I am not, technically, back from vacation yet. But we
went and saw Jurassic World last
night and I had to write about it.
The Jurassic Park
movies aren’t quite as dear to me as they seem to be to other people. They’re
pretty good movies about dinosaurs and about man messing around with stuff best
left to God, but they didn’t touch my soul in any meaningful way.
I don’t think the sequels really touched anyone’s soul, but that first movie
seems to be held pretty sacred by a large number of people; especially those
around a decade younger than me. And I will give them this – Jurassic Park is a way better Spielberg
movie to hang your youth on than one about a brown nutsack from outer space. So
you guys win that one.
Those.
Fucking. Kids.
So annoying.
But we’re not here to talk about the original movie. I
only bring it up because there are an awful lot of similarities between Jurassic World and its progenitor. And
I’m not just talking about kids with family issues and scenes where dinosaur
eyeballs are peeking into hidey-holes full of terrified humans.
For those of you who would like a spoiler-free review of
this new sure-to-make-billions blockbuster, here you go:
The dinosaur parts are incredible. This movie was made by people who fucking love dinosaurs and, perhaps more significantly, fucking love Jurassic Park. It occurred
to me over and over again while watching that the creators were determined to
give us our dream dinosaur scenarios. You will get everything you ever wanted
that the original Jurassic Park
movies didn’t quite deliver. This is over-the-top, gonzo dinosaur action.
While I’m on the topic, much of the dinosaur action is
quite violent and there are a ton of fairly brutal human deaths. We brought our
seven-year-old son and I’m honestly not sure we should’ve. I mean, he loved the
movie and seemed totally fine afterward, but I was concerned. There’s blood
spatter and dudes getting chomped in half and stuff. It’s not The Walking Dead bad, but it’s much more
intense than I was expecting.
There is, however, much less foul language and adult
content than the Transformers movies.
So there’s that, I guess.
You know how Chris Pratt is the focus of the trailers for
Jurassic World? I think that was a
smart move because everybody loves Chris Pratt. It enhanced the concept of a
movie that just can’t seem as special as its predecessors because at this point
in cinematic history audiences have seen bigger and better CGI than these
dinosaurs.
Chris Pratt is not a reason to see this movie. None of
the human characters are. Just take a look at the non-LEGO toy lines to see how
much importance is placed on the humans. Go for the dinosaurs. Enjoy the
dinosaur mayhem. Just know that you are not getting Peter Quill or Andy Dwyer
or Emmet. Any actors could have played any of the roles in this movie, save
one. And I’ll talk about him after the Spoiler Warning.
Side Note; I do want to acknowledge Jake
Johnson for having the funniest moments in the movie and stealing every scene
he’s in. His chemistry with Vincent D’Onofrio is hilariously awkward. I could
watch the two of them interact for a whole movie. I’ve seen Johnson in a few
things and he’s always strong.
Speaking of CGI, it looks like CGI looks. No CGI will
ever be as good as Jurassic Park
because we’re all used to it now and what it looks like and what it can do. But
the visuals are about as good as they get and there were very few points where
I thought about the fact that what I was looking at was not real. The action is
fast-paced and fun, so you don’t really look for the flaws.
As flat as the characters are, I liked the story. During
the first half hour of the movie I had an overwhelming feeling of, “They did it”. If you don’t know, the
premise is that a rich Arab investor has gotten Isla Nublar up and running,
rebranded as “Jurassic World”. The disasters of twenty years ago are largely
forgotten and the theme park is a worldwide phenomenon. It is, however,
struggling a bit as the public is no used to the idea of dinosaurs and wants
bigger and better things. This, of course, leads to problems.
Well, a problem.
If you’ve been following the marketing at all, you already know about Indominus
Rex. Allow me to ease your fears about what could have potentially been a lame
and franchise-killing bit of enhancement: the creators knew exactly what they were doing by
introducing this genetically-engineered new monster and everything about it is
totally satisfying and ingenious. Indominus is not only a great addition to the
plot, it establishes a new paradigm and a future for the franchise. She has her
own story within the narrative and it is quite poignant and satisfying.
Overall this is a fantastic Summer blockbuster. It could
have been better. More work could have been put into the humans and into the
story of what has been going on with Isla Nublar for the past two decades. But
at the same time, I appreciate the pacing and the economy of storytelling.
Things move right the fuck along. Aside from a tiresome narrative about the
protagonist family of the movie, the action is fast and satisfying.
Side Note: You might notice some talk
online of sexism or gender inequality or whatever in the movie. Ignore it. It’s
the same myopic, agenda-laden dum-dum talk that all of these social justice wanks
spew at everything that comes out. I noticed a few things in Jurassic World that would make tasty, if
baseless, targets for those jackasses and they didn’t let me down.
