Ladies
and gentlemen and Phantomaniacs around the world! It is time once
again for the Phanties! The non-existent awards that I hand out via
blog post at the end of every year since 200… something. Probably
“9”.
2012
was a great year. I don’t even really have anything snarky to say.
Lots of good entertainment, lots of good toys, lots of good times.
Probably one of my favorite years so far. This is the year I became
the co-host of a podcast, I was on panels at TimeGate and Dragon*Con,
I became the ring announcer for Monstrosity Championship Wrestling,
and I hosted my own podcast for the first time. As I write this I am
just a couple of days away from possibly even recording and producing
my own podcast about Masters of the Universe. By the time you read
this we’ll all know if that happened or not (it did).
On
top of all that I have the best wife in the world and a son who
literally makes every single day better and more worth living. He was
given the part of the angel, Gabriel in his preschool Christmas play.
He said he had wanted to be the donkey. Too bad, son – this
greatness will be thrust upon you your whole life. Get used to it.
You’re gonna be a Big Deal.
Alright,
time to take a look at how much awesome we got this year and what was
the best of the best.
Best
Movie – Avengers
It
was this or Cabin
in the Woods.
Well played, Joss Whedon. I saw this movie three times in the theater
and I haven’t seen a movie three times in the theater since… I
don’t know when. I couldn’t wait to see it, I couldn’t wait to
bring other people to see it, I couldn’t wait to talk about it.
Every single second of this movie is just a bunch of awesome. Yeah,
when you see it with a four-year-old you realize just how much
talking there is, but Avengers
is still nearly a perfect movie.
And
no – Dark
Knight Rises
wasn’t even a close second. Or third probably. There are parts of
that movie I absolutely love, but there are an equal number of parts
that I hate with a passion.
Check
out my reviews for both:
Best
Ongoing Comic Book –
Wolverine
& the X-Men
Jason
Aaron has pulled quite a trick with this book. It’s one I almost
wasn’t going to buy when it started because I am not a huge fan of
(artist). Well, let me amend that – I only like his style on
certain kinds of books. He’s awesome on Spider-Man or Power Pack or
stuff that has a certain humor and can be a little silly. I’m okay
with a certain amount of cartoonish-ness in that kind of book. But
I’ve never liked it when he was on the X-books. I can’t take dark
and angsty when the characters look like Looney Toons.
But
then I bought Wolverine
& the X-Men
and found out it was one of those types of books. While it was
addressing a lot of the same serious issues the X-Men always had, it
had humor and a heart and was a lot more fun than any X-Men book I’ve
ever read. So it became a “top of my stack” book every month.
And
then Nick Bradshaw started trading with (artist) and they got me.
I’ve
been following Bradshaw’s work since he was on Army
of Darkness.
I’ll be the first to admit that I hated his style for those books
at first. But eventually his amazing attention to detail, fantastic
characterization, and gorgeous backgrounds won me over. Seriously –
I have spent longer looking at one page of Bradshaw’s work than I
have with other whole comics.
Also,
they just introduced Frankenstein’s Monster as a new villain who
uses a circus to suck people’s souls out so he can remain alive
long enough to murder every last descendent of Doctor Frankenstein.
Yeah.
Oh, and the image above is the cover for the second-runner-up for Best Single Issue.
“Something
to Fear” – The
Walking Dead
I
don’t want to go too in-depth for those that may not have read
these comics, but Robert Kirkman did the impossible and delivered on
the expectations built up around the hundredth issue of The
Walking Dead.
The issues leading up to it told a fantastic story that felt fresh
and new despite building on themes Kirkman has been exploring for
almost a decade now.
Saga
#1
This
is possibly the best first issue of a comic book that I have ever
read. I was hooked immediately. There was no sense of, “We’ll see
how this goes,” or “I don’t quite understand it, but okay,”.
