Batman (1966) Season 1, Episode
5 - "The Joker is Wild"
Our story begins at
Gotham State Penitentiary, where a game of softball is underway. Now
pitching: The Joker! Some have suggested that the Joker is more of a
catcher, but I believe he's equally comfortable in either
role.
And while we're on
the subject, it's important to remember that this series was
conceived from the word "jump" to have both colorful
adventures to appeal to kids (>raises hand< it's impossible to
overstate just how enthralled with this show I was as a child), AND
more subversive humor that adults would appreciate. I mention all
that at this juncture because there is NO WAY the word "penology"
would be used that many times in the space of two minutes unless it
was on-purpose.
"He sprung
himself!" Heh; I see what you did there.
By the way, have I
mentioned yet that the Batmobile (designed by George Barris) is
completely fucking beautiful? Because it is. It may have been my
first step toward the belief that design IS what art WAS.
Nice nod to Ernie
Kovacs in the museum scene. I approve.
I don't know about
y'all, but I am shaking like a junkie for the upcoming Blu-Ray
release of this show. I eagerly look forward to the day when I can
pause one of the Joker's close-ups, so I can sit next to the TV, and
lovingly stroke each and every High-Definition whisker in Cesar
Romero's poorly-concealed mustache.
Dude, calling
YOURSELF "the Clown Prince of Crime" is a douche move. What
are you, The Situation?
So, the Joker has
decided that Batman's such a thorn in his side because of Bats' belt
full of nifty doodads, and that he should fight fire with fire by
putting together his own Joker-centric utility belt (and I do mean
Joker-centric; his own damn face is on the buckle). I REALLY
wish this plot had been recycled for the 90's Batman: The Animated
Series; I can only imagine what amazing hijinks Paul Dini and
Bruce Timm would have had with this concept.
Commissioner, sir,
I don't mean to contradict you and your many years of law-enforcement
experience; but, I don't think a brick, with a clown doll tied to it,
hurled through your office window constitutes the Joker
"subconsciously pointing toward his next crime."
But, then, I'm not a top cop.
Bruce Wayne: "I wonder
if I might have that doll, as a souvenir."
Commissioner Gordon: "I
don't see why not."
Note that this is
the part about 11-12 minutes into the average episode of Forensic
Files where the case seems hopelessly cold, and there's not a
clue to be found.
Another common
thing found in episodes of Batman is just how helpfully
everything is labelled, both in the BatCave and in the villains'
various lairs. I'm pretty sure this level of safety-mindedness goes
above and beyond the requirements of OSHA.
And am I alone in
wishing the "Hyper-Spectrographic Analyzer" could talk?
"You guys! Guys! Guys! You will not BELIEVE what is going on
spectrographically with this doll! Omigod, you guys!"
Jesus. After 70+
years, how is the Joker not COMPLETELY SICK of I Pagliacci?
Also, how can any traveling company of Pagliacci afford the
MASSIVE insurance premiums that would surely result from being
constantly targeted for wacky criminal activity by the same lunatic
with a "tragic clown" fetish?
Gotta say: Not
feeling the cliffhanger on this particular episode. I mean,
threatening to unmask the Dynamic Duo on live TV is a time-honored
chestnut; but I'd take it a lot more seriously if they weren't just
being loosely held at the upper arms by a couple of dudes.
Batman (1966) Season 1, Episode
6 - "Batman Is Riled"
Before I get into
this episode itself, I wanted to take a moment to give kudos to IFC
for how it handled this marathon. First off, if they time-compressed
the episodes to fit into the modern cable-TV half-hour, it's not
intrusive at all. Also, they didn't awkwardly insert commercial
breaks at weird places not in the original program (yeah, I'm lookin'
at YOU, BBC America). Finally, they haven't been skipping ahead in
the order (at least not yet); this has afforded me the opportunity to
view the show's evolution in the smallest possible scale. They also
kept the original aspect ratio, and didn't stretch a 4:3 show to fit
widescreen TVs (yeah, I'm lookin' at YOU, Food Network and The
Cooking Channel).
Batman being
stymied by smoke pellets (from the Joker's own utility belt). Oh, the
irony!
Dude! There you go
AGAIN, calling yourself "the Clown Prince of Crime." I'm
serious now; you've gotta cut it out, or we maybe can't be friends
anymore.
Batman flying up a
rope (as he does when there's no wall to scale) is certainly cheesy,
but it's not one bit less cheesy when done with CG.
Cool! The
self-tying-up confetti bit in Joker's belt is actually a pretty
inspired effect.
I love how, after a
while, the fact that virtually every single bit of automotive
business is optically sped up becomes something the viewer no longer
pays attention to.
Anytime an old-time
TV show features a white guy in a suit delivering the news from
behind an old-time news desk, all I can picture now is Aaron Sorkin
at home, furiously spanking it for the duration of said scene.
News interviewer: "Commissioner
Gordon, have Batman and Boy Wonder finally met their match?"
Gordon: "Well, let me
say this, Fred: I-I'd hate to think so."
Geez, Commish,
thanks for the pep talk! Do you coach Little League in your spare
time? Cuz I'm sure Batman and Robin are now ready to charge back out
on the field, with a renewed sense of vigor and purpose. :b
Newscaster: "In this
hour of peril and need, perhaps all our prayers are best summed up by
my small son, Harold, just eight years old. Kneeling beside his
little bed, hands clasped reverently before him, he said, 'God bless
mommy, God bless daddy, God bless my dog Spot, and please, Batman,
whoever you are behind that mask of yours, please save us.'"
(whatever you do at this juncture, avoid picturing Aaron Sorkin
approaching climax, at all costs)
For crying out
loud, Harold, when Batman said "Pray to me!" in Batman
Begins, he was trying to scare the pants off a criminal; he
didn't mean it literally (and he's sorry you overheard that whole
thing).
The Joker hijacking
a television broadcast is an old familiar standby, and makes me all
warm inside. His then staging a parody of What's My Line is
the icing on the gravy.
I know I've made
this point before, but the fight choreography on this show is all but
guaranteed to result in injury.
I don't miss
newspapers at all, but I still have a soft spot for the spinning
headline.
A quick note on the
henchmen of Batman: All the villains seem to have them, and
they're all virtually interchangeable. I'm rapidly developing the
theory that Batman was the Law & Order of pasty,
craggy, middle-aged white guys; i.e., everybody did their time there
in the late 60s.
So, your master
plan is to overcome Batman and Robin with a sleeping-gas Champaign
cork at the ship christening they're scheduled to conduct? Well, it
has the virtue of having never been tried, I guess...
And speaking of the
ship christening...
Random Guy In Crowd: "Hey,
what are you two guys doin' out here, when the Joker's out there
takin' over the city?"
That, citizen, is a
COMPLETELY FAIR question. Random Guy for mayor!
"Egads! What
sorcery is this?" Thank you, Joker, for the notable quotable of
the entire episode.
C'mon, Batman.
You're already beating the living stew out of the Crown Prince of
Crime (see, Joker? It's perfectly okay if SOMEONE ELSE calls you
that); do you have to simultaneously humiliate the poor bastard, by
breathlessly explaining just how you outsmarted him? Let the Joker
take his whuppin' with some dignity, willya? He already knows he's
got it coming; mastermind-shaming him seems excessive.
The Joker, foiled
by his own utility belt? Oh, the irony!
Dear Gotham State Penitentiary;
Please consider NOT putting the
Joker back in the minimum-security wing this time. Assholes.
No love,
Geena
#samebattimesamebatchannel
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