You know what I like best about the
Snake Men? They hate everybody.
These serpentine humanoids are foes of
the Masters, Skeletor, and Hordak. And led by their King, Hssss, they
succeed in being a pain in the ass for all of the other factions. I
think there are two reasons for this:
- They are all snakes. Rather than being a disparate horde of assorted carnival freaks – guys with giant fists, super-long necks, or enchanted club feet – King Hssss’ subjects are all one big, fangy family.
- Everybody hates snakes. Historically, there is no more insidious or reviled villain than a snake. Indiana Jones hates them, they are basis for an entire religion of evil in Lair of the White Worm, and just look at all of the villainous characters with snake-based motifs:
- Kobra
- Viper
- The Serpent Society
- Jake “The Snake” Roberts – Not always evil, but when he was he was the best heel in the business
- Copperhead – Definitely the creepiest villain to be featured on Justice League Unlimited.
- (Sssss) – What is the only thing that could possibly make blatant misogynist Dirk Benedict even more evil? Turning into a damned, dirty snake.
- COBRA – A terrorist army who were so dedicated to the evil that serpents represent that they code-named everything after snakes.
Matty has really kicked out the snake
jams in 2012. I guess they felt bad for King Hssss having to hang out
all by himself with no scaly subordinates to kick around. We’ve
gotten Kobra Khan and Rattlor (though he came out later than
these guys) and now two generic Snake Men. But I will not allow these
brave warriors to go unnamed (mostly because it will make writing the
review easier). Where Mattel dropped the ball, I am going to step up
and christen…
Wait a minute – what’s the Eternian
word for “christen”? I don’t want to say “dub” because all
that needs is “step” following it and it becomes lame x 1000. I’m
not gonna lie – I would pay good money for an Encyclopedia Eternica
to answer questions like these.
I am going to step up and… name…
these fellows.
This is Scale Male.
And this is Asp-Hole.
I really wanted it to be the other way
around because I feel like the scaly guy just looks like more of a
jerk, but I couldn’t very well not call the scaly guy the scaly
name. I am reviewing these figures together rather than singly
because I almost always review things as they are packaged for
retail. For the most part I try to review things from the perspective
of examining the manufacturers’ intentions for the product.
First Glance: I’m not
entirely happy with the yellow. I don’t know why, but I was
expecting brown and was surprised to see yellow when I opened the
mailer. I mean, that’s my own dumbass fault because I had seen the
yellow time and again since these were revealed; but I guess my brain
just really wanted them to not be yellow. And it isn’t terrible by
any means, it just isn’t the color I would have chosen. Actually, I
wouldn’t have made these guys the same color. I would have made one
a bright, vibrant green and the other either a light brown or maybe
even purple. Still, they look good in the box and are just different
enough from Rattlor and Kobra Khan to be okay.
Articulation: There are
some minor variances here due to the sculpts being used, so I can’t
throw out my catch-all “standard Masters of the Universe Classics
articulation” line.
Scale Male
Head – ball joint
Shoulders – ball joint
Biceps – swivel
Elbows –pivot
Wrists – swivel
Waist – swivel
Hips – ball joint
Thighs – swivel
Knees – pivot
Ankles – rocker joint
Scale Male is mostly standard, but
lacks the calf articulation that most MOTUC figures have due to his
sculpt. I appreciate that the Horsemen left it out rather than
putting an ugly line across those scales. Besides that, if there’s
one joint this line could live without, it’s that one. I like
having it, but it doesn’t exactly add a ton of posability options.
The movement of the ankle joint is so
restricted that it might as well be a simple pivot. This is becoming
more and more common within the line and I’m not sure why. Previous
figures would just require a bit of movement to loosen the ankle
joint up, but recent releases just haven’t had a whole lot of
side-to-side movement. Actually, all of Scale-Male’s movement is
somewhat limited. I suppose it’s due to the thickness of his scaled
skin and I have to say I’m okay with it. But we’ll get into that
in the Sculpt section.
Like most MOTUC figures, the joints are
worked into the sculpt fairly well. All of them move freely and hold
poses well on my figure.
