See what
I did there?
I wanted
to do something kind of special today since we didn’t post
yesterday and Black Friday is sort of a significant day. I don’t
typically venture out on Black Friday (although I will be hitting the
local independent record store to pick up some Record Store Day releases), but I
appreciate the madness that happens between the Friday after
Thanksgiving and the following Monday, now known as Cyber Monday.
But
today’s post isn’t really about any of that. It’s about the
fact that even though I actively collect the 3.75” scale Star Wars
Black series, I never
review them. Before I get into the meat of today’s post – reviews
of several SWB figures - I want to take a look at that.
It’s
not just Star Wars figures, either. I don’t ever review GI Joes and
I’m still buying those regularly. I know Jonathan
is annoyed that I’m not reviewing them. And I feel kind of bad
about that because GI Joe is my
toy line. It’s my favorite. But there’s something that Star Wars
and GI Joe have in common that I think contributes to me not writing
reviews – they’ve both been around for decades. And while the
lines have changed significantly over the years, reviews still
essentially boil down to whether or not the figure looks like I think
it should and how many places it bends.
Now, an
argument could be made that all
action figure reviews are basically like that. But when I’ve opened
and posed hundreds of the same scale and style of figure, it gets
old. It’s not exciting. How many times can I say, “I really wish
they’d painted the ankle joints”?
Hasbro
has the 3.75” scale nailed. Whether it’s Joe or Star Wars, within
each line every figure is pretty much the same. Unless there’s a
glaring paint error they’re all “4”s.
But in
the interest of providing something neat today, I’m going to do
mini reviews of several of the newest SWB figures I’ve picked up
lately. The line has gotten a good bit more exciting over the past
couple of months and there’s some cool stuff to look at. Today’s
final figure is, in particular, very interesting.
Side
Note: There’s this closeout store called Ollie’s over by Gwinnett
Place Mall in Duluth, GA. I went there the other day for the first
time and found all
of the GI Joe figures I had been looking for – the Data Viper and
the new versions of Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes, Cobra Commander, and
Firefly. And they were four
dollars each.
Ollie’s
had tons of toys for super cheap, and a lot of stuff like those Joes
that seemingly never made it to retail. Or at least, not in any
significant distribution. If you have an Ollie’s near you, go check
it out. They also had a pretty good supply of Marvel Legends for
eight bucks apiece.
I’ll
just cover each figure’s package here since there are only two
varieties and they’re both blister cards.
The
initial Star Wars Black cardback was designed to be very different
from the recently ended 3.75” line that it was replacing. The flat
black card with the orange highlights and grey graphics was striking
and effective. And also maybe a little dull. I do like the uniform
artwork on the back of the cards:
The
newer releases maintain the black and grey aesthetic, but replace the
orange with blue, which I think looks much nicer. Also, instead of
the plain, rectangular card the back is now cut in the shape of a TIE
Fighter Pilot’s helmet. It’s kind of an odd choice, but it looks
great and has a cool profile. The oxygen tubes on the lower sides
keep the bottom of the card from being dull. Additionally, the grey
on the new cards is a bit lighter and stands out more.
In
the end, these all get thrown in my trash can, so the packaging isn’t
a huge deal. But I do enjoy considering the impact at retail in an
aisle full of toys.
#17
- Vizam
If
you’re like me, you had no idea there were so many skiff guards.
I
mean, on an unconscious level of course I knew it. Luke, Lando, and
Chewie kill a bunch of dudes over the Pit of Carkoon. But I never
really thought about it until guys like Vizam – who fall outside of
the classic trio of Klaatu, Barada, and Nikto – started coming out
in the Black line.
Vizam
looks great and stands out well on a shelf full of similarly sized
aliens. The pastels in his clothing look good. The most outstanding
thing about this guy is his paint job. He looks nice and weathered
and dirty, like a criminal that lives on a desert planet should.
Unfortunately,
Vizam has what is a common problem in Star Wars figures these days –
joints that do not match the surrounding areas. His knees and ankles
are blue plastic and they look terrible. I understand that this is a
cost thing, but I still find it inexcusable.
The
articulation is great, with all of the swivels and pivots and joints
you’ve come to expect from this line. Vizam can do everything you
might want one of Jabba’s goons to do, including hold his giant
cannon that should be attached to a skiff or sail barge anyway.
Side
Note: I wish there was some possibility of Hasbro releasing a 3.75”
scale Sail Barge. I feel like that’s one of the big, glaring holes
in the history of the Star Wars toy line. It is a far more integral
set piece than the Ewok village, but we’ve never seen any kind of
toy version. Now that Hasbro has launched that dumb Hero starship
line that doesn’t even interact with action figures, I think our
chances of a good Sail Barge are pretty much gone. If only they had
released Jabba’s mobile HQ instead of that asinine Battle Droid
drop ship. Who the heck thought that thing was a good idea?
