I’ve
mentioned it several times on the podcast and a few times here, but
I’ve been watching Tales
from the Crypt
all month. Late in September I got the heads-up from Son of Celluloid that
Walmart had all seven seasons of HBO’s classic horror anthology
show for ten bucks apiece. That’s an incredible deal for a
legendary show, so I immediately went on the hunt for them.
Granted,
I could just go on Amazon and order it:
But
it’s more than ten bucks! Obviously it’s worth the above price,
but I was all stoked about the ten dollar price tag. Now Walmarts are
already pulling down their Halloween video endcaps, so I’m not
expecting to find season two there.
Update:
I ended up ordering a two-pack with season 1 and season 2 because it
was $17.99 versus the $21.99 for season 2 alone. Yes. Seriously. I
have not, however, watched any of the second season yet.
I
watched Tales
from the Crypt
when it first aired on HBO. I was thirteen when it debuted, so
regardless of what ratings or suggestions might have preceded the
show I was the target audience. I was deep into horror at that point,
but the combination of horror and comedy wasn’t quite as prevalent
as it is now. For example – I knew Evil
Dead 2 was
weird and had a different tone from other horror movies, but at the
time it hadn’t really occurred to me that the comedy was
intentional.
It
took me a few episodes to adjust to the tone of Tales,
but before long I was absolutely devoted to the show. As a youth I
had always liked the concept of Twilight
Zone
more than the execution, and Tales
was a very modern and more relatable update to the ideas. Plus,
almost every episode featured at least one actor that I was familiar
with and liked. That was a big advantage over Twilight
Zone’s
big list of William Shatner and… William Shatner.
Side
Note: Yes, obviously I have become much more familiar with the
celebrity faces that appeared on Twilight
Zone
over the years. But when I was younger I had zero interest in older
media. It took a lot for me to watch a movie or TV show that predated
1970. To a certain extent I am still that way, but I know my history
a whole lot more and have found numerous favorites from the black and
white era.
Sitting
down with these DVDs represents my first return to the world of the
Crypt Keeper. There are a few episodes I saw replayed on HBO, but
other than that I haven’t watched most of these since they aired. I
believe one of the networks or basic cable stations played edited
versions of the show, but I can’t deal with that sort of thing. I
want the original cuts or nothing.
Today
I just wanted to give a little rundown of my thoughts about the show.
Season
1 –
The first couple of episodes had me rethinking my big Tales
from the Crypt
purchase. Both of them are very well done, but the stories just
didn’t do anything for me. Fortunately, the final four episodes
(there are only six in the first season) are fantastic and some of
the best and most memorable of the show’s entire run.
For
each of these season I am going to list not necessarily the starring
actors, but the ones that were draws for me, personally. For this
season they were William Sadler, Larry Drake, Joe Pantoliano, Robert
Wuhl, Lea Thompson, and Amanda Plummer.
I
noticed that the Crypt Keeper – one of my absolute favorite pop
culture icons, falling just below Commander USA but well above Max
Headroom – seemed much more subdued than I remembered. I was
positive that his cackling and movement were both much bigger. Sure
enough, in the special features John Kassir (the voice of the Crypt
Keeper) mentioned that he had to tone down his performance due to the
limitations of the cheaper first season Crypt Keeper puppet. Also,
this first season set is the only one to contain any special features
worth noting. There are a couple of retrospectives and an entire SDCC
panel, as well as a menu introduction by the Crypt Keeper. Later
seasons get progressively more sparse with such things.
Season
3 –
I clearly recalled every single episode of this season as I was
watching them. It’s a great season and each story is at least very
good, with most being great. If you’re going to pick up a single
season of the show, I would recommend this one (although that
recommendation may change after I pick up and re-watch the tremendous
second season).
