The
last time one of my posts had that tile it was about Star
Wars toys.
In it, I was hilariously wrong about many things, including the
pricing on what was then the upcoming Force Awakens line. I was also
wrong in thinking that I might be done collecting Star Wars toys.
Sort of.
That’s
a post for another day.
Today
I’m going to talk about a line that has dominated my collecting for
the past five years. It’s filled my shelves and emptied my wallet.
It’s had ups and downs and has been the source of much frustration
and a decent amount of… not quite
joy, but certainly satisfaction.
I’m
going to talk about how and why I quit collecting Mattel’s Masters
of the Universe Classics line just four figures shy of “the end”.
To date, I estimate that I bought roughly $1330 worth of action figures that I would not have purchased if this was a normal retail line that I had been picking and choosing like I normally do. I know that sounds absolutely fucking nuts, and it totally is.
And
that’s not even including the shipping, which I am not going to
tell you about.
In
my defense, that number includes all of the toys that I wouldn’t
have bought but that I did end up liking. I ran down the list of
releases and picked out every figure I’ve had to buy since I first
subscribed in 2011 that I wouldn’t have bought if it had just been
on a peg in a store. Of course, if anything from this line had been
on a peg at a store for the prices that Mattycollector.com was
charging I wouldn’t have bought any of them at all.
I
can’t explain how I got so caught up in this line. It started with
Scareglow.
The new He-Man line had caught my eye, but as much as Masters of the
Universe had been a part of my youth, it was never one of my big
things. I liked the look and style of these new figures, but these
just weren’t characters I needed.
Until I saw that beautiful glow-in-the-dark skeleton man. If Matty
had waited any longer to produce Scareglow, I might not have all of
the Classics toys that I own today. He was my gateway drug. I had
to have him. And of course, once I got the figure in my hand I was
elated at how great the articulation and sculpt were. It’s hard to
remember the excitement I felt then after five years of buying
essentially the exact same figure, but I know that I was blown away
by Scareglow.
So
much so that when Matty offered Skeletor again in 2010, I bought one.
And that’s where they got me. Because then there was Trap-Jaw
and Moss
Man
and Evil-Lynn
and Optikk
and this amazing
run of figures. 2010 was an almost perfect year of Masters of the
Universe Classics figures. I was cherry picking at the time – only
buying the ones I wanted – and out of the twenty-two characters
that were offered I own sixteen and am still looking for two (Wun-Dar
and Battle Armor He-Man). I spent the entire year waiting for Matty
sales and hoping desperately that they wouldn’t sell out of the
figures I wanted.
At
the time I suspected that the sellouts were all a clever marketing
scheme to pressure people into subscribing. In retrospect, I am
positive that this was the case. Every one of those figures that
“sold out” so quickly was at some point offered for sale again on
the site. I couldn’t have known that at the time, though, and so I
fell for their scam and subscribed in 2011. I was tired of the sales
and the frustration of logging onto Matty. Everything I had bought so
far had been so good that I had no doubts the line would continue to
delight me.
Ha.
Ha.
To
be fair, 2011 was another great year. If it hadn’t been, I probably
wouldn’t have resubbed in 2012. There were twenty-one figures in
the sub. There were six I didn’t want, but I ended up happy with
four of those anyway. Clawful
and Snout
Spout
were the losers. Both figures had terrible
heads and Snout Spout is still a low point of the line in my opinion,
though he was significantly improved by his 200X head.
So
Scareglow was my gateway figure, the 2010 collection was my sign that
the line was strong, and the 2011 sub was confirmation that subbing
was the way to go.
It
was all downhill from there.
While
the bulk of the 2012 subscription figures were still solid, Matty
kicked the year off with the Star Sisters 3-pack. It was something
that very few people actually seemed to want. The execution was fine,
but the choice was iffy. The year was also oversaturated with
product. In addition to the twenty-two club figures we also saw six
Thirtieth Anniversary figures that, in retrospect, were completely
insane to buy and four non-sub items that were mostly okay.
2013
was the beginning of the true decline. In retrospect, there were only
four out of the total twenty-eight figures that I consider
must-haves. Some of the rest are nice and some are turds. But this
was the year that I really started to think, “What the fuck am I
doing here?”
The
following year was actually better, partly because there was what I
personally feel was a more interesting selection of characters, but
also because I didn’t subscribe to the Princess of Power sub-line.
I think that I had seriously considered not subscribing in 2014, and
I know that I had no intention of purchasing the 2015 subscription.
