I
am going to do my best to keep this a bit more brief than I usually
do. Typically my Dragon Con recaps span around four days of posts and
that’s just absurd. But every year I say I’m going to tighten
them up and it never happens.
Let’s
see how I do this time around.
I
arrived at Con this year earlier than I ever have. I got to the
Hilton right before noon on Thursday. They had this thing set up
where if you were a guest you got a voucher when you checked in. This
voucher would guarantee you a room for 2015 as long as you redeemed
it whenever they started redeeming them that weekend. I was thrilled
to see they already had a desk set up for this, so as soon as I had
my room key I took my luggage and got in line.
I’m
not usually much of a line talker; especially when I’m not in my
Phantom gimmick. But I was really excited to be at Con so early and
to be able to get stuff done. As a result I was pretty chatty. In the
check-in line I spoke with an older gentleman in a Utilikilt who was
just as excited as I was and had all kinds of questions about how
long I’d been coming and what I was doing. He was from somewhere in
the North and was accompanied by folks from Washington (the state –
I asked for clarification) and Oregon. Once we got up front I bid him
farewell and gave him the valediction I got from my Dragon Con
mentor, Mr. Beau Brown – “Have a great Con!” I now say this
every time I part company with a newfound acquaintance – groups in
elevators, people in lines, drunks on bathroom floors.
In
the voucher redemption line I met a guy from elsewhere in the country
– Nevada or some such – and we talked about our histories at Con.
I felt like our interests lined up a bit, so I pitched my panels to
him and gave him a card. It turned out he already had Whose EFF and
the Conan panel marked in the Dragon Con app. I was ecstatic. That’s
happened a couple of times before and it’s always a good feeling.
Despite the fact that the people are clearly going for the subject
and not for me, it shows that the app does work and that every panel
has a fair chance to be seen and attended by everybody.
I
got through the line and got my room for next year. Well, I hope
I did. I have a goldenrod carbon copy that says that I did and
confirmation should arrive within the next two weeks. I won’t be
one hundred percent comfortable until I have that e-mail.
It
took two trips to my car to get all of my luggage, stuff for panels,
and beer. While I don’t necessarily relish the extra trips, I do
like the fact that I have a reason to bring so much extra crap. It
makes me feel all important and stuff. I had all of the prizes for
Whose EFF and the 25th
Anniversary showing of THINGS.
I did not have my usual supply of toys because the toy panel did not
happen this year. A lot of people have asked why and all you really
need to know is there was a scheduling snafu and the fine folks over
at RetroBlasting ended up doing it. And I am totally okay with that.
Bless their hearts for taking it over and putting on such a thorough
presentation.
Guest
badge pickup wasn’t until 2 PM, so I had some time to unpack and
get situated. After that I made my way over to the Marriott. I did
some last-minute printing before I left the house and I’m glad that
I did. The first thing was my early check-in confirmation for the
Hilton. The second was an e-mail from Miss Lady Flex about the Whose
EFF segments. The third was my Attending Professional confirmation
from Dragon Con. That came in particularly handy because they had a
heck of a time finding my badge and packet. I have no idea why. But
once I gave them the e-mail they found it fairly quickly. That yellow
“Professional” ribbon was a lot more satisfying than the “Media”
one from last year. Given the choice I’d much rather be up on stage
than sitting here at a keyboard. Also, this was the first year they
actually printed “Phantom Troublemaker” on my badge rather than
my real name.
Now
that I was properly badged up, I threw a hood on and headed to the
American Sci-Fi Classics track room to see if my personal heroes Gary
and Joe were there yet. They weren’t, but the A/V folks were
setting up. I asked them about hooking up a laptop and they said if I
could bring the laptop to the room they’d check it right then and
it would allow them to check out their setup as well. It was no big
deal (on Thursday at 2:30) to run back to the Hilton and grab my
laptop from the room, so I did it. I don’t think it took me fifteen
minutes, round trip. At any other point over the weekend it would
have been at least half an hour.
I
have to say, I was quite proud of myself for “helping” with
that. I also brought my Needless Things banner and Whose EFF posters
down to the room to hang them up. I love the fact that every picture
from the Classics track has my stuff in the background.
I’m
still getting the hang of Thursday night. Two years ago I overdid it
and missed out on Friday stuff. Last year I paced myself and had a
fun night without repercussions the next morning. This year I got
shitfaced. It was a bad decision, though one I didn’t necessarily
make consciously. I mean, those Trader Vic’s Mai Tais are really
good. So a couple of those combined with six or eight of my beloved
Miller Lites were enough to have a very strange effect on me.
I
got back to my room around 3 AM, not feeling too bad. I flossed
(possibly the last time I did all weekend) and brushed and laid down.
And as soon as I laid down I realized I was fucked
up. I
lay there for a little while, trying to decide if I should go and
throw up or not (as one does). Eventually I gave in and went to the
bathroom to attempt to expel the foul spirits from my system.
No
dice.
For
whatever reason, I couldn’t get myself to spew. And believe me - I
tried.
I
went and laid back down, hoping the soothing dorkiness of Dragon Con
TV might lull me to sleep. I think I went out for a while, but at
some point I woke up to see myself on TV. This was not some drunken
fever dream – it was the sketch I was part of for DCTV!
I popped up
and watched myself give a not-quite-big-enough performance while my
two hilarious co-stars battled. I tried to settle down after that,
but come 7 AM I was still wide awake and utterly nauseous with a
splitting headache. And no Ibuprofen.
Side
Notes: 1) I did not bring Ibuprofen or spoons. Those were the only
things I forgot. 2) That was the only time all
weekend
that I saw my sketch. I never got the opportunity to record it, which
bummed me out.
I
have never been drunk/hung over in that manner before and it sucked.
Eventually I fell asleep somehow, but I didn’t wake up until around
1 PM. It wasn’t as big of a deal this year as it was 2 years ago
because I didn’t plan on spending much time in the Dealers Hall
this year. Funds were super tight thanks to one calamity after
another (so tight that I skipped buying new Godzilla toys on the way
into work today and I am still kicking myself over it). But I
definitely missed some quality walking around time and didn’t make
it to Artists Alley until Sunday.
Hey,
it could have been worse. I could have been sitting outside of my
hotel room, puking on the floor at 3 PM on Thursday. I hear that
happened. To somebody. But certainly not anybody I would associate
with.
Come back Thursday for more!
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