FRIDAY
When
I did finally wake up on Friday afternoon I felt fine. No headache,
nothing. No indication that I had been in some kind of weird, drunken
mindwarp the previous night.
I
made myself some oatmeal (which I had to eat without the assistance
of a spoon), cleaned myself up, and went to wander around a bit
before DCW. I was going to need to be there a little early this year
because there was a possibility that Monstrosity Championship
Wrestling was going to put on a couple of matches. I didn’t know if
I would be doing my ring announcing thing or maybe managing somebody
or what. It turned out to be a much bigger deal than that.
Dragon
Con Wrestling
Most
of the DCW guys know me now because of the wacky write-ups I do every
year. And also because of the DCW Hooligans, the crew of around forty
people that sit front row every year and are really
obnoxious. I’ve gotten to know the wrestlers a little more over the
past couple of years thanks to working with a lot of the boys at MCW
and last year I formally met AJ and Tiny (the guys that run the DCW
shows) for the first time. They welcomed me backstage and let me
cordon off a section for the Hooligans.
This
year they asked me to do commentary.
This
was a huge honor. To me (and the rest of the Hooligans), DCW is
bigger than WrestleMania. I mean, logically
I know it isn’t, but if I had to choose between watching DCW and
watching WrestleMania, I would watch DCW. It’s that big of a deal.
And that much fun. Which was kind of the problem. If I was going to
be doing commentary I wasn’t going to be able to hang out with the
Hooligans and enjoy the show. I also wasn’t going to be able to
take pictures and make notes for my recap. This is what I told AJ at
first, but after thinking about it I went back and told him I’d do
it. I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be a part of that
show.
I
got to walk out to the DCW theme music – “Connection” by
Elastica – alongside Tiny and AJ at the opening of the show. I got
to stand in the ring with the DCW Hall of Famers as the new inductees
were honored. And I got to sit at the DCW English Announcers Table
and call the action for the entire show.
It
took me awhile to figure out exactly what I was supposed to be doing.
DCW doesn’t operate quite like any other wrestling company. There’s
no ring announcer (which is the position I am most comfortable with)
and the commentary tends to be much more sporadic. But after a couple
of matches I got used to it and had a pretty good back and forth
going with Tiny. I feel like we had a pretty good jokey chemistry.
Granted,
nobody heard us because the Hyatt Centennial Ballroom has a shitty
sound system, but it was still exhilarating. I’ll admit – after a
few matches I was really missing the Hooligans and wishing I was
across the room. But looking back I have to say that I’m glad I sat
at that table and was a part of the show. And as the last match
started, I turned to Tiny and told him that this one was just too
damn big and I was going to have to return to my crew. I got up,
grabbed my beer bag, and went back home to the Hooligans. Who were
eagerly hitting each other in the heads with signs, spatulas, and
whatever else they could get their hands on. And once again some
idiot knocked my beer out of my hand.
Puppet
IMPROV! For Adults
After
DCW I had business. Serious Puppet Business. There was puppet improv
in the Hyatt at 11:30 and there was no way I was going to miss it
after last year’s installment was one of my favorite things at Con.
I
had the good fortune to run into Cousin Bill en route to the puppet
show and invited him along. One of the most important things I
learned at Dragon Con 2014 was this:
The
best times you have at Dragon Con are the ones where you are helping
people enjoy Dragon Con.
Whether
it’s putting on a show, exposing someone to something new, helping
someone get on a panel, guiding people to different parts of Con, or
even just helping people set a room up. The very best times I had
were those.
Cousin
Bill and I were recruited to help set the room up for puppet improv
since the hotel staff hadn’t. This involved resetting every chair
in the room and pulling stacks of more chairs out of the back. It was
not-fun labor that had to be done very quickly – the sort of thing
I usually hate. But I loved every minute of it because I knew it was
for Dragon Con.
Once
the room was set and the doors opened, I had the pleasure of watching
one of the best things at Con next to Beau Brown, my Dragon Con
mentor, and Cousin Bill, who had never seen anything like this
before. We watched as Lucky Yates, Stacey Gordon (from the Puppetry Track episode of the Needless Things Podcast),
Mark Meer, Alison Mork, Victor Yerrid, Donna Kimball, and Paul
McGinnis put on one of the most entertaining shows I have seen.
