Change
of plans, Phantomaniacs.
Today’s
post was going to be a list of favorite toy reviews from the past six
years of Needless Things (and MySpace). That was before I got this
new 43” Godzilla from JAKKS Pacific. Without giving the whole
review away, I was so excited about this thing that I didn’t want
to wait to review it. So I posed the question last night on Facebook
of whether I should do this or the toys post and everybody said I
should do this. I agree.
BUT
FIRST!
I
have some business to take care of. I am still begging for money –
more so now than before due a new development. We have a $700
Emergency Room bill to pay (thanks, “Affordable” Care Act!) and
$2400 worth of tree removing scheduled to happen so that our house
doesn’t end up looking like Godzilla visited. THINGS ARE NOT
LOOKING UP.
Anyway,
here’s the business stuff:
It’s
getting even more expensive to run this website and has gotten to the
point where I quite frankly can’t justify paying what the various
servers and hosts want. So in the post linked above I explained the
situation and asked if you folks could help out by buying merch from
here:
Straight-up
donating dollars here:
Or
just by sharing these fundraising posts all over the internet.
And
here’s a thing I’m going to try:
The
Needless Things Mystery Box!
It
could be toys, comics, books, t-shirts I’ve worn once or never
(that have been laundered! Or not if you’re weird!), or any one of
a number of weird tchotchkes laying around the Phantom Zone. There
will be a Needless Things sticker (or three) in every box.
Finally,
each Mystery Box will include a M.U.S.C.L.E decoration put together
by me! That's right – I used my own two hands and a pair of needle
nose pliers to screw an eyelet into each and every one.
WOW!
What a bunch of work that was!
Simply
go to needlessthings.storenvy.com and order yourself one (or more!)
Mystery Box! Believe me – I have a ton of cool stuff just sitting
around the Phantom Zone.
I’m
going to try mentioning this every day this week and see what
happens. If I don’t raise the funds needed to keep things going…
well, I don’t know. I love writing for the site and I love doing
the podcasts even more, but it might be nice to have all that time
and money. Doing this is essentially a second full time job that
doesn’t pay me anything. Quite the opposite, as a matter of fact.
But
what I really want is to be able to afford better hosting so that I
can do more. More episodes of the podcast. More con reports. More
everything. If you guys enjoy Needless Things and would like more, do
one or all of the things above.
Before
I get into this review, I want to point out the most important thing
about this toy – it signifies that we have all healed from the
awful abortion that was the 1998 Godzilla movie. It means that
retailers have finally recovered to the point that they will stock
Godzilla merchandise again (beyond Toys R Us’ normal lines of
Bandai merchandise). If the retailers have moved on, then so can we.
Let’s
just hope the new movie doesn’t suck.
I
did not want to get excited about the new Godzilla movie. Not just
because the last one sucked donkeys (and yeah, it still does – I
tried to watch it again recently and it’s bad), but because I
really hated Monsters,
Gareth Edwards’ last film. He’s the guy directing the new movie.
I wrote a review of Monsters,
but I cannot for the life of me find it. It’s pissing me off
because it was a really good review.
Over
the years I have lost a few things for one reason or another – a
smashed flash drive, poor saving practices, trying to copy something
and failing. I didn’t remember that review being one of those lost
things, but I sure can’t find it.
While
I am not a fan of Edwards’ previous work, I am a fan of Godzilla’s
previous work. I am not a rabid fan on par with Johnny Danger or
Shane Morton, but I have seen a lot of Godzilla films and have a love
for what they’re all about. I think I might love the concept
of Godzilla more than I love the movies themselves, though some of
them are fucking awesome – Godzilla
vs. Monster Zero,
Godzilla
2000,
and Destroy
All Monsters!
are my favorites. I just recently saw Godzilla
vs. Biollante
for the first time and it was pretty good, too.
I’ve
certainly had my share of Godzilla toys over the years. While I
haven’t ever invested in one of the crazy-articulated (and
crazy-expensive) SH MonsterArts figures from Bandai, I do have a
number of their larger and simpler vinyl figures. I’ve also got
quite a few smaller Godzillas from various companies. I just love the
look of the King of Monsters – he’s one of those characters that
I’ll often just pick up a toy of because it looks cool.
That
is definitely the case here. Well, because it looks cool and because
it’s HUGE.
