Technically
the narrative picks up Friday night after DCW, but it was almost
Saturday and I don’t want to still be posting Dragon Con stuff in
October, so I’m going with “Day 3 – Saturday”.
I think I forgot to mention this the other day, but apparently the Hilton is hiring Ghost Maids now:
Also,
I want you to look at Doctor Q’s shirt:
We
headed to the Hilton Karaoke like we usually do, but it just wasn’t
as happening this year. I don’t know why. That’s one thing about
Dragon Con – you can hit certain spots that are normally solid, but
if you’re a little too early or late you kind of miss the vibe and
it’s no good. It’s a little like surfing, I guess. You have to
time everything right. I have never actually surfed nor do I intend
to, so feel free to ignore that comparison.
I
don’t know exactly when it happened, but at some point the rest of
the Hooligans went to bed. Or ditched me. I’m not sure which.
Luckily for me I ran into Inara and she pointed me in the direction
of an improv puppet show featuring Raymond Carr, Lucky Yates, Stacey
Gordon, Paul McGinnis, and Victor Yerrid:
The
show was hilarious. Think Whose
Line is it Anyway?,
but with puppets. One guy – Paul, I think – was playing host and
would assign scenes and take audience suggestions. I learned a lot of
things from the show, but I think the most important thing I took
away is that if you are a female puppeteer you must have to take
really good care of your armpits:
All
of those folks were awesome. But I really wanted to pet that dog. I
was pretty drunk by the time I made it to the puppet show and it took
everything I had not to just go up and hang out with the dog. I mean,
look again:
It
appeared to be a Dog With Purpose, which is all that kept me from
going and sitting next to it. I didn’t want to mess up somebody’s
Sober Companion Canine or whatever. For all I knew that dog was
translating English to German or something. It sort of looks like a
beagle, but I can’t imagine beagles being useful for anything other
than chasing rabbits or treeing possums.
As
I was wandering around alone I ran into two girls cosplaying as Girls
Who Shouldn’t Wear Bikinis and decided I had seen enough for the
night.
I
had planned on getting up and watching the parade on Saturday morning
and even woke up in time to do so. But something happened that simply
doesn’t happen to me very often and I got absolutely terrified
about the toy panel at 1 PM.
I
don’t know what my deal was, but nerves just hit me like a
motherfucker. So I told myself I needed to get some more sleep and
really didn’t need to be bothered with the parade, anyway. I then
spent the next three hours waking up every half hour or so,
panicking, and then falling back into an uneasy slumber. It was a
weird and terrible morning.
I
managed to get my shit together and force myself to eat some of the
snack crap I had in the room. Which brings up another weird thing
from this year’s Con – I had no appetite. I usually spend the
whole time hungry because I just don’t eat as much or as often as I
should. But this year I had to force myself to eat. I’m sure it had
something to do with nerves or the added pressure of not only being
on panels but running panels; but it’s been a long time since I had
anxiety like that and it isn’t precisely
what I was feeling. I dunno. I talked to Mr. Beau Brown and he had
the same thing going on.
Of
course, since he runs the Puppetry Track his deal was almost
certainly nerves and anxiety.
Totally
unsatisfied by the Nature’s Way protein bar I choked down, I suited
up and headed to the Marriott M303-304 with my neat-o new handtruck
loaded down with toy-filled boxes.
Before
I get any further, I want to thank Billy’s Toys and Comics and
Diamond Select Toys for sending stuff for display for the panel. It
made a huge difference having that wall of toys sitting on the table
and I think created a great visual impact on the audience. I mean,
even more than a guy in a purple jumpsuit and wrestling mask.
![]() |
Photo courtesy of Don Harden |
I
passed this lady on my way to the car to drop off the boxes of toys
and thought she looked awesome:
Just
before I got to the elevator down to the parking garage I realized I
hadn’t brought my car keys and would be hauling that stuff back up
to the room anyway. Once there, I realized that it was almost time
for the
Super
Sheraton Sandwich Showdown
I
was super excited about this since it was an event of my very own
devising and I thought it was going to be a whole lot of fun. Just
the kind of odd, neat thing that might get some attention on YouTube
or something. Plus all I really needed to make it happen were a few
Hooligans and the bystanders that would no doubt result.
