This is my
review of JJ Abrams’ first Trek
movie. It was part of my birthday post back in 2009. That one went up
on the MySpace blog and has never been reposted here, so I thought I
would put it up today as a sort of companion to my review of the new
movie. I did something similar with GI
Joe: Retaliation,
only it came off as kind of awkward because I stuck that in the
middle of the review. So this time you get two separate posts.
Come back later
today for my review of Into
Darkness.
Man, I’m not even sure how to go
about writing this one. I just want to keep saying “awesome”, and
that doesn’t do anybody any good.
I’m going to start off with the only
two negatives in the whole movie just to calm myself down a little
bit. The first is the use of the Beastie Boys’ Sabotage
at the beginning of the movie. It really seemed weird and out of
place, even though it would realistically be a classic rock-type song
at the time the movie takes place. It was just kind of jarring to
hear that in a Star Trek
movie, though I guess not wholly inappropriate. The second issue is
that I’m not sure it was explained why Scotty went with Kirk. I’ll
have to pay closer attention to that part next time I see the movie,
which hopefully will be soon.
The cast is great. Everybody nails
their character without doing an impersonation of the original crew.
I went into the movie not wanting to like the guy playing Kirk, but I
loved him after a mere five minutes of screen time. My impression
before seeing the film was that the actor looked like kind of a
douchebag, but it occurred to me after seeing his great portrayal of
Iowa’s biggest man-whore that Kirk is
kind of a douchebag. The kind you like to see doing awesome stuff
like starting fights with Starfleet cadets, Romulans, Vulcans and
pretty much everybody. As a matter of fact, Kirk’s main value to
the plot seems to be pissing people off. And that’s okay. I even
thought Eric Bana was tremendous and I haven’t had any use for him
since his God-awful Hulk movie. Everybody else is great, and since I
don’t want this to just turn into a list of actors and how awesome
they are, let’s move along to the story.
The story is great. The pacing is so
solid you never have a moment to relax. There is always something
going on that requires your attention. Every single character is
thoroughly outlined and given something important to do. Not even the
old original cast movies – which are some of my all-time favorite
movies; even the odd-numbered ones – put so much care into making
each primary crew member seem crucial. The overall story is just
mind-blowing. Not only did the writers manage to reboot the whole
franchise from the start (If you don’t include Enterprise. And I
don’t.), they also did it in a way that respects and cherishes what
has gone before. If you are even a casual fan of Star Trek, there are
so many call-outs in this movie that you won’t even be able to
remember them all. Also – don’t ever fuck with Romulans. Ever.
They will absolutely ruin your day.
There really isn’t any point in
discussing the technical aspects of the movie. Regardless of your
opinion of J.J. Abrams, the guy knows his stuff. Effects,
cinematography, production design; all of those things are
outstanding. The new bridge looks so fucking cool I wanted to go out
and buy the playset immediately. I also like the sneeze shield in the
transporter room. You can’t ever be too careful. The costumes are
great, too. They are instantly recognizable but completely updated.
J.J. Abrams says he wasn’t even a
Trek fan when he signed on, but he has still managed to put together
one amazing love letter to Gene Roddenberry. Go see this movie as
soon as you possibly can. Not only is it a great starting point for
new fans, it actually serves as a beautiful conclusion to old stories
for existing fans. The galaxy is now full of fresh, new
possibilities.
5
out of 5 Immolated Redshirts
-Phantom
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