Saturday
Saturday
was wide open. I didn’t have a single thing that I had to do until
the game show crew met in my room at 7 PM. Given how busy Friday had
been and how important the game show was, I wanted to relax. Granted,
that didn’t mean just sitting around the room. I wanted to visit
Artists’ Alley again and maybe hit the Walk of Fame. I also decided
pretty early on that I wasn’t going to worry about any panels other
than my own. It’s Dragon Con, and even the smallest, lowest-key
panels require around ninety minutes of your time when you factor in
travel and waiting to get in.
It’s
worth noting that I didn’t suffer any further hangover issues.
Friday was my only bad morning, though I was definitely tired the
following days. If I hadn’t been at Dragon Con, I would’ve had a
hard time getting motivated to leave the bed.
Before
I get any further, I feel like I owe some words to the magnificent
and incomparable Dragon Con Parade.
If
you haven’t seen the parade, you must
see the parade. I say it every year, but there’s nothing quite like
witnessing hundreds of people in costumes from every nook and cranny
of the geek universe walking, strutting, staggering, dancing, and in
some cases fighting their way down the streets of Downtown Atlanta.
It’s wonderful and inspiring.
Having
said that, I don’t watch the parade anymore. I did for two years in
a row and I think I’m good for a while. I’ll sit and watch parts
of it on Dragon Con TV when it’s on because I enjoy the spectacle,
as well as the hosts’ commentary, but I just can’t stand out in
the streets and watch. And God bless every single costumed lunatic
that marches in it. I can’t even begin to imagine.
So
I was starving and knew the parade wasn’t a factor in my schedule
that morning.
Speaking
of factors in my schedule, I don’t know if this is the year that
everything clicked or if I just got lucky a lot, but I spent very
little time waiting after that Thursday morning line. I feel like I
had less trouble getting around this year and that in general the
crowds were less of an issue than they’ve been in years. I have no
explanation for this other than I just have a better feel for where
to be and when. Obviously avoiding panels was a help, but even just
going to the food court or waiting for elevators – one of the worst
parts of Dragon Con – seemed like less of a hassle.
Of
course, it could also all be attributed to the fact that overall I
think I was simply in a better state of mind than I’ve ever been.
And that I can’t really explain, though I might try in the final
part of this recap.
Back
to being hungry.
I
was so hungry that I didn’t just want to eat, I feel like I needed
to be nourished. Like, I needed fuel.
Normally I eat pretty badly at Con aside from the snacks I have in
the room. But on Saturday morning I wanted no-frills sustenance.
I
have walked right by Farmer’s Basket countless times. Just the name
elicits a laugh from me – “Farmer’s Basket? That must be for
weak-stomached vegetarians whose frail bodies can’t process real
food. HAHA!” I don’t think I ever spared as much as a glance at
the place beyond recognizing the sign. But on Saturday morning they
had two very appealing things to offer – menu signs full of
vegetables and non-fried meats and a line consisting of three people.
My stomach practically dragged me over.
Once
I stepped into line I could see the actual food behind the glass
counter and the offerings weren’t quite what I was expecting. The
menu consisted mostly of Chinese food, none of which looked
particularly healthy. But they did have grilled chicken, rice, and
okra. The rice and okra were both fried, but I was too ready to eat
to quibble. And did I mention there were ONLY THREE PEOPLE in line?
I
managed to find a table fairly easily and sat down to eat. The
chicken made me nervous. It didn’t look grilled so much as boiled
and it definitely had a suspicious texture. But it was delicious and
had no negative side effects. Actually, it was all excellent and as I
ate I could almost literally feel my energy levels going up. That was
probably the best meal I’ve ever had at Dragon Con.
Oh,
yeah – another condition I suffered from Saturday morning was
feeling like I had swallowed razor blades. My voice was shot.
After two panels, three hours of calling the best wrestling in the
world, and Puppet Improv (thank goodness for mics, though) the
previous day, my throat hurt worse than it ever has. I posted about
it on Facebook and I have to give the Hero of Con award to my pal
Bambi Lynn from Radio
Cult.
She left a comment suggesting I try a mix of half apple juice and
half water. That seemed a little underwhelming as a cure, but
considering her years of performing experience I looked at her as an
authority.
