The
Enterprise from Star
Trek: The Next Generation
is 642.5 meters long. That’s crazy. It’s friggin’ huge.
That’s over twice as long as the original Enterprise.
Let
me put this in layman’s terms for you:
If
you had a stick that was a meter long, you’d need six
hundred and forty one
more of them, plus another one that was half a meter long, to run
your sticks the length of the Enterprise. And good luck laying sticks
down in a straight line in outer space.
Side
Note: I stole that whole concept from a Dennis Miller bit where he
explained the national debt.
I
think the badness of episodes that revolve around Worf’s asshole
kid is self-explanatory. I think I don’t care for Holodeck episodes
because I feel like if you want to tell a story that takes place in
1930s New York, maybe you go and write it for another show. Also,
it’s not like “The City on the Edge of Forever”, where the
original crew actually
went to 1930s New York and there were stakes. This is fake New York,
where nothing that happens matters.
And
yeah – I know that these are all about character development and
exploring different themes and blah, blah, blah. I’m just trying to
nail down the reason that most Holodeck episodes annoy me.
But
that’s really neither here nor there, because the Holodeck has
nothing
to do with today’s review, which is of one of the things from
Diamond Select Toys that’s too nice to be a toy but too fun to be a
model and too affordable to be a replica.
DST’s
Starship Legends line has been going strong since 2002, with the
initial release of the Enterprise NX-01 from Enterprise.
The first one I purchased was the Wrath
of Khan
Enterprise and I was very impressed by the features and the materials
used. The same goes for the next one, the Klingon Bird of Prey.
They’re beautiful, highly detailed pieces that are worth every
penny of the price.
The
Starship Legends series has, so far, seen the release of every major
iteration of the Enterprise as well as a few other vessels. Out of
what’s currently available I most want the First
Contact
Enterprise. As far as what has yet to be made, I (and likely most
other collectors) and anticipating the USS Reliant. I can’t imagine
there’s a much higher profile non-Enterprise ship than that. Not in
Starfleet’s fleet, anyway.
Due
to its size and features, the TNG
Enterprise was a little pricier than other releases. I had the barest
moment of hesitation when ordering it and if I hadn’t been in the
thick of my Netflix binge I might have balked a bit more. But my
level of TNG
fever made this a must-have.
It
was first released in 2009 and was reissued in 2013. I have a great
deal of admiration for the fact that DST keeps these in circulation
according to demand rather than letting snipers profit hundreds of
dollars per unit. I’d pay good money to see the look on some
dirtbag scalper’s face when he sees that DST is reissuing some item
that he’s sitting on dozens of.
First
Glance
Each
of the Starship Legends comes in a neat cut-out window box. They look
nice in the box, but are beautiful once you get them out. This
Enterprise is no exception. Not only can you see all of the detail
much more clearly once its unboxed, the sheer size of the thing is
much more apparent.
You
might notice that the box pictures aren’t on my usual purple
starfield. That’s because my son and I couldn’t wait to open it
up and check it out.
Packaging
It’s
so simple, but the idea to cut the window of the box in the shape of
the starship inside was ingenious. It gives the box itself a lot more
character than a square window or a flap, and it also highlights the
starship inside. It feels like they want to show off the product.
There
is a well-written bio on the back that covers not only this
Enterprise, but the history of the franchise.
Looks
Aside
from the Starfleet markings and the little black lines – are those
windows, or what? - every bit of detail on this vessel is sculpted;
every port, panel, and protrusion.
The
plastic is rigid and durable. I’m not saying this thing would
survive a drop from six feet to concrete, but it feels sturdier than
a lot of toys I’ve bought in the past couple of years. The
translucent portions on the nacelles also seem a little tougher than
that sort of plastic tends to be. Over the years I’ve seen so many
parts like that end up cracked from being tapped or hit just the
wrong way. These pieces don’t feel that brittle to me. Time will
tell, I suppose.