I
can’t help but be excited about Godzilla.
Everything in the trailer fills me with hope except for one thing –
Bryan Cranston. I am extremely
conflicted about his presence in the movie. I know that sounds
completely insane. I love
Bryan Cranston just like everybody else does. I loved him in Malcolm
in the Middle
and Breaking
Bad.
Heck, he’s my pick to play Skeletor in any Masters of the Universe
movie that might happen.
But
my whole problem with Monsters
was that it was a movie about two assholes falling in love that
happened to have some monsters sort of roaming around in the
background. And eventually fucking. So to me the fact that Bryan
Cranston is in this movie suggests that Mister Lovey-Panties Gareth
Edwards is planning on focusing an awful lot of attention on humans.
Possibly to the detriment of the namesake of the film.
I
HOPE THAT I AM WRONG. Please let me be wrong. Let me eat my words. I
will henceforth refer to Gareth Edwards as King Badass Iron Pants of
Manly Island if I am wrong. But I have
to go into this thing aware of the possibility he’s going to make
another fucking romantic drama.
Regardless
of the quality of the movie, this Giant Size Godzilla from JAKKS
Pacific is an huge monster of a toy. But is it fit to be King?
FIRST
GLANCE
I
honestly wasn’t expecting much from the sculpt or paint on this
toy. Not to knock JAKKS, but I used to collect their wrestling
figures and let’s just say that they don’t care about innovation
and deco quite as much as Mattel does. Once I saw this Godzilla in
person I was pleasantly surprised by the level of detail and the
paint that I did see. Also, it is a gigantic figure. I love that
something this big can show up at retail. Fortunately for all of us,
JAKKS had already made in in-road with their line of giant-sized
licensed figures. Those huge Batmans, Power Rangers, and Darth Vaders
are what we have to thank for this Godzilla.
PACKAGING
This
is an oddly cool box. I love that the artwork is painted rather than
being computer-generated or just a picture of the toy. And the
old-school “picture of kid with toy” is great. Especially since
they got a particularly small kid to make Godzilla look even bigger
than he is.
The
graphic behind the “Giant Size Godzilla” banner are great. The
“Radioactive” symbol with the seismic waves running at the bottom
are subtle and look so cool.
“Tail
Installation” is a term I hope to see on many future toys.
Finally,
the synopsis on the back is an unexpected delight. Not only does it
give us more background on this iteration of Godzilla than any of the
trailers have, it also specifies the “threat to his survival from
an ancient foe”. The most recent trailer and the rest of the toy
line have made it clear that Godzilla will be battling another Kaiju
in this movie, but this is the first open reference to it being the
reason for Godzilla’s presence.
LOOKS
Godzilla
is 23” tall and 43” inches from head to tail. This toy is
insanely huge.
I
don’t know exactly what I was expecting from this, but it’s much
better-looking and, more importantly, sturdier than I thought it would
be. One of those giant-sized Batmans from JAKKS made its way into our house and
did not survive. The joints were weak and couldn’t stand up to Lil’
Troublemaker. That’s really saying something, because that kid has
grown up around all of the toys I collect and has been taught how to
handle things. He can play with a NECA or DC Collectibles release
with no problem, so if something breaks by his hand it’s
unacceptably fragile. Godzilla is not. All of the joints are thick
and sturdy and move well.
The
“Tail Installation” is quite easy. This piece comes in two parts
– the tip and the piece with the hinge. The hinge piece plugs into
the hole in the backside – stop it – and a twist locks it into
place. The tip plugs into the other side and stays put quite well.
The tip of the tail and the fins on Godzilla’s back are rubber,
while the rest of the toy is a rigid plastic, kind of like what the
old Shogun Warriors were made of. The coloring is done in such a way
that this isn’t all that apparent.
The
sculpt is nice. The scales and a lot of Godzilla’s shape are
reminiscent of an alligator. There’s just as much texture and
detail as there needs to be. The thing to remember here is that this
is a fifty dollar toy intended to capitalize on size and awesomeness,
not a high-end collector piece focused on detail and articulation. A
toy this size from NECA would cost over a hundred dollars and an
equivalent from the SH MonsterArts line would easily top four
hundred. Probably much more.