It was instantly engrossing and just fucking magical. Saga
is the comic that kept me reading comics when I was looking at ways
to cut spending a few months ago. I knew I couldn’t stop reading
Saga,
and I knew if I had to go to the comic shop I couldn’t stop reading
comics.
I
watched all seventy-seven episodes of this show in about two weeks.
It is amazing. The character growth and development is fantastic, the
way that the multiple story arcs interweave with the overarching
narrative over the course of a season is engrossing, and the cast is
just wonderful. Amy Poehler and Rashida Jones are both tremendous
comedians who are nice to look at. And Aubrey Plaza has some of the
most subtle and interesting timing on TV. And is too young for me to
say anything else about. Chris Pratt and Aziz Ansari play characters
that I would have no tolerance for in real life but whom I have come
to care about thanks to the actors’ characterizations. Adam Scott
and Rob Lowe were both great additions and Jim O’Heir and Retta
have taken background roles and made them indispensible to the tone
of the show.
And
then there’s Ron Fucking Swanson. Nick Offerman’s character was
dangerously close to being an easily dismissed liberal caricature of
a Libertarian, but has been fleshed out and shown to have a good
heart and strong character underneath his iron will and bulldozing
practicality. If I didn’t have such a genuine admiration for Leslie
Knope he would be my favorite character on the show.
Parks
and Recreation
is clever and hilarious, but most importantly it is good-natured.
There is very little cynicism or mean-spiritedness on the show. While
good intentions and hard work often lead to mishap, they almost
always win out in the end. There is a bright, shining positivity to
this show that makes it stand out among the dark, jaded landscape
that is modern television.
Elementary
was so, so
close to winning this one. While I think Johnny Lee Miller may be my
favorite Sherlock Homes, and I love the interaction between him and
Lucy Liu’s Watson; the show isn’t quite fantastic enough for me
to truly love. Something that firmly entrenched in the real world –
no matter how implausible portions of it may be – will never be a
favorite of mine.
Arrow,
on the other hand, is plenty wacky enough.
I
can’t honestly say that there is any one portion of the show that
is great. The dude playing Oliver is okay, Dinah
Laurel Lance is nice to look at, the action is very solid, Diggle is
a different and refreshing character. And of course you’ve got
Captain Jack as Tommy Merlin’s dad and the absolutely perfectly
cast young lady that’s playing Huntress. Not to mention Lincoln Lee
as Count Vertigo and Crixus as Deathstroke. These things all come
together to make something very appealing, but the real magic is that
the show runners are respecting the world of comics. Not necessarily
the world of Green Arrow – I can’t speak to that. I’ve only
ever read The
Longbow Hunters and
probably not more than ten other comics starring Oliver Queen. I know
him better from Justice
League Unlimited, Young Justice, and
Batman:
Brave and the Bold
than anything else. So I may miss some little details like Speedy not
being Ollie’s little sister (just kidding – that’s a pretty
glaring change), but I know comics and I know this show isn’t
simultaneously lifting from them and disparaging them the way some
others do.
I
think it was stated from the beginning that Arrow’s
creators wanted to capture Nolan’s big-screen Batman magic on the
small screen and I think they have succeeded. As a matter of fact,
they may have done one better. The world of Arrow
already feels slightly more fantastic and accommodating to comic book
elements. The show has not gone out of its way to eliminate the
possibility of the likes of Mr. Freeze or even Poison Ivy, but it has
also established a more serious tone that comforts viewers with the
soft words, “No,
my dear fans – we aren’t Smallville…”
and thank goodness for that.
Still,
Ollie needs to just go ahead and wear a mask. That facepaint is
silly.
I
was all ready to hate on this Jordan dude when I first caught wind of
his show. I figured he was just out to cash in on the collectibles
craze (which, granted, has hit a fairly severe lull in the last
decade) and wouldn’t know his shit. Not like I
do, anyway. And while he does get stumped on the weirdest things from
time to time (how do you not know a Bumblejumper when you see one?),
the guy has legit toy cred. I bow to his knowledge, and that is not
something I do lightly or easily. Being a toy expert is a point of
pride with me and there are honestly not a lot of people out there
that I would consider superior to myself. Plenty of equals, probably,
but not a lot of betters.
