Welcome, guys and
ghouls, to my annual coverage of the very best month of the year –
Halloweentober! Or something. You can probably get the idea from the
title – I will be spending the entire month of October covering
spooky stuff, talking to spooky people, and celebrating spooky
things.
I don’t know
how I have never done this before, but while I was sitting down to
write my review of NECA’s new Lost Tribe Predator I got all
sidetracked during the intro. This happens sometimes. I sit down to
write a few paragraphs about the toy or the character or the company
or whatever and I realize I have enough to say to fill up a whole
post. For this one, I realized that not only would it be a whole
post, but it would be a great way to kick off “31 Days of
Halloween”.
This isn’t any
kind of all-inclusive history of horror toys. This pretty much starts
with the McFarlane revolution of the mid-90’s and continues up to
today. I could produce another whole post just about the 80’s if I
wanted to (and might someday). This is just the stuff that was in my
head today; sparked by thinking about NECA and how they have changed
over the years.
As we all know and have heard
reiterated time and again (and will hear until the end of time),
McFarlane Toys quite literally revolutionized the action figure
industry. I’m not sure a single company has ever had quite the same
impact on the Boys’ Toy Aisle and certainly not a small,
independent company. McFarlane Toys entered the market and released
action figures the likes of which had never been seen before. The
detail of the sculpts and quality of the paint applications was
amazing.
And then McFarlane pursued horror movie
licenses and created a whole new market of toys.
Now, making toys based on horror movies
wasn’t actually anything new. Kenner made a xenomorph back in 1979
before they were called xenomorphs. Matchbox released some truly
gruesome Freddy Krueger toys in the eighties. I have the Mego-style
one that transformed from a regular dude into the scourge of Elm
Street.
But McFarlane brought new, more
realistic and horrifying toys to the aisles. Lifelike sculpts of
Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Leatherface; not to mention movie
monsters like Pumpkinhead and the creatures from John carpenter’s
The Thing – still some of McFarlane Toys’ most horrifying
creations. All of these were released as part of the Movie Maniacs
line, which made me a completist for one of the few times in my life.
For the first few series, anyway.
I believe ToyFare magazine – oh, how
I miss it – was where I saw the first line of Movie Maniacs. The
aforementioned Freddy, Jason, and Leatherface were fairly heavy
hitters to be rolling out all at once. McFarlane was definitely
making a statement with that first series. They wanted to make sure
everybody understood that they were the source for horror
toys. And we all did.
The Movie Masters line eventually
covered a larger number of licensed characters from separate
companies than any toy line previously had or has since (I actually
do not know if this is true, but it sounds right). Friday the
13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street, Texas
Chainsaw Massacre, Scream, The Thing, Pumpkinhead, David
Cronenberg’s The Fly, Psycho, Army of Darkness, Halloween,
Species, The Crow, Bride of Chucky, Jaws, Escape From LA, Edward
Scissorhands, Candyman, RoboCop, Aliens, Predator, Darkness Falls,
Legend, The Blair Witch Project, Terminator, Wishmaster, and King
Kong.
You might notice a couple of odd
entries there. Not necessarily “classics”. That’s because
McFarlane also jumped on some current releases to nab licenses they
perceived might have value. The quality of these movies might be
debatable, but I bet you’d be hard-pressed to find a horror fan
that didn’t get suckered into buying a figure of the Tooth Fairy
from Darkness Falls. Eventually this practice led to entire
lines of figures devoted to new film franchises, as well as lines of
original horror figures.
The most notable of these is probably Clive
Barker’s Tortured Souls. But we’ll get to that.
So the popularity of Movie Maniacs
spawned (HA! See what I did there?) a plethora of new lines. The
success of these six-inch scale toys led to a redesign of the
previously released “Todd McFarlane’s Monsters” playsets.
