Shane Morton has been a fixture of the Atlanta scene for pretty much all of his adult life. From rock n’ roll to tattooing to haunted attractions, he’s always stayed busy and contributed to many different art forms.
Me and Professor Morté on the run from maniacs at MCW at Six Flags Over Georgia!
So listen in as Phantom and Shane talk tattoos, haunts, and rock n’ roll!
This episode is sponsored by AtlantaZombie Apocalypse. Join us for our final year of creating the most unique and innovative haunted attraction in the Southeast! And be sure to come out for the grand finale on November 1st for the grand return of Atlanta’s own Monster Bash!
“Procrastibate” by LeSexoflex.com
“Goatsucker Fever” by Super X-13
Needless Things V. 31 Days of Halloween
Every October for the last few years Needless Things has provided commentary on SyFy’s – the television channel devoted to science fiction (sort of) – schedule. Not because the channel provides the best Halloween content, but because they provide the most. Aside from some paid programming in the wee hours of the morning (because somebody has to pay for Sharknado 3: Again With This?), SyFy makes an effort to program content that is at least Halloween-ish every hour of the month.
It is for this that we thank them and devote far more effort than we should into dissecting what they have to offer.
Oct 17 10:30 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Wes Craven Presents: Dracula II: Ascension
As I mentioned earlier this month, Wes Craven hasn’t always made the best movies. I don’t fault him for this. They can’t all be winners or to my taste or whatever the problem is. But with his own track record being so questionable I am hesitant to put any kind of stock into something he is just presenting. And I’m honestly not even sure what this is part two of.
Okay, I had to look it up, which is something I don’t often do. This is the sequel to Dracula 2000. It and Dracula III were directed by the original film’s director, Patrick Lussier, a protégé of Craven’s. Lussier also directed Drive Angry, which I’ll talk about in a minute.
The point of all this is that maybe I need to give these direct-to-video sequels a chance.
Oct 17 12:30 PM Syfy Original Movie Battledogs
Oct 17 02:30 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Drive Angry
I fucking love this movie. It’s completely batshit insane and nobody but Nicholas Cage could have starred in it. If you haven’t already seen it, DO NOT watch it on Syfy. There’s too much fucked up stuff you’ll miss, including the greatest sex scene ever filmed. Seriously.
Oct 17 04:30 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Hellboy
Oct 17 07:00 PM Haven The Old Switcheroo - Part 2
Oct 17 08:00 PM WWE Smackdown 101714
Oct 17 10:00 PM Z Nation Resurrection Z
Oct 17 11:00 PM Town Of The Living Dead Dong Of The Dead
…what? Can you even call a cable show “Dong of the Dead”? I know Beth didn’t enjoy this one, but I still want to check it out. Especially knowing that there’s an episode with this awesome title.
Oct 17 11:30 PM Town Of The Living Dead Zombie Karate
Oct 17 12:00 AM Z Nation Resurrection Z
Oct 17 01:00 AM Haven The Old Switcheroo - Part 2
Oct 17 02:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Dracula 2000
Oct 17 04:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Wes Craven Presents: Dracula II: Ascension
Oct 18 06:00 AM Paid Programming
Oct 18 09:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Stephen King's Rose Red - Part 1
Oct 18 11:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Stephen King's Rose Red - Part 2
Oct 18 01:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Stephen King's Rose Red - Part 3
Oct 18 03:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Reaping, The
Oct 18 05:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Fog, The
Oct 18 07:00 PM Syfy Original Movie Scarecrow
Phew. I was worried Syfy wasn’t going to show anything new all weekend and I’d just be posting their schedule with no commentary. If you haven’t realized, I only comment on fresh programming. The first year I did this I nearly lost my mind trying to come up with stuff to say about the sixteenth showing of Syfy’s Original Movie: Pythonaconda IV: The Swampening.