Now it’s time for
***SPOILERS***SPOILERS***SPOILERS***
B.D. Wong is the only returning cast member (sort of) from previous
films and his Dr. Henry Wu is delightful. He is the lead geneticist and the
primary creator of Indominus Rex and also a legit
mad scientist. I suspected it early on in the film just from Wong’s
slightly sinister delivery of lines and presence, but at the end of the movie
we finally get a look into his secret laboratory and it is awesome. He has a big stack of terrariums full of his own
collection of crazy, Herbert West-style creations. We discover that he has been
working with Vincent D’Onofrio’s nefarious InGen head of security, Vic Hoskins
all along to develop dinosaurs as weapons.
THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME.
Wong does a great job being subtly diabolical and survives, hopefully to appear as a
full-blown Evil Mad Scientist in the next movie.
There will absolutely be a next movie because this thing
is going to make jillions of dollars.
The seven o’clock showing at the theater we went to was sold out and our seven
thirty showing was packed; more so than Age
of Ultron at the same theater, also on a Thursday night.
I mentioned it above, but the Indominus Rex truly is
awesome. I went in expecting a lame attempt to revitalize the franchise and was
delighted to find that it was so much more. She’s a well-crafted monster that
fits quite nicely into the established “science” of the world, especially once
we start getting to know Dr. Wu. As preposterous as this Frankenstein’s lizard
might seem, she becomes quite believable in the context of Jurassic World. All of the scenes involving Indominus are powerful
and exciting, particularly her initial encounter with the ACU (the private
military force that is employed on Isla Nublar). She’s an unstoppable force of
nature.
Well, at least until the three-way-dance between
Indominus, the Tyrannosaurus Rex (technically another returning character), and
Blue the velociraptor that is the climax of the movie. Granted, the mighty mosasaur
gets the win, but that’s more of a run-in than a victory. You may laugh at my
overuse of wrestling terminology sometimes, but this fight was straight-up like
watching Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker, with Andre the
Giant eating Lesnar for the finish.
An interesting aspect of Jurassic World is the characterization of the dinosaurs. Indominus
is a serial killer, the velociraptors are sort of anti-heroes, and the
Tyrannosaurus Rex is treated with this iconic reverence. When Bryce Dallas
Howard’s character releases the thunder lizard from her pen to battle
Indominus, they might as well have cut to Ken Watanabe saying, “Let them fight”.
The other dinosaurs are mostly portrayed as helpless
animals. One of the themes of the movie is understanding that we have created
these things and are responsible for them. I really felt something when Owen
and Claire came across the field of slaughtered bodies that Indominus had left
in her wake. Claire’s realization that these creatures aren’t just property
was, for me, the only emotionally significant point in the movie (not that
there’s anything wrong with that).
Before I forget, there was a bit where the movie
acknowledges its wanton departure from the actual science of dinosaurs. Dr. Wu
states that Isla Nublar’s inhabitants don’t reflect our modern knowledge of
what dinosaurs look like because that’s not what people want dinosaurs to look
like. It’s a nice, meta moment that lets us suspend our disbelief a little more
easily.
Yes, Jurassic World
could have been a more thoughtful movie. But it delivered a thousand
percent on the hardcore dinosaur action I was looking for. Moreover, it really
falls in line, character-wise, with the other movies. Think back to the first
one – which of those characters was truly likable? Grant was a grouch, the
kids were just awful, Hammond was a delusional megalomaniac, Malcom was an
arrogant prick, and all of the supporting staffers were jerks or too
insignificant to mention. Sattler and Arnold were the only characters with any
redeeming qualities. So at least World
didn’t throw a bunch of irritating characters at us. They’re just kind of dull.
I keep making mention of flat characters and a somewhat
shallow plot, but I don’t want you thinking I didn’t love Jurassic World. I
don’t want to understate the important fact that it did exactly what I wanted –
gave me a dinosaur-infused thrill ride that escalated every step of the way.
It’s an action movie, a horror movie, a silly pseudo-sci-fi movie, and even a
bit of a conspiracy flick, as the InGen plot is slowly revealed over the course
of the film. Yes, it could have been better. It could have presented deeper human characters and a more fleshed-out world. But I didn’t need
any of that because it gave me what none of the other Jurassic flicks have – a fully satisfying two hours of dinosaur
action. Where I felt like the other three were shy about the subject matter and
even seemed a bit self-conscious at times, World
has great, galloping fun with its engineered dinosaur concept.
No comments:
Post a Comment