Also,
the guy is just sweet. Seeing him protect sellers from their own
ignorance is always great (insisting somebody take more money for an
item or offering to broker it for them) and he truly is a great
made-for-TV host. I’ve become totally addicted to the show and a
genuine admirer of Jordan Hembrough.
I
guess maybe some might disagree, but I didn’t hesitate or think for
a second on this one. I don’t see how there can be any doubt that
CM Punk is truly the best in the world right now. He is the best on
the mic, he does not have matches that are less than great, he has
held the WWE Championship since (whenever), and in 2012 he was the
recipient of one of the amazing biography/retrospective/best-of DVDs
that WWE does so well when they sit down and try. Punk’s DVD set
ranks right up there with Dusty’s, Flair’s, and HHH’s and those
are some of the best DVDs (wrestling or otherwise) I own.
Punk
is one of the masters. He has already cemented himself as one of
WWE’s Chosen Elite in his short time with the company.
(That picture may not actually be from that night, but you get the idea)
I didn’t believe for a second this was going to happen. Mat “Sex” Sells and his lovely wife Jen hosted Wrestling With Pop Culture’s Jonathan Williams’ birthday party at their home and it was a viewing of TNA’s Destination X pay-per-view. I had been ignoring TNA for over at year back then, but had tuned in when Impact went live at the beginning of the summer. There was still a lot of garbage I could have done without, but overall the show seemed streamlined and featured some great matches.
I didn’t believe for a second this was going to happen. Mat “Sex” Sells and his lovely wife Jen hosted Wrestling With Pop Culture’s Jonathan Williams’ birthday party at their home and it was a viewing of TNA’s Destination X pay-per-view. I had been ignoring TNA for over at year back then, but had tuned in when Impact went live at the beginning of the summer. There was still a lot of garbage I could have done without, but overall the show seemed streamlined and featured some great matches.
Destination
X was a
great pay-per-view overall, but the Main Event was outstanding. I
have been a fan of Austin Aries’ work for a long time now and was
impressed just with the fact that he was even in a title match. As
for Robert Roode, I was fine with him when he was in Team Canada as
Bobby Roode, but I had never bought into the guy as a convincing
singles competitor, let alone as the top Champion. But from that
first Impact
I tuned back into Roode had been carrying himself like the top guy.
He looked and acted like a Main Eventer and I bought into it. Going
into the PPV I knew Aries didn’t have a chance, but I was very
interested in the match. When Aries actually defeated Roode –
cleanly, no less – I was ecstatic.
“Demigod”
Mason defeated Shane Marx to unite the Empire and PCW Titles
I
did the same thing here last year, where I had a “Biggest” holy
shit moment for televised wrestling and a “Best” holy shit moment
for wrestling in general. The “Best” moment is technically better
than the “Biggest” moment.
This
was a Big Moment. I thought for sure that the Empire was going to
gain permanent control of Platinum Championship Wrestling. The odds
were in Empire Champion Shane Marx’s favor. Mason didn’t seem to
have a chance in hell, regardless of his talent and determination.
But after an amazing match that saw Mason receive the most gruesome
wound I have ever seen at a live wrestling event, the Demigod emerged
victorious and unified the PCW and Empire Championships. It was an
outstanding match and a truly historic moment.
Best
Album –
Dayglo
Necros
– Calabrese
Calabrese
just keep cranking out exceptional albums. Every single one is a
must-have and Dayglo
Necros
is no different. From the opening riffs of"The Dead Don't Rise" to the final 13th track "Sea of Dirt", this whole album is one big singalong.
