Well,
Dragon Con 2013 is all over now and I am back at work. A lot of
people posted about the post-Con blues on Monday night and Tuesday,
but my blues didn’t hit until I woke up at 3:30 this morning and
realized that the magical experience that I had this past weekend was
over and that dull reality was inevitable.
Being
able to spend some relaxing time with my family on Monday and Tuesday
kept my spirits high. So did the fact that this year’s Con was
satisfying and productive in a way that dwarfed the feelings of
accomplishment I had after Dragon Con 2012. Everything was bigger and
better.
But
I’ll get to all of that over the next few days. For now, I have to
start at the beginning. I have to start with Thursday night when I
pulled into the Hilton garage and entered the alternate reality known
as
Dragon
Con
Remember
when I said I wouldn’t be staying at Con on Thursday night again?
Well, that turned out to be a big, fat lie.
I
realized early last week that it was simply impractical for me to go
back home on Thursday night. I had two parties to attend and also had
arranged for early check-in at the hotel (the clever bastards had
figured out that they could charge $25 extra dollars to guarantee a
pre-3 PM time). So I would be driving back home around midnight and
returning around 8 AM. It was ridiculous.
First
I called the hotel to see if I could book Thursday like I had last
year. But it was too late. Next I texted Evil to see if I could crash
in their room. He said no problem. Whew.
My
whole problem with Thursday night last year was that I had been too
excited to be at Dragon Con already and had gotten thoroughly
shitfaced. I slept late on Friday and missed out on the stuff I
normally do when I first arrive. I had a plan for this year, though.
I didn’t carry beer with me. This meant that I would have to buy
anything I wanted to drink. Since I was lighter on cash this year
than I usually am, I shouldn’t have a problem resisting the urge.
My
first stop after parking was Evil and Lady Evil’s hotel room. I
left most of my stuff in the trunk of the Phantomobile, but there was
no room in there for my suitcase and there was just too much stuff in
my suitcase to leave it out there. I ran into the lovely Lady Abigor
in the elevator. I’m always surprised when I see somebody I know at
Con. This is a convention consisting of around 50,000 people spread
out over five hotels and an event center. How the heck is it even
possible that I would just happen to run into an acquaintance? But it
happens a lot.
When
I got to their room all of the Hooligans were there looking suitably
hammered. We were all going to Trader Vic’s in a bit, but I had to
go get my badge and check in at the American Sci-Fi Classics Track
Party. I had seen the line for registration at the Sheraton when I
drove in and it was crazy. Fortunately, I had been accepted as a
Media Representative for this year and had a different destination –
the Hyatt Regency, in… the… basement.
Well,
not really the basement, but a lower level that I don’t think I’ve
ever been to before.
I
ran into my ESO mates Mike G. and Bobby outside of the Marriott. We
had a brief discussion about our hopes and dreams for the future
(three days) and then I continued on my trek into the Hyatt, where I
saw my very first costume of Con:
Not
a dead ringer, but a totally solid first costume and pretty well
done, at that. I was pleased. Both with the costume and with the fact
that I remembered to take a picture of the momentous first costume.
Yeah – I’m sure I passed some people that were dressed up on my
walk from the Hilton, but this was a for-real costume.
I
reported to the Greenbriar Room where two incredibly nice ladies got
me checked in and badged up. I signed some paperwork, attached my
badge to my trusty Anthrax Army lanyard, and thanked them very much.
That turned out to be the one and only advantage I got out of my
Media Badge. Don’t; get me wrong – I’m not knocking the Media
Pass. If I hadn’t already paid and if I had requested more than one
interview and if I operated in the same ways as a normal journalist;
I’m sure it would have been super. But it turned out that it wasn’t
really my thing. The stuff I do can be done without a yellow ribbon
pointing me out to people. Plus, I had to cover up my real name
because they don’t put pseudonyms on Press Badges:
My
next destination was the Track Party. Gary Mitchel and Joe Crowe are
the guys that run the American Sci-Fi Classics Track. My work with
Director Faber is what got me on the Track last year and my general
awesomeness is what got me invited back and given my very own panels
to run this year. Gary and Joe are both smart (obviously) and
supportive guys that I have maintained contact with over the last
year through the magic of Facebook and podcasting. I was really
excited to see Gary and Joe in person again.
But
first I had to find them, and let me tell you – rooms 303-304 on
the Marriott Marquis Level are not the easiest rooms to find. I knew
exactly what level they were located on and felt like I was looking
for the TARDIS swimming pool. The 100 and 200 rooms were clearly
labeled with big, light-up signs and even video monitors. I reasoned
that the 300 rooms would be across the floor in the same locations –
the corners. I had familiarized myself with the floor plan by looking
at the map from the Pocket Program while putting together my
schedule, but my memory seemed to be failing me. No biggie, though –
I could simply load up the trusty Dragon Con Mobile App and check it
out again.
