Needless
Things & Zenescope Entertainment
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If
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and visit Needless Things, you could win a Wonderland prize pack from
Zenescope, which includes:
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*One
Grimm Fairy Tales: Wonderland board game
*A
trade paperback collection of the Wonderland
comic book from Zenescope Entertainment
Just
send an e-mail to phantomtroublemaker@gmail.com
with the subject “Winter Wonderland” telling us one item you
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wild world of Wonderland.
Be
sure to include your name, phone number (in case we need to contact
the winner), and mailing address.
Contest
runs now through midnight on December 13th,
2014. One entry per individual.
*****
 |
| Yeah. Never gonna have one of those. |
Can
I write a whole post about one song?
I
dunno, but I’m gonna. If there’s any one song that I, personally,
think calls for it, it’s this one.
Faith
No More is my favorite band of all time. If you want some history,
you can jump to the end of this where I’ve reposted a thing I wrote
five years ago. I stuck it down there because this post is about
“Motherfucker”, not my personal history as a fan of Faith No
More.
Although
that, obviously, plays into it.
Aside
from just being a big deal to me, personally, the release of
“Motherfucker” is huge because it is the first new material from
Faith No More in seventeen
years.
Even though the possibility of new music first arose five years ago,
I don’t think I believed it would ever really happen. The band
toured briefly here, played a ton of festivals in places that are not
America (understandable given their international popularity), and
started selling merchandise again. But talk of a new album – or new
anything – didn’t happen.
The
band had been playing the new song for around a year, but I had never
sought it out because I don’t want to hear new Faith No More via
somebody’s shitty cell phone recording at a live concert. And this
article was the first real confirmation I saw that the new song was,
indeed, part of a new album.
I’ll
be honest – I was scared to listen to it. When Faith No More’s
output seemingly ended back in 1998, it ended on the highest note
possible. Album
of the Year
was fantastic. So when the band called it quits, there wasn’t one
piece of their work in the Patton years that was anything less than
great; let alone bad. Everything available was a perfect legacy.
Faith No More was done, and they managed to leave without descending
into the types of embarrassing territory that the Red Hot Chili
Peppers and Metallica did.
But
this new song was full of possibility. It was possible that it would
bring relief and excitement – Faith No More was back and still
doing things that were interesting and exciting. Pushing boundaries.
Making music that was unique.
It
was also possible (though admittedly unlikely) that the new song
would be “Aeroplane” or, well, anything off of Load
(aptly titled) or Reload.
I didn’t really believe
that this would be the case, but it was certainly in the back of my
mind.
But
I was still incredibly excited about the track, to the point where I
got involved with Record Store Day and the Black Friday event and did
this
episode of the Needless Things Podcast.
This all came about because the first official release of the song
was going to be via 7” record available on Black Friday. I wasn’t
able to get one, which is driving me nuts because the B-side is a
remix of the song by J.G. Thrilwell.
Even
though we wouldn’t be able to buy
the song until November 28th,
the Rolling Stone article did have it embedded.
I
waited to listen to “Motherfucker” until I was at home with
nobody around and could put my headphones on. So while Mrs.
Troublemaker was at work and Lil’ Troublemaker was at school, I put
those Turtle Beach headphones on, pulled up the website, and clicked
the triangle.
https://soundcloud.com/ipecacrecordings/faith-no-more-motherfucker
I’ll
admit that I was not exactly blown away the first time. Or the
second. “Motherfucker” is not an energetic, fist-pumping,
anthemic song. It didn’t have me nodding me head along or thinking
about which wrestler might use it as entrance music.
But
none of that is what Faith No More does best, and I hadn’t been in
the frame of mind to receive a new dose of what Faith No More does
best in eighteen years. Now that I’ve listened to this song… I
don’t know how many times now, it is absolutely what Faith No More
does best.
They
do fast-paced metal songs. They do weird, jazz-infused screaming
sessions. They do soulful ballads and incredible covers. But what
they do best
is create songs that nobody but Faith No More could create. Songs
that may take a couple of listens to catch hold, but that remain
lodged in your consciousness once they do. Faith No More creates
songs in almost the way that William S. Burroughs created prose –
taking disparate elements and fusing them into a unique,
unforgettable whole.
“Motherfucker”
is absolutely a Faith No More song, and a very good one. I’m not
going to go so far as to call it great because it’s a bit too
(intentionally) gimmicky for that, but it’s been rolling around in
my head even when I haven’t been listening to it and it’s a
damned fine composition. Menacing opening tones that lead into
Patton’s mesmerizing spoken word that leads into driving beat of
the percussion that leads into guitars into those haunting, trademark
background vocals into a full-on arena rock guitar portion and then
back down to the percussion.
