Hey, Phantomaniacs - it’s
time for the biggest awards event that Needless Things produces all
year long! That’s right, just like every other site on the
internet, at the end of each year I put together a list of the very
best stuff.
Best Wrestler – Fred
Yehi
Best Tag Team –
Washington Bullets
Best Match – Fred Yehi
v. Phantom v. Supernatural from Monstrosity Championship Wrestling
3/1
Biggest “HOLY SHIT”
Moment – Bigfoot comes to the rescue of Dragula and Johnny Danger
Van Helsing at Monstrosity Championship Wrestling 1/4
As you can see, my
wrestling experiences have been fairly limited this year. I hope to
experience a little more live wrestling in 2014, including a trip out
to Anarchy. We’ll see.
For now, it’s time to
take a look at all of the awesomeness that 2013 had to offer.
Best
Movie –
Pacific
Rim
I was excited about this
movie before I saw it and even more excited afterwards. It lived up
to or surpassed every expectation I had and made me eager to
experience it again. I made a point of taking Lil’ Troublemaker to
see it just so he could experience it in the theater. I had no doubt
it would be one of those big, impactful childhood experiences along
the lines of when I saw Superman
II or
Transformers:
The Movie.
I was right – he loved
it. He spent the rest of the day stomping around, alternating between
pretending he was a Kaiju or a Jaeger. He wants toys. He wants
another movie. And so do I. No other 2013 movie even came close to
being as satisfying as this one.
Best
Thing That Was In A Theater –
Doctor
Who: The Day of the Doctor
I think there’s a good
chance that I’m going to look back on the Troublemaker family’s
trip to see The
Day of the Doctor
in 3D at the movie theater as one of the big moments of my life.
There just aren’t any words for how special it was to be watching
Doctor Who on the big screen with my whole family. As an added bonus,
the story was great and the 3D was handled quite well.
Best
Ongoing Comic Book –
Saga
Last year the first issue
got Best Single Issue and this year it’s just the best title all
around. I have never read another comic book as good as Saga.
Period. You must read it.
Best
Story Arc in A Comic Book –
"Death
of the Family” – Various Batman Titles
I hate to belabor the
point that I was severely underwhelmed by Scott Snyder’s Owls
storyline, but it is so useful in illustrating how good or bad other
things are. So here goes:
After being severely
underwhelmed by “The Night of the Owls”, I wasn’t expecting
much out of “Death of the Family”. I thought it would be another
unnecessarily bloated crossover. I thought there was a good chance
that Joker – now some sort of Leatherface knockoff – would be
misused. I thought it was destined to be anticlimactic from the
start, because obviously nobody was actually going to die.
I certainly never
imagined it would be one of the best Joker stories I have ever read.
Possibly one of the best Batman stories overall.
Scott Snyder crafted one
of the ultimate Joker stories by playing on our expectations of the
character and the recent nature of DC Comics in general. And it
worked perfectly. I won’t give anything away here, but if you
skipped this one – or just aren’t reading DC comics anymore (and
I wouldn’t blame you) – pick up the collected edition.
Best
Single Issue Comic Book –
Indestructible
Hulk #1
I’m not a Hulk guy. The
last time I cared about Hulk was when Peter David was writing him
back in the 90s. But the first issue of Mark Waid’s book grabbed me
like no other comic this year. He brought an interesting new take to
the characters of Hulk and Bruce Banner – bringing Banner to the
forefront to remind the world that he is one of the greatest minds on
the planet. This Banner is no cowed, secondary character. He is
without a doubt the protagonist of the book and for the first time
ever I am watching the Hulk smash things as I wait impatiently for
the transformation into Banner. Not that the Hulk portions are bad,
mind you – the destruction is as big and fun as it has ever been.
It’s just that the Banner in this book is so damned good. He has
beef with the reps of both Tony Stark and Reed Richards and is out to
show that Banner is the smartest there is.
Best
TV Series –
Arrow
Watching the first season
of Arrow
was an amazing experience. It felt fresh and exciting, the cast was
strong (with the exception of Tommy Merlyn), the stories were fun and
reasonably self-contained while still being part of a larger arc, it
was respectful of the source material, and it was absolutely nothing
at all like Smallville.
Also, pretty much
everybody seemed to like it.
