I
ended up going over five posts for Predator Week, but I’m sure you
guys won’t mind. Because today is the day that I talk about all of
the other stuff. This is going to be even more
stream-of-consciousness than usual, so bear with me. I did some
last-minute viewing and perusing for this one, so I’m going to
write as it comes to me.
There
are also a lot of things about that movie that I do not like. At all.
I don’t want to use this post to review a single movie, so I’m
just going to hit on a few things:
- Aside from Lance Henrikson and Spud from Trainspotting the cast is just awful. The female lead delivers lines like somebody who has never had to deal with shitty dialogue before and that just won’t fly in an Anderson movie. There’s a certain amount of gleeful abandon you have to possess (see – Milla Jovovich) to make it work. This lady is not gleeful. As a matter of fact, she’s a downright drag. Everybody is. The tone of the movie doesn’t even feel like an Anderson joint because nobody is having any fun.
- The Predators look goofy as fuck. Why are they so fat? And all of the extra bullshit on their armor is absolutely unnecessary. The minor changes between Predator and Predator 2 were perfect. They didn’t seem like upgrades so much as differences in design. The armor in AvP looks like Rob Liefeld designed X-Treem Prederators for a 90’s comic book.
- The Predators’ weapons, however, were awesome. The Glaive-like thing, the retracting trident spear, and the detail of the constricting net winding up were all very cool to see. And I have to say that the Predators did move well. All of the fight scenes looked great. My only issue with them was the cinematographer’s use of quick cuts and shaky cam. That’s lazy as shit and made the fights and big action scenes less impactful.
- The Xenomorphs also looked amazing. Actually, all of the effects in the movie were outstanding. Which is a trademark of Anderson’s work. There were times where I actually couldn’t tell if things were practical or CGI and that’s pretty impressive.
- While I was hoping for the story from the original AvP series from Dark Horse, this story is actually very good and makes a whole lot of sense. The concept of Predators building pyramids as a giant hatchery and breeding ground for Xenomorphs is cool. And the remote setting works. Anderson went to great pains to not contradict anything from previous or possible future films and I think he succeeded. Also, it seemed like they were playing with the idea of making the female lead the equivalent of Machiko Noguchi from the comics. But then didn’t.
- One Xenomorph does not equal one Predator. While the fight between one of the Predators and one of the Xenomorphs in that one area is visually awesome, it doesn’t work. The Xenomorphs’ strength is in sheer numbers. One-on-one they shouldn’t survive against Predators. And the thing is, that fight would have been even more awesome if it had been against five Xenomorphs. Heck, within the same movie a small group of Predators is shown fending off a swarm of Xenomorphs for a time.
- All of the stuff with the Queen was awesome. From the egg chamber setup to her interaction with the Warriors to how they ended up freeing her by dripping their acid blood on the chains to the big final fight scene. Every shot of the Queen looked great and the fact that she was so well characterized without ever uttering a word was impressive.
- It was totally unacceptable to make this a PG-13 movie. Combining two of the best R-rated franchises of all time should not have watered them down. It boggles the mind that Kenner was making “5 and up” toys based on the earlier R-rated movies and McFarlane Toys – who have no boundaries whatsoever – ended up making the PG-13 toys.
I
can’t totally pan this thing. There are some truly great ideas and
visuals that just got bogged down by decisions that were made to
appease FOX and their perception of theater audiences at the time. I
think if this same movie were made now a lot of things would be very
different.
2
out of 5
And
then there’s Alien
Versus Predator: Requiem.
Apparently
I let somebody borrow that one and never got it back. Either that or
it was one of the movies that we lost in the flood. I’m not sure.
But I wasn’t able to watch it again in time for this. I remember
liking it more than AvP,
but I’ve only seen it once. I bought it, but never watched it
again. Not the best sign. I might do a review down the road, because
now I have
to find out.
Discussing
Dark Horse’s Alien and Predator comics is a daunting task. There
are so many of them, it’s been a long time since I read most of
them, and even the Alien
Versus Predator
series aren’t that fresh in my mind despite the fact that I’ve
read them all within the past few years thanks to the Omnibus
editions.
But
I can tell you where I got into Dark Horse’s comics. As a matter of
fact, the series might well have been the first comics I bought from
Dark Horse.
As
I have mentioned before, Chris Claremont’s run on Uncanny
X-Men
is what made me a comic book collector. Batman as a character was my
gateway and opened me up to reading comic books, but Claremont’s
compelling ongoing narrative is what hooked me. So when I found out
(possibly through Previews, possibly from the guys at the comic shop)
that Claremont was writing a comic about Aliens and Predators I had
no choice but to check it out.
Alien/Predator:
Deadliest of the Species
is an epic, 12-issue comic book series written by Claremont and drawn
by Jackson Guice and Eduardo Barretto. Oh, and another big selling
point were the beautiful covers by John Bolton. It ran from late 1993
through early 1995 and it changed my mind about licensed media tie-in
comic books. Not that I had even heard that phrase at that point, but
I knew from experience that comic books that were directly tied into
movie projects tended to suck.
But
DOTS
(normally I hate abbreviating things, but I’m not typing
“Alien/Predator:
Deadliest of the Species”
more than once) was a high water mark of 90’s comics. The story was
typical Claremont – layers of intrigue, tons of engrossing
characters, and a level of personal drama that stopped just shy of
being soap opera-esque. The visuals were distinctive and created a
very different world that sucked you into the narrative. I wouldn’t
know this until later, but it feels almost like a Moebius comic in
its other-worldliness.
I’m
honestly not quite sure how to describe the plot without giving too
much away, but it takes place in the future when Earth has been
overrun by Xenomorphs. The central character is the trophy wife of a
powerful man. There is a big, mysterious secret. There are
mercenaries and there are Predators and there is a villain more
insidious and evil than the Aliens or Predators. It’s a damned good
read and I’d put it up against any current comics. The whole thing
is collected in Alien
vs. Predator Omnibus Volume 2,
along with a few other stories worth your while.
One
of the most surprising entries are the Batman
Versus Predator comics,
a joint effort between DC Comics and Dark Horse. There were three
different miniseries and the first one actually predated DOTS
by a couple of years. Dave Gibbons wrote and the Kubert brothers
provided the art. It was essentially Predator
2 with
Batman instead of Danny Glover and if you think that’s a great idea
you’re right. Despite being a complete rehash of the sequel, which
was already very similar to the original; Batman
Versus Predator
was a fun miniseries.
I
own the second series and liked it so much that I didn’t buy the
third.
There are a lot more crossovers featuring Predators - Tarzan Versus Predator, Alien Versus Predator Versus Terminator, Batman Versus Superman Versus Alien Versus Predator, Predator Versus Pee-Wee Herman (just kidding). I haven't read those, but I will if I come across them. I remember being particularly intrigued by the Tarzan one, but never picking it up for some reason.
And that's it for Predator Week. Come back tomorrow for a review of a toy I didn't think I'd bother buying, but ended up being thoroughly enchanted by.
-Phantom
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