Before
I went to Farmer’s Basket I bought a bottle of apple juice from
somewhere (it was surprisingly hard to find a place that carried it).
I ordered a large water with my meal and it took an awful lot of
conversation to explain that I wanted the cup half full with no ice.
The employee had to dump it out and start over again twice. That’s
probably why they charged me regular drink price for half a cup of
water.
Once
I sat down I mixed the juice and the water and drank. Much to my
surprise, my throat felt better almost instantly. I sipped the
combination over the course of the next couple of hours and by the
time I was done there was only mild irritation, easily soothed by the
cough drops I always keep on hand when I’m performing. I consider
this nothing short of a miracle and I will be eternally grateful to
the Queen of Rock for the tip.
Thusly
rejuvenated and mostly healed, I headed to Artists’ Alley to buy
some art.
Honestly,
there’s not much story between there and 7 PM. I already got
long-winded about eating and there’s an awful lot to cover about
Saturday night, so I’ll spare you the details of me buying
cheesecake Harley Quinn prints.
Several
hours later I grabbed my annual Dragon Con Checkers meal and headed
back to the room. It occurred to me that I actually had quite a few
things to do before everyone showed up for our pre-game show meeting
– I needed to organize the props and materials, make room for
everyone else’s stuff, eat dinner, and take a shower. I tend to
shower two or three times a day at Con because I am not a barbarian.
Preparation
for the show was much easier this year. We had done two rehearsals
and pretty much had the act down. As much as we wanted, anyway. I
think all of us agree that there has to be some degree of spontaneity
to live performances. I’m not interested in doing scripted stuff.
While the game show does require a certain amount of timing and
planning, the performance aspect needs to feel fresh and raw or else
there’s really no point in doing it. The main topic at the meeting
was how we were going to set up and preparing for whatever inevitable
difficulties cropped up.
And
boy, did they. But I’ll get to that.
First
let’s talk about my crew. They are phenomenal and just thinking
about working with these people makes me warm and happy. We all share
a powerful desire to entertain and each have our own perspective on
what to do and how to do it, while all contributing to the whole. The
levels and types of experience vary wildly, but we share a vision.
The talent and drive is off the charts and I scarcely believe that I
have the privilege of not just knowing, but working with this crew.
A
Brief Narrative Detour
aka
The
Adventures of Sexy Wolverine
While
the game shows – Whose
EFF Is It Anyway?
and The
Dirty Dirty Con Con Game Game Show Show
– were created by me and Miss Lady Flex and they wouldn’t and
won’t exist without both of us, after this year I feel like the
five people that made it happen are The Crew. And one of those new
Crew members is Sexy Wolverine. Now, you may know that Sexy Wolverine
was part of the show last year, but we had to find a new performer to
fill the role of announcer/crowd wrangler/co-host. There wasn’t
really any debate about who we recruited. We had already discussed
bringing her on board as of last year’s show. The question was of
what her character would be. After some discussion, I suggested that
she just be Sexy Wolverine. This was met with universal approval.
Now,
obviously there is humor inherent in a pretty lady playing Wolverine.
But I don’t think any of us were ready for who showed up Saturday
night.
I
received a text a bit before seven that said, “On my way. People
really don’t like me.”
Apparently
the Sexy Wolverine get-up was garnering looks of confusion and
outright disgust. This was Dragon Con, so I was having a little
trouble imagining anyone having problems with something as tame as a
gender-bent Logan.
Of
course, there has never been a Logan like our
Logan:
Naturally
all of us thought she looked incredible and couldn’t have been
better for the show. Plus she’s a great performer, so Sexy
Wolverine was set to be one of the most memorable parts of the Dirty
Con Game Show.
And,
as it turned out, of Dragon Con overall.
We
made two trips over to the Classics Track room. One to set up as much
as we could and one for showtime. We couldn’t get ten feet either
time without someone stopping Sexy Wolverine to get a picture. She
was literally the most popular person I have ever been at Dragon Con
with. I’ve never seen anything like it. We were very fortunate to
have Needless Things’ own Beth
V
with us helping out to keep us all together as we made our way
through the masses. Otherwise, some old dude would have probably
snatched Sexy Wolverine up and run off with her.