The
song starts very simple, builds up to something grand and huge, and
then dwindles back down to those simple beginnings again. It’s not
an anthem, but it is exactly the sort of carefully constructed
musical experience that Faith No More creates in a way that nobody
else can.
I’m
very curious to see where this song falls on the album and how it
interacts with the rest of the songs. It feels like a closing track,
but could easily be an opener or a middle. It all depends on the
construction of the album as a whole and the nature of the songs.
Roddy Bottum has been feeding bits of information about various
tracks from the new album – due out in April of next year – and
the bottom line seems to be that anything is possible, musically.
Faith No More will once again be exploring and experimenting.
I
think “Motherfucker” was the right track to release. If they had
put out a more straightforward rock tune like “Digging the Grave”
or “Collision” that might have been more viscerally satisfying,
but I think it would have ultimately been a bit disappointing. To
return seventeen years later with something that wasn’t challenging
would have signified a Faith No More different from the one we love.
To
return with a more ballad-like song would have raised suspicion (from
me, anyway) that the band had mellowed and perhaps even gone the way
of the much-lamented (also by me) Red Hot Chili Peppers. The last
thing in the world I want is a comfortable, accessible, adult
contemporary Faith No More (covers of Burt Bacharach songs
notwithstanding).
No,
Faith No More chose to return with something nobody could have
expected – something weird enough that it couldn’t be loved or
hated immediately. At least, not by any true fan of the band.
“Motherfucker” is a song that demands inspection and repeated
listening. It asks that you contend with it while at the same time
placing itself easily into the band’s eclectic library. The song
could be from Angel
Dust or
King For
A Day,
or Album
of the Year;
though I would place it most comfortably with Angel
Dust,
which is about the highest compliment I could pay to a song.
“Motherfucker”
isn’t my favorite song ever and I can’t see a day that it would
be, but what it is is a promise that Faith No More is back and that
they are still the band that I want them to be.
I
first posted this four years ago, but it’s actually a repost from
five years ago. I cleaned it up and re-re-posted it here for your
convenience. Please feel free to share your own Faith No More stories
in the comments section or by sending them to
phantomtroublemaker@gmail.com .
If
you want to read the original piece with pictures and bad grammar and
a couple of non-politically-correct word usages, you can click
here.
 |
| The set list from the night I saw them, signed by Patton |
Since
Mike Patton's long-awaited Mondo
Cane
album released today, I thought it would be appropriate to bring out
some Vintage material. Last year when I found out Faith No More was
back together I wrote this piece about how much I love them. They are
easily my favorite band of all time. Enjoy, NEXT!
I’m
going to write today about my love for Faith No More. After finding
out Saturday night that they were back together and planning a new
album, I started thinking about how I got into them and different
experiences I’ve had where their music played a part.
Faith
No More is my absolute favorite band of all time. I think Mike Patton
is one of the most talented vocalists on earth and I enjoy almost
everything he does, but his work with Roddy Bottum, Bill Gould, Mike
Bordin, Jon Hudson, and James Martin always stands out the most to
me. Mr. Bungle, Tomahawk, Fantomas, Merzbow, and the million or so
other projects Patton has been involved in are all interesting at the
very least, but Faith No More just has it.
Like
most other people, the first time I really took notice of Faith No
More was when I saw the video for “Epic”. I’m pretty sure I had
already seen the “From Out of Nowhere” video at that point, but
if you’ll remember, there was nothing all that special about that
one visually. It was basically a generic concert footage type thing
with Patton in a Body Glove, Milli Vanilli style. The video for
“Epic”, on the other hand, was a visually arresting piece with
rain and lightning, an exploding piano, and a goldfish flopping
around on the floor; which Patton would go on to imitate while
performing the song on Saturday
Night Live.
Not
to mention Patton’s t-shirt, which proclaimed there was a tractor
in his balls (again). What did this mean? It turned out it was a Mr.
Bungle shirt – which I would later own – but nobody knew what the
heck that was at the time. Plus, the song was catchy. I still think
it’s about drugs, but I guess it could be about sex, too. Or just
addiction in general. The fact that I have put any thought into it at
all just goes to show how big a deal it is - I’m not really big
into analyzing music. I tend to just sit back and enjoy it.
