Shane
Morton has been a fixture of the Atlanta scene for pretty much all of
his adult life. From rock n’ roll to tattooing to haunted
attractions, he’s always stayed busy and contributed to many
different art forms.
 |
|
Me
and Professor Morté on the run
from maniacs at MCW at Six Flags Over Georgia!
|
So
listen in as Phantom and Shane talk tattoos, haunts, and rock n’
roll!
This
episode is sponsored by AtlantaZombie Apocalypse.
Join us for our final year of creating the most unique and innovative
haunted attraction in the Southeast! And be sure to come out for the
grand finale on November 1st
for the grand return of Atlanta’s own Monster Bash!
“Procrastibate”
by LeSexoflex.com
“Goatsucker
Fever” by Super X-13
Needless
Things V. 31 Days of Halloween
Every October for the
last few years Needless Things has provided commentary on SyFy’s –
the television channel devoted to science fiction (sort of) –
schedule. Not because the channel provides the best Halloween
content, but because they provide the most.
Aside from some paid programming in the wee hours of the morning
(because somebody
has to pay for Sharknado
3: Again With This?),
SyFy makes an effort to program content that is at least
Halloween-ish every hour of the month.
It
is for this that we thank them and devote far more effort than we
should into dissecting what they have to offer.
Oct
17 10:30 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Wes Craven Presents: Dracula
II: Ascension
As
I mentioned earlier this month, Wes Craven hasn’t always made the
best movies. I don’t fault him for this. They can’t all be
winners or to my taste or whatever the problem is. But with his own
track record being so questionable I am hesitant to put any kind of
stock into something he is just presenting. And I’m honestly not
even sure what this is part two of.
Okay,
I had to look it up, which is something I don’t often do. This is
the sequel to Dracula
2000.
It and Dracula
III
were directed by the original film’s director, Patrick Lussier, a
protégé of Craven’s. Lussier also directed Drive
Angry,
which I’ll talk about in a minute.
The
point of all this is that maybe I need to give these direct-to-video
sequels a chance.
Oct
17 12:30 PM Syfy Original Movie Battledogs
Oct
17 02:30 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Drive Angry
I
fucking
love
this movie. It’s completely batshit insane and nobody but Nicholas
Cage could have starred in it. If you haven’t already seen it, DO
NOT watch it on Syfy. There’s too much fucked up stuff you’ll
miss, including the greatest sex scene ever filmed. Seriously.
Oct
17 04:30 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Hellboy
Oct
17 07:00 PM Haven The Old Switcheroo - Part 2
Oct
17 08:00 PM WWE Smackdown 101714
Oct
17 10:00 PM Z Nation Resurrection Z
Oct
17 11:00 PM Town Of The Living Dead Dong Of The Dead
…what?
Can you even call a cable show “Dong of the Dead”? I know Beth
didn’t enjoy this one, but I still want to check it out. Especially
knowing that there’s an episode with this awesome title.
Oct
17 11:30 PM Town Of The Living Dead Zombie Karate
Oct
17 12:00 AM Z Nation Resurrection Z
Oct
17 01:00 AM Haven The Old Switcheroo - Part 2
Oct
17 02:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Dracula 2000
Oct
17 04:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Wes Craven Presents: Dracula
II: Ascension
Oct
18 06:00 AM Paid Programming
Oct
18 09:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Stephen King's Rose Red - Part
1
Oct
18 11:00 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Stephen King's Rose Red - Part
2
Oct
18 01:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Stephen King's Rose Red - Part
3
Oct
18 03:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Reaping, The
Oct
18 05:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Fog, The
Oct
18 07:00 PM Syfy Original Movie Scarecrow
Phew.
I was worried Syfy wasn’t going to show anything new all weekend
and I’d just be posting their schedule with no commentary. If you
haven’t realized, I only comment on fresh programming. The first
year I did this I nearly lost my mind trying to come up with stuff to
say about the sixteenth showing of Syfy’s
Original Movie: Pythonaconda IV: The Swampening.
So
this is Scarecrow.
