We
went to the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus last Friday
and – as is my wont – I am going to write about it.
I’ve
never been partial to the circus. I don’t know why, but it just
never appealed to me that much. I didn’t dislike
the concept, I just didn’t care. I have been to several different
circuses at different times throughout my life. I remember going to
the above circus when I was young, but I don’t remember specifics.
I don’t think it made much of an impression.
Oh,
the poop stories I could regale you with here. But today is circus
day!
I
think I attended a few other circuses, but it’s definitely been at
least twenty years since the last one. I’ve never seen that
traveling Frenchy pervert show that is Cirque du Soleil and I don’t
intend to. But when the opportunity came up to get free tickets to
see the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus I was excited.
I’ve
found that many experiences are enhanced by having a kid with me.
Things that I might not care about or would find boring suddenly
become exciting and different when you are sharing them with fresh,
young eyes and a mind that is absorbing every little piece of
stimulus like a sponge does water. Every new experience leads to
learning more not only about my son, but also about myself and human
development in general.
One
thing about sharing new experiences is that you have to be prepared
to abandon them. I always go into movies or activities or whatever
that my son is experiencing for the first time ready to pack up early
and go home. After a reasonable amount of discussion, of course. But
I’m not going to make him sit through something he isn’t
enjoying. My dad did that to me with countless different things and
it didn’t make me like those things, it just made me not like my
dad.
So
we got set up to go to the circus. Me and the missus discussed
whether or not to go an hour early to meet the performers and
whatnot, but decided against it. The attention span of a
five-year-old is an unpredictable thing. We figured we’d be doing
well to make it through an hour of circus, never mind adding an hour
of unspecified events on the front end. Also, we would have had to
leave the house extra early to deal with rush hour traffic.
We
made it downtown easily enough. I don’t particularly like being
down there and I certainly don’t like taking Lil’ Troublemaker
down there, but in the interest of Fun Family Time I’ll deal with
it. We parked a bit further away than we needed to, but it was a lot
I’ve used before and I knew exactly where it was in respect to
Phillips Arena. We wouldn’t have to wander anywhere or get our
bearings after the event. It was a decent little walk to CNN Center,
but we made it in good time. As soon as we got inside I found a
bathroom.
I
need to go back a bit here. I find taking my son into public
restrooms to be an absolute nightmare. I hate
using public restrooms, but over the years I have grown to accept
that sometimes it is a thing that just has to happen. But they are
fucking filthy and disgusting and I do my best to not have any more
contact with anything than I have to. A five-year-old does not have
the same understanding of the concept of not touching anything. Lil’
Troublemaker is definitely grossed out by public restrooms, but not
nearly enough. He simply doesn’t appreciate all of the different
ways that you have to control your body and clothing and whatever
else to minimize contact with the filth. So when I accompany him into
one I become a neurotic mess. And the nightmare of all nightmares
would be to have to take him into a Phillips Arena restroom. Quite
literally. The night before the circus I actually had a nightmare
about taking him to the restroom in Phillips. God forbid he needs to
poop.
I’d probably just take him behind the bleachers.
Anyway,
the CNN Center has relatively acceptable restrooms. We hit those and
managed to not touch anything. Then we entered Phillips Arena.
It
was pretty awesome right from the start. As soon as we got inside,
there were brightly lit kiosks covered in cotton candy, flavored ice,
stuffed animals, and all manner of other circus-oriented merchandise.
The circus actually travels around with themed kiosks to sell their
wares and it made a huge difference in the atmosphere. While there
were no actual games or attractions, the perimeter of the arena felt
like a carnival and put you in a certain mood. Wanting to get Lil’
Troublemaker into things as quickly as possible, I asked him if he
saw anything he wanted – cotton candy, a crazy hat, a plastic tiger
with rainbow-colored ice in its head? But he wasn’t interested.
The
show had already started when we got to our seats, and in what was
probably the best possible situation the Big Cats were in the center
ring. My son loves animals and nothing is going to capture his
interest faster than animals doing stuff. And these were huge
animals acting dangerous and doing stuff.
The
Lion Tamer (is that what you call him?) put on a heck of a show and
our son was on the edge of his seat the whole time. The cats – one
huge male lion, four tigers, and four lionesses – performed
specific routines at his command. On occasion one of the cats would
swipe at the Tamer with a huge paw or sometimes even snap at him with
their maws full of teeth; thrilling the audience. I’m sure all of
that is just part of the show, but it worked. The cats and the Tamer
went through a series of sitting, standing, and jumping routines that
culminated in the male lion sitting on top of a massive, rotating
disco ball with the Tamer.