Next
up we had “Falling to Pieces”. This is the song that changed my
life, the one that made me run out and buy the album. “Epic” was
cool, but “Falling to Pieces” was an altogether different
experience. Not only was it one of the most distinctive songs I had
heard at that point in my life, the video was the craziest shit I had
ever seen. The exploding piano in the last video had seemed cool at
the time, but in this one everything exploded; including Mike
Patton’s head! Right after all of his skin disappeared! Singing
meat-skulls, clown suits, surgical scrubs, paint or gore or ooze,
giant hands with eyes (or mouths) in the palm - this video changed
the way I looked at the world. It redefined my boundaries of what was
acceptable and what was cool. In short, it set me down the path that
has brought me to where I am today.
The
Real Thing
– the album with “Epic” and “Falling to Pieces” – was the
first album that I felt like was mine and mine alone. None of my
friends were that into it and I didn’t care. That was almost
unheard of. We all listened to the same stuff, almost without
exception. Everybody got into metal around the same time – Anthrax,
Metallica, Megadeth – and that was pretty much all we listened to.
Granted,
I still had Licensed
to Ill
and Raising
Hell,
but rap was definitely a part-time interest. The
Real Thing
was something completely different. I listened to that album non-stop
for a long time. I know every word of every song and that is rare for
me. I was introduced to many different styles of music without even
knowing it. The cover of “War Pigs” got me into Black Sabbath
who, believe it or not, I had not even heard of until then. Who knew
Ozzy used to sing in some other band? “From Out of Nowhere” never
really grew on me, but everything else on the album is amazing.
“Surprise! You’re Dead!” is one of my favorite songs of all
time. I still get chills every time I hear that dinner bell at the
beginning. I once cut together a music video of scenes from A
Clockwork Orange
set to “Woodpecker From Mars”. “Edge of the World” was the
first song I ever felt dirty listening to. Every song on The
Real Thing
has a specific meaning and set of images in my head.
I
remember how exciting it was hearing that Faith No More was going to
be on Saturday Night Live. It seemed so strange that they would book
(not that I knew what booking was back then) this odd band for their
show, but hey, at least I was going to get to see them live! They
played “Epic” (of course) and one other song – I can’t
remember which one. I still have the tape that I recorded this on.
Faith No More’s performance from the Video Music Awards is also on
that tape. I was so obsessed with how gloriously weird Mike Patton
was. The weirdest I had seen up to that point had been Al, and he
didn’t hold a candle to the kilt-wearing, gibberish-spewing Patton.
Not
long after The
Real Thing
was released a strange thing happened - Faith No More put out a live
album. I didn’t know this was strange then, but now I wonder - who
the heck puts out a live album as their second release? Live
at Brixton Academy
is a great audio showcase of Patton’s antics. There are many
instances where the vocals just descend into aforementioned
gibberish. Also included is “We Care A Lot” with Patton on
vocals. I didn’t know at the time that Mike Patton was a
replacement for the band’s original singer, Chuck Moseley. I found
this out later by buying the album Introduce
Yourself
and being disappointed. I would go to a local indy record store once
a week to see what was new and was so excited to see another Faith No
More album in the bin. The guys at the store – Dave and Mike –
didn’t know me well enough yet to warn me that it was a different
vocalist. I love everything about Faith No More, but as you can
probably tell, Patton is the key. It’s safe to say that I would not
be the Faith No More fan I am today if they had stuck with their
Moseley. Or gone with Courtney Love, who was apparently in the
running at one point.
Although I would be very interested to hear her
take on a few Faith No More songs.
I
haven’t watched MTV in years, so I don’t know if they still do
this, but they used to hype new videos by established bands for a
couple of weeks before they premiered. One night while I was doing
algebra homework or something, MTV had a spot for the first new Faith
No More video from their brand new album, Angel
Dust. I
was in heaven. I want to say the video premiered on the alternative
show, 120
Minutes,
hosted by the incredibly hot Kennedy (who I had a massive crush on),
but I think it came on earlier in the day. I also think it was on a
weekend. Whenever it was, the video for “Midlife Crisis” was
awesome. Looking back, I wonder why it wasn’t a letdown. There’s
no crazy imagery or Patton shenanigans; in fact, it’s probably the
most subdued video Faith No More released. All I know is that I loved
it and immediately wanted slicked-back hair and a sleazy van dyke. I
also wanted some blue work clothes (I didn’t know Dickies at the
time).
My
first misplaced feelings of superiority also came as a result of
Faith No More.