Originally released in 1997 prior to the first wave of Movie Maniacs,
these sets were Todd McFarlane-designed versions of the classic
Universal Monsters characters – Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster,
and the Wolf Man. A second series would bring the hunchback of Notre
Dame, the Gill Man, and the Phantom of the Opera. They were a smaller
scale of figure in order to facilitate the inclusion of multiple
props, figures, and a set piece and seemed to be released to cash in
on the success of the licensed Universal Monsters figures from
Sideshow Toys (at a time when they were still producing mass-market
collectibles). Nothing wrong with that. After all, the Sideshow
Universal Monsters likely wouldn’t have happened if McFarlane’s
Spawn figures hadn’t changed the market first.
We’ll get back to McFarlane. Right
now I want to talk about that line from Sideshow. Because this post
is a total, formless mess and why change now?
Sideshow produced beautifully sculpted,
decently articulated action figures of almost every significant
Universal Monster – Frankenstein’s Monster, the Gill Man, the
Wolf Man, the Bride, the Mummy, and many more. Initially their
Universal Monsters offerings started with these seven inch action
figures, but expanded into one sixth scale figures, super-deformed
minifigures, and other types of merchandising.
Those seven inch figures are some of
the nicest I own. They were pricey at the time – around ten bucks
each(!) – but were definitely among the higher-end items you could
find at regular retail. Each figure had around twelve points of
articulation and came with a sculpted base and accessories. They were
amazing representations of the characters and were available in both
color and black and white versions. I bought the color ones because I
like my toys to be colored. I feel like I should have a lengthier,
more aesthetically sound explanation, but that’s it. For an odd
counterpoint, I bought the black and white Sin City figures
(and wish I had gone with color).
I have most of the seven inch figures,
a few of the one sixth scales, and the first two series of
minifigures – standard ones and a line of skateboarders. I did not
buy the third series of wrestlers for reasons I honestly don’t
understand and can’t recall. I mean, really? Out of all the
toys I could have skipped, I skip wrestling monsters? What the
fuck? If you’re wondering why in the world anybody would have made
small, unarticulated figures of the Universal Monsters in wrestling
gear just remember that this was the late 90’s and everybody –
even people who do not admit it now – was watching pro wrestling
thanks to the unprecedented boom in business caused by the Monday
Night War between WCW and WWF. Honestly I’m more confused by the
skaters.
Eventually – as happens with any
licensed toy line without ongoing media support – Sideshow ran out
of compelling, big name monsters and had to put out lame-o
fifth-string characters from movies like The Mole People and
Look Out! The Creature’s In A Dress This Time! The final
series sat at retail, warming pegs until they just disintegrated
because Toys R Us doesn’t put stuff on clearance. Okay, well –
they do now. But they sure didn’t then. I would’ve bought that
Gill Man in his sassy summer frock.
So that was Sideshow’s retail run.
Meanwhile, McFarlane cranked out a
whole crazy mess of toys. The upsized Monsters line encompassed
serial killers, Alice In Wonderland, Christmas, and many other
twisted interpretations of classic themes and stories. There was a
sports line that was, quite frankly, legendary; but I don’t give a
shit about that. What I do give a shit about is what is probably the
most deranged toy line ever to be produced: Clive Barker’s Tortured
Souls.
I have been a fan of horror all my life
and these things made me uncomfortable.
Based upon a series of brief character
sketches and connected backstories, these gruesome figures depicted
humans that had undergone or were undergoing the most revolting forms
of torture you’ve ever seen. They were pretty clearly just
Cenobites under a different name. The accompanying biographies –
which you can still find on McFarlaneToys.com – reflected elements
from both “The Hellbound Heart” and Weaveworld. The
figures were articulated in the McFarlane style of having several
fairly pointless joints.
Which makes this a good place to pause
and discuss something.