After
they left, the lights dimmed and six orbs covered with silken tarps
were raised into the air on either side of the floor. Once they
reached a certain height, the tarps fell away to reveal transparent
globes with girls inside. They performed a routine that involved all
kinds of writhing about inside of the spheres. Then the spheres
opened up and the girls started dangling without a net or harness
high above the floor. Our jaws collectively dropped as we watched
these girls hang out of the opened spheres and perform all sorts of
physical feats.
Once
they retreated into their spheres, two elephants sporting the livery
of the circus came out from the back. Each had a rider on top. I
didn’t realize until they dismounted that they could have been
twins.
I
want to take a second here to acknowledge the Ringmaster. He was
absolutely fantastic all night. I don’t know how much of what he
did I have in me, but from now on I think I am going to aspire to be
more of a Ringmaster for MCW than a ring announcer. That may be a
subtle difference or it may be something that I just can’t quite
do, but he was my favorite part of the show. He held everything
together and gave a certain grand air to the proceedings. Everything
that happened seemed just a bit more special because he was
introducing it and that’s what I want my MCW performance to be.
So
the Ringmaster introduced the girls as the Hair-Hanging Twins (or
something) as a large harness descended from the ceiling and the
girls attached hoops woven into their hair to that harness which then
lifted them from the elephants’ backs and into the air. By
their hair.
It was crazy. The two spent the next several minutes performing feats
of follicle strength that were never technically more impressive than
the initial hanging, but simply involved different positions and
seemed
more death-defying. But then the finale got seriously more crazy:
No
net, nothing.
And
then the Ringmaster started singing about dragons, which I was
totally not expecting. And the song was really
catchy,
which I would have expected even less if I had known enough to expect
songs in the first place. It turns out there was a theme to the show
(which we had missed by being a few minutes late) and it was about
the Ringmaster’s dwarf buddy having the heart of a dragon. So we
get a whole song and dance (literally) about dragons. And it was
good.
Then
the Shaolin Monks came out.
Their
first demonstration was bringing out quarter staffs (or maybe
buck-and-a-quarter quarter staffs) and breaking them across one
another’s backs, chests, heads, and arms. It was nuts. Lil’
Troublemaker was blown away. The Monks followed that with feats of
strength, skill, and tolerance such as bending iron bars with their
chests, balancing on spear heads, and diving through rings of flaming
swords. While blindfolded:
It
was all really impressive and a part of the show I wasn’t
expecting. Of course, I didn’t know what to expect. I went into the
circus not knowing anything except that there was some vaguely
defined dragon theme. Apparently my son was better informed, because
at one point he leaned over and told me he wanted to leave when the
dragon came out. I had no idea what he was talking about and didn’t
know why he thought a dragon would be coming out. I found out later
that Mrs. Troublemaker had told him about the dragon expecting to get
him excited about the circus, but instead had made him nervous about
the possibility of being burned to a crisp at the circus. Sometimes
she doesn’t think these things through.
After
the Shaolin Monks finished the clowns came out and did a parody of
what we had just seen it was pretty funny and it had Lil’
Troublemaker cracking up, particularly after one of the clowns jumped
through the hoop of swords, drank some water, and sprang leaks all
over his body.
The
clowns were as constant and important a part of the show as the
Ringmaster. They were always hovering around the perimeter, playing
along with whatever was happening in the three rings. Several stood
out as being “main” clowns. You could tell they were senior
performers and sort of in charge of the antics.
Next
up were a pair of acrobat teams. They started by flipping back and
forth between balance beams:
And
then from the balance beams to stacks of people:
Each
act had its own particular type of style and entertainment value and
they all moved so fast you never had a chance to get bored. I can’t
remember exactly when, but at some point the dragon poked its head
out of the main curtain. Lil’ Troublemaker saw it and said he
wanted to leave, but I told him that it wasn’t coming out yet and
that I didn’t think it would until the end of the show.
Next
up were the aerialists and I made a point of telling Lil’
Troublemaker that that’s what Dick Grayson’s family did. He knows
that already, but I always try to relate things to him. Robin is his
favorite comic book character and Dick is his favorite Robin. Thanks
to Young Justice he’s starting to like Tim and he likes Damian
because of his hood and also the fact that he’s actually Batman’s
son.
I
suppose the aerialists were good, but for some reason I wasn’t all
that interested in them. As astonishing as what they were doing was,
I was still reeling from those chicks in the globes and the hair
girls. They did their thing without a net.
Next
up were some clowns doing a riff on the princess in the tower thing.
It was pretty funny and ended up with the dwarf rescuing her, but the
bit featured an awful lot of bad music. The kids all loved it,
though.
After
that it was animal time and the point where Lil’ Troublemaker just
about lost his mind trying to keep track of everything that was going
on. In the left ring there was a young lady putting goats, ponies,
and I think a tiny llama through a series of tricks and maneuvers.
The rightmost ring featured a couple of trainers and about eight or
nine different cats doing tricks on hoops, poles, and risers.
