As
a wise man once said, what’s good for Halloween is good for
Christmas, too!
I’m
pretty sure nobody ever said that.
These
are the programs that I would most like to have accompanying me and
my family throughout this magical day. Obviously there are some time
gaps due to varying run times. Just imagine these are filled with
seasonal commercials for McDonald’s, Coca-Cola, Toys R Us, and H&R
Block.
Yes,
H&R Block. They start promoting early for tax season.
Morning
6:00
– Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer – Animated – Burl Ives
Rankin-Bass
tells the story of how a young reindeer came to lead Santa’s sleigh
and save Christmas. (55 min.)
7:00
– The Nightmare Before Christmas – Animated – Chris Sarandon,
Catherine O’ Hara
Dissatisfied
with his lot in life, Halloween ghoul Jack Skellington attempts to
steal Christmas from Sandy Claws. Er, Santa Claus. (76 min.)
8:30
– The Muppet Christmas Carol – Family – Michael Caine, Steve
Whitmire
The
Muppets perform their version of Dickens’ tale. (86 min.)
10:00
– Home Alone – Family – Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci
When
Kevin McAllister’s mother utterly fails at her responsibilities,
the boy is left behind to defend his home from two criminals on
Christmas. (103 min.)
Afternoon
12:00
– The Facts of Life “Christmas in the Big House”
Blair
unknowingly plans a charity event at a prison! (24 min.)
12:30
– 227 “Mary’s Christmas” - Comedy
The
church is moving and it doesn’t look like they’ll be done in time
for the Christmas pageant! (22 min.)
1:00
– The Golden Girls “’Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas” -
Comedy
Dorothy,
Blanche, Rose, and Sophia are held hostage by a desperate Santa
Claus. (22 min.)
1:30
– Amen “The Deacon’s Donkey” – Comedy
Ernest
takes over running the Christmas pageant and has to deal with the
star getting sick. (24 min.)
2:00
– he Six Million Dollar Man “A Bionic Christmas Carol” –
Action
Co.
Steve Austin uses his bionic abilities to bring joy to a curmudgeon.
(60 min.)
3:00
– The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy “Billy & Mandy
Save Christmas” – Animated
Santa
Claus is turned into a vampire and only Billy & Mandy can save
the day! (22 min.)
3:30
– Earthworm Jim “For Whom the Jingle Bell Tolls” – Animated
The
evil Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Stinky, Pus-filled,
Malformed, Slug-For-A-Butt tries to brainwash Santa Claus and Jim,
Peter Puppy, and Princess What’s-Her-Name must save the day! (23
min.)
4:00
– X-Men “Have Yourself A Morlock Little X-Mas” – Animated
Storm
and Wolverine try to bring Christmas joy to the sewer-dwelling
Morlocks. (21 min.)
4:30
– The New Batman Adventures “Holiday Knights” – Animated
It’s
Christmas in Gotham City and all of her inhabitants deal with it in
different ways. (30 min.)
4:00
– ALF “ALF’s Special Christmas” – Comedy
Separated
from the Tanners, ALF discovers the true meaning of Christmas. (47
min.)
5:00
– Elf – Comedy – Wil Ferrell, James Caan
Buddy
the Elf searches for his birth father, spreads Christmas joy all over
New York City, and saves Christmas. Possibly the best Christmas movie
of all time. (96 min.)
Evening
7:00
– Regular Show “The Christmas Special”
Mordecai
and Rigby discover an injured Santa Claus in the park garage and must
destroy the present that could end Christmas forever. (22 min.)
7:30
– A Charlie Brown Christmas – Animated
Charlie
Brown, Snoopy, and the Peanuts gang celebrate Christmas. (25 min.)
8:00
– Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town – Animated – Fred Astaire,
Mickey Rooney
The
classic Rankin-Bass story of Santa Claus. (51 min.)
9:00
– National Lampoons’ Christmas Vacation – Comedy – Chevy
Chase, Beverly D’Angelo
Clark
Griswold risks life and sanity to make sure his family has the best
Christmas ever. (96 min.)
11:00
– Scrooged – Comedy – Bill Murray, Karen Allen
A
dark and hilarious update of Charles Dickens’ classic tale of
redemption. (101 min.)
Late
Night
1:00
– Gremlins – Horror – Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates
Billy
Peltzer learns a valuable lesson about following the rules. (106
min.)
3:00
– Batman Returns – Action – Michael Keaton, Michelle Pfeiffer
Batman
murders a bunch of circus performers and a Donald Trump analog pushes
a crazy cat lady out of a window. (126 min.)
5:30
– Batman: The Brave and the Bold “Invasion of the Secret Santas!”
– Animated
Red
Tornado and Batman both learn important things about Christmas whilst
battling evil robot Santas.(23 min.)
You
might have noticed the absence of one of the most beloved Christmas
movies of all time, A
Christmas Story.
I am somewhat loathe to admit this, but I am not a fan. I won’t go
into too much detail, as that might actually make for an interesting
post, but I haven’t watched that thing in years and I don’t
intend to any time soon.
Unless
I think it would make for another post.
I
hope you decide to watch a couple of these selections and maybe even
put together a viewing schedule of your own. Be
sure to join the Needless
Things Podcast Facebook Group
and share your own festive Christmas viewing schedules. We’d love
to hear from you!
This
might be the last thing I post before Christmas, so I wanted to take
this opportunity to thank you all for checking into Needless Things
whenever and however you do. Some changes are coming in the new year,
many of which have yet to be determined. I trust you’ll stick
around and see what happens. In the meantime, I wish each and every
one of you merry Christmas and happy Holidays and the very best in
the year to come.
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