As far as I was concerned, I was done with the line.
But
then San Diego Comic Con arrived and Matty gave me many reasons to
hang in there. First they announced that 2015 would be the final year
of Masters of the Universe Classics. With the end so near, how could
I drop the line now? Second, they showed some truly awesome figures.
The assortment that was revealed was the most exciting since 2010 and
they were at long last delivering a character that I had been waiting
for – Oo-Lar! Finally, at some point it was announced that Scott
Nietlich – or Toy Guru – was leaving Mattel.
Let
me be clear – if it wasn’t for Scott Nietlich, the Masters of the
Universe Classics line never would have happened. He was solely
responsible for getting the line started, for recruiting the Four
Horsemen to work on it, and for the level of communication that the
customers (not fans; customers)
had with the company. While the interaction was not always
satisfactory and was sometimes deceitful or even inflammatory, it was
there. And not many toy companies have ever kept fans as informed as
Nietlich did.
As the
head of the brand, however, there is no doubt that Nietlich was
responsible for some of the greatest travesties the Classics line
presented – poor quality control, questionable character selection,
reprehensible customer service, and downright rapacious shipping fees
that paid for the most inefficient shipping I have ever experienced.
The number of times I felt outright disgust with one of these
factors is unacceptable, and I think that I was one of the lucky ones.
I never had an issue so bad that I had to return product or make
multiple calls to the so-called customer service department.
Despite
feeling like 2015 was the end of the line, I subscribed to next
year’s Collector’s Choice line. It was only six figures and two
beasts, they dropped the prices, and the three figures shown looked
awesome. Plus, for the first time ever Matty actually announced every
figure in the sub. There would be no wondering about who was coming
and every character announced seemed like a winner. I can’t say I
was one hundred percent certain I should be subscribing, but I
definitely felt better about it than I had the past two years. It
felt more like a choice (a Collector’s Choice!) than an obligation.
Side
Note: I did not subscribe to the Filmation sub. As much as I love the
look and style of the figures, they are an entirely different
collection and I simply can’t start collecting a whole new He-Man
line. I will buy Trap-Jaw, though.
Back in
October I started planning out finances for Christmas and the rest of
the end of the year activities. I was in good shape, but one thing
kept sticking in my craw – all of that money that was going to go
out in the second week of December for four Masters of the Universe
Classics figures that I essentially did not want. And certainly
didn’t need.
I was ready to make the break.
The
credit card that was on file with Matty had a bad strip that wasn’t
going to get any better. I decided it was time to order that
replacement card, knowing that the number and expiration date would
change. As soon as I heard the confirmation that my old card was
deactivated and that my new card was on the way, I felt great. A few
weeks later I got an e-mail from Matty to let me know that
subscriptions were renewing and to update my payment information if
need be. I laughed to myself, knowing what was going to happen. A
week or so after that I received the e-mail stating that they had
been unable to renew my subs and that I needed to act now if I wanted
to continue receiving my figures!
It’s
done. I’m done.
I
recently gave Battle Armor Faker to my friend Beau because, as you
know if you’ve been with the site for long, he adores
Masters of the Universe Classics. It’s not that I don’t like that
figure, but it was the only one that Beau didn’t have and it meant
more to him than it did to me. I didn’t cry over it, I didn’t
despair. I don’t feel like there’s a hole in my collection. I
have a feeling I’m going to be reducing the size of my Classics
collection over the next few months. I’ve been trying to figure out
how to make some room for my 200X figures and getting rid of some
less desirable Classics seems like a good way to do that.
If you
take anything away from this, I hope that it’s to give thought to
your collectibles. Try not to buy stuff out of habit. Try not to let
yourself get worked up over the possibility of not owning a thing.
Just the other day I was out with my family and there was a figure or
toy or something that I wanted to buy. I picked it up and carried it
around for a while, but eventually put it back. I realized that while
it was cool and that in that moment I would like to own it, in the
long run it wouldn’t really make any difference in my life if I had
it or not. I put it back and as of right now I can’t even remember
what it was, this thing that I was probably about to spend twenty
bucks on.
That’s
the story of how I got into and out of Masters of the Universe
Classics. I’m sure I’ll return to the “Why I Quit” theme
sooner or later, so stay tuned.
In the
meantime, if you enjoyed this post and have a story of your own, join
the Needless
Things Podcast Facebook Group
and get in on the conversation.
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