They
performed on MTV’s awful afternoon show, Hangin’
with MTV,
and played the gonzo, non-hit track “Caffeine”. I recall watching
the douchebags in the live audience trying to bang their heads (this
phrase always seemed incredibly stupid to me, but I’ve yet to come
up with anything better) to the song and looking not quite sure what
to do. They didn’t get my music. They didn’t get that Faith No
More was too cool for their stupid show and was aggressively playing
this off-kilter song just to show their disdain for these… posers.
I just knew that if I were there, Mike Patton would hand me an extra
mic so I could make weird growly noises along with him and freak out
all these jocko douchebags. Or something.
When
I finally got my hands on a copy of Angel
Dust my
life felt complete. It is the only sophomore album that I immediately
liked more than the debut. Every track was perfect. Is
perfect. There is absolutely nothing bad about this album. From the
strangely uplifting “Land of Sunshine” all the way through to the
inexplicable cover of the theme from Midnight
Cowboy,
each track on this album is a gift for your ears. I was still
innocent enough when Angel
Dust
came out to not understand why my mom didn’t like it just from
hearing the title, or to know that I should be grossed out by
“Jizzlobber”.
I
just knew that, like “Edge of the World”, parts of Angel
Dust
made me feel kind of dirty (mostly “Be Aggressive”). And no
family-friendly album is going to feature a photograph of a
slaughterhouse on the back.
The
video for “A Small Victory” also garnered a fair amount of hype
from MTV. I think they even did another build-up type thing for it,
because I remember anticipating it for a while. This one might have
premiered on Headbanger’s
Ball.
That seems really inappropriate, but I seem to remember the band
either being guests or possibly even hosting the episode. The video
for “A Small Victory” was definitely a return to weirdness,
albeit a more artful kind. It was dark and strange and featured the
band members sitting in these crazy, thorny, bone-looking thrones
while the camera spun around them. And the song was great, too.
Time
passed and we heard nothing from Faith No More. Then, one day at
school, one of my buddies told me they had a new video. It was some
slow song and they were in a hotel room full of women in their
underwear. I wasn’t sure about the slow part, but new Faith No More
and scantily clad ladies were definitely right up my alley. It was a
long time before I actually saw the video for Faith No More’s cover
of The Commodores’ “Easy”, but once I did I knew I needed to
explain something to my friend. If he couldn’t tell those were
dudes in that video, he was definitely going to need looking out for.
And I thought I was sheltered.
At
the time the cover wasn’t my favorite song, but anything new from
Faith No More was great news. As soon as I could I made my way to
MusiCDrome – that local record store – to get the new album.
Unfortunately, there was no new album. It was an EP called Songs
to Make Love To,
and it only had a few songs on it, one of which had been on Angel
Dust.
It did whet the appetite, though. Between the bizarre polka “Das
Schutzenfest” and the cover of the Dead Kennedys’ “Let’s
Lynch the Landlord” (another song that introduced me to a band I
would like), there was enough to hold you over until the next album.
I think “Easy” was the last Faith No More video I actually saw on
MTV.
Faith
No More also had songs on the soundtracks for Bill
& Ted’s Bogus Journey
– “The Perfect Crime” - and Judgment
Night –
“Another Body Murdered” with the Boo-yah Tribe. I bought both of
those soundtracks just for Faith No More’s contributions; although
Judgment
Night
is one I still listen to all the time.
King
for a Day, Fool for a Lifetime
came out some time later. I saw the video for “Ricochet” while I
was in Europe with my family. That was when I realized that Europe
liked Faith No More a lot more than America did. Seeing that video
made me look for Faith No More stuff over there and there was a ton.
In the States, you couldn’t find so much as a button; in Europe
they had t-shirts, banners, singles, posters, books – it was like
Faith No More were Europe’s New Kids on the Block. OK - maybe not
that big, but there was way more merchandise to be had overseas. The
problem was that I had a severely limited cash flow and my parents
still didn’t care for the band that produced an album called Angel
Dust
(and now I understood why), so they weren’t about to contribute to
the cause. I ended up buying the singles for “Digging the Grave”
and “Evidence” since they both had tracks I had never heard. I
still haven’t done anything with the patch that came with the
“Digging the Grave” single. It’s in a cigar box with a bunch of
other un-applied patches. I think I’m just afraid of losing it.
Update:
That patch is now on my Con backpack.
By
the time Album
of the Year
came out Faith No More had a new guitarist and I had a few new
friends. Richard, Terry, and Gnoll are all big Faith No More fans.
Now I had people I could discuss the new stuff with. I remember going
in to get a new tattoo not long after the album was released and
talking to Richard about it the whole time he was working on me. The
new album was fantastic, but the best was yet to come.
