Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Dragon Con 2015: Beth's Recap Part 2

I got a bit of a late start on Saturday because I planned on spending the night, and wanted to conserve my energy. I know myself well enough to know that I'd be up until some ungodly hour, and likely drinking some of that time. I was still feeling pretty good at this point, and I kind of wanted to keep it that way. Airborne may have saved my health this weekend. I also don't go to the parade anymore because I simply can't take those crowds. Since it's the only thing that you can do without a badge it's way more crowded than it used to be. I've also been to the parade a bunch of times over my Dragon Con years so I didn't feel super compelled to get up at the crack of dawn to wade through the masses when I would be there all day anyway. If you haven't been to the parade before though I highly recommend it. Especially if you aren't going to make it to the rest of the con weekend.

Only masks get to sit in Phantom's room
Thanks to the crowds, the heat, and my luggage I was drenched in sweat by the time I made it to Phantom's room at the Hilton. And speaking of luggage - I know space is tight, but let's all try to practice a little situational awareness people. If you see someone dragging a rolling suitcase and carrying a giant Tupperware bin maybe don't knock them out of your way. And don't act like it's my fault if you trip over my suitcase. Just don't be a dick. I know it's hard for some of you, but try. Seriously though, Saturdays are getting out of hand. After dropping off my crap and cooling down at the Hilton for a few minutes I headed to the Sheraton for another Brit Track panel. This time it was Red Dwarf. I have loved that show since I first saw it in the early 90's, and I love that other people love it too. I was hoping this panel would be better than the two fan panels I had seen yesterday. It's fine if you don't have celebrities, but you need to have some mildly interesting panelists. Put a little "oomph" in it or something. We ate at the Sheraton again because they still really had their shit together with the food. After food it was time to make our way up to the Brit Track room. I was hopeful when I saw how many people were lined up for the panel. Unfortunately, it didn't deliver. They didn't have an agenda or talking points. They just started talking back and forth with each other and the audience. I can sit around with a group of my friends and talk about Red Dwarf with far less hassle so they didn't really motivate me to want to go to another fan panel at Dragon Con. Maybe the people at this panel don't have as many nerdy friends as I do so this could have been the only place for them to have this kind of a discussion. That's all well and good, but you have to be able to interest a fairly broad audience to have a successful fan panel.
I made it extra large so you go get full view of all the jerks, I mean Deadpools
Once back at the Hilton I was feeling a lil' woozy (which is also my rap name) from mild dehydration and the "crowd sweats". That's what I call it when the press of people gets so tight I start feeling panicky. And I'm not sure if I should give this secret away, but the game room at the Hilton is the best place to grab some air conditioning and a chair for a little while. I kind of wanted to try out the Firefly board game, but there wasn't time for all that. On the way upstairs I found what I think is the hole in the universe where all of the Deadpool's cross into our dimension. Or maybe it was simply the Deadpool cosplayers meet-up. I just know that if I had blown that place up there would have been a lot fewer annoying Deadpools the rest of the weekend. It's not that I don't like Deadpool, it's more that I don't like how Deadpool cosplayers think that their costume gives them a golden ticket to be a jerk. By this time it was time to change out of my sweaty clothes and get ready to carry stuff over to the Marriott for the Dirty Con Game Show. I wasn't involved in the show, but had volunteered to help set up since I wouldn't even be an official Dragon Con reporter without Phantom. There were six of us sitting around Phantom's room in various degrees of getting ready. With precious little seating space in his room I found it funny that the only comfy chair was covered in masks. Two of us were sitting on the floor, but the masks were spread out almost luxuriously rubbing their comfort in our faces. When we got down to the room the Match Game in the 25th Century with Gil Gerard (Buck Rogers) was wrapping up. I wish I'd had time to see it because he had gotten John Barrowman and Sylvester McCoy to be a part of it as well. At least I got to see John Barrowman up close for a minute. After various technical difficulties the hosts needed to change into their costumes so we'll fast forward through the hour of giggling and drinking that went into that to go back to the Marriott for show time.
Miss Lady Flex saves Phantom from the diabolical Kevin
I think we were all pretty stunned when we saw the line for the show. Phantom got a picture of it that I assume he'll be using in his wrap up so you'll just have to imagine it until you get to my shot of the actual crowd in the room. As many people as were packed into that room I know there were a bunch that had to be turned away. Sorry. If you were one of the unfortunates who didn't make it in please go on the official Dragon Con app and let them know the need for a bigger room next year. I honestly can't even describe how hilarious and life ruining it was. Mainly because it was so filthy that I hesitate to talk about it here. I know I use some salty language, but this was at Dead Sea levels my friends. Just to give you an idea: someone gave a dramatic reading of erotic fiction based on Manimal. Phantom recorded the whole thing so you'll be able to watch it here soon I'm sure.

Suffice it to say that it went really well, and celebrations ensued. I got to tag along to said celebrations, chit chat with people, and have it generally assumed that I contributed something to the show. I didn't, but I did get to hand out a ton of Needless Things business cards so that Phantom's investment there wasn't wasted. After accidentally bothering this poor woman who was supposedly throwing an awesome party (she wasn't) we wound up at the Middle Earth 90's dance party. It was weird, and I saw way more Jedi than Hobbits so we just went back to the Pulse bar. I wish we'd gone to the Dilithium Crystal Ball; the name was probably better than anything else though. The Pulse bar is the place for people watching pretty much all weekend. The only time I could even get to the bar to order a drink all weekend was Sunday afternoon. Celebrations indeed lasted until an ungodly hour, and my rather poor food to alcohol ratio left me feeling a lil' woozy in a different way Sunday morning. The two meal minimum suggested by the organizers is for your own good my friends. Stay tuned for the Sunday wrap up featuring the best panel I saw all weekend.
Standing room only at the Dirty Con Game Show. Fire Marshalls be damned!


Beth got her start writing for a site called Movie Criticism for the Retarded (which has been revived as dorkdroppings.com. Check it out sometime), but was pulled out of an early retirement to write for Needless Things. When she isn't writing she plays video games and watches bad horror movies while eagerly awaiting the zombie apocalypse. She may try to save her husband and/or their cats, but luckily hasn't had to make those tough decisions yet.

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