Asp-Hole
Head – ball joint
Shoulders – ball joint
Biceps – swivel
Elbows –pivot
Wrists – swivel
Waist – swivel
Hips – ball joint
Thighs – swivel
Knees – pivot
Calves - swivel
Ankles – rocker joint
Asp-Hole’s articulation works a
little better than Scale Male’s. But, like Kobra Khan, his elbows
do not pivot as much as you’d like. Otherwise all of the joints on
mine work well.
Sculpt: Scale Male looks
amazing. I absolutely love the detail of all the little scales on
this guy and I have to give Matty and the Horsemen credit for
sculpting them. They do make his joints a bit less functional and the
added thickness makes his elbows and knees downright wonky. But it
looks so good. For some reason I find it really amusing that this guy
retains all of his musculature through the scales.
This guy has a new neck piece that
thickens up the standard neck. It looks good and blends with the
torso, but it just doesn’t quite match up with the head. It isn’t
bad or even all that noticeable, but from behind it looks weird to
see the two combined.
I very much like the hands and feet on
this sculpt. The three-fingered hands are strange and off-putting.
The feet look like old-school Ninja Turtle feet. It’s cute and
charming on the Turtles, but creepy on Scale Male.
The head is new and unique. I’m going
to call the closed-mouth heads the standards. Scale Male’s is new
and unique and looks just as good as the rest of the body. The
sculpted scales are tiny and precise, the beady little eyes are
sinister-looking, and there are some ridges and horns to add a bit of
character. I wish the fangs were sharper.
Scale Male is sporting the longer furry
loin cloth favored by King Grayskull and Snake Man-At-Arms. I prefer
this one to the shorter one, but that’s neither here nor there.
Asp-Hole is a mixture of Kobra Khan
parts and regular villain parts. I would have liked it if he had a
snakier torso, but I’m also kind of glad they didn’t give him
Khan’s. It’s just a bit too distinctive to be sharing. As it
stands, the rest of Asp-Hole’s parts are just serpentine enough to
work. The forearms, calves, neck, and head do enough to make this guy
look like a Snake Man. The thighs aren’t necessarily snaky, but the
protrusions do enhance the look.
This guy’s head is scaled and shaped
fairly differently from Scale Male’s and as a result works a lot
better. The longer scales covering the back of the head hang down to
conceal the neck joint. This actually works even better than Kobra
Khan’s head. Scale Male’s head is smoother than Asp-Hole’s and
has a unique look.
Asp-Hole has the same trunks as Kobra
Khan. I like the scaled appearance and the angular belt they used.
I’m still surprised by how well this soft plastic piece works every
time they use it.
Coloring: Here’s where
we run into a real problem. Some stupid fuckwit decided it would be a
good idea to mold these out of black plastic and some other stupid
fuckwit OK’d that decision. I’m sure there were even more
fuckwits than that involved, but at least those two had the power to
make that asinine decision not occur. Instead, we have a solid run of
MOTUC figures that look at least a little bit shitty. Not just from
the black plastic that is clearly visible through chips, scratches,
and plain lack of coverage in the paint; but also because the painted
parts do not quite match up to the shade and gloss of the rest of the
color. Also, Asp-Hole’s hands are painted, so every act of putting
a weapon into his hands scrapes a little paint off. So just know that
the whole “Color” section is tainted by this.
Aside from that fairly major error in
judgment these figures look very nice. I am not a fan of the yellow,
but that is personal taste and not any sort of actual production
problem.
Asp-Hole is a slightly lighter yellow.
There are some highlights and variations in the paint on his body to
keep him from looking like a big wad of Play-Doh. His underbelly and
neck are a paler color that is subtly blended into the rest. The
claws on his hands and feet are detailed and the armor on his calves
looks awesome. The brown is a nice accent for the yellow skin and the
dark paint in the scaled detailing looks great.
His trunks and belt look solid. I’m
impressed that nobody else has had the problems that Snout Spout
had – the paint rubbing off of the soft plastic of the trunks. I
still don’t understand why that happened on that one figure unless
maybe somebody decided, “Well, he’s a stupid piece of shit
anyway; let’s fuck up his paint.”