I
was working at the Masquerade at the time and Faith No More was going
to be playing there. I rarely asked for specific job assignments, but
that night I asked to be upstairs. I was ready to quit if I had to,
just to see the show. Fortunately, not only did they put me upstairs;
they put me on stage duty This meant I got to be backstage before the
show and sit on the front of the stage during the set.
I
could sit here and bust a nut just thinking about it if I wasn’t at
work.
Roddy
Bottum asked me very politely to sit in front of his keyboards and
make sure nothing happened to them. Holy shit!
After
the amazing set, I ended up leaning against a wall backstage while
waiting for the crew to clear the stage. Some guy came and leaned
beside me and HOLY MOTHERFUCKING TAP-DANCING YETI SHITPOOP IT’S
MIKE FUCKING PATTON!
Yeah,
I had just been sitting not three feet away from the guy watching him
perform, but now I actually had the opportunity to talk to him. One
of my idols. To this day, one of the top three people on my celebrity
“I’d like to meet” list. I guess he’s technically on my “I’m
glad I’ve met” list now, but whatever.
I
think the only reason I didn’t act like a complete idiot is that I
had been at the Masquerade for about a year at that point and had
quite a bit of practice talking to musicians at varying levels of
fame.
Before
I go further, let me relate the story my boss, Kenneth, told me about
Mike Patton:
According
to Kenneth, the last time Faith No More played at the Masquerade
Patton had had a bowling bag full of pills with him. At some point he
got so hopped up on whatever these pills were that he jumped down
through the lift hole (the lift is what you loaded the bands’ gear
on to get it up to the second story of the club and the hole in the
floor that the lift comes up through is probably about twenty feet
above the pavement below), hit the top of the lift, rolled off, ran
up the back steps and locked himself in the band’s dressing room.
Kenneth said that the tour manager had to talk through the door to
Patton to get him to go out on stage when it was time. The
combination of Kenneth’s story and my past self being not quite so
cynical as I am now made me somewhat hesitant to speak to Patton, but
there was no way I was going to miss this opportunity.
I
have heard stories about him being difficult, intentionally obtuse or
even argumentative. The Mike Patton I met was none of those things.
We had a half-hour conversation about food, of all things. He was
very polite and refined. I asked where they were headed next and he
told me North Carolina. I happily informed him that I was from North
Carolina and he asked me if I knew any good places to eat. I
recommended a couple of places, got him to sign a set list and
thanked him for his time. He was a really nice guy. That was
definitely one of the high points of my life.
As
a side note, the band that opened for Faith No More was none other
than the soon-to-be-huge Limp Bizkit. This was shortly after 3
Dollar Bill, Y’all
had released and before Fred Durst had paid anybody to play their
songs. But you wouldn’t know it from their attitudes. As friendly
and down to earth as Patton and Bottum were, the dickbags in Limp
Bizkit were equally as aloof and stuck up. In my time at the
Masquerade, I found it to be almost universally true that bands who
had already been to the top were going to be really cool while bands
that were there or on their way were assholes. That and all musical
acts from the U.K. are fucking dicks. The Prodigy, Orbital, Radiohead
and countless others proved that British musicians are douchebags.
Except
for Motörhead. I’ll tell that story another time.
And
that’s kind of the end of my tale. Faith No More broke up,
supposedly for good, shortly after that tour. I’d like to tell you
when and where I was when I heard but I really don’t know. I didn’t
believe it at first and I’m honestly not sure how I verified it. I
just remember being absolutely crushed.
Not
long after they disbanded a greatest hits collection was released
with a really nice bonus disc with several B-sides on it. I got that
and became obsessed for a while with collecting every Faith No More
song ever released. This was before I was familiar with file sharing,
so I was on eBay constantly looking for singles I didn’t have or
had never heard of. This search led to my discovery of the greatest
song of all time. “This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us”
– a collaboration with Sparks, a group I had never heard of – is
still the most magnificent song I have ever heard.
I
think I’ve got pretty much every studio recording Faith No More has
made now, along with a small number of live performances. Bootlegs
aren’t as easy to find as they used to be, oddly enough. I haven’t
had a whole lot of luck finding recordings of live shows online for
some reason.
The
last truly significant Faith No More-related event previous to
Saturday night’s revelation was finding out Mrs. Troublemaker was a
big fan, too, when we first started dating. That definitely helped
seal the deal.
So
there you go. I love Faith No More. I sure hope they make it to a
U.S. tour. I also hope the new album doesn’t suck. We’ll see.
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