That sort of articulation really bugs
the shit out of me. The kind where there is a joint, but sue to the
sculpt of the figure or the positioning of the parts or the
interaction of accessories there is no discernible reason why you
would ever utilize it. Those are almost exclusively the kind of
joints McFarlane uses and it’s a very crafty trick. For a very long
time I had a resistance to buying unarticulated figures. Still do, as
a matter of fact. But you look at those McFarlane figures and you see
the cuts where the joints are and you think, “Oh – that is
articulated. I will buy it now.” Then you get it home and open it
and are like, “What the fuck,” because the way the skin or shirt
is sculpted make the arm look terrible in any position other
than raised. Or the legs are posed spread wide so if you use the hip
joints Jason looks like he’s trying to walk on a bunch of bowling
pins. The articulation is there, but it’s useless. McFarlane and
other companies have used this little trick and only now is NECA
working on rectifying it. Slowly but surely they are incorporating
more and more functional and visually pleasing joints into their
products. But we’ll get to that. Now we’ve got to get back to the
last thing I said we’d get to.
So the Tortured Souls figures had
amazing sculpts but very little in the way of meaningful
articulation. If we’re all being hones there this was fine because,
let’s face it, this guy wasn’t exactly going to be flying an
X-Wing or driving the A-Team van:
While McFarlane Toys were busy cranking
out violent, sado-masochistic beauties like this:
Other companies were creeping up on
their turf.
Mezco had entered the market a few
years earlier with their Silent Screamers. These were based off of
early silent films, pretty much the only properties left what with
Sideshow’s procuring of the Universal license and McFarlane making
everything else. I’m actually wondering now if those films might
have even been public domain.
Anyway, the first series of Silent
Screamers featured characters from The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
and Nosferatu. These were stylized, fantastic figures and
likely still the best things Mezco has produced. Like the seven inch
Sideshow figures, these were available in two color styles. Like the
figures themselves, these selections were a bit more stylized than
the Sideshow offerings – you could purchase them in muted but
colorful versions, or in sepia-toned variations. I bought them more
out of a fondness for the figures than any real affection for the
films. I hadn’t even seen Caligari at that point. I’m not
gonna lie – I have a tough time with silent films. I’ve watched
Nosferatu a few times and Caligari just a couple and
it’s the sort of thing I might do once a decade. Maybe less now
that I can’t utilize certain chemical enhancers anymore.
Speaking of chemical enhancers, I think
you would probably have to be on them to appreciate most of the
products Mezco has produced since then. They are very good at
creating stylized or super-deformed toys, but I cannot stand their
attempts at realistic sculpting. The years that they held the
licenses for the big franchises were dark ones for me.
Also creeping up on McFarlane’s
bidness was SOTA Toys, or State Of the Art Toys. The first releases I
remember from them were their Cult Classics figures. These came in
huge packaging and featured a six inch scale figure with some
accessories and a large diorama base (I believe these were
extra-expensive; maybe fifteen bucks apiece). They were only very
slightly articulated, but the one that I knew I would absolutely die
if I did not own IMMEDIATELY was Darkman.
Side Note: I have
just realized I am passionate enough about Darkman
to produce a whole post about it. You'd think that would have been immediately apparent, what with the guy's mug tattooed on the back of my leg:
So stay tuned.
He’s a great figure and the only one
I bought from SOTA’s Cult Classics line, though I still wouldn’t
mind having a Dog Soldiers werewolf. I also purchased a couple
of their Tomb Raider movie figures and those are fantastic –
some of the best figures I have owned.
And finally we come back around to
NECA. I think the first product from them that caught my eye was
their Hellraiser line.
The Hellraiser movies hold a
special place in my heart, which is probably sort of a creepy thing
to say. But the first one is one of the scariest movies I have ever
seen. It still creeps me out to this day and I don’t have a problem
telling you I won’t watch it alone in a darkened room. Hellraiser
III: Hell on Earth is pretty stupid, but it was the first R-Rated
movie I saw when I came of age and also had what at the time seemed
like a killer soundtrack:
- Motörhead – "Hellraiser"
- Ten Inch Men – "Go with Me"
- Material Issue – "What Girls Want"
- Electric Love Hogs – "I Feel Like Steve"
- Triumph – "Troublemaker"
- KMFDM – "Ooh La La"
- Tin Machine – "Baby Universal"
- Armored Saint – "Hanging Judge"
- Soup Dragons – "Divine Thing"
- House of Lords – "Down, Down, Down"
- Motörhead – "Hell on Earth"
- Chainsaw Kittens – "Waltzing with a Jaguar"
See?