End
of Detour
When we got into the Marriott we saw a big line going across the Atrium level. The end was by the elevators closest to the sky bridge. We wondered what it was for - most of the big stuff was upstairs. As we approached the Track room something became clear. This was our line.
I did my best to get a picture, but it's hard to get a picture of a huge line. I had a game show to get to, so I couldn't very well run upstairs. From the left to right of this picture and far beyond on both sides, this was the line for our show.
The
Dirty Dirty Con Con Game Game Show Show faced some challenges. I
cannot emphasize enough that the room we were in was not sufficient
to handle the audio/visual/performance presentation we had ready, nor
the crowd that showed up to see it. I would guess that we turned away
150 potential audience members and I was told that others waited in
line for half an hour or more just to get in to see the final portion
of the show.
During
setup we had a tremendous amount of trouble working with the
antiquated audio system. This is not a fault on anyone’s part –
the system was fine for what the room is used for throughout the day.
But we needed a minimum of four wireless mics for our show and could
not connect them to what was available. Then, just before showtime,
the mics that we did have stopped working. As near as we can figure
the audio system would not allow us to play prerecorded sound and use
the mics at the same time. So we performed the entire show without
mics.
This
was a problem for two reasons – 1) It killed our voices and
eliminated a certain amount of spontaneity. When you have to strain
to make yourself heard, you are much more conservative about what you
say. I know I threw away some potentially funny lines because I
didn’t want to shout; and 2) Not having mics dispelled our presence
a bit. Everyone else in the room was just as loud as we were, so we
didn’t have quite the commend of the audience that we should have.
I’m
not trying to gripe or make things out to be awful, but these are
things that happened and they definitely affected the show.
Regardless
of that we had a fantastic time and, more importantly, the audience
had a fantastic time. I cannot even begin to describe the warmth that
I still feel from the pure joy of working with these people. And
believe me – I’m doing everything I can to hang onto it. If all
goes as planned, The
Dirty Dirty Con Con Game Game Show Show
will be back long before Dragon Con 2016. We want to take this thing
on the road. So if you have a local con that you think would be a
good fit, let them know and let us know. There are some criteria to
consider, though:
*A
con that prides itself on being family-friendly is probably not going
to be interested in us.
*The
con probably needs to take place in a hotel, as convention center
cons probably don’t feature evening entertainment.
*We
need functional audio equipment (haha).
Side
Note: Also, if you were at Dragon Con, please go into the app and
rate the show and mention in the notes that we need a bigger room. I
don’t find the audio stuff to be worth mentioning because if we can
get into a ballroom for next year it will be equipped with what we
need.
I
almost didn’t even mention the negative stuff because overall the
game show was so
amazing
and is the highlight of my performing life, but that stuff happened.
I would have felt weird leaving it out.
The
very best part is that we all hung out after the show. We went back
to my room and had some adult beverages and talked about the show,
then ventured forth – still in costume – to enjoy Dragon Con. And
enjoy it we did. It didn’t even really matter what we were doing,
we were having fun and decompressing as a group after the show. It
was by far the best time I’ve had just wandering around aimlessly.
Well, mostly
aimlessly. There was that sick room party in the Marriott 603.
But
I can’t talk about that.
Sunday
Alright,
people – I’m going to have to power on through this thing, so
hang in there. Dragon Con was technically a week late this year, so I
don’t have the amount of time I normally have to spread these
long-winded recaps out. That’s okay, because there are only a few
things to cover about Sunday and Monday was just getting up and going
home.
After
running around all weekend and missing him a couple of times at his
table, I finally got to meet Scott Thompson. I told him that having
grown up in the American South I had been exposed to certain
preconceptions about homosexuality and the flood of prejudices that
go along with them. Buddy Cole and other characters that he had
portrayed had opened a sort of door in my mind and led to my eventual
acceptance of different lifestyles, something that wouldn’t have
happened in the school and other environments that I was in. I also
told him that his comedic style and character work had been hugely
influential on my desire to perform and the way that my creative mind
had developed.
Of
course, Mr. Thompson was higher than giraffe pussy, so he just smiled
politely and we got a nice picture:
I
am glad that I wore the full-on Phantom get-up for this one.
My
final panel of the weekend was at 4 PM in the Classics Track room. It
was called Sci-Fighters and featured a sort of tournament between
characters from GI Joe and Masters of the Universe. The audience
helped to select the participants and the eventual winner. It was
another fun, highly interactive panel of the sort that I and the rest
of the Classics Track Irregulars specialize in.
