This
is literally the biggest episode so far!
Phantom
Troublemaker – Your Host
Beth
V – Needless Things’ Top Reporter
Ryan
Cadaver – Lead Vo-Kill-Ist for The Casket Creatures
Nathan
Hamilton – Son of Celluloid
Jonathan
Williams – Wrestling With Pop Culture
The
crew discuss their own histories with the horror genre, favorite
movies and events, and personal fears and how they’ve been
reflected in media. We also get the lowdown on what everybody will be
up to this Halloween season.
Listen
now or check the podcast out on iTunes and Stitcher!
“Procrastibate”
by LeSexoflex.com
“Judgment Night” by ONYX & Biohazard
"Zombie Werewolves From Outer Space" by The Casket Creatures
Needless
Things V. 31 Days of Halloween
Every
October for the last few years Needless Things has provided
commentary on SyFy’s – the television channel devoted to science
fiction (sort of) – schedule. Not because the channel provides the
best Halloween content, but because they provide the most.
Aside from some paid programming in the wee hours of the morning
(because somebody
has to pay for Sharknado
3: Again With This?),
SyFy makes an effort to program content that is at least
Halloween-ish every hour of the month.
It
is for this that we thank them and devote far more effort than we
should into dissecting what they have to offer.
Oct
3 10:00 AM Syfy Original Movie Vampyre Nation
Oct
3 12:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Bleeding, The
This
is not a movie that you watch for its plot of an ex-Army Ranger
tracking down his parents’ killer. This is a movie you watch
because the cast consists of DMX, Armand Assante, Michael Madsen,
Vinnie Jones, and Kat Von D. This is the sort of cast you would come
up with if you were playing a drinking game called “Hollywood
Train Wreck”. I cannot wait to see this.
Train Wreck”. I cannot wait to see this.
Oct
3 02:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie My Bloody Valentine
I
know I reviewed this movie, but I can’t find it to link to it. I
liked it except for the man-child playing the sheriff. He was fine as
far as playing the role goes, but he just did not look the sheriff
part. The guy came across like a kid wearing dad’s uniform.
Oct
3 04:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines
I
have no idea which of these movies are which. I’ve seen them all,
but after the second one they all blend together. Some are good and
some are absolutely intolerable. I think this is one of the shirt
ones, because Doug Bradley is in it and I remember feeling very, very
badly for him at some point.
Oct
3 06:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Resident Evil: Extinction
I
love the Resident
Evil
movies. Except for the second one. But I think the rest of them range
from fun to awesome. This one – the third – is my favorite. It’s
the one in Las Vegas that’s the for-real post-apocalyptic world. I
still remember how crazy it seemed that the producers had pulled the
trigger on making it a full-on Mad Max-style thing.
Oct
3 08:00 PM WWE Smackdown 100314
Wrestling
helps pay the bills, so shut up about it.
Oct
3 10:00 PM Z Nation Full Metal Zombie
Oct
3 11:00 PM Spartacus: Gods Of The Arena Beneath The Mask
Oct
3 12:05 AM Z Nation Full Metal Zombie
Oct
3 01:05 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines
Oct
3 03:05 AM Syfy Original Movie Phantom Racer
A
race car movie starring Nicole Eggert. There’s only one reason
anybody is going to tune into a movie starring Nicole Eggert, and
they’re not going to get it from a SyFy Original Movie. If you
catch my Tokyo Drift.
Oct
3 05:00 AM Haven Much Ado About Mara
Oct
4 06:00 AM Paid Programming
Oct
4 09:00 AM Scare Tactics Driver's Dead
Oct
4 09:30 AM Scare Tactics Pregnant With A Mutant
Oct
4 10:00 AM Scare Tactics Blown To Green Pieces
Oct
4 10:30 AM Syfy Original Movie Swamp Devil
It’s
devil day on SyFy! This one is sort of a combination of Swamp
Thing
and Evil
Dead 2.
Which, honestly, isn’t a bad thing to be.