Asp-Hole’s eyes are a vicious red and
his fangs are tightly detailed. His head features the same sort of
coloring as his body and looks good, if a bit dull compared to Kobra
Khan and Rattlor.
Scale Male is darker – almost orange.
He also has some variations in color around the scales. His neck and
underbelly are paler in the same way as Asp-Hole’s, but it isn’t
as apparent due to his huge chest plate.
The loin cloth is painted pretty much
like every other MOTUC loin cloth. It looks fine. I do like that the
central stud on the belt is colored. It adds a nice little something.
His head is colored more subtly than
Asp-Hole’s, but I love the green eyes. Those and the fangs are
tightly done.
Flair: Asp-Hole has the
better armor piece in my opinion. It’s an over-the-shoulder harness
with a big ol’ armor plate on the chest topped by one on the left
shoulder. Very gladiatorial. I dig it. The detailing is nice, with
texture on the harness and bolts or studs or whatever on the armor
pieces. I also like the large armor piece on the back. The Official
Snake Men Seal or whatever is nicely painted and stands out well on
the armor.
Scale Male has this chunky chest plate
that looks awesome but prevents the figure from lowering its arms all
the way. This is another one that looks like the kid from A
Christmas Story. I honestly kind of wish the armor pieces like
this were sculpted onto the torso. But it does look really cool.
There are a couple of ridges that work the snake motif and I like how
there appear to be overlapping plates bolted together. It’s a cool
design for armor and the blue makes this guy stand out.
Accessories: (Sorry - I forgot to take a proper Accessories picture) This set
includes a sword, a shield, a spear, and a mace; as well as an extra
head for each Snake Man.
The heads are the same as the regular
ones, but with open mouths. The sculpt and color are exactly the same
and look nice. I really like the interiors of their mouths. Matty did
a great job with the colors.
The weapons also look very cool. At
first I was impressed that they had painted details, but then I was
sad that I was impressed. I still haven’t recovered from Stinkor’s shitty fucking weapons. But these aren’t like that. The handles
are painted, as are the gems and the trim on the shield. I totally
dig the curved blades on the sword and spear and the shield looks
slick, if a bit fancier than I would have imagined. I’m not crazy
about the mace. It kind of looks like somebody threw a bunch of nails
into a cotton candy machine. I suppose that swirly pattern on the
head is a for-real design n from some ancient peoples or something,
but I think it looks kind of goofy.
The shield fits securely onto either
Snake Man’s arm and the weapons fit in their hands pretty well. I
mean, aside from the fact that you’re going to scrape all of the
paint off of (Asp-Hole’s) hand.
Packaging: I am still
quite taken with the packaging for this line. I’ve been buying
Masters of the Universe Classics for three years now (literally –
November of 2009’s Scareglow was my first purchase) and it still
excites me to see that green stone show up.
It looks good and
distinctive and is a big part – and I mean big – of what keeps
this occasionally sub-par line feeling like a Collector’s Line.
Value: Forty dollars is
too much for these guys. The forty-four dollar day-of price is
definitely too much. I know that Matty claims all kinds of things
about production numbers and niche collecting and blah, blah, blah,
but you will never convince me that it makes sense for a NECA figure
to cost less than a Masters of the Universe Classics figure.
Overall: I ended up
pretty happy with these guys. Happy enough that I hope they do
another set in different colors. Preferably a mic like I suggested
above. I know I just got done bitching about the pricing, but the
bottom line is that if you want these figures you are going to pay a
premium. And I guess I will. But the black plastic has got to go.
Unless, of course, the character is actually black.
3
out of 5
These took a major hit for the black
plastic usage and for honestly being kind of dull. They’re not bad,
but they’re not super exciting, either. I know I said the yellow
was personal choice and not a production flaw, but it didn’t help
these guys out any.
If you want them, you can get a set
from BigBadToyStore.com. You might want to wait, though, as I would
be willing to bet Matty produced extras in anticipation of people
wanting army builders. I bet we’ll see these again before the
holidays.
-Phantom
No comments:
Post a Comment