Product
Review – Dragon Con 2013 Mobile App
I
didn’t actually need to use the app much this year since I pretty
much knew where and when everything I was doing was, but the few
times I did need it the app was useless.
As
I stated in Shaun Rosado’s Survival Tips post,
every time you open the app it will want to update or sync or
whatever. If you have a good signal this isn’t a big deal and only
takes a few seconds. If you do not have a signal you just have this
loading icon on your screen.
Side
Note: I found out late Sunday night that you can back out of this
screen and still use the app. I think I knew this last year, but
there was no indication of that within the program, so I didn’t
remember. Plus, like I said – I didn’t need the app that much.
Here
are the things I tried to use the app for and found it to not be
useful:
- Finding the American Sci-Fi Classics Room (loading issue)
- Looking up the DC*TV channel for my hotel (could not find the information)
- Finding an artist’s table in the Comic and Pop Art Room (could not find the information)
- Seeing where the Sylvester McCoy/Peter Davison panel was being held (event details page would not load)
- Rating panels (has produced an error message every time I try to rate a panel – is still occurring now. And no – I am not trying to rate my own panels.)
I
found the 2013 app to be essentially useless. I was disappointed
because I used the heck out of the previous two years’ versions.
This
is just my experience. I have read positive things about the app on
Facebook, so apparently there are people who were happy with it. And
in its defense, cell signals were the worst I have ever seen on
Friday and Saturday. There were times when I couldn’t even get a
signal outside in a clear space. I could usually get one in my room,
but not always. Dragon Con appears to have some sort of sponsorship
with Comcast judging from the Masquerade Ball prizes. I’d say they
need to get some sponsored signal boosters for next year.
Side
Note: I just said “signal boosters” like that’s actually a
thing and I know what I’m talking about.
I’m
not going to give the app hard rating because I wasn’t trying to
use everything that it can do. But it wasn’t able to do the few
things I did
need from it.
For
next year I would suggest it incorporate the same sort of
functionality for Facebook that it has for Twitter. The “Friends”
feature is nearly useless. We’d all be better served with a
Facebook connection.
Hey,
at least it supports Google+!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
****
Okay,
back to business. Or non-business.
After
three or four complete circuits of the Marquis Level I finally
located the Track Room – behind the FedEx office and the shitter. I
do not normally use the word “shitter”, but by the end of the
weekend there was an abundance of olfactory evidence that could
simply not be denied. I don’t know if pipes got backed up or what,
but the smell outside of the Track room was so brutal it was even
overwhelming the traditional Dragon Con Herd Scent. It occurred to me
at one point that if you got tired enough of the combined stench of
body odor, patchouli, and body paint that typifies the Con
experience; you could simply step into that corridor and be bombarded
by the even more offensive poo odor for awhile. Afterward the Herd
Scent would seem like sweet relief.
Okay,
maybe not. But it sure wouldn’t seem as bad.
The
first thing I saw upon setting foot in the Track Room was that I was
actually setting foot into some sort of pile of green felt. No, it
wasn’t Kermit the Frog. That’s a different Track. This was a tiny
felt lawn that had been set in front of the door so that a lady
dressed up as an old lady could yell, “GET OFF MY LAWN!” It was
actually pretty funny, but I was not in full-on Entertainer Mode yet
so it just sort of bewildered me.
Fortunately
Gary Mitchel came to my rescue and said, “Welcome to the Over 40
Party!”
That
was the theme of the party because most of what the American Sci-Fi
Classics Track encompasses is older stuff. Granted, it’s not all
that
old, but it was a funny theme. I gave Gary a big ol’ hug and
immediately realized I was super hungry. I had planned on hanging out
at the party for a while, but Trader Vic’s was beckoning. I had to
go.
I
had never been to Trader Vic’s before last Thursday. I knew it was
some kind of Tiki-themed place, and I now know that it is the
birthplace of the Mai Tai. I know this because Little Pond told me
approximately one hundred and forty times over the course of the
weekend. Every time I mentioned Mai Tais – which to be fair ended
up being fairly often – she would tell me about Trader Vic’s
inventing the Mai Tai. She was like a little, ginger Drunkipedia. I’m
not sure I saw her sober all weekend.
Trader
Vic’s occupies an entire floor in the lower portion of the Hilton.
When I stepped out of the elevator I was greeted by two large Tiki
heads. It was impressive and a sight I had not been prepared for. I
honestly thought Trader Vic’s was just a bar. I even asked Mike G.
and Bobby how big it was because pretty much everybody I knew was
planning on meeting there. They said it was a big place and they were
right.
The
first people I saw when I walked into the restaurant proper were
Rescue John and his lady. John had a fancy mug in his hand and was
pretty clearly on his way to being properly lit. He highly
recommended some kind of coffee drink that they set on fire. It’s
what had come in the fancy mug he was now holding. While there wasn’t
one part of that that didn’t sound appealing to me, I had to have a
Mai Tai.