CM
Punk: Best in the World
This
slot was taken by the Prometheus
Blu-Ray until I finally sat down and watched this Punk bio disc. It’s
excellent. It covers every aspect of his career from the backyard
days to Ring of Honor to WWE (no mention of TNA, though). Punk isn’t
shy about discussing his disdain for WWE management and his
difficulties adjusting to a career there. The bio portion – as is
usually the case with these releases – is fantastic, but the
included matches are also great. There are also interviews with Ace
Steel, Colt Cabana, Joey Mercury, and many other people from Punk’s
life and career. This is the first Blu-Ray I’ve actually sat down
and watched every single minute of in a long time.
Also,
it’s really funny to see how fat Punk was when he came out of OVW.
“Skinny fat ass”, indeed.
Adventure
Time With Finn & Jake
For
the second year in a row Adventure
Time wins.
The show just keeps getting better and deeper. I never imagined we
would get an ongoing narrative involving world-building and character
development from this silly show, but that’s exactly what is going
on. It’s one of the most complex shows on television. Honestly –
a smarter person than me could probably make a convincing argument
that Adventure
Time is
richer and more cerebral than Fringe,
resulting in what is ultimately a more fulfilling episodic
experience. Plus, it has fart jokes.
Reel
Toys by NECA
I
don’t want to call it a comeback because NECA has been steadily
cranking toys out for years now. But 2012 is the year they snuck in
with new licenses, new figures, and new techniques to snatch a whole
lot of money out of my wallet. Their ever-expanding Reel Toys line
has produced some of the most remarkable figures I have seen in my
thrity-plus years of toy collecting. Not only are the sculpts spot-on
and full of detail, the methods of articulation get more complex and
effective with every release. The company’s proficiency with toys
has grown to the point where I am anticipating new innovations even
more than the character itself. Sure, I’m excited about the new
ALIENS
figures, but I’m even more excited to see how NECA has made them
awesome.
Playmates
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles line gets an honorable mention, but the
amount of effort they’re putting into things varies a good bit. The
Turtles themselves are fantastic, but the paint and articulation on
the rest of the line is questionable. I was very disappointed that
the new van doesn’t even have an actual interior – no seats or
anything. I also just realized I never reviewed it. I need to correct
that.
BigBad
take it again this year, mostly due to their Pile Of Loot system. You
can preorder and order products, then wait until everything arrives
and have it all shipped at once to save on shipping. Also, BBTS seems
to have come down just a hair on their prices. All in all I have an
excellent experience every time I buy from these guys and they make
collecting what might otherwise be expensive and difficult-to-find
toys easy.
I
only just recently found this site and it is amazing. Not necessarily
something you’re going to visit frequently after your first stop,
but it is loaded with awesome pictures and information on the
original Kenner Star Wars line. There are shots of prototypes,
mock-ups, Kenner’s Toy Fair booth from the time, and much more.
It’s a fascinating and interesting look at the greatest toy line of
all time.
Platinum
Championship Wrestling
Sacred
Ground Chapter III
This
is the single best live wrestling event I have ever seen. Every
single performer on the card gave everything they had to make this
the biggest night of the year. I was a wreck all weekend from having
to work days and then go to the show in Porterdale on Saturday night,
but it was worth it. I want a DVD of this event in its entirety so
bad.
Until then, we’re all just going to have to live with my recap.
Hey…
I just remembered – I never got my shirt! Dammit!
Imaginext
Eagle Talon Castle by Mattel
I
have to do something I don’t normally do here and give the award to
something that I didn’t even review. I don’t do reviews for Lil’
Troublemaker’s toys because, quite frankly, I just don’t have the
time. Plenty of his toys are more fun to play with and more
innovative than mine – most of them, actually – but I just can’t
photograph and review every toy that comes into the house.
But
this thing is fucking amazing. It might be one of the best toys I
have seen in my life, let alone in 2012.
First
of all, it’s huge.
Once this thing is folded out you have enough castle to house a small
army of Imaginext figures. And it’s three stories at its highest
level, so it definitely looms over the rest of your toy collection.