Godzilla’s
head looks great. It’s very reminiscent of older designs, but a bit
heavier to match the thicker appearance of the body.
About
that – I’m no physics genius, but I think it makes sense for
Godzilla’s legs to be thick and huge. Just to be able to carry
around such bulk they need to be massive. I like the new design a
lot. The long tail makes sense as well. If he’s using it for
balance in the same way that two-legged dinosaurs did, it would have
to be extremely long.
Okay
– back to the head. This design has that look of intelligence that
Amerizilla from the Broderick movie was lacking. To me the King of
Monsters was always sentient and aware of what was going on as
opposed to just being some rampaging beast. I felt like the ’98
Godzilla was too much of an animal. This one has that awareness. The
eyes, teeth, and tongue have solid paint jobs – probably slightly
better than what a toy of this type gets. There’s also a wash of
lighter green to bring out some of the details. This wash continues
down the front of the figure and creates a great look on the torso.
It does end abruptly at the first tail joint. I’m not necessarily
okay with that, but it also doesn’t bother me all that much. It
would be better if the wash went a little further down the tail, but
it’s hardly a deal breaker.
Okay
– I have to admit that there are a lot of ugly seams on this guy.
Not just the joints, but where the different pieces were joined as
well. It might not be as bad if the paint apps didn’t end abruptly
at some of those seams. But again, for the size and cost of the toy I
can’t complain too much. This Godzilla feels a little throwback-y,
so I can forgive some things. Like the gigantic screw holes running
down the figure’s back.
Yikes.
Also, some of the seams look a lot worse in the pictures than they do
in person.
ACCESSORIES
Godzilla
didn’t come with any accessories, but that’s okay. I suppose he
could have come with some little tanks or something. And a snap-on
atomic breath effect might have been cool. But in all honesty this
huge figure is plenty of toy for the money.
FUN
Just
looking
at this
toy is fun. Once you start messing around with him and comparing him
to other toys in your collection, he’s a shitload of fun; just for
the sheer size.
This
Godzilla features eleven points of articulation. The neck, wrists,
and feet have swivels. The jaw, shoulders, and hips pivot. Finally,
the tail has a hinge that allows a bit of swinging action.
All
of the joints work quite well, though the tail hinge is pretty
unsightly. I could’ve done without it, but Lil’ Troublemaker
thinks it’s great. Since I feel that this toy was aimed more at
kids than collectors his opinion counts more this time.
We
had fun picking out different toys to stack the King of Monsters up
against. Check it out:
Hasbro’s
(extremely white) AT-AT
Mattel’s
Granamyr
Godzilla
just wants to be loved
NECA’s
Quarter Scale Batman
Art
Asylum’s 24” Gene Simmons
Hasbro’s
6” Lizard
Hasbro’s
4”… shit. I don’t remember the Chalmun’s patrons like I used
to.
Trendmasters’
1998 Amerizilla
Amerizilla’s
gigantic head
As
bad as the 1998 Godzilla move was, I still always liked this huge
toy. It can eat figures and it has an electronic roar. That’s
pretty great. It also has a fantastic paint job. But man – that
head looks huge and silly next to the new model.
OVERALL
As
much as I love this Godzilla and am totally satisfied with my
purchase, there are a few little things that could have been better.
First and foremost I really feel like he could have had an electronic
roar. That’s a big deal and should have been a no-brainier. I would
have paid the five bucks more that would have cost.
The
seams and holes and stuff aren’t a huge deal, but I have to feel
like they could have been a
bit
more subtle.
Overall,
though, this is a big, badass lizard. Whether the movie is good or
not, this is a true King of Monsters and a definite King of Toys.
JAKKS surpassed my expectations with this one. I am happy. As far as
I am concerned this is a must-have. It’s a good example of solid
toymaking and if you have even a bit of nostalgic fondness for the
huge toys of the seventies you must
own this Godzilla.
4
out of 5
DO
NOT pay more than fifty bucks for this guy. I’ve seen him on Amazon
and eBay for up to $250 and that’s fucking ridiculous. He retails
for $49.99. I found one at Toys R Us and I have no doubt he will be
kept in stock. The movie doesn’t come out until May, so I bet there
are several shipments planned. That being said – if you find one,
go ahead and buy it. It’s a powerful toy and one I am thrilled to
own.
No comments:
Post a Comment