So when I saw figures of the Cenobites
– some of the most amazingly-designed horror icons ever – in
Media Play I flipped out because that store was so rad and I knew
that one day it would no longer exist. Just kidding – I flipped out
because I had been wanting figures of Cenobites for as long as I
could remember. There were these vinyl models of Pinhead and I think
Butterball in the early 90’s. They came in a few pieces that you
had to assemble, paint, and sometimes even trim down or cut out.
While I love putting things together, I am kind of a perfectionist
and need whatever I am doing to look absolutely correct. If I know my
skills aren’t up to it I usually don’t bother. Also, those things
were around $75 dollars in 1991 (or thereabouts), which is something
like $800 in today money.
So I bought the first two series of
Hellraiser figures and then stalled out on Series 3. I bought a
couple of those, but the build-a-thing wasn’t cool enough to
justify me buying some of the lame-o Cenobites from the later movies.
The build-a-things from the first two series were the puzzle box and
the hideous torture statue from the third movie, both of which are
must-haves.
NECA went on to pick up other licenses
here and there to the point where today they control the action
figure (and in some cases master) licenses for many of the best
horror/genre properties – A Nightmare On Elm Street, Friday the
13th, Alien, Predator, RoboCop, Gremlins,
Evil Dead, and more. Not to mention all of their video
game licenses, such as Resident Evil and… all of those other
ones. I don’t play many video games.
The market today is close to being as
great as it was back in the late 90’s. We have the aforementioned
products from NECA, The Walking Dead TV and comic figures from
McFarlane Toys, and new figures of Universal Monsters (that are
mind-bogglingly similar to the Sideshow releases), The Munsters,
and Mad Monster Party from Diamond Select Toys.
There’s also
the return of fun, gimmicky stuff like Creepy Crawlers and Doctor Dreadful.
There are even horror toys aimed at the ladies in the form of
Living Dead Dolls and Monster High. I won’t mention the Bratz
Monster High rip-offs because I am a toy snob and those are clearly
shallow, inferior attempts.
(pause while I go re-read this thing to
make sure I got around to my original point)
I’m sure I left out or overlooked not
only hundreds of items but entire lines of the best toys ever, so
please feel free to tell me what a dum-dum I am in the comments.
Over the month of October I’ll be
taking a look at some of these toys, as well as movies and other
stuff that are at least tangentially Halloween-related. I’m having
to stick the last batch of Matty releases in here because they came
so fucking late. But I think I can get away with it because the Snake
Men are pretty creepy and Dragon Blaster Skeletor and Black Mask both
have skulls for heads.
But wait! That’s not all!
Phantom
Troublemaker vs. 31 Days of Halloween
That’s right, brother! I’m back
again to pass judgment on SyFy’s “31 Days of Halloween” TV
schedule! Nowhere else on the internet will you find such a
ridiculous pursuit!
Evil suggested this last year, and
while I have no idea how well it went over because Blogger makes it
too fucking hard for you people to comment; I enjoyed doing it. If
you think about it, let me know how you like it over on Facebook. I’m
always open to suggestions.
Starting with 11 AM today I will give
you my thoughts and recommendations on every single day of
programming SyFy has planned throughout the month of October,
regardless of how informed I am on the content.
Anyway, you know how I roll, so let’s
get to it!
