Hello,
Phantom Troublemaker here. I am the owner, operator, and head writer
of the website you are currently perusing. Before I get to today’s
post, I just wanted to beg you for money.
Needless
Things – and the Needless Things Podcast – cost money to operate.
Well,
time and money. Tons of time. Way more time than money, in fact. But
I don’t mind the time. I enjoy doing this.
Money
is another thing. We have to pay for hosting for the site and the
podcast, image hosting, and all kinds of other little incidental
things that, when added up, make this whole thing highly illogical.
If
you have been enjoying Needless Things for the past few years or if
you have just now found the site thanks to my crass attempt to tie
into Avengers-mania this week, consider donating a buck or five to
the cause. My dream is to be able to produce some merch for the site
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realistic goal is just to cover operating costs.
If
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And
finance my dream project of adapting The
Texas Chain Saw Massacre
for Broadway.
We
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Growing
up I loved Batman, Spider-Man, and the X-Men. Those were my comics.
In the late eighties I added Ninja Turtles to that mix, but they
still aren’t quite
as solidly entrenched with me as those first three.
That’s
not to say that I didn’t read anything else. Due to the nature of
comic books I couldn’t help but be introduced to other characters
by way of guest appearances and crossovers. And of course, once I
really got into the hobby in the nineties I couldn’t help but learn
about pretty much all of the various superheroes and characters that
inhabited Marvel and DC’s respective universes.
The
Marvel Universe used to be a whole lot more segregated than it is
now. I started reading Marvel comic books in 1988 (I was surprised to
discover it was that late – I was already twelve) and stayed
current on Spidey and the mutant books through at
least
1994 and I don’t remember seeing Iron Man, Hawkeye, Thor, Black
Widow, or Vision pretty much ever. I went through a Hulk phase after
becoming obsessed with Peter David after his work on X-Factor,
so Hulk is a little more in my wheelhouse.
Captain
America is another story. I love Steve Rogers and I love the idea of
Captain America, but for whatever reason I never got into his comics.
He hung out with Wolverine a few times and I dug that (there was a
story where Black Widow was there, too), but for some reason I never
pursued Steve’s solo adventures. I have no idea why. Perhaps
because he did seem to be a part of this other corner of the Marvel
Universe that I didn’t delve into.
Super-Secret
Honesty Time Side Note: I have tried to like the Fantastic Four many
times. The idea appeals to me. At various points over the years I
have picked up their books. It seems – and I am not proud of this
and would never suggest that anyone should agree with me – that I
simply do not like the Fantastic Four. Almost every time I have read
it, I cannot get past the impression that Reed is a self-involved
dick, Sue is an annoying jerk, Johnny is a jackass, and I really
love Ben Grimm and empathize with him on what is, quite frankly, a
painfully emotional level. I know the whole point is supposed to be
that he was cursed while his friends got these awesome,
non-physically-deforming abilities; but it seriously makes me really
sad. Don’t tell anyone.
Perhaps
it’s time to get to the point.
It’s
pretty amazing that Marvel has constructed this cinematic universe
that has gotten me so invested in these characters on which I
previously couldn’t be bothered to spend a dollar a month. These
are some of my favorite movies. Like, ever.
I still can’t watch Captain
America
without tearing up. And while Guardians
of the Galaxy isn’t
directly Avengers-related, it ended up being a cinematic pop culture
masterpiece the likes of which I don’t think I’ve ever seen.
There
is no single element that makes these movies so special. It’s the
casting, the continuity, the “Marvel Tone” as I call it. By which
I mean that every movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe has a
lightness and hopefulness to it no matter how dark and dire the
narratives may get. The characters are bright and powerful. Plus,
every movie tends to be on the lighter end of the PG-13 scale, so
we’ve been able to enjoy all of them as a family. Yeah, there have
been a few things that I would have preferred Lil’ Troublemaker not
see. But to me the bonding that the three of us have experienced is
worth more than the occasional “shit” or, well… guy getting
chopped into oblivion by a fighter plane propeller.
I’m
still hoping that one doesn’t fully register. Is it weird that that
bothers me more than Phil Coulson being visibly impaled?
As
far as the more mature content goes, I look back at all of the things
I was seeing when I was my son’s age and how little of it I
actually understood. There have been so many movies that I’ve gone
back and watched and been shocked that my parents allowed me to see.
I saw Jaws
3D in
the theater when I was seven. That is effing crazy. It’s a wonder I
ever went in the ocean again. Oddly, I have much more of a lake
phobia. I blame Creepshow
2 for
that.
The
Marvel Cinematic Universe has given us something that has never been
seen in cinema – an interconnected world that continues to grow
exponentially. Without even getting into the television side, we now
have an established and trustworthy brand that covers an almost
unlimited number of recognizable IPs. Disney and Marvel can quite
literally make movies until the end of time. And it will take much
more than one dud to topple this cinematic empire.