The
big names in this season were Andrew McCarthy (who Mrs. Troublemaker
finds unwatchably creepy, which amuses me to no end), Mariel
Hemmingway, Kyle MacLachlan, Teri Garr, Bruno Kirby, Michael J. Fox
(directing and as a cameo), Beau Bridges, Jon Lovitz, John Astin,
James Remar, Malcolm McDowell, George Wendt, Tim Roth, William
Atherton, Steven Weber, Rita Wilson, Vincent Schiavelli, and Brion
James.
The
final episode of this season, “Yellow”, was actually the first
episode of a proposed Two-Fisted
Tales
series that FOX turned down. Three episodes were filmed and as a
result of FOX passing shoehorned into Tales
from the Crypt.
I know this because the tone of this episode was so jarringly
different that I had to investigate. The cast is incredible – Dan
Aykroyd, Lance Henrickson, Michael Douglas – but the story is an
utterly straightforward war tale with no twist and no humor
whatsoever. It feels like such a bizarre closer for an otherwise
fantastic season. It isn’t bad, it just isn’t Tales
from the Crypt.
The other two Two-Fisted
Tales
are in the next season and I was able to pick them out easily.
Season
4 –
This is a very uneven season. The good episodes are excellent, but
the overall season is bogged down by the two noticeably different
Two-Fisted
Tales
stories – “Showdown” and “King of the Road” - and several
sub-par entries.
HOWEVER.
This season contains my single favorite episode of Tales
from the Crypt
– “What’s Cookin’”, starring Christopher Reeve, Bess
Armstrong, Judd Nelson, and Meatloaf. Tales
from the Crypt
often played actors against type with fantastic results and never was
it more effective than with this episode, which exploits Reeves’
natural likeability with hilarious and chilling results. After
watching this, watch the incredible movie Deathtrap,
featuring Reeves and Michael Caine. Don’t read anything about it,
just watch it.
The
other Phantom favorites that starred in this season were Treat
Williams, Tom Hanks (also directing the episode he made a cameo in),
Dylan McDermott, Cleavon Little, Tia Carrere (SCHWING), Heavy D (who
is EXCELLENT in his role), David Warner, Zelda Rubenstein, Robert
Patrick, Joe Pesci, Joe Pantoliano (returning as a different
character), Zach Galligan, and Kevin McCarthy.
I
feel very strongly that the 13th
and 14th
episodes should have been swapped. Episode 13 is a great tale about a
werewolf that stars Timothy Dalton, Beverly D’Angelo, Dennis
Farina, Lela Rochon, and Charles Fleischer. It’s one of the more
fun episodes of the whole series, has a huge cast, and a great twist.
It would have been a fantastic way to close out the season.
Instead,
season 4 ends with a bland Fountain of Youth tale that is plagued
with bad pacing and the worst makeup of the entire run of the show.
Season
5 –
This season came back very strong. There’s only one – “Oil’s
Well That Ends Well” – that’s less than very good and most are
great. The season opener features Tim Curry in three different roles
and is so remarkable I watched it twice in a row. I think it’s one
(three?) of Curry’s finest performances. The fifth season is worth
ten bucks just for this episode. Ed Begley, Jr. is also this one and
does a tremendous job of being despicable. I love
Begley (I think everybody does) and it’s impressive that he can be
so thoroughly contemptible.
But
there’s more! There are also great stories featuring Héctor
Elizondo, Sam Waterston, Adam West, Miguel Ferrer (a favorite of
mine), Steve Buscemi, Ernie Hudson, Bill Paxton (another favorite),
Brad Dourif (who I have grown to truly love as an actor lately after
really only knowing him as the voice of Chucky and a guy under makeup
for so many years), David Paymer, Vincent Spano, Wil Wheaton, Jason
London(!), Keith Coogan, Billy Zane, Martin Sheen, Anthony Michael
Hall, Jeffrey Jones (I love Jeffrey Jones and am delighted whenever I
see him), Lou Diamond Phillips, Clancy Brown, Cheech Marin, John
Stamos, and Robert Picardo.
John
Kassir also makes his only on-screen appearance in the series in the
aforementioned “Oil’s Well That Ends Well”.