But
the center ring was the big show. That’s where ten dogs of varying
breeds were performing the most amazing variety of canine tricks I
had ever seen. And my son’s eyes were as big as dinner plates. He
tried to keep track of the goats and he’d glance over at the cats
from time to time, but those dogs were blowing his mind. I was quite
taken with them myself, as I only actually got a couple of pictures.
I found myself just sitting there watching him watch the dogs. The
bit ended with a breathtaking stunt where the main dog – he might
have been a Jack Russell – was raised high up into the air and
jumped off of a platform into his trainer’s arms.
Once
the animals went to the back, the acrobats came back out and did
some absolutely crazy stunts. They started off by flipping from
teeter-totters onto the shoulders of stacks of people. They ended by
flipping perfectly onto chairs at the tops of twenty-foot poles. It
was really amazing. So amazing that I once again failed to take
pictures. At this point Lil’ Troublemaker was totally into
everything that was happening and between watching his reactions to
everything and actually trying to watch everything I found myself
taking fewer pictures.
I
don’t remember exactly when it happened, but there was a point
where a line descended from the ceiling. The Ringmaster’s little
dwarf buddy – the one trying to prove he had the heart of a dragon
– grabbed onto the handholds and proceeded to do his own aerial
act; probably about twenty feet in the air. Lil’ Troublemaker
absolutely flipped out. It was damned impressive.
After
the acrobats it was time for the signature stars of the Ringling
Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus – the elephants. I don’t
know what it was, but this was the one act where everybody in the
arena seemed equally entranced. There was just something mesmerizing,
special, and classic about watching those pachyderms dance and
perform.
I
don’t know how I feel about the show’s chosen Main Event. The
last major act was the thing where motorcycle stunt drivers ride
around in a huge steel sphere. I’m not going to deny that it’s
amazing. It also provides a great visual and creates the same
breathless atmosphere that the girls in the orbs and the dog jumping
off of the pole had. But even when I was a kid – and I remember
when they introduced this bit – I felt like the motorcycles weren’t
very circus-y. The big, loud pieces of machinery just didn’t seem
to fit in with everything else; all of which is some form of organic
animal achievement. I still feel the same way.
But
I didn’t mention any of that to Lil’ Troublemaker who simply
could not believe that all of those motorcycles were driving into the
sphere. He stood up out of his seat when our buddy the dwarf got on
his own little motorcycle and entered with them.
After
a few rounds of stunts, the ringmaster asked if we were ready for
eight motorcycles. At this point a funny thought occurred to me and I
very deliberately took a picture and posted it to Instagram with this
caption:
“Eight
motorcycles! Meanwhile, the L5P Halloween parade can’t even have
one!”
It’s
a reference to the fact that a lone motorcycle got out of control
while going approximately five miles per hour and crashed into the
back of a van at Atlanta’s most popular alternative culture
Halloween event. It was embarrassing for all involved.
After
the motorcycles, it was time for the Grand Finale, and it was indeed
grand. Our dwarf buddy ascended to the top of the motorcycle globe
and did a dragon-summoning dance while the Ringmaster sang the dragon
song. And when that dragon’s head parted the curtain and then the
body followed and my son just sat there and watched without saying
anything or asking to leave, I knew that the circus had done its job.
It had won him over. By the end he trusted them that whatever was
going on was going to be worth his while and worth overcoming his
anxiety about dragons to stay and see. And he was right.
To
me the dragon was a big piece of machinery mounted on top of a couple
of pneumatic lifts. It was a little wobbly but pretty neat-looking.
When it breathed fire you could see the nozzle in its mouth pouring
out the green flame. It went in a circle around the dancing midget
and then back behind the curtain.
To
my son, this was a massive scaled beast flying majestically through
the arena, beholden to the commands of the Ringmaster’s dwarven
sidekick; who had earned the right to commune with the great lizard.
The smoke filling the arena wasn’t there to conceal the mechanism
lifting and propelling this dragon; it was there because this thing
was flying through the air and belching fire all over the place. He
asked me how the dragon was moving and rather than spoil the illusion
I just told him I didn’t know.
Afterward
the Ringmaster gave the dwarf his props for having the heart of the
dragon and everybody came back out for a big musical number. “You’ve
Got the Dragon In You” may not be the best song ever, but I’ve
got to say that last Friday it totally was.
When
the circus comes to your town, go. Especially if you’ve got kids.
It was a fantastic night for all three of us. Two things, though –
first, go early and meet the performers. Second, there is seating
available on the floor of the arena. I don’t know how much it is.
It might be insanely expensive. But if you can afford it, do it. I
can’t even imagine how amazing it would be to sit that close to all
of the action. But whatever the case and wherever you sit, get out to
that circus. It really was the Greatest Show On Earth.
-Phantom
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