I
was the first panelist to arrive, so I sat down on the right side of
the table to wait for everyone else. I had no idea who else was going
to be on this one, but I never sit in the center unless the panel is
specifically mine.
The
start time drew closer and nobody else was showing up. I wasn’t too
worried about running the panel myself if I had to, but I wasn’t
exactly expecting that, either. Gnoll from Dork
Droppings
had originally been scheduled, but he had a GI Joe photoshoot. While
this had been the case since long before Con, I wasn’t sure if Joe
and Gary knew that. So I got my stuff together and prepared to start.
And
then, just in the nick of time, Gary walked in. I have to admit to
being relived. While I could
have handled it, I preferred not to. And then, just after the nick of
time, Joe came in as well.
Silly
things happened like Baroness assassinating Snout Spout and the Ice
Cream Soldier to take a slot and Zartan and Man-E-Faces being unable
to find one another and both getting eliminated, allowing He-Man a
pass into the next round. IT was chaotic and somewhat intense (in a
good way) because everyone had their favorite characters and was way
into them progressing. A lot of serious nerd thought went into the
thing, and I’m proud to have had a hand in prompting that.
As
I mentioned on the Needless
Things Podcast,
the panel was a “had to be there” kind of thing. It was a whole
lot of fun and everyone in the room had a blast, but I’m not sure
if it would really be fun for a podcast episode. I do have the
recording, though, and someday it may find its way onto the show.
Later
in the evening was the Needless Things Meet-Up/Rad Ranger Birthday
Bash. Sean had no idea that we were planning it, but before Dragon
Con I had gotten together with our mutual friend, Jesica, and made
cake plans. So when we arrived at the Hilton pool she was there with
a cake and everyone sang happy birthday. And to those of you that
showed up, you have my deepest, most sincere thanks for taking the
last of those Needless Things t-shirts off of my hands.
Seriously,
though – thanks for coming out. I wish I could have spent more time
with everyone, but that’s just how Dragon Con goes.
Afterward
we made arrangements to hit the Puppet Slam because there’s no way
a Dragon Con is complete without seeing the Puppet Slam. I’m
posting a full separate review later this week, but here are some
general thoughts:
I
went with Oz and Sean and as we got to the top of the Hyatt steps a
voice called out, “Phantom!” and it was Mark Meer in a fantastic
jacket. Voice actor and improviser Mark Meer, who is always one of
the highlights of the shows I’ve seen him in. He complimented me on
my performance at Puppet Improv and both my heart and my head grew
three sizes. And then we hung out and talked for a while and then
walked into the Puppet Slam. With Mark Meer.
Leslie
Carrera-Rudolph was entertaining the crowd while the room was filling
up and I got to talk to her a bit more about my part in Puppet
Improv on Friday night.
She told me I did a great job and I thanked her again for making it
such an incredible experience. I wouldn’t mention her saying I did
a great job except for the fact that I don’t think she’s the sort
of person that would tell me that if I hadn’t
done a great job. So that was a wonderful little denouement to
Friday’s excitement.
Look
– I know you guys are probably rolling your eyes at my talking
about these folks complimenting me, but after stifling the urge to
perform for over three decades of my life because I spent the first
two being told it was stupid and pointless, it’s so validating to
get positive feedback about doing it. At this point in my life it’s
not something I can pursue as a career, but one night of performance
brings me more satisfaction than anything that will ever happen at my
day job. I just passed the ten year mark there and they didn’t even
mention it. So yeah – I’m enjoying every bit of praise I can get
from people that I actually respect.
As
far as the show itself, it was fantastic. There was an experimental
feel this year that I thoroughly enjoyed. The show as a whole was
massively entertaining and there wasn’t one act that I would call a
bathroom break. I’ll get more detailed in the review, but Kathleen
and Peter David’s The
Cad in the Hat
won my Best in Show.
Dragon
Con 2015 was incredible in every way. I'm still buzzing from it weeks
later. I don't have a particularly clever way to wrap this up, so
I'll just say thank you to everyone that had anything to do with it
and I'll see you all next year, with bigger and better everything.
No comments:
Post a Comment