I’ve
been asked many times about a Dragon Con Toy Track. Whether or not it
was a good idea, what it would be, and if I would want to run it.
I’ve
never been asked by any Dragon Con bigwigs, mind you; just by people
that have seen my panels and have enthusiasm for plastic
collectibles.
I
think it’s a fantastic idea and I would never
run it (probably). As to what it would be, I think that makes for an
interesting post. So that’s what I’m going to be doing today.
This
is pure fantasy booking and not anything that is happening or ever
will. To reiterate – this
is not an actual programming Track or a listing of actual panels.
I just thought it would be fun to do because I’m weird. When the
Horror Track contacted me about doing a couple of things with them I
actually sat down and programmed a whole weekend’s worth of panels
before culling it and sending him the picks I thought were most
likely to hapen, even though I knew the possibility existed that not
a one of them would be used.
I
like making schedules. Back when I still had time to play wrestling
video games I would schedule out the entire year of programming –
every RAW,
SmackDown,
and pay-per-view.
Clearly I have a problem.
Thursday
7:00
PM – Toy Swap/Meet and Greet
– I’m sort of stealing this idea from our pals at Joelanta.
This would be a casual hangout with music and whatnot. Attendees
could bring old toys to swap out with other attendees.
Friday
11:30
AM – A Brief History of Licensed Toys
– This is a panel I’ve done before, but I barely scratched the
surface. I think it’s fascinating to look at the history of toy
licensing and how the success and/or failure of toy lines and the
related movies have affected the marketplace.
1:00
PM – From Popples to Pound Puppies: 80s Plush
– A look at the stuffed toys of the 80s.
2:30
PM – Building Greatness: LEGO in the Toy Industry
– A big ol’ LEGO talk. Hopefully led by Gnoll from Dork
Droppings.
4:00
PM – Needless Things Presents: Toy Stories
– Okay, so this panel actually is
happening, but as part of the American Sci-Fi Classics Track. Myself
and a panel of guests will share stories about toys from our lives.
The audience is invited to bring their own toys and stories to share,
as well! This will, indeed, be happening Friday at 4 PM in the
Marriot M103-105. Come out and bring your toys!
5:30
PM – Toy Fare Magazine
– A panel about the most valuable resource toy collectors had from
1997 until 2010.
7:00
PM – Action Girls!
– Princess of Power, Polly Pocket, Strawberry Shortcake – action
figure lines focused on female characters.
Saturday
8:00
AM – Saturday Morning Toy Toons!
– A block of programming of classic 80s cartoons attached to toy
lines. Just for fun:
8:00
– The
Smurfs
8:30
- Challenge
of the GoBots
9:00
– He-Man
and the Masters of the Universe
9:30
- GI
Joe: A Real American Hero
10:00
– JEM
10:30
– Spiral
Zone
Note:
I’d need a volunteer to run this because no
way am
I going to be up at 8 on Saturday.
11:30
AM – Star Wars in the 90s: Power of the Franchise
– My first thought was to do a panel on everything from Kenner to
Hasbro, but if I’m honest the 1995 Kenner relaunch had a bigger
impact on my life. Plus, it isn’t talked about as much. I think
it’s a very interesting part of Star Wars history and well worth
discussing.
1:00
PM – Legendary: Battle of the Marvels
– An audience participation panel where we determine the best
Marvel Legends action figure! Bring your favorites from Toy Biz and
Hasbro.
2:30
PM – The Modern Age of Mattel: Masters, Multiverses, and More
– A discussion of Mattel’s offerings from the past twenty years,
including Masters of the Universe and DC Comics toys.
4:00
PM – The Import of Imports
– How foreign toys have made it to America and influenced domestic
lines. Including Micronauts, Transformers, M.U.S.C.L.E., Voltron, and
more.
5:30
– Transformers Beast Wars: Classic or Caustic?
– An audience participation panel where the merits of the second
major iteration of the Robots in Disguise is debated. Let’s pen
Gnoll and The
Oncoming Storm’s
Josh in for this one.
7:00
– McFarlane Toys
– Comic book artist Todd McFarlane changed the toy market forever.
Panelists will discuss the innovations and shortcomings of these
legendary and influential toys and action figures.
8:30
PM – The Figure from the Black Lagoon: Universal Monsters in
Plastic
– A look at the massive licensing history of the world’s
best-known movie monsters.
Because
I know people skip the intros I will reiterate - this is not an
actual programming Track or a listing of actual panels.
Sunday
8:00
AM – Sunday Morning Toy Toons!
– A block of programming of classic 90s cartoons attached to toy
lines. Just for fun:
8:00
– Aaah!!!
Real Monsters
8:30
- Pirates
of Dark Water
9:00
– Captain
Planet and the Planeteers
9:30
– Spider-Man:
The Animated Series
10:00
– X-Men
10:30
– Batman:
The Animated Series
Note:
I’d need a volunteer to run this because no
way am
I going to be up at 8 on Sunday.
11:30
AM – Cholesterol & Collectibles: Fast Food Premiums
– McDonald’s, Burger Kind, and even Hardee’s have a long
history of including some of the most collectible toys ever with
their kid-oriented meals. We’ll take a look at some of the most
popular items here.
1:00
PM – The Retro Revival
– Mego’s lasting influence on the toy industry, including modern
clothed action figures from NECA and Figures Toy Company.
2:30
PM – Toys in Spaaaaace!
– Bring in your aliens, spaceships, and moon monsters for an
audience participation panel about toys from the beyond!
4:00
PM – Little Rubber Guys
– Let’s talk about M.U.S.C.L.E., Monster in My Pocket, and even
those little eraser aliens from the 80s!
5:30
PM - House of Plastic: The History of Horror Toys
– Because there’s so much more than just the Universal Monsters.
7:00
PM – GI Joe: After the Movie
– The GI Joe toy line got more and more bizarre and sci-fi-oriented
after the release of the 1987 animated film. Let’s talk about that.
And then watch the movie.
Monday
11:30
AM – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
– A discussion of the longevity of one of the most popular toy
lines of all time.
1:00
PM – The Other Robots
– GoBots, Voltron, Robo Force, ROM, and the other non-Transformer
toys that battled it out in the toy aisles!
2:30
PM – Far-Out Toys of the Sixties!
– Outer Space Men, James Bond cars, and Batman utility belts.
4:00
PM – Toy Jam
– Show off your Dealer Room acquisitions, last chance trades, and
plans and suggestions for 2017!
BONUS
THOUGHTS
I
doubt very much that I’d have any kind of budget for Guests, but if
I did, I’d bring Zach Oat, Gary Schaeffer and Mel Birnkrant, Chris
DePetrillo, and Timothy Clarke. Each would get (at least) one panel.
I mention those because they’re guys that I already have a
relationship with and feel certain I could convince to show up. Once
established, I’d go after some other toy industry folks in future
years.
While
trying to keep all of those guys coming back.
If
there’s some egregious oversight or a toy line that you simply
can’t believe I skipped, remember this – in theory there are
years
of Toy Track programming ahead! And if you thought this looked fun or
like a Toy Track is a great idea, let someone know!
And
one last time for good measure - this is not an actual programming
Track or a listing of actual panels.
If
you’re here checking out Dragon Con stuff and haven’t visited
Needless Things before, thanks for coming by. Me and my writers post
five times a week about toys, movies, music, and all manner of pop
culture dorkery. I do the Needless
Things Podcast once
a week. And definitely come back in October for our 31 Days of
Halloween! It lasts all month long and everything on the site is
thoroughly Halloweeny!
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