Season
6 –
This is another shaky season, but it gets off to a great start with a
story featuring Catherine O’Hara and Peter MacNicol. There are a
few very good stories, and I haven’t gotten to the last three yet,
so the overall rating could go up a bit. Actually, the first three
stories of the season are excellent, with the second – “Only Skin
Deep” – being one of the single weirdest and creepiest tales of
the show’s entire run. This is all the more impressive for the fact
that I’m unfamiliar with any
of the team that made or stared in it.
The
third episode stars Rita Rudner and Richard Lewis and is a fun story
about a staffer from the Tales
from the Crypt
comic book.
Also
starring in this season are Terry O’Quinn, Esai Morales, Wayne
Newton (whose name I will never be able to think of in anything other
than a Balki Bartokomous voice), Corey Feldman, D.B. Sweeney, R. Lee
Ermey, Miguel Ferrer, Slash, Wendie Malick, Jake Busey, Hank Azaria,
Austin Pendleton, Ben Stein, Michael Ironside, Bruce Davison, John
Lithgow, Isabella Rossellini, and Sherilyn Fenn.
Side
Note: I spelled “Bartokomous” correctly on the first try.
Those
last three star in the one that incorporated Humphrey Bogart footage
into the episode. I remember this being treated as a huge deal back
when it aired. I also remember being fairly unimpressed with it when
it aired. I was right. It was gimmicky, but it was trying not to be.
The story isn’t all that engrossing and the parts that utilize the
Bogart footage are awkward.
Season
7 –
Sadly, the final season of the show is pretty weak. I don’t know
why, but the entire production moved to the UK. I don’t feel like
this was what made the season weak, though. It was just a combination
of uninteresting stories and… okay, well – the British actors
were often not great. Or how about this? Not to my liking.
That
being said, this is still Tales
from the Crypt
and there were a few nuggets of joy to be had. The first two episodes
were leaving me feeling kind of hopeless, but the third was a fun
murder story with a great twist at the end. The fourth is another war
story that left me kind of flat, but then there were three great
stories in a row.
The
first of those is honestly one of the best Tales
from the Crypt
episodes I’ve seen. It’s called “Horror in the Night”. It’s
weird and gory and the acting is superb. This one pushes the limits
of what the series is and is one of those that feels like a nastier
Twilight
Zone.
Definitely worth watching.
The
final episode of the season is an animated retelling of The
Three Little Pigs.
The animation is quite good – somewhat reminiscent of John
Kricfalusi – but the story is kind of ho-hum.
So
the final season wasn’t super, but it was totally worth ten
dollars. And I suppose that’s the point here – keep an eye out
for these DVDs. I’m sure the prices fluctuate frequently on Amazon,
so when you see them for cheap, go to the Needless Things store and
grab them!
Tales
from the Crypt
was truly something special that set the bar for horror on
television. Even though it was on HBO at the time and featured
content that would be unsuitable on network TV even today, the
storytelling and talent involved will likely never be equaled.
Needless
Things V. 31 Days of Halloween
As
you may have noticed, I stopped doing this last week. I just couldn’t
bear it anymore. Not just the bad things that SyFy chooses to show,
but the repetition. It’s just not worth it. So this was the last
year of our SyFy coverage. I’m not sure if we’ll look for a new
gimmick next year – I’m open to ideas – or just stick with our
month of spooky stuff.
Whatever
the case, I think it appropriate to wheel out my old standard
valediction:
Until
next time, stay creepy.
Man, how I loved this show as a kid. I was in second or third grade when these started to come on. If I remember correctly this was one of those shows that my parents did not initially want us to watch, but after seeing a few episodes themselves decided we were well-adjusted enough to be able to handle it (the Simpsons fell in that same category).
ReplyDeleteMy parents allowed us to watch violence in TV and movies, and a little bit of nudity was ok but not graphic sex scenes. I guess they were right about their kids being able to handle it, because as far as I know none of us have hurt or killed any human or animal.
Wow! That's pretty wild.
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