11:00 PM – 8:00 PM – Warehouse 13
- Despite Warehouse 13 not being overly Halloweeny, I’m
pretty happy they’re running this marathon. I like the show a lot
and have almost completely missed this last season. While the
storylines do carry over from episode to episode and season to
season, I would recommend you check this out if you haven’t. You
really can jump in anywhere without knowing what’s going on.
Halloween score – 2
Quality score – 4
8:00 PM – 9:00 PM – Alphas
– I don’t like this show at all, but apparently they’re doing
something right because it’s in its second season. But I don’t
consider this one good or Halloweeny.
Halloween score – 0
Quality score – 2
9:00 PM – 10:00 PM – Warehouse 13
– SyFy did this all month last year and it drove me nuts.
Flip-flopping shows so I have to make two separate entries for the
same show. But whatever. I like Warehouse 13 even though I
have a lot of trouble not typing “Wherehouse 13” because I worked
at Wherehouse Music for a couple of years and for some reason that
spelling stuck with me. As a matter of fact, I’d bet you money if
you went and looked at last year’s coverage I did that at least
once and didn’t catch it.
Halloween score – 2
Quality score – 4
10:00 PM – 11:00 PM – Alphas
– Blech. Skip it. On the one hand I hate that SyFy is killing my
enthusiasm on Day One. On the other, at least they’re getting it
out of the way. Or did a new season of this just start? Ugh. I think
so.
Halloween score – 0
Quality score – 2
11:00 PM – 12:00 AM – Warehouse 13
– A repeat of the 9 PM episode.
Halloween score – 2
Quality score – 4
TUESDAY
12:00 AM – 1:00 AM – Alphas
– A repeat of the 10 PM episode.
Halloween score – 0
Quality score – 2
1:00 AM – 3:00 AM – Fertile Ground
- Despite Warehouse 13 not being overly Halloweeny, I’m
pretty happy they’re running this marathon. I like the show a lot
and have almost completely missed this last season. While the
storylines do carry over from episode to episode and season to
season, I would recommend you check this out if you haven’t. You
really can jump in anywhere without knowing what’s going on.
Halloween score – 2
Quality score – 4
3:00 AM – 4:00 AM – Ghost Whisperer
– I feel like I should describe this show as a guilty pleasure, but
I don’t feel at all guilty for watching it. It’s good. Plus,
Jennifer Love Hewitt is HAWT. And ghosts are definitely Halloweeny.
Good call, SyFy.
Halloween score – 4
Quality score – 3
4:00 AM – 8:00 AM – Paid Programming
– I denigrated the Paid Programming last year. I get up at 3:30 in
the morning when I’m working days, so I always end up watching a
few minutes of infomercials for Pos-T-Vac (featuring more gross old
men than you’d ever believe) or the Total Gym (featuring Morgan
Fairchild, who still looks super-hot, especially when she does that
one exercise where her legs… never mind) before I leave and I hate
them.
However.
I realized that these infomercials are probably what pay for fine
quality programming such as Sharktopus, Camel Spiders,
and MegaPlatypus Versus SuperEchidna. Therefore we should all
appreciate them. I’m not saying you need to pick up the phone and
order a penis pump, I’m just saying don’t hate on the revenue
stream. And besides, if Morgan Fairchild doing those leg exercises
isn’t enough to get you going, I can’t imagine sticking your
pecker in a giant test tube is the answer.
Halloween score – 1 (one point for
the creepy Pos-T-Vac guys)
Quality score – 5
8:00 AM – 11:00 AM – Monster Man
– Holy crap this dude is the creepiest guy on television. Except
for the Pos-T-Vac guys. But this show is pretty great and it’s
genuinely interesting to see how the effects are done for big-budget
Hollywood endeavors such as Two-Headed Shark. Seriously,
though – I like this show and the creepy little dude it centers on
is fascinating.
Halloween score – 4
Quality score – 3
Come back tomorrow for… something.
I’m not sure yet. But I guarantee there will be more SyFy coverage
because I’m getting ready to write it now!
-Phantom
No comments:
Post a Comment