able to
accomplish with my phone. One less thing to haul. Normally I charge my voice
recorder by plugging it into a PC USB port. Since I didn’t have one, I had
plugged it into my phone’s charger earlier in the day, assuming that would work
just fine.
When the recorder is plugged in, a message pops up that
says “Preparing to Charge – Press ‘OK’ to Continue”. I pressed “OK”, but it did
not continue. I unplugged it and turned it on and off and did everything I
could think of, but it wouldn’t start charging.
Oh, well. Supposedly it can record something like twenty
hours on one charge, so I figured I’d be fine for the weekend. I just like to
keep my devices charged, my gas tank full, my beer bag stocked, etc.
Once I got situated at the toy panel I pulled out my
recorder, switched it on, and found that the buttons still wouldn’t respond. SHIT. Bad enough we barely had a sufficient
quantity of people in the room to form a jury; I wasn’t even going to be able
to record the thing for a podcast because my normally excellent voice recorder
had gone kaput.
Fortunately, our pal Sean, aka Rad Ranger, had his own recorder handy (because someday he’ll record episode 3 of Radical Bear’s Ranger Red Radcast; Reformed). Be sure to thank him for episode 125 of the Needless Things Podcast when you see him.
I later discovered that I had been inadvertently sliding
the power button on my own recorder into the “Lock” position. This had never been a problem before and I don’t
know why it was then. But at least I don’t have to buy a new voice recorder
because that would probably spell the financial end of the Needless Things
Podcast.
Despite the lowest attendance for any panel I have ever
been on, let alone hosted, we had fun. We drew things out in an attempt to wait
for Joe Crowe to return from a Judge Reinhold panel, but unfortunately Joe
didn’t make it in time to show everyone his Big Jim.
After the panel I wanted to head straight over to the
Westin, where the Horror Track was located and where The Shining panel was
taking place. This was my first event with the Horror Track and my first panel at the Westin. I
wanted to allow plenty of time to get there. And I did.
The Shining panel was at 7 PM, but I got to the Westin
before 6. I decided I had plenty of time to run over to AmericasMart and find
my pal, Mike
Gordon. On the way there I ran into another pal, Brian Blaze, and we proceeded
into the labyrinthine structure that is the AmericasMart collection of
buildings.
I’ve been wanting to talk to Blaze for a while about
comics and whatnot, but usually when we’re in proximity he’s wrestling and I’m shouting
things. Sometimes into a microphone, sometimes not. This was a cool opportunity
to shoot the nerd shit, as it were.
My thoughts on AmericasMart:
Everything at Dragon Con needed more space. That is a
fact. I truly believe that Dragon Con has utilized AmericasMart in the best way
possible to increase the available space and over the course of the past couple
of years get attendees used to going there. Five years from now nobody will be
complaining about it anymore. Maybe three, even.
I do not like AmericasMart. It’s confusing and somehow,
despite being a much larger space than either the Hyatt or Marriott rooms it
has replaced, feels cramped and confined. There are also issues with capacity.
I didn’t run into them myself, but I heard about them.
All of that being said, there simply weren’t any other
options.
We never did find Mike Gordon. Despite his big ol’ Tiki
hut table, I couldn’t track him down. Me and Blaze wandered through various
artists and dealers before I had to head off to find the room that my panel was
in.
As I mentioned before, I don’t really get nervous before
panels anymore. But I did have some trepidation about meeting the Horror Track
folks for the first time. I had talked to Derek plenty (some of which you can
listen to here)
and had actually run into him and John Ichabod Anderson on Thursday, but I didn’t
know anyone else involved with the
track. You never know how people are going to feel about newcomers; especially
newcomers in goofy wrestling masks.
Fortunately, everyone was great. We had a wonderful,
engaging conversation about the various versions of The Shining and I think the audience really dug what we were doing.
You’ll be able to hear the full panel on an upcoming episode of the Needless
Things Podcast, though it is going to take some editing. Sound levels weren’t
great and I believe we were right under an air conditioning unit (which is
better than not having an air conditioning unit).
After the panel I headed back to my room to beer up and
eat the rest of my grilled chicken. There was only a little bit of time before
Bean and Bear’s SECRET SHOW.
If you don’t know Bean and Bear, they’re best friends and two of the most entertaining people I have ever seen in my life. I know that I say that a lot and that you might think that I am prone to hyperbole, but I honestly feel that I’ve just been incredibly fortunate.
