Toy Review Masters of the Universe Classics Snake Face By Mattel

I suppose these are going about as well as I expected. The videos aren’t getting as many hits as the posts, but I think that’s because the casual Googler has been somewhat eliminated over there. And I can only assume over time that audience will build; though I’m hoping to bring them here. That’s part of the reason why I’m keeping the pictures on this page rather than doing any kind of slideshow in my video reviews. I don’t want to be a YouTube toy reviewer. Not my bag.

          Speaking of which, I now have another reason to not care for video toy reviews – they’re fucking boring. Or the ones I watched for reference are. I’m not going to name any names, but they were slideshows with snoozefest voice-overs. Very well-produced. Much better than mine. But I’m not interested in doing that. Or anything that anybody else is doing, for that matter.

For the most part I want to do my own thing on the site, my podcasts, and these toy reviews. It’s what I do. If I were making any money off of this or had any hope of supporting myself and my family by writing about dorkery I would certainly do whatever I thought I needed to in order to draw in and please the masses. But I do this because I enjoy doing it. And also because I need something to do to pass the time at work.

So Snake Face here is the April release from Mattycollector.com’s Club Eternia subscription. He’s part of the Snake Men (obviously), but is very different from the rest of his reptilian cohorts. Find out how now!

I really like Snake Face, even with his hideous and terrifying non-snakey head.

• I ended up giving my Snake Face the bright green Clawful mace from the last Weapons Pack. It made sense to me that he would have a bludgeoning weapon to shatter his enemies after he turns them to stone. I was going to give him the silver one that came with the Snake Men 2-pack, but the Clawful one almost sort-of matches his shield.
• I still can’t decide how much the lack of detail on the red snakes bothers me. I do like that they’re red (there was some internet controversy over whether they should be red or green), but just some minor painted detail would have made a big difference. Of course, they could be some kind of ghostly demon snakes that he just summons out of his face and bellybutton. But then they should be translucent. Which would be AMAZING.
• His shield is way tiny.

4 out of 5

There might be some out there who don’t give a darn about the Snake Men, so you might luck out and find this guy on eBay for a non-insane price. Otherwise you can always hit up BigBadToyStore.com.

-Phantom