Side
Note: Many seem to think – and even seem hopeful – that Ant-Man
will be the first dud. I’ll go on record now as saying that I don’t
think so. Hate me if you will, but I think there was a better chance
of that happening when Edgar Wright was still on board. I could not
ever
see his style fitting into the MCU. And yes – I know he was on
board for Ant-Man
before there even really was an MCU, but as much as I love Wright and
what he does, it doesn’t fit tonally with what Marvel is doing.
As
far as Ant-Man
as it currently exists, I think it’s going to be great. It’s not
going to make more money than Age
of Ultron,
but that’s not the expectation. I’m excited for a fresh, new
character (to the MCU). I think the people
rooting for it to fail are the ones that just want to be able to say,
“I called it! Look at me and give me page views!” and you guys
should know by now – if I’m wrong, I’ll admit that I was wrong
(but I’m not).
Age
of Ultron
certainly isn’t going to be a dud. Even if it’s the worst movie
ever, it’s going to make massive bank just because of how
established the brand is at this point. Everybody
is going to go and see this movie. We already have our tickets.
Before I touch on AoU,
let me run down the Marvel movies thus far:
Iron
Man
– I was a big fan of Jon Favreau going in to this one. Zathura
was what convinced me he would make a great superhero/sci-fi movie.
Aside from the obvious shared traits between Robert Downey, Jr. and
Tony Stark I didn’t have a whole lot of feeling about the cast and
I definitely didn’t have any particular affinity for Iron Man. I
can’t say that I was surprised at how good it was, but I was
definitely surprised by how perfect it was.
The
Incredible Hulk
– I have a lot of sentiment for the Hulk, even if I don’t count
him among my biggest comic book heroes. Like anyone from my
generation, the TV show was a big deal. And those Peter David comics
were powerful. My biggest hope for this one was that it wouldn’t be
a steaming turd like the Ang Lee movie was. And it wasn’t. I loved
this one. I thought Ed Norton played a fantastic Banner and that,
from beginning to end, we got a very solid Hulk story. One in which the Hulk simply could not be stopped. And I think that's what I love about Hulk. Plus, who
didn’t lose their shit when Robert Downer, Jr. sat down in that
bar? That made the whole dream real. Also - the Leader is still just running around out there.
Iron
Man 2
– I had huge
expectations for this movie. Favreau was returning. The whole cast
was returning. Plus Scarlet Johansson, Don Cheadle, and Sam Rockwell
(Mickey Rourke was, at that time, too much of a wild card for me to
get excited about). I loved it and still do. I cannot understand the
people who hate this one (Joss Whedon is, seemingly, among them). I
think the performances are great and the story – while all over the
place – is so much fun. I don’t know what those other people
wanted out of this one, but it delivered for me.
Thor
– I wasn’t sure about Thor.
Kenneth Branagh is not a selling point for me. I couldn’t even get
excited about Natalie Portman because I still hadn’t gotten over
her acting in the Prequels at that point. I went in not expecting
much and I left feeling satisfied. Nay, delighted. Asgard looked
amazing. And we got a powerless hero story that actually worked –
we got to see a fully powered Thor kicking ass in the beginning, so
we didn’t have to sit around for eighty minutes waiting for him to
pick up Mjolnir. It was an effective narrative. Looking back, this
isn’t my favorite of the movies, but it’s still very good.
Captain
America: The First Avenger
– This one, however, is my favorite. I was raised by a military
man. My father loves this country and all of the best things that it
stands for. And everything about this one is
America. There is not one second of apology – it’s a celebration
of the greatness of this country and the men and women that fight for
it. And it’s also an amazing story of the underdog that will never
quit and that always does what’s right. I cherish every second of
this movie (even the propeller decimation). To me, this felt like a
wonderful throwback to Indiana
Jones
and other great adventure movies that we just don’t see enough of
anymore.
The
Avengers
– I mentioned this at the time, but initially I didn’t think that
Joss Whedon was the guy for this one. I love
Joss Whedon, but I never allow fandom to blind me to the fact that
not everyone I love is right for everything. As brilliant as Whedon
is, I didn’t see his niche quirkiness working with a group of
personalities like the Avengers. I didn’t think it would be as bad
as Bendis writing them or anything, but he just didn’t seem like
the best fit. And boy was I wrong as wrong can be. The
Avengers
is an incredible movie that we have watched as a family more than any
other. Of course the relationships are perfect, but the narrative is
so good and it flows so smoothly. This thing delivers in every
possible way.
Iron
Man 3
– What a heavy burden this movie had. After a year of no Marvel
movies (gasp!), Shane Black was expected to deliver the next chapter.
And not just the next chapter of Tony Stark’s saga. The
Avengers
had sealed the deal – the world at large now fully grasped the size
and import of the term “Marvel Cinematic Universe”. So Iron
Man 3
was following up one of the biggest and most universally loved movies
ever released. It did that in the smallest-scale and most satisfying
– and unexpected – way possible. It took Tony’s armor away and
explored his character. And was an absolute success. We saw a
shell-shocked Tony Stark recover from the Battle of New York and
evolve into a different man. This wasn’t so much the beginning of
Phase Two as it was the epilogue to Phase One. I admit to having been
a little disappointed by that, but at the same time it’s a very
satisfying movie (that still stands on its own).