Obviously
the proportions of this starship are correct in relation to itself,
though it is not in scale with the other Starship Legends. It would
have cost three times as much if it had been. While I do love proper
scaling within a line, I understand limitations. I’m perfectly
happy with a Millennium Falcon that’s only a little longer than my
X-Wings because I don’t want a Corellian freighter the size of my
couch. The same applies to this Star Trek line. Plus, if you looks at
the media the replica ships that tend to be sitting around in offices
and whatnot tend to be same-sized rather than scaled.
All
of the lines are well defined and clean. Once you get up close it’s
really staggering how much is going on with this sculpt. The base
color doesn’t highlight the fine details, but they’re really
impressive:
DST
went to great lengths to create something that really feels true to
the Enterprise. I particularly like the depth of the ridge that runs
around the outside perimeter of the saucer and the secondary hull. It
could have just been paint, but it’s a nice trench. It gives the
profile a lot more character. It’s also present on the connection
point for the saucer section.
The
paint is applied precisely across the whole vessel. All of the
markings and panels and whatever else got an app are so clean and
well-placed it’s incredible. It’s such a well done deco that I
can’t even picture there being slop or an off-center app.
The
one issue I have with this Enterprise is the paint on the main
deflector dish array. It looks perfectly fine with the lighting off,
but once you activate the lights some minor spots become apparent.
It’s not a big deal and it doesn’t bother me too
much. It only stood out because the rest of the ship is so flawless.
Accessories
The
Enterprise comes with two stands – a short one and a taller one.
They’re molded from rigid black plastic with enough give to not
scare you when you’re assembling them. The bases are Starfleet
Insignia, which is common throughout the line. The point of
attachment is a peg mounted on a ball joint so that the ship can be
angled.
Either
stand can be used in any of the three peg holes on the ship – two
on the secondary hull and one on the saucer section.
Fun
For
a big piece of plastic shaped like a stove element, this thing is a
lot of fun.
There
are seven light-up elements on the ship. They don’t provide enough
illumination to photograph in the dark (not for an amateur like me,
anyway), but they are bright and look nice. There is a button on the
top of the secondary hull to activate the lights which, if pressed
all the way, will leave them on. The button on top of the saucer
section also activates the lights, but in concordance with the sound.
There
are several different sounds, each sampled from the show. Here’s a
video:
They
sound okay in the video, but great in person. I like the selection
and I feel like they hit all the major points you might consider
essential. You can press the button once to hear one selection or
hold it down to hear them all in one shot.
And,
as you saw, the saucer section separates from the secondary hull. I
can’t even tell you how excited I was to discover this. I didn’t
know it when I bought this and it was a thrill to realize there was a
clear seam there and then to pull the saucer off. It was an even
bigger thrill to realize that the saucer is held in place by powerful
magnets (how do they work?), thusly eliminating other more unsightly
means of attachment. Pegs or latches could have made the connecting
portion of the secondary hull so ugly that it wouldn’t be worth
displaying. I can totally imagine just never taking the saucer off
due to poorly engineered connection points. But DST were ingenious
and devised a method that minimized anything that might mar the sleek
looks of the Enterprise D. The only things there are the electrical
connectors that power the lights on the saucer.
This
starship is so much fun. I have
to pick it up every time I see it. Whether it’s to activate the
lights or sounds, pull the saucer off, or just fly it around for a
second. This is a fantastic toy.
And durable enough that I’d let my seven year old son play with it
unsupervised (not his friends, though).
Overall
Since
I opened the box I have spent more time looking at and playing with
this starship than any toy since 2013’s Castle Grayskull. It’s a
gorgeous recreation of an icon of my youth. If you have any love for
Star
Trek: The Next Generation,
you owe it to yourself to hunt down this excellent DST release.
5
out of 5
I
feel like I’ve been doling out too many perfect scores lately.
Maybe it’s my optimistic outlook and general good mood about 2015.
Maybe there have just been some darn good toys coming out. Either way
I think I need to make a conscious effort to review something
questionable soon.
In
the meantime, why not treat yourself to an Enterprise and treat
Needless Things to a little payola?:
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