Vizam
comes with a blaster, a hat, and a cannon. The blaster fits into his
holster or his hand quite nicely. The hat didn’t need to be
removable, but it is and that’s neat. It stays put fairly well. The
cannon has been included with other figures and can snap onto the
railing of the skiff that was released years ago. It’s odd that
they still use this accessory given the age of the skiff toy and the
unlikelihood of a sail barge ever being released. But it’s a really
cool cannon, so I’m happy to have another one.
Vizam
is a pretty solid ten dollar figure. I still feel like ten bucks is
steep for this scale, but that’s where we are now. If you want
figures in this scale, that’s what you’re paying. If it weren’t
for the mismatched knee and ankle joints, Vizam would be perfect.
4
out of 5
#04
– Darth Malgus
I
wish Hasbro hadn’t started the numbering over again with the launch
of the blue Black waves. I don’t know why they did.
I
also don’t know who Darth Malgus is. I mean, I’ve heard the name
because I do keep up with Star Wars stuff, but I haven’t read or
played whatever he’s from. He’s an Old Republic guy and that’s
an era I haven’t delved into much aside from playing a few hours of
Knights
of the Old Republic.
None
of that really matters, though, because this guy looks awesome. He
basically looks like somebody reimagined Darth Vader as a video game
boss, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. He’s got a grey
bodysuit and all kinds of detail on his various pieces of armor
plating. The red bits – presumably meant to be lights – are a
nice touch that break up the darker tones. His chestplate has what
looks like Gallifreyan writing on it. His head is a nice combination
of beat up and menacing. I don’t know if this guy got burned like
Vader, electrocuted like (Sheev) Palpatine, or what, but it’s a
good, Sith-y look.
Malgus
has all of the standard joints of a Star Wars figure of this size. A
size which, may I say, never seems to have any problems with stuck
joints or limbs simply tearing right off. This figure’s head pops
off so you can remove his chest armor if you’re so inclined.
He
comes with a lightsaber hilt, an ignited lightsaber, and a hooded
cloak. The hilt plugs into a hole on Malgus’ belt. The ignited
saber fits in either hand; or both. The hooded cloak has a wire in it
so you can position it on the figure. I have no idea if I have done
this correctly, but it looks pretty cool.
Darth
Malgus is a cool looking Sith Lord. Or Grand Master. Or whatever he
is. I don’t make a point of collecting Old Republic era stuff, but
this guy is going to look good on my Sith shelf with all of the other
Darths. Plus, he doesn’t have any ugly, mismatched joints.
5
out of 5
#18
Darth Plagueis
Out
of all of the Darths, Plagueis has the worst name. There’s just
nothing cool about plagues.
This
is the guy that (Sheev) Palpatine was telling Anakin about at the
space blob opera. The one that discovered the secrets of extended
life and killed his master. Or Palpatine killed him; I can’t
remember. I just know I like this guy because he’s a Muun. I know
that’s weird because the Muuns resemble Greys, which I am terrified
of, but these guys look cool. I also know that he was trained in the
ways of the Dark Side by Darth Tenebrous, a Bith Sith whose name
basically means “Dark Darkness”, which is still not the dumbest
Star Wars name ever.
Like
Malgus, Plagueis has a severe case of Sith head. The weird thing is
that Plagueis doesn’t have any obvious physical challenges like
most of the rest of the Sith. He appears to be mostly intact and
doesn’t even need any kind of breathing apparatus. The figure is
nice and lanky, but still manages to stand up on its own. He’s got
all of the requisite grey and black armor stuff, all detailed quite
nicely. He also has a little vest.
Plagueis
comes with a staff, an ignited lightsaber, a breathing mask, and a hooded cloak. The
staff is actually the hilt of the lightsaber, which is very cool. He
can hold it in either or both hands. The cloak is really cool from
the neck down, but I can’t get that hood to do anything.
Darth
Plagueis is another cool addition to the Sith shelf. He’s not very
exciting, but he looks like he should and has a very cool weapon. The
hood is disappointing, but otherwise this one is spot-on.
4
out of 5
#28
- Ree-Yees
Ree-Yees
is one of the buttholes that hangs around Jabba’s palace,
presumably leeching off of the Hutt crime lord’s hard work. I guess
these guys were hoping Jabba would come up with some gangster shit
for them to do. When I was a kid I didn’t think of the Ree-Yees
figure as being a bad guy. He just looks too silly.
 |
| Threepio was asking for it. |
This
updated version looks a little more fierce than previous figures. The
1998 Power of the Force Ree-Yees looked had sort of a three-eyed
donkey thing going on. I like how bulky this one is, and his massive
hands are terrifying. His skin has great textures and there’s a
good bit of detail in his clothing. I like the stripes down the sides
of his trousers. I don’t know how accurate they are, but they’re
a nice touch.