Thor:
The Dark World
– I was super stoked about this movie. To me, the first Thor
had been all about promise and potential. The world beyond the
Rainbow Bridge had so many possibilities. I was dying to see more of
Asgard and all of the other realms, not to mention those wonderful
characters that the first movie had introduced and demanded I fall in
love with. I was thoroughly happy with The
Dark World.
The burden that the post-Avengers
movies must deal with is that nothing can eclipse the Chitauri
invasion. The writers can’t rely on a huge event to sell the drama
so they have to create great stories and great characters. I feel
like that was done here. Yeah, at the end you do have to wonder why
nobody else showed up to help fight Malekith in the climax, but
whatever.
Captain
America: The Winter Soldier
– I can’t love it as much as the first Cap movie, but what a
masterpiece. It delivered in every possible way. Additionally, it
managed to feel very insular while still maintaining a presence in
the MCU. The events were Cap and S.H.I.E.L.D. problems, as
world-threatening as they were. There was no point where it felt like
Thor should show up and hit something with Mjolnir, though I still
find Hawkeye’s absence to be odd. Poor Hawkeye.
Guardians
of the Galaxy
– It’s not technically as much a part of the ongoing narrative,
but I can’t very well skip over it. There was no way that this
movie was going to do anything other than disappoint me. My love of
James Gunn has been growing ever since the first live action
Scooby-Doo
movie (he wrote that). Every successive project has been bigger and
better and the man seems to have a direct line into my pop culture
taste. The cast was superb. All of the sneak peeks set an irreverent
tone that had me clapping my hands in anticipation. And once we
finally saw actual footage of the sets and planets… FUCK. I always
try to clamp down on my expectations so as to not be disappointed,
but I couldn’t help going into Guardians
expecting one of the most wonderful movies I had ever seen. And the
motherfucker over delivered. I still have trouble wrapping my brain
around how not only incredible, but universally
loved
this movie is.
Side
Note: I own a dancing Baby Groot. It’s not actually a great toy. It doesn’t dance all that well and the mechanics are way
too loud and the music is even more way too loud to try and cover up
the outrageously loud mechanics. But I had to have it. Not because
it’s baby Groot. Because it stands for a perfect moment in
cinematic history. A moment where the entire
world
was on the same page and getting teary-eyed because we were all so
happy that Groot was okay and dancing. I
am fucking tearing up right now just thinking about it.
We all felt the exact same way about the exact same thing. James Gunn
created a moment of perfect harmony and that sort of thing doesn’t
happen all the time. Or at all, really.
And
finally that brings me to Age
of Ultron,
which I honestly don’t have much to say about. Whedon proved he was
The Man with The
Avengers,
which is actually the only thing that this movie has going against
it. The first one was so
damned good
that I’m actually having a little trouble imagining how this one
can follow it. But the advantage it has is the separation that the
Phase Two movies provide. We’re not going directly from Avengers
to Age
of Ultron.
We have three movies’ worth of character growth, world-building,
and story in between them. Not to mention Guardians,
which was a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster of a palate cleanser. So
while AoU
is a follow-up, it isn’t a direct
follow-up. It’s another link in the chain, another chapter of the
ongoing story. This one just happens to have all of the primary
protagonists in it. So in a way, expectations have been managed a
bit.
That’s
not to say that I think anyone is expecting anything less than an
absolute blockbuster the likes of which this world has never seen.
I’m just saying that we’ve been eased into it a bit more than has
ever happened before. This blockbuster has a foundation unequaled by
any other movie. Not even the James Bond franchise can boast the same
kind of world building and continuity that Age
of Ultron
has going for it.
I
don’t have any reservations about going into this expecting the
world. And as much as we’ve seen thanks to the trailers, I still
have far more questions than I have for any of the previous Marvel
movies.
How
did Ultron come about?
How
does Strucker fit into this?
What’s
the deal with Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver?
Why
is Hulk fighting the Hulkbuster armor?
Did
Banner even know Tony made
Hulkbuster armor and if so how does he feel about it?
Is
there Thorbuster armor?
How
did we get from Tony blowing up all of the suits to having new suits?
How
much of a role will War Machine play?
No
Loki? Really?
Where
the heck does Vision even come from?
Where
is all of this happening? What are all of these places?
Watching
the trailer again just makes me realize how little I actually know.
And I can’t wait to find out – with my family – on Thursday
night.
If
you want the real
scoop on the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I highly recommend you tune
in to Earth Station MCU
every week to hear speculation and analysis on every corner of
Marvel’s media empire. It’s a show that I would love to be on
more, but now that our own NeedlessThings Podcast
is (mostly) weekly, I just don’t have the time.
Also,
you should buy some Marvel movies and help out Needless Things!:
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