Season two is blowing the
first season out of the water. The character arcs are better and
deeper, things are getting way
more comic book-y, and the action is fast and furious.
Speaking of fast – holy
shit
Barry Allen.
Best
New TV Series –
Defiance
I can’t remember the
last time I was as excited about a show as I was about Defiance,
and for an odd reason. There were a couple of cast members I was fond
of – Julie Benz and (Vincent), but not enough to get me really
pumped for the show. The thing that sold me was how effectively the
showrunners had built their world. From the costumes to the various
species to the setting, it was a unique and memorable look. From the
first full preview I knew the show had “It”, as long as the
stories were good. And the stories were good.
Each character is slowly being explored, but never at the cost of the
overall narrative. There’s never an offshoot plot that grinds
everything to a halt – the storytelling is very natural and
organic.
Best
New Toy Line –
Marvel
Superhero Mashers by Hasbro
These came out at the
tail end of the year and surprised me utterly by, well, surprising
me. It isn’t often that a superhero toy can make it to market
without me knowing at least of its existence. But this whole line
came in under my radar. I happened across them in a forum post on one
of the action figure sites and immediately started looking online for
them.
I can’t remember
anything specifically, but I feel like the most exciting thing Santa
Claus can bring is some awesome new toy that you didn’t
even know existed.
And Lil’ Troublemaker agrees because Santa brought him a full set
of Superhero Mashers and he was stoked.
Here’s the deal –
these are fully articulated, highly stylized 6” scale action
figures of Marvel Universe characters. The first ones to hit retail
were Iron Patriot, Thor, Hulk, Iron Man, and Wolverine; with the
latter two being deluxe sets. The gimmick is that all of the figures
can be taken apart and reassembled, Micronauts style. Each figure
comes with various weapons and armor that snap onto them. It all
works extremely well and the figures look awesome. I’ll be
reviewing them – either as a set or individually – within the
next couple of weeks.
Best
Album –
Nanobots
– They Might Be Giants
My TMBG hiatus ended last
December.
I mean, I wasn’t really
taking a break from one of my top 5 favorite bands. I was still
listening to all of their albums up until Mink
Car.
But I just hadn’t been keeping up with them like a good fan should.
Then I bought their Holiday Gift Pack
and got back into the groove. And then Nanobots
was released. It’s my favorite album that the band has released
since Apollo
18.
Every song on it is excellent and several of them have the rare
distinction of being songs that I really, really
wanted to hear live when I saw them back in March.
Best
Existing TV Show
That
I Discovered in 2013 –
Sons
of Anarchy
This was one of those
shows that I never watched because I didn’t think there would be
much that I could relate to. I was pretty much right about that, but
this is still an excellent show. And it has maintained that
excellence for five seasons (I haven’t seen season six yet due to
putting off five because I didn’t want to pay for it and then
paying for it anyway right before it came out on Netflix only to
Best
DVD/Blu-Ray –
Doctor
Who
– “Terror of the Zygons”
Even without my
considerable anticipation for this story’s release (it was the
first Tom Baker story I ever saw and the beginning of my regular
viewing of Doctor
Who),
this would be a win. The discs (two of them) are positively packed
with bonus features. From a retrospective on the Brigadier to behind
the scenes stuff to commentaries, it’s on of BBC’s best standard
edition releases to date.
Best
Kid-Oriented Cartoon –
Adventure
Time With Finn & Jake
Sometimes I get burned
out on cartoons. It’s easy for things to get repetitive or for the
same themes to be revisited over and over again. Not so with
Adventure
Time,
which is not only the best cartoon, but one of the best things on TV,
period.
Best
New Cartoon –
Beware
the Batman
Yes, really.
I did not like this show
at all
when it started. And I still don’t like the computer-generated
animation. But the show’s characters and stories have won me over.
The show’s new takes on old characters are quite interesting and
the world that is being built has me intrigued.
Of course, now the
problem is that it hasn’t been on for several weeks now (I am
writing the initial entries for this in mid-November) and I am
missing the show. If you had told me this would be the case three
weeks in I would have thought you were nuts. It has now been
confirmed that the show will return in January, but I fear that
Mattel’s total lack of corresponding toy line will spell doom for
it.