In
case you haven’t read my prior explanation, the deal is that the
Sheraton Deli is very slow. I felt pretty confident that I could run
across Courtland Avenue, get a sandwich from the gyro shop across the
street, and return to one of the Sheraton tables before an opponent
could get their sandwich right there at the Sheraton. Hooligan Mike
had volunteered to be that opponent and everything was set. I had
even made a little Facebook event that got a few attendees. But like
I said – I really only needed Mike and maybe two other people.
I
put on my running gear and headed over to the Sheraton, pretty stoked
about this thing. It didn’t have to go perfectly; it would still be
funny stuff.
I
got there at 3:00. The Showdown was supposed to occur at 3:15. I was
a little surprised that nobody was there yet, especially after being
told that there might even be more competitors the day before.
As
you might have guessed, nobody
showed up. Not Mike, not camera folks, not the people who were
supposedly making plans to participate. Not one Hooligan made it out.
Alright -
now that’s out of the way. Let’s check out this awesome chick
that put together a costume based off a brand-new Wonder Woman
concept:
I
passed this lady in some awesome costume posing for pictures behind
the waterfall thingy in the entryway of the Marriott. I promise this
looked really awesome in person, but just looks like another one of
my signature blurry pictures here:
After
classing myself up a little bit I still had a few hours before the
Hooligans’ Annual Chinese Dinner (well, yeah – I was pissed, but
they’re my friends – what’re you gonna do?). I spent some time
wandering around and meeting new people – something I highly
recommend you try to do at some point during Dragon Con. I ran into
this guy dressed up as the mayor from The
Oblongs:
Who
I ended up talking to for quite some time about wrestling in general
and Lucha libre specifically. It was a great conversation. You know
how sometimes you’re just sort of waiting for your moment to say
you’ve got to be somewhere or whatever? That didn’t happen here.
This guy was really cool and interesting.
Upstairs
I came across internet sensation and fellow masked mic-wielder
Maestro McKickass interviewing a guy that might as well have been the
actual Mick Foley. I am hoping to set up a little cross-promotion
with Mr. McKickass and his network soon. It’s all about having the
time to do it. I actually have several networking opportunities that
have come up as a result of Dragon Con; including one that I’m
working on as I write this. For now I’ll just say to expect more
toy panels in various places next year if I can make my schedule
work.
Just
around the corner from McKickass and his crew I found the undisputed
Costumes of the Year for Dragon Con 2013:
Those
are two of my favorite costumes that I have ever seen in person.
Coincidentally, Centurions
is also the subject of Kalan’s next Best Cartoon Ever (of the
month). So stay tuned for that. She’s been studying diligently and
has put together what should be a great piece.
That
was enough wandering for me. It was time to meet up with the
Hooligans and have some Chinese food. I ran into Money Ham on the
corner of Courtland and Baker and asked him where he was headed. He
laughed and said the Chinese dinner that I had scheduled.
You
see, I had put up a post on Facebook asking if we were doing Chinese
dinner again. No event, no concrete plans. Just a post casually
asking. Twenty people showed up for Chinese dinner. Think back to
earlier that day and appreciate the HILARIOUS irony that was my
Saturday at Dragon Con.
Every
other year we have just shown up at the Chinese place and eaten. No
big deal. They usually weren’t even that busy. This year, though,
word must have gotten out about this place (notice I am not
mentioning a name) because it was fucking packed and we were told
there would be an hour and a half wait.
To
tighten things up a little bit, I’ll just say that we wandered
around Atlanta looking for places to eat and eventually gave up and
went to the Peachtree Center Food Court. I got Checker’s and went
back to my room to eat naked and in peace. After all, I had a live
Earth Station Who and the Most Important Event of the Year to get
ready for.
![]() |
Photo courtesy of Phantomaniac Elizabeth Laney |
![]() |
I had to take my jacket off. It was sweltering because the room was PACKED TO THE RAFTERS. Also courtesy of Elizabeth Laney. |
The
panel – like any episode of ESW – was a hoot to record. I love
talking to the Mikes and Jennifer. We were joined by (dude) from the
Brit Track and we were also graced with the presence of the
inimitable Jevocas Green and his new companion from The
Forgotten Doctor.
It was a great time for everybody, the room was once again full, and
you can listen to the whole thing here:
After the panel I had to stop for a photo op with some Phantom groupies:
Le
Sexoflex: The Happy Ending
In
which the Sexxxiest Band in the Whole Muthafuckin’ World would
perform their last. It was simultaneously thrilling and saddening and
you can read all about it tomorrow!
-Phantom
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