Ree-Yees
has most
of the standard Star Wars 3.75” joints. Rather than a swivel waist
he has a ball joint and his ankles are not articulated. That’s fine
by me. Sometimes ankle joints make it more difficult to get a figure
to stand. Plus, they often end up being a different color from the
foot and the calf and are just eyesores. I’d rather eliminate them
than have the discolored joint.
This
figure comes with two blasters. He can hold either one in either
hand. They both work well with the figure (I don’t know if they’re
new or if we’ve seen them before) because they don’t have trigger
guards. With this Gran’s big, meaty hands there’s no way blasters
with trigger guards would have worked. These fit nicely. I do kind of
wish he had holsters, but at the same time that would have messed up
his profile.
According
to the now defunct Expanded Universe, Ree-Yees was a wanted murderer
who was involved in a plot to kill Jabba with Squid-Face and the frog
thing that sits outside of Jabba’s palace eating bugs. To me he
will always be the asshole that uses flash photography on Star Tours.
You need this figure in your collection. It’s the first Ree-Yees
we’ve gotten in sixteen years (though there have been other Grans)
and probably the last one we’ll see for sixteen more. He’s great.
5
out of 5
#05
– Starkiller (Galen Marek)
I
haven’t played The
Force Unleashed
in years, but I absolutely adored that game. Most of the Star Wars
video game library was embraced by the Expanded Universe to some
extent, but The
Force Unleashed
really felt like a bridge between the EU and the movies. More so than
any of its video game predecessors it had that legitimate Star Wars
feel.
I
still haven’t played the sequel – which I’m sure I could buy
for five dollars now – because I heard it was really short. I don’t
play a whole lot of video games and it’s mostly because of how
expensive they are. If I’m going to drop sixty bucks on a game, I
want it to last me months. But I did hear that The
Force Unleashed II
was good and I want to see more of the adventures of Galen Marek.
This
is a reissue of a Galen Marek figure that was produced for the
Vintage line. I don’t know what happened with that one – I never
saw it at retail and I don’t know if it ever even made it to
widespread distribution. There were a
lot of
problems with some waves from the Vintage line. Like, even more than
what we’ve seen with the two different scales of the Black series.
The
head sculpt is identifiable as Sam Witwer, but a little too severe.
Not quite as good as the older figures that were released when the
game came out. That Evolutions 3-pack that Hasbro put out is an
essential in my opinion. The figure’s base Imperial jumpsuit is
very cool. The Toys R Us I got this from had two Starkillers and I
kind of wish I’d gotten both of them just to use the jumpsuit. I’ve
got enough spare heads laying around. Of course, the neck pegs on
Star Wars figures are all kinds of different sizes, so there’s no
telling if I’ll be able to match an appropriate head.
Obviously
Marek has all of the standard articulation, so I’m not going to
bother with that.
He
comes with a ton of stuff – a backpack, two belt pieces, chest
armor, a pair of gauntlets, two lightsaber hilts, and two ignited
lightsabers. All of this essentially creates three different looks
for the figure, each of which is a worthy figure on its own. I’m
pretty sure they’re all from the second game. I guess it’s really
two and a half looks, but to me he seems different enough without any
waist accessories.
All
of the paint on the figure looks good except for what’s on the
head. It’s kind of minimal up there. And those eyebrows… those
are something else. The rest looks great. The jumpsuit has a clean
paint job with Imperial insignias and the open chest panel. The
gloves, boots, and armor are all clean. All of the accessories look
great, as well.
Each
of the pieces interacts nicely with the figure. The wide belt with
the straps hanging off of it ops open, but it can also just slide up
the figure’s legs. The other belt just slides on. The gauntlets
snap on securely. And the lightsabers fit perfectly into the hands.
The waist piece with the loin cloth (purely because it looks cool –
I can’t imagine what practical purpose a loin cloth serves over a
military flight suit) has a hole in the belt to store one of the
saber hilts.
Overall
this figure is a lot of fun and looks great. The head could look
better and could certainly stand to be more Witwer-esque, but it’s
still a very solid addition to the surprisingly large collection of
Galen Marek figures. If I see another one, I’ll buy it. There’s
enough here to justify the ten dollar price tag.
4
out of 5
Everybody
have a fun and safe weekend! If you’re going out shopping, watch
out for all of the lunatics on the road. Don’t get in fights over
dumb shit.
If
you’re not going out shopping, go to the Needless Things Amazon Store
and help us out! starting with these guys:
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