The
bar was packed. Not as packed as it could have been, but packed
enough that I knew I was going to be waiting a minute. I was a bit
shocked to see that the signature mixed drinks being offered that
night were in big dispensers behind the bar – like the ones that
cafeterias serve iced tea out of. But the second I realized that this
was going to speed up the serving process I was okay with it. I think
there were four of these containers – Mai Tai, two I can’t
remember, and Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. I wanted one of the latter
pretty badly, but this was Trader Vic’s and I had to have a Mai
Tai. Also, I think Little Pond might have punched me if I had gotten
anything else; what with her slightly mad devotion.
Eventually
I was served a plastic cup full of various alcohols. Rescue John was
very disappointed on my behalf that the place had run out of their
signature mugs and given me a regular glass, but I didn’t care. I
just wanted a drink. And I got a drink. That thing cleared out my
sinuses like a mofo. The only beverage I’ve ever had that was
stronger than the Trader Vic’s Mai Tai was whatever the bartender
at Mary’s gave me last Christmas. That thing didn’t even qualify
as a beverage. I’m pretty sure the FDA would classify it as Yak
Sedative.
I
decided this mighty Mai Tai was going to be my one and only drink for
the evening.
As
I look back on my evening in Trader Vic’s, I am utterly confused by
the setup. I ran into Rescue John and Ashley, Beau and Sally and
Alex, Little Pond, Gnoll and his new lady, and Indrid and Jonathan
and Shane all in different places that were not the bar, the eating
portions, or the deck. This was the first of two places I would go
that seemed – if you’ll excuse the expression – bigger on the
inside.
All
of the Hooligans were out on the deck waiting to be seated. It was
pretty clear that everybody had enjoyed a Mai Tai. Dragon Con had
begun.
I
ended up talking to a table full of extremely drunk dudes about
Monstrosity Championship Wrestling. Actually, I have to say that I’m
very proud of the amount of promotion I did for all of my various
pursuits over the weekend. I gave out a ton of my brand-new business
cards, I talked up the site and wrestling, and I gave out most of
Billy’s cards as well. Here’s the thing – when I’m done with
a panel, I tell everybody I have cards up front and to please take
one. Up until this year at Dragon Con only a couple of people would
come up and do so. But at all of my panels this year a large number
of folks did a run by the table to grab a card. And even better, they
wanted to hang out and chat after the panel.
Again
– I’ll get to all of that.
Every
ten minutes or so Little Pond would stomp up to the front of the
restaurant and ask about our table. And every ten minutes or so she
would stomp back to us and say they had told her ten more minutes. We
did eventually get seated, but I looked at my fancy, new Batman watch
at one point and realized that despite having an 8:30 reservation it
was after 10 PM and we had not eaten yet. I was oddly okay with that.
I was having a nice time talking to Matt, Soozie, and K-Dawg at our
table (we had several small tables rather than one big one) and
Gnoll’s new lady was a hoot.
Restaurant
Review: Trader Vic’s in the Hilton Atlanta
It
took a long time to get seated and served, but there were easily
eight million people in that place. I’m not taking points away for
that. Well, maybe a couple since we did have a reservation.
The
Mai Tais were, indeed, excellent. The staff was courteous and
friendly. Our waitress was very good. I had no trouble ordering a
second Mai Tai (yes, I know – shut up about it).
I
ordered fried prawns as my meal and they were easily the best fried
prawns I have ever had. I mean, I’ve consumed absolute metric tons
of shrimp, but I’ve never had prawns.
They were the bee’s knees (or is it bees’ knees?). They came with
a hot mustard that made a sweat break out on my forehead but that
didn’t linger.
The
atmosphere was perfect. Dim lighting and low music made it easy to
converse and enjoy a meal.
The
prices were a tad on the ridiculous side, but what I had was worth
it.
I
give Trader Vic’s a 7473.
****
After
dinner we went to see a band called Grandpa’s Cough Syrup. They
were playing very good bluegrass, but it just wasn’t the right
thing for Dragon Con. Not for me, anyway. There were better things to
see.
Like
that, for example.
At
some point in the evening I ran into these two incredibly nice dudes
and their lady friend. The three of them were extremely young but
extremely nice. I qualify that by pointing out that they kept feeding
me beer for some reason. I was all like, “No, no – I can’t
drink too much tonight! Lot’s to do tomorrow!” and they were all
like, “Here’s another PBR, dude!”
It
would have been rude to refuse them.
Once
I caught back up with the Hooligans we hung out in our regular spot
for awhile and just looked at people, including this girl that had
made a Knifehead mask:
Not
the Pacific
Rim
costume I was expecting to see.
Sooner
than later it was time for bed. I knew I wanted to get up at 7 AM so
I could be ready to check in to my room at 8, so I went up to the
Evil’s room and crashed out.
-Phantom
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