Featuring
the meandering thoughts of guest Phantomanic Needless Things reporter
extraordinaire Liz.
"A
straight line may be the shortest distance between two points,
but it is by no means the most interesting." ~ The 3rd
Doctor
The hotel check-in line.
The registration line.
The Chick-Fil-A line.
The Atrium Ballroom Line.
The Regency Ballroom Line.
The line for the bathroom.
The line for the escalator.
The line to get out of the escalator
line.
The line for the next escalator.
The Starbucks line. The Habit Trail
lines. The Walk of Fame lines. The Blood Donation lines. The
photography lines. Lines you expected to be in. Lines you didn’t
know you were in. Lines that you breeze past on your way to your own
line.
After four years at Dragon Con I was a
master of lines. A line master. A grand pooba of lines and waiting in
lines. I had line snacks. Reading material for getting to a line
early. Directions to get to my line. Directions for those who stopped
to ask me where the end of the line was. A camera to take crazy
pictures of the line. I usually forget the comfortable shoes for
standing in line part though.
And THEN. I remember it like it was
yesterday. Dragon Con Registration Line – 2012.
I knew something was wrong as I
approached the Sheraton. Where was the line wrapping around the
outside of the building? Had registration been cancelled? Was I here
on the wrong day?! Was I in an episode of the Twilight Zone where I’m
the only person left on earth?!?! Hmmmm…
Once inside the Sheraton I noticed
something strange. Colored lines on the floor. Maybe they’d been
there in the past guiding people onwards to certain registration
lines but I was used to following other people. Where were the
people.
Once I stepped inside the ballroom I
realized what was going on. ALTERNATE REALITY. Image a reality where
you visit a convention and THERE ARE NO LINES. What was I going to do
with the snacks jammed in my bag? How was I going to finish the new
book I had grabbed? How was I going to catch up with the LAST YEAR of
my friends’ lives WITHOUT my registration line time?
2012 was the year that Dragon Con
implemented some new registration procedures which resulted in an
alternate reality where I did not stand in line at all to get my
badge (is it a real, authentic Dragon Con badge if you didn’t stand
in line for it?). I mistakenly thought that it would be like this
every year after. And while that would not be true I’ve never had
to stand in a registration line for more than an hour or so since
2012.
Despite the thrill of NOT being in line
for that single, fleeting moment of time back in 2012 I love my
Dragon Con lines.
“
Straight lines go too quickly to
appreciate the pleasures of the journey. They rush straight to their
target and then die in the very moment of their triumph without
having thought, loved, suffered or enjoyed themselves. Broken lines
do not know what they want. With their caprices they cut time up,
abuse routes, slash the joyous flowers and split the peaceful fruits
with their corners. It is another story with curved lines. The song
of the curved line is called happiness.” - René
Crevel
Tips for Being in Line:
Know when to sit, when to stand and
when to MOVE.
Bring a book or word puzzles or brain
teasers.
Make a friend. Make several friends
(they come in handy if you have to leave one line for the other, ie
your current line to the bathroom line and back).
Bring water (not soda).
Know where your line begins.
Shower/deodorant. PLEASE.
Don’t freak out when your line wraps
around two or three corners of the building. Most of the ballrooms
are HUGE.
Here’s a scale
for judging where you’ll be in a large ballroom by which corner of
the building you are nearest:
1st corner of the building =
Front third of the room
2nd corner of the building =
middle of the room
3rd corner of the building =
back of the room
4th corner of the building =
very back of the room
5th corner of the
building/you’re lining up next to your own line = you’re in line
for William Shatner, George Takai or the Mythbusters. Give up now.
Have fun.
After all, you never know when the
lines are going to disappear.