Best
Toy Line –
Arkham
Video Game Lines
From
DC Collectibles
This one is an almost
unbelievable turnaround.
I never would have
imagined that I would be collecting DC’s in-house toys again, let
alone awarding them Best of the Year. Everything about this line has
been great, from the sculpt and paint to the gradually improving
articulation to the durability. Even the timing of releases has been
very good, with waves and deluxe figures being spread out just enough
to not put too big of a dent in my wallet. There were a couple of
disappointing releases late in the year – Joker
and Black
Mask,
but this line has overall been excellent and has kept me excited for
more.
Best
Online Store –
Amazon.com
I accidentally signed up
for Amazon Prime earlier in the year, and it ended up being one of
the smartest things I have ever accidentally done. The shipping
savings alone were worth it, but when you throw in their video
streaming service – which has an awful lot of content that Netflix
does not – it is a steal.
But even without the
magic that is Prime, Amazon is a great shopping site. If you are
patient and use their Wish List function wisely you can get
rock-bottom prices on books, toys, movies, and pretty much anything
else. All you have to do is check in from time to time and see how
the prices have changed. Your item will be packed securely and if you
use the free shipping option it will typically arrive within a week.
Great deal.
Best
Live Event –
Le
Sexoflex – The Happy Ending
This was the best and
most emotionally charged event I have ever attended. I have never
been in such an electric environment. You can check out my full
write-up here.
It’s a crime that this wasn’t released in some sort of home video
format, but that just means it’s even more special because if you
weren’t there, you’ll never know.
Weird Al at Atlanta
Symphony Hall gets an honorable mention.
Best
Individual Toy –
Castle
Grayskull by Mattel
Interestingly enough,
Mattel won this category last year with a different castle. That cost
about a fifth as much and was a whole lot more fun.
Sorry, but it’s hard
not to have just a few negative feelings about a toy that cost $275.
But I have to say that within the context of the Masters of the
Universe line and with my expectations managed to the fullest, Castle
Grayskull did, indeed, deliver. I’ll have a full review up when I
finally get the time to take as many pictures as are necessary and
even a bit of video. Until then, just know that this was definitely
the
big toy of 2013.
Best
Podcast –
WTF
Maron wins it again. I am
positively addicted to this interview format show. I’ve been a fan
of Maron’s since I first found him in the 90s and he has truly
found his niche with this podcast. He gets the best guests and I
would say that a good 80 percent of his episodes are can’t-miss.
Best
T-Shirt –
NeedlessThingsSite.com
Luchador vs.
Owlbear
Will you people please
buy my fucking t-shirts?
Best
Action Figure –
Predator
Jungle
Extraction Dutch
From
NECA
Dutch was the most
impressive figure I bought in 2013. I can’t think of anything that
could have been done better on a figure in this scale and price
range. Dutch stood on my desk for a long time after I reviewed him
because I kept picking him up and posing him in different ways. He’s
a fun, great-looking figure. Check out my full review here.
Best
Restaurant –
Pallookaville Fine Foods
I have eaten at
Pallookaville three times since it opened and I can say with
confidence that it is my favorite restaurant of all time. The pork
burger is one of the best things I have ever eaten, but I can’t
order it again because the corndogs are just so
damned good.
The shakes are badass. I had a vanilla and Mrs. Troublemaker had
chocolate. Next time I go I’m going to have to try a Reuben, but no
matter how good it is I know I’ll be sad I didn’t get a corndog.
As an aside, we went to
Pallookaville for their Breakfast With Santa. Lil’ Troublemaker
does not do Santa. He doesn’t like seeing the guy in person, not
even his assistants (all of the mall and parade Santas). But he
hopped up on Really Big Santa’s lap, talked to him, and had no
problems at all. It was awesome.
Best
Dragon*Con Costume –
Centurions
HOLY FUCK.
Best
Moment of the Year –
Dragon
Con Toy Panel Afterglow
I hosted a number of toy
panels at Dragon Con this year for the American Sci-Fi Classics
Track. They were amazing experiences that you can listen to here:
But the panels themselves
weren’t the best part. The best part was that for the rest of the
weekend complete strangers kept coming up to me and telling me how
great those panels were. I would imagine I was pretty insufferable
the whole weekend. Heck, I probably still am.
-Phantom
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