I
just got some very important, game-changing news and I’m sharing it
here first because you guys deserve that for being loyal readers.
I
had a lot of ideas for 2014 Dragon Con panels. I was talking about
the various toy panels as early as last year’s recaps. But over the
last few months a couple of new, very different ideas have come to
me. Two very specific things that I am incredibly excited about.
The
first actually came by way of Gary Mitchel, one of the Directors of
the American Sci-Fi Classics Track (the one I work with). I posted
something about THINGS
and he suggested that a Dragon Con screening of the movie might not
be out of the question. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to
someday have a public screening of THINGS.
Well, not lifelong, but ever since I first watched it with Beth V and
the other roommates back in the day I’ve wanted to share it in a
large venue. And there is no larger venue than Dragon Con.
Side
Note: If you don’t know about my love affair with the real
best worst movie ever, you can read about it here.
I will take the Pepsi Challenge with
THINGS
up
against any movie anybody can find. Unless I actually have to drink
Pepsi because that stuff tastes like ass.
Well,
Phantomaniacs, it is happening. Saturday night at Dragon Con 2014 I
will be showing the single most notable cinematic accomplishment of
my generation - THINGS.
I don’t have all of the details nailed down yet, but there will be
art, games, and
THINGS
.
BUT
THAT’S NOT ALL.
I
still need to figure out the programming order, but here’s what’s
what – I had this other idea, too. This other idea is something I
have been wanting to do for a few years now. Originally it would have
just been me and the Hooliganz hanging out somewhere. But this year I
realized that I could make my dream happen on a larger scale. I
pitched the idea to Gary and he pitched it to Joe and I
cannot believe this is happening.
But it is. It is happening so much, as a matter of fact, that the
Powers That Be have given me control of the American Sci-Fi Classics
room from 10 PM Saturday night until dawn on Sunday.
That’s
how good this idea is.
I
will be hosting a game show. A filthy
game show. I knew that I couldn’t do this on my own and that I
would need somebody fabulous beyond compare to share hosting duties.
No event this momentous could be managed by any one person, not even
the mighty luchadork himself, Phantom Troublemaker.
So
I dispersed missives to the far corners of the Earth, in search of
the only person that I knew would be able to help me. Only one being
could handle the burden of what I was proposing. Eventually my
signals returned from the aethersphere and I had the confirmation I
was seeking.
Phantomaniacs
– I am humbled and delighted to announce that my co-host is none
other than the Empress of Gigglebox Electrosex, the Queen of
Sillified Buttbeats, none other than the leader of the Sexxxiest Band
in the Whole Muthafuckin’ World, y’all…
Now
what, you may ask, are we hosting, exactly?
I’m
glad you asked.
We
will be hosting a game show sexxxperience that is truly like no
other. Miss Lady Flex and myself will be choosing contestants from
our LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE to participate in Whose
EFF Is It, Anyway?
Phantom Troublemaker, Miss Lady Flex, and our panel of Special Guest
Judges (TBA) will provide some of the filthiest, slimiest,
squickiest, most discomfiting Erotic Fan Fiction (EFF) from around
the internet. Each selection will be specially chosen and thoroughly
vetted for quality, grammar, plausibility, and outright shamefulness.
The contestants will be judged on their ability to read aloud our
various vile vignettes; categories will include Best Deadpan, Most
Enthusiastic, and Most Evident Suppression of Tears.
AND
THERE WILL BE FABULOUS PRIZES!
That’s
right, Phantomaniacs – Needless Things has teamed up with Stardust Atlanta
to create a lascivious selection of erotic and exotic prizes for
those lusty enough to compete in the filthiest game show around…
Whose
EFF Is It, Anyway?
It’s
too early for me to know the full slate of prizes and I am still
working with a few other entities to make sure we have enough booty
for all of the Dragon Conners that do the depraved duty, but I assure
you it will be worth your while to come out for this event!
We
are a mere… uh… less than 90 days from Dragon Con, so I’ll have
updates coming fast and furious from here on in. We should be just a
few weeks away from my review of the Progress Report and I am already
lining up interviews and podcasts. I have a feeling Needless Things
might be a little lighter than normal this year thanks to the
planning I am having to do for
Dragon Con, but I will still guarantee that we will provide more
coverage than any other site out there that isn’t DragonCon.org.
I
will be an Attending Professional this year and I am still putting my
schedule together. One thing I can tell you for sure is that I am
prioritizing my panels and appearances over all else. Except for DCW.
You can bet your sweet ass that Phantom Troublemaker, the DCW
Hooliganz, and all of the Phantomaniacs will be running wild in the
Hyatt Centennial Ballroom on Friday night. And I might
have a big DCW announcement coming soon. I’m still working that
angle.
This
year at Dragon Con, Phantomania will be OUT OF CONTROL, BROTHER.
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