Hey
folks – I don’t normally give Beau’s stuff an intro because
he’s a regular contributor now and doesn’t need it, but I wanted
to mention that he actually submitted this several weeks ago. I just
didn’t post it because I didn’t feel Karatti was Halloweeny
enough. Heck, I wasn’t even going to review this sub-standard lump
of crap at all. That’s why Beau is doing it. Here’s our
conversation on the matter:
Phantom:
I think I really hate Karatti. I don’t even want to review him.
Beau:
I guess I could.
Phantom:
DONE.
Beau:
Oh… crap.
So
here’s Beau, with a ton more enthusiasm than I could have ever
worked up about this suck mutant from outer space.
Beau
Brown here, back with another Masters of the Universe Classics review
of Karatti. Phantom thought Karatti sucked so bad that he couldn't
bring himself to review him. I think he sucks and but will review him
anyway!
So
New Adventures He-man... The attempt to revive the He-man line in
1990. I was a huge He-Man fan but when the New Adventures stuff
started coming out I was repulsed by it. I hated the scrawny looking
figures and was even more turned off by the cartoon. To me it looked
like they said “Hey - kids these days are all into that
Japanimation Robotech stuff! Let's make it look like that!” I think
Robotech is fucking stupid and I certainly didn't want it anywhere
near my He-Man.
Seriously
look how unbelievably bad Skeletor looks. He has pupils. PUPILS! He
has a skull for a face, he doesn’t have any pupils! But I
digress...PUPILS!
What
a douche.
Overlord
of Evil my ass. Sometimes apparently he would have red eyes; you
know, when he was concerned. Ugh, just awful.
Fortunately
it wasn't long before Ninja Turtles came out and I moved right along
from He-man to become a Turtles fan. Turtles offered me exactly what
I loved about He-man, a really wacky visually diverse ensemble cast.
So
I had a handful of New Adventures figures and Karatti was not one of
them. You can see what I was missing out on here.
So
all that aside, the 4Horsemen excel in taking some of the older, less
effective character designs and working their magic on them to make
them look great for Classics. Karatti doesn’t look bad. They made
him more serious instead of droopy sad facey. He has a Predator look
to him with the mask and the dreads. The paint app on the dreads is
really nice. I really like the deep set black eyes. He has dark matte
black around his eyes and then his eyeballs are glossy black which
looks pretty great when they catch the light.
Like
Optikk, he has the Trap-Jaw legs and also sports Trap-Jaw arms. As
far as new pieces go, he has a new head, crotch piece, and armor. So
not a ton of new tooling, but overall he looks good with a classic
villain color scheme of green and purple with bronze armor. The armor
has some nice battle damage blaster marks and claw/sword gouges,
although they could have used a little paint. His legs are really
boring. We have seen the Trap-Jaw legs more than enough now and they
are just the one bronze color with a very small amount of lighter
bronze on a few of the knobby bolty bits, but not much. Hooray for
the Horde Troopers providing another option for robot/cyborg legs.
From
his bio we learn that he is a moron and a coward. Continuing the
tradition to pretty lame real character names we learn that Karatti's
real name is Stickel-Vat, which sounds like some sort of topical
ointment. He comes with two accessories. A machete looking sword and
a laser axe. However! His foes truly fear his bone crushing karate
chops! I think Jitsu has things pretty well covered in that area so
Karatti is just going to be the predator looking bounty hunter space
pirate guy as far as I am concerned. I think I lost his laser axe. It
might have been eaten by the vacuum cleaner. Which I am not thrilled
with but can live with. His machete works well for his space pirate
feel.
His
right hand is sculpted open enough to not be able to hold his
accessories but not open enough to resemble any kind of karate
chopping action.
Since
I don't have much of an attachment to Karatti I decided he could be
the one fig in my collection that Little B could play with. He seems
to enjoy picking him up and throwing him. However he chewed some of
the paint of his face and that might not be so good so maybe he won't
get to play with him too much. Cause you know, China.
Without
his armor he kind of looks like one of those modern wrestler guys. I
mean all He-man characters kind of look like wrestler guys. It might
be the dreads. Specifically one of those little guys that does lots
of the aerial jumping off the ropes stuff. I am sure Phantom could
name one (Evan Karagias? - Phantom). I
can't.
Karatti
is okay. Nothing to write home about. He was put into the lineup on
the original roadmap to help space out the bigger names and now that
we only have 2 years left and the roadmap has been condensed I do not
think we will see anyone this obscure or unrequested from NA He-Man.
I am sure we will get Flogg and NA Skeletor at least. Hydron looks
awesome and I am looking forward to him. I frankly really like
Classics NA He-man despite my loathing of the cartoon and vintage
line. He totally reads as Flash Gordon Space He-man to me and I dig
it. They have announced that at NYCC they will have another fan
choice vote this time between Mara and Darius from NA He-man. Both
characters were main characters on the show but never had figures
released. So we will at least get one of those. Which is good. I
guess.
Karatti
gets a 2 out of 5. He gets a 1 for being lame and +1 since there
isn't anything really wrong with him as a figure.
Good
Journey!
-Beau
Everyone can relax. I found the Laser Axe.
ReplyDelete- Beau
CALL OFF THE HOUNDS! CANCEL THE EVACUATION! All is well.
DeleteWhats funny about his bio in Classics is that in the cartoon Karatti was brave, smart, ruthless, and overall the one of the most competent of the mutants along with Crita.
ReplyDelete