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“Procrastibate”
by LeSexoflex.com
“A Fistfull of Terror”
by The Bomboras
Needless
Things V. 31 Days of Halloween
Every
October for the last few years Needless Things has provided
commentary on SyFy’s – the television channel devoted to science
fiction (sort of) – schedule. Not because the channel provides the
best Halloween content, but because they provide the most.
Aside from some paid programming in the wee hours of the morning
(because somebody
has to pay for Sharknado
3: Again With This?),
SyFy makes an effort to program content that is at least
Halloween-ish every hour of the month.
It
is for this that we thank them and devote far more effort than we
should into dissecting what they have to offer.
Before
I get to the schedule I want to give SyFy credit – they have a
great weekend planned this time. Lots of stuff that I believe is new
to them and slightly less repeating than they tend to have.
Oct
10 10:00 AM Syfy Original Movie American Horror House
Oct
10 12:00 PM Syfy Original Movie Ghost Voyage
This
is a film with a fantastic story that was somewhat hampered by being
a SyFy production. I suppose “hampered” isn’t; the right word
considering that so many of the scripts SyFy produces would never see
the light of day otherwise, but sometimes the budgetary constraints
show. This isn’t bad by any means, but it’s one that you can just
tell with a different cast and different people in charge could have
been so much more.
Oct
10 02:00 PM Syfy Original Movie Ghost Town
Regardless
of the quality, this one gets points for not being the one that stars
Ricky Gervais.
Oct
10 04:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Uninvited, The
Oct
10 06:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Texas Chain Saw Massacre
(1974)
In
my opinion this is a huge addition to SyFy’s schedule. There are a
lot of haters that poo-poo 31 Days of Halloween and SyFy in general,
but not even the most jaded genre fan can deny that showing this
movie is a cool move. I’m a little surprised that it’s on at this
time. If I were running things I would’ve programmed it for a
Saturday night with no new Original movie.
Oct
10 08:00 PM WWE Smackdown 101014
Oct
10 10:00 PM Z Nation Home Sweet Zombie
Oct
10 11:00 PM Town Of The Living Dead Jasper Needs Zombies
Oct
10 11:30 PM Town Of The Living Dead Premature Explosion
Oct
10 12:00 AM Z Nation Home Sweet Zombie
Oct
10 01:00 AM Town Of The Living Dead Jasper Needs Zombies
Oct
10 01:30 AM Town Of The Living Dead Premature Explosion
Oct
10 02:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Texas Chain Saw Massacre
(1974)
Oct
10 04:00 AM Syfy Original Movie American Horror House
Oct
11 06:00 AM Paid Programming
Oct
11 09:00 AM Town Of The Living Dead Jasper Needs Zombies
Oct
11 09:30 AM Town Of The Living Dead Premature Explosion
Oct
11 10:00 AM Scare Tactics Barnacle Boy
Oct
11 10:30 AM Syfy Original Movie Ghost Voyage
Oct
11 12:30 PM Syfy Original Movie Ghost Town
Oct
11 02:30 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Chernobyl Diaries
I
haven’t seen this yet and I’ve heard it isn’t any good, but I’d
still like to watch it. And I think it’s not a bad get for SyFy.
This is television, so anything more recent than five years ago feels
new.
Oct
11 04:30 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Halloween II (2009)
Oct
11 07:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Freddy Vs. Jason
Oct
11 09:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
I
love this remake. And not just because Jessica Biel is so hot she
seems almost like a different species. It’s a solid, respectful
retelling of the original Chainsaw that uses different pacing to
create a new experience.
Oct
11 11:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Hostel: Part II
This
is a very successful sequel that plays on what we know from the
original and ups the stakes with a different variety of victims and a
MASSIVE turning of the table late in the narrative. I love Eli Roth
and I feel like even his “torture porn” movies stand in a
category all their own.
Side
Note: I want whatever problems are delaying the release of Green
Inferno
to stop NOW. Lions Gate or somebody else need to pick that film up
immediately because I cannot wait to see it.
Oct
11 01:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Chernobyl Diaries
Oct
11 03:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Bleeding, The
Oct
11 05:00 AM Town Of The Living Dead Jasper Needs Zombies
Oct
11 05:30 AM Town Of The Living Dead Premature Explosion
Oct
12 06:00 AM Paid Programming
Oct
12 09:00 AM Scare Tactics Touched By An E.T.
This
is the worst name for anything, ever.
Oct
12 09:30 AM Town Of The Living Dead Jasper Needs Zombies
Oct
12 10:00 AM Town Of The Living Dead Premature Explosion
Oct
12 10:30 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Night Of The Demons
If
I didn’t own this I would be watching it. This is another great get
for SyFy and to me is proof that they’re trying to dig a little
deeper than their own Original archives. If they could bust out four
or five genre classics every year I think that would be great.
Oct
12 12:30 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Halloween II (2009)
Oct
12 03:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Hostel: Part II
Oct
12 05:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Freddy Vs. Jason
Oct
12 07:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Oct
12 09:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Fog, The
I
don’t have any use for this one, regardless of whether it’s the
remake or the John Carpenter original. I don’t know what the
problem is, but neither one does anything for me.
Oct
12 11:00 PM Syfy Original Movie Ghost Storm
I
don’t think this is likely to be very good, but I probably wouldn’t
turn it off if I was lying in bed and it came on. Unless I could
reach the remote and put on Tales
From the Crypt,
which is pretty much all I’ve been watching this month.
Oct
12 01:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Haunting In Connecticut, The
A
very solid possession flick. The sequel was terrible, but I enjoyed
this one a lot.
Oct
12 03:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Dead Like Me (2008)
I
can’t get into this franchise. It’s all me, though. I recognize
that it’s good. I just don’t enjoy it for some reason.
Oct
12 05:00 AM The Twilight Zone The Fear
Oct
12 05:30 AM Tz: Cable In The Classroom The Invaders
Oct
13 06:00 AM Paid Programming
Oct
13 08:00 AM Town Of The Living Dead Jasper Needs Zombies
Oct
13 08:30 AM Town Of The Living Dead Premature Explosion
Oct
13 09:00 AM Syfy Original Movie Vampyre Nation
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