There’s a jail, a drawbridge, a treasure chest, a secret place to
hide the treasure chest, ladders that can be used inside or propped
on the outside for the invading army, doors that open and close,
switches that activate castle defenses, and tons more. The front
castle defense consists of two panels that flip up to protect the
walls, talons that rotate to lock the drawbridge, and an eagle head
turret that flips down and can shoot Imaginext’s trademark discs at
the enemy.
Speaking
of discs, the castle comes with six to shoot from the eagle turret.
It also includes four more discs that shoot out of two included
catapults, two knights, a king, various pieces of armor and weaponry,
a cannon, and two different colors of pennants that plug onto the
walls to denote which army is occupying the castle.
Then
there are the electronics. The torches on the front light up and
flicker and there are a ton of different phrases that emanate from
within when you use a switch. But that’s nothing.
This castle is also interactive with many toys and accessories from
the Imaginext line. The included cannon (meant for use with the
invading army) triggers cries of, “Incoming canon fire!”. But the
castle also responds to proximal use of a catapult, a battering ram,
a dragon, and an ogre. And by “proximal” I mean within five feet
or so. So a good distance. The extremely stereotypical
Scottish-accented voice will yell things like, “Look out for the
ogre!”, “Incoming boulders!”, “Don’t let the dragon bite
you!”, and such. You get the idea. Each separate toy prompts three
or four random phrases.
Santa
dropped one of these magnificent items off for Lil’ Troublemaker
and we spent the whole day playing with it. It generally retails for
about fifty bucks and it is worth every penny. I still don’t
understand how toy manufacturers can claim there is no market or
retail interest in playsets when wonderful things like this are being
made.
Obviously
anything from the Earth Station One Network is the best podcast ever,
but it would be a conflict of interests for me to award my own
podcast. So instead I’ll mention the podcast that got me listening
to podcasts and also gave me a desire to do my own
podcast (not that I ever will).
I’ve
been hearing about Marc Maron’s WTF
Podcast
for a long time now.
AJ
Lee
This
little nutjob was one of the most entertaining characters on WWE TV
all year. I often tell people that I don’t pay a whole lot of
attention to RAW or Smackdown unless CM Punk or Daniel Bryan is on
the screen, but I realized a few weeks ago that AJ got my attention
as well. She was involved in most of the pivotal angles of 2012 and
was entertaining and competent in every single instance. She’s a
great actress, a physical athlete, and quite nice to look at. Nine
times out of ten Divas come off as fake and ridiculous when they’re
acting to the camera, but AJ sold everything. Regardless of how
ridiculous or unbelievable the situations she had to portray might
have been, she made them work. Even the GM situation – which by all
rights should have been a disaster – worked perfectly. AJ is an
outstanding sports entertainer and I hope WWE does everything they
can to not only hang onto her but to continue to challenge her and
use her properly.
Good
job, Tee Fury contributor whose name I can’t remember.
Masters
of the Universe Classics
Fisto
Fisto
was the most perfect figure that came out in 2012. He came with every
accessory you could possibly want out of a Fisto and represented the
vintage and 2012 aspects of the character. Read more here
if you like. Fisto is great.
I
don’t know how the general public feels about Ted Turner’s chain
of Bison-oriented restaurants, but I love them. We only ate there
twice during the year, but it was great both times – food and
service-wise.
B.A.T.
But in all fairness I have to go with the guy who was dressed as one of my favorite action figures of all time, COBRA's Battle Android Trooper:
Joey
Belladonna Knows Me
“Hey,
man – you’re the blogger guy, right?”
That’s
what Joey Belladonna said to me when we met Anthrax back in February.
Since then I’ve been offered (and taken) a co-host spot on a
podcast, offered (and taken) a job as ring announcer for a wrestling
promotion, and just generally had a whole lot of people express
appreciation for the things I do in one way or another. It’s been
an amazing year for me. But man – Joey Belladonna. That was crazy.
-Phantom
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