Oct
4 12:30 PM Syfy Original Movie Tasmanian Devils
Starring
former Olympian Apollo Ohno. Because the first thing I think when
confronted with wild, ravenous mutants is, “Let’s call a
short-distance speed skater!”
Oct
4 02:30 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Hellboy
This
is an absolutely fantastic movie and probably in my top five best
comic book adaptations.
Oct
4 05:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Resident Evil: Extinction
Oct
4 07:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Reaping, The
This
is that end of days movie starring Hilary Swank. I saw it in the
theater and wished I hadn’t.
Oct
4 09:00 PM Syfy Original Movie Dark Haul
From
IMDB:
“The meaning of
cryptic prophesy splits apart a team of secretive guardians as they
transport by 18-wheeler truck, a deadly creature and it's half-human
sister from their now ineffective holding place to a more secure
location. The sister's hidden agenda undermines the mission releasing
the beast and they end up battling for the fate of the world when the
true meaning of the prophesy is discovered in this mysterious and
thrilling, action-packed creature feature.”
While
I am not overly impressed by the author’s sentence structure, that
does sound like a pretty good flick. Throw Tom Sizemore in with all
of that and I do believe I’ll be setting my DVR.
Oct
4 11:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Hellboy
Oct
4 01:30 AM Syfy Original Movie Dark Haul
Oct
4 03:30 AM Syfy Original Movie Dark Relic
This
one is about some knights running away from demons or something.
Definitely a 3:30 AM SyFy special. Rather than talk about it, I’d
like to commend SyFy for not trotting out The
Devil’s Advocate
this year. Well, yet. But if they were gonna do it, you’d think
they would do it on Devil Day.
Oct
4 05:30 AM Scare Tactics Bicentennialien
Oct
5 06:00 AM Paid Programming
Oct
5 09:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Cursed, The
This
is not that crappy Wes Craven movie about werewolves. This is a
different crappy movie.
Oct
5 11:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Stephen King's Rose Red - Part
1
Oct
5 01:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Stephen King's Rose Red - Part
2
Oct
5 03:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Stephen King's Rose Red - Part
3
I
LOVE that SyFy are doing this. They have entire days of programming
to fill up with spooky content, so why not show some miniseries? I’ll
admit that Rose
Red
isn’t exactly one of my favorites, but it’s cool that they’re
showing it. Plus I think it’s new to the channel. Well, new-ish.
Oct
5 05:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Reaping, The
Oct
5 07:00 PM Syfy Original Movie House Of Bones
This
one is kind of fun. And if you’re a fan of Corin Nemec and/or
Charisma Carpenter (yum), then you’ll really dig it. SyFy shows it
every year and I watch it every year. It’s not bad.
Oct
5 09:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Shutter
I
thought this was a pretty good remake of a Thai film. I have an
inexplicable fascination with Joshua Jackson. I never watched
Dawson’s
Creek
with any regularity, but my liking of him predates Fringe.
Oct
5 11:00 PM Z Nation Puppies And Kittens
Oct
5 12:00 AM Z Nation Fracking Zombies
Oct
5 01:00 AM Z Nation Philly Feast
Oct
5 02:00 AM Z Nation Full Metal Zombie
Oct
5 03:00 AM Syfy Original Movie Zombie Night
This
one is from John Gulager, the guy behind the excellent Feast
movies. It has an interesting cast – Anthony Michael Hall and
Darryl Hannah to name a couple – and it debuted last year. I don’t
remember it at all. I know I didn’t watch it. I’ll have to give
it a try.
Oct
5 05:00 AM The Twilight Zone Come Wander With Me
Oct
5 05:30 AM Tz: Cable In The Classroom The Whole Truth
I
say this every year, but I feel like SyFy should save Twilight
Zone
for New Year’s Day.
Oct
6 06:00 AM Paid Programming
Oct
6 08:00 AM Scare Tactics The Collector
Oct
6 08:30 AM Scare Tactics Toxic Shock
Oct
6 09:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Stephen King's Rose Red - Part
1
Remember
to come back tomorrow for the first installment of R.T.’s four-part
zombie story, exclusively available here on Needless Things!
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