So this is Scarecrow. The problem here is that there are a lot of movies called Scarecrow and I don’t have a clue which one this is. It’s probably not the 1973 version, as Syfy seems to hate dipping into horror’s past unless they absolutely have to. My hurried and lazy research reveals that there could be three different post-millennium Scarecrows – 2002, 2013, and 2014. I hope it’s the 2014 one because that one has Lacey Chabert in it. I’ve only seen her in a couple of things, but I feel like her potential hasn’t really been tapped. I’m not saying she’s the next Meryl Streep or anything, but she’s pretty entertaining. Also, she never had a public display of losing her mind like some of her contemporaries.
Oct 18 09:00 PM Syfy Original Movie Finder's Keepers
I almost skipped this one because I thought I had already made the joke about it being a sequel to Jeepers Creepers. Then I realized that was actually Heebie Jeebies and this is a whole different movie, possibly about the guy that found the Apple guy’s eyeballs and used them for his own nefarious purposes.
I can’t help but notice the apostrophe that wouldn’t normally be there. It’s clever if it isn’t a mistake.
Oct 18 11:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Fog, The
Oct 18 01:00 AM Syfy Original Movie Finder's Keepers
Oct 18 03:00 AM Syfy Original Movie Scarecrow
Oct 18 05:00 AM The Twilight Zone The Bewitchin' Pool
Oct 18 05:30 AM The Twilight Zone Where Is Everybody
Oct 19 06:00 AM Paid Programming
Oct 19 09:00 AM Scare Tactics The Happening Again
Oct 19 09:30 AM Scare Tactics Party Till You Nuke
Oct 19 10:00 AM Scare Tactics The Collector
Oct 19 10:30 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Uninvited, The
Oct 19 12:30 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Reaping, The
Oct 19 02:30 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Let Me In
I couldn’t stand the slow-paced original, so I didn’t bother with this one. I heard it was similar in all the wrong ways. After watching the Carrie remake, however, I kind of want to see it. I thoroughly enjoyed that one up until the last ten minutes or so and I thought that Chloë Grace-Moretz was phenomenal; far outshining Sissy Spacek. In general I vastly preferred the more recent Carrie over the original.
Oh, and this is another pretty good programming choice for Syfy. It’s less than five years old and was fairly well received. Also, I doubt there was much that had to be cut for television.
Oct 19 05:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
I can’t remember if Syfy has already shown this one this year, but just in case I’ll mention again that I love this movie and am totally bummed that it didn’t do well enough to spawn the planned sequels.
Oct 19 07:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Birth
Nicole Kidman believes that a ten year old boy is her reincarnated husband. I AM SURE THAT THIS WON’T GET AT ALL ICKY.
Oct 19 09:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Lost Souls
This sounds great! I can’t remember seeing it or even hearing of it. It’s from 2000 and stars Wynona Ryder (Lydia), Ben Chaplin (uh… Brian from The Truth About Cats and Dogs), John Hurt (The War Doctor), and one of my personal favorite actors of all time – Elias Koteas (CASEY JONES)! It’s about a group of people that believe that Satan is going to rip off God’s Jesus plan and I totally want to watch it.
Oct 19 11:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Revenant, The
I love the word “revenant”. So much so that I worked it into the wrestler Stryknyn’s introduction – I refer to him as “The Revenant of Rage” because of the Red Lantern tattoo he has. But the word is cool and sinister and any word with “r” and ”v” in it sounds serious. Look – revolver, revolting, revenge, revelation, reverse. Okay, maybe not any word.
Oct 19 01:30 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Lost Souls
Oct 19 03:30 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Uninvited, The
Oct 19 05:30 AM Tz: Cable In The Classroom A Penny For Your Thoughts
Oct 20 06:00 AM Paid Programming
Oct 20 08:00 AM Scare Tactics Ghoul Bus 2
Oct 20 08:30 AM Syfy Original Movie Ghouls
Oct 20 10:30 AM Syfy Original Movie Boogeyman