The problem here is that there are a lot of movies called Scarecrow
and I don’t have a clue which one this is. It’s probably not the
1973 version, as Syfy seems to hate dipping into horror’s past
unless they absolutely have to. My hurried and lazy research reveals
that there could be three different post-millennium Scarecrows
– 2002, 2013, and 2014. I hope it’s the 2014 one because that one
has Lacey Chabert in it. I’ve only seen her in a couple of things,
but I feel like her potential hasn’t really been tapped. I’m not
saying she’s the next Meryl Streep or anything, but she’s pretty
entertaining. Also, she never had a public display of losing her mind
like some of her contemporaries.
Oct
18 09:00 PM Syfy Original Movie Finder's Keepers
I
almost skipped this one because I thought I had already made the joke
about it being a sequel to Jeepers
Creepers.
Then I realized that was actually Heebie
Jeebies
and this is a whole different movie, possibly about the guy that
found the Apple guy’s eyeballs and used them for his own nefarious
purposes.
I
can’t help but notice the apostrophe that wouldn’t normally be
there. It’s clever if it isn’t a mistake.
Oct
18 11:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Fog, The
Oct
18 01:00 AM Syfy Original Movie Finder's Keepers
Oct
18 03:00 AM Syfy Original Movie Scarecrow
Oct
18 05:00 AM The Twilight Zone The Bewitchin' Pool
Oct
18 05:30 AM The Twilight Zone Where Is Everybody
Oct
19 06:00 AM Paid Programming
Oct
19 09:00 AM Scare Tactics The Happening Again
Oct
19 09:30 AM Scare Tactics Party Till You Nuke
Oct
19 10:00 AM Scare Tactics The Collector
Oct
19 10:30 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Uninvited, The
Oct
19 12:30 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Reaping, The
Oct
19 02:30 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Let Me In
I
couldn’t stand the slow-paced original, so I didn’t bother with
this one. I heard it was similar in all the wrong ways. After
watching the Carrie
remake, however, I kind of want to see it. I thoroughly enjoyed that
one up until the last ten minutes or so and I thought that Chloë
Grace-Moretz was phenomenal; far outshining Sissy Spacek. In general
I vastly preferred the more recent Carrie
over the original.
Oh,
and this is another pretty good programming choice for Syfy. It’s
less than five years old and was fairly well received. Also, I doubt
there was much that had to be cut for television.
Oct
19 05:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's
Assistant
I
can’t remember if Syfy has already shown this one this year, but
just in case I’ll mention again that I love this movie and am
totally bummed that it didn’t do well enough to spawn the planned
sequels.
Oct
19 07:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Birth
Nicole
Kidman believes that a ten year old boy is her reincarnated husband.
I AM SURE THAT THIS WON’T GET AT ALL ICKY.
Oct
19 09:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Lost Souls
This
sounds great!
I can’t remember seeing it or even hearing of it. It’s from 2000
and stars Wynona Ryder (Lydia), Ben Chaplin (uh… Brian from The
Truth About Cats and Dogs),
John Hurt (The War Doctor), and one of my personal favorite actors of
all time – Elias Koteas (CASEY JONES)! It’s about a group of
people that believe that Satan is going to rip off God’s Jesus plan
and I totally want to watch it.
Oct
19 11:00 PM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Revenant, The
I
love the word “revenant”. So much so that I worked it into the
wrestler Stryknyn’s introduction – I refer to him as “The
Revenant of Rage” because of the Red Lantern tattoo he has. But the
word is cool and sinister and any word with “r” and ”v” in it
sounds serious. Look – revolver, revolting, revenge, revelation,
reverse. Okay, maybe not any
word.
Oct
19 01:30 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Lost Souls
Oct
19 03:30 AM 31 Days Of Halloween Movie Uninvited, The
Oct
19 05:30 AM Tz: Cable In The Classroom A Penny For Your Thoughts
Oct
20 06:00 AM Paid Programming
Oct
20 08:00 AM Scare Tactics Ghoul Bus 2
Oct
20 08:30 AM Syfy Original Movie Ghouls
Oct
20 10:30 AM Syfy Original Movie Boogeyman
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