On Friday night at Dragon Con, Bean and Bear put on a
SECRET SHOW called Up Past Bedtime with
Bean and Bear. I was hipped to the fact that it was a pajama jammy jam
beforehand, so Oz and I showed up appropriately attired. Someday the world may
get a full-body view of my magnificent luchador footy pajamas (that are hotter
than fresh waffles), but today is not that day.
While waiting for the doors to open I got to talk to both
Bean and Bear, who give what might be the best hugs I have ever received. I am
well acquainted with the pair, as you might remember from last year’s Christmas
Puckin’ Fuppet Show:
 |
(Bean not pictured, as her performance was what we were watching at the time)
|
We also chatted with a new friend named Crystal, who
loves wrestling and puppetry and was awesome enough to save us seats up front!
Making friends at Dragon Con is the best. I meet more new people there than I
do the whole rest of the year.
Granted, that’s because I’m basically a shut-in, but it’s
still nice.
BIGGEST NEWS OF FRIDAY – I got to be a part of Bean and Bear’s
show! Their dog, scraps, needed several people to jump over, so I was one of
five or so that got down on our hands and knees for the stunt. Not my biggest
moment (or my first time in that position), but being a part of anything that
those two do is special.
I’m now realizing that Friday night was a whirlwind of
fun, as right after the SECRET SHOW we headed over to the Hyatt to see Shooter
Jennings.
I didn’t really know what to expect from Shooter
Jennings. I had read up on him a little bit prior to Con just to try and figure
out what the heck he was doing there, but didn’t listen to anything. I find I’m
much more apt to dig an artist if I hear them live first, and I didn’t want any
preconceptions. With as varied as his musical resume was, what if I just
happened to pick the one song that wasn’t my thing?
Well, walking into the ballroom I got the complete opposite end of that spectrum of possibilities. Jennings and his band were just kicking into a song that reminded me very much of early Ministry. And I don’t mean The Land of Rape and Honey. I’m talking With Sympathy. Shooter was in the middle of the stage manning a synthesizer, decked out in a white suit and some aviator glasses. I don’t know what I expected, but this was not it. I was hooked.
From there, Jennings pulled out a guitar and plowed into
a very heavy, anthemic rock song, then into a more twangy country tune. He and
the band flowed into and out of genres deftly, putting together one of the more
eclectic and entertaining performances I’ve ever seen.
Before I knew it, Shooter Jennings was thanking the crowd
and Dragon Con and bringing the show to a close. I had just stayed through his
entire set. Only two other bands have kept me for their whole show at Dragon Con
– The Misfits and Calabrese. There’s just so much other stuff to do, you have
to be pretty compelling to get somebody’s time.
After the show I was determined to stop by his table and
pick up some music, particularly the 80s synth stuff (which I learned was
mostly from Countach (For Giorgio)). I’ll
get into that experience in part 4 of this recap, but suffice it to say Shooter
Jennings has a new fan.
And with that, my night pretty much came to a close. I
took it easy on the booze and was in bed by 2 AM. I was scheduled for the
Horror Track’s panel on being a parent and a horror fan, and it was the one I
was most excited about the whole weekend (I don’t think of the game show as a
panel). I wanted to be sure to be rested and sober.
This was one of the best Fridays I’ve had at Con. Since wrestling
was on Thursday, it felt like everything was happening on this whole extra day.
It was all a bonus and it was all great,
even the under-attended Toy Stories panel.
At the time, I felt like it was time to pull the plug on
Toy Stories; at Dragon Con, at least. I couldn’t see any reason to continue
something that had drawn so poorly. But this was the first such miserable
showing for anything I’ve done and I don’t think I can give up after just one
bomb. So as long as the Powers That Be allow it, I’ll be back with another Toy
Stories next year.
PLEASE SHOW UP. And bring toys.
Come back next week for day three of my Dragon Con recap.
In the meantime, check Needless Things every day for new and original content
from Beth, Jerry, Devlin, Christina, and all of the Needless Things Irregulars!
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and Instagram for all the best in dorkery!
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Needless Things before, thanks for coming by. Our writers post five times a
week about toys, movies, music, and all manner of pop culture dorkery.
The Needless Things
Podcast posts once a week, usually on Friday. Come back after Dragon Con for
full coverage of what went down, as well as audio recordings of our panels.
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