Puppet
improv is very similar to standard improv. Various games are played
and suggestions are taken from the audience to enhance the
experience. I was very proud that one of my suggestions was used –
and to hilarious effect. They needed a reason for a guy to love a
girl and I yelled out, “Because her feet smell good!” They took
it.
The
performers have access to a massive pile of puppets. For each game
they select a random puppet and put it to use. You’d think the
appearance of the puppet might matter, but it doesn’t. The
puppeteers’ performance is everything. The stage is set up in such
a way that you get to see the puppeteers as they control their
puppets, but you can also watch the puppets as they would be seen on
television or in a theater thanks to a huge screen to stage left.
This is one of my favorite aspects of the two years of puppet improv
that I’ve seen. I love being able to watch the puppeteers’
different styles as they work. It’s fascinating to me to see them
operate the rods and mouths while assuming various stances and to a
certain extent acting out their roles beyond what would normally be
the view of the camera. It’s like a DVD special feature.
Over
the course of an hour, a packed room of 500 people laughed
hysterically as seven incredibly talented puppeteers took on every
improv challenge and created an unforgettable show.
After
you finish reading this I recommend you go to Puppets N’ Shit
on YouTube. It will give you a pretty good idea of how awesome
puppetry can be if you don’t already know. The Lucas interviews are
outstanding. I could watch them all day.
Go
to Puppet Improv next year. Heck, find a place local to you that
hosts it. There are Puppet Slams all over the place. It really is
something that should be experienced at least once by everyone. If
you’ve ever laughed at the Muppets, if you were oddly transfixed by
Sifl & Olly, if Meet
the Feebles
left you wanting more; find a way to see some live puppetry. You
won’t be sorry.
***
After
Puppet Improv I went back to The Spot in the Marriott for some people
watching, only to discover that The Spot was now occupied by a bar.
That might seem cool, but we Hooligans are a wise bunch who do not
spend money on alcohol at Con; therefore a bar in our spot is nothing
more than an obstruction.
I
should go ahead and point out the fact that I did not take very many
pictures this year. I think I barely took over a hundred between my
phone and my camera. I was a lot better about posting stuff during
Con, but that was mostly because I actually had a signal almost
everywhere; even in the track room. I was quite surprised to be able
to upload this awesome video at one point:
Post by El Phantasmas.
I
think my picture slacking was partially due to a feeling of having
seen it all. While there were a lot of fantastic costumes, there are
so many
that you see year after year. And it’s not that they aren’t
great, but how many pictures of Steampunk Batman do I really need?
Another
factor in my photographic decline was not wanting to deal with the
pressure and time gobbling of trying to take a bunch of awesome
pictures. I had enough going on this year that I didn’t want that.
If you don’t know what I mean, allow me to explain:
You’re
standing in the Marriott enjoying an adult beverage and talking with
friends. Then you see somebody in a perfect Dynamo costume. They’re
all chubby and the costume lights up and everything. You not only
want a picture of
that, you want a picture with
that. You find something to do with your beverage, you get your
camera out, turn it on, get Dynamo’s attention, get somebody to
take the picture, show them how to use your camera, pose, have the
picture taken, realize that the last picture you took was outside so
the flash wasn’t on, turn the flash on, take the picture again,
tell Dynamo how awesome he (or she) looks, tell them to have a great
Con, thank the person that took the picture, get your camera back,
turn it off, get your beverage, apologize to your friend for
interrupting your conversation about how amazing Inhumanoids were,
and then get back to drinking.
IT’S
FUCKING EXHAUSTING.
And
I used to do this four
hundred times per Con.
I
just couldn’t do it this year. There were a few instances where I
felt sassy enough to go to all the trouble, but for the most part I
snapped the occasional lazy picture and moved on.
Oh,
and the final factor is my shitty photography. So many times the one
picture I really wanted turns out blurry. I often take two pictures,
just to be sure. That’s when this happens:
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