The
first time I saw these guys they were opening for the Tone Deaf
Pig-Dogs (because that’s the only time I ever see new local bands).
They were very talented, but their set was a mess. They were very
good at playing the many different styles of the punk rock music that
the kids like, but seeing all of those styles coming from the same
band was disorienting.
For
some reason they really liked that and sent me Friend Requests on
Facebook. We’ve chatted a few times and hung out at a couple of
cons since then. Weird.
What’s
up with that? The production is pretty good and the guys are
hilarious. Like, I would follow this show on YouTube. And it’s
perfect for Halloween, which is why I asked the guys if they wanted
to do a Q&A for 31 Days of Halloween. They agreed, and what
follows is… well… it’s all them.
Here
are Hoax
T. Massacre and Kasper
Chaos of Fifty-Two
Ways:
- Where were you born and what is one way that place has effected you as a person?
A:
Gravedale. well it's guess it's made appreciate the unattractive side
of things. life's not always vibrant and cheerful.
- What was your favorite toy when you were a kid?
Hoax:
For me it was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles without a doubt. Kasper's
a bit older than myself so I'd prob'ly say a slinky or blocks er
somethin' like that. Right? they even have toys when you were a kid?
what'd you play with? dirt?
Kasper:
Shut up. I played with my radio-flyer.
- What is one album everybody should own?
H:
Our album of course.
K:
yeah. "No Brainer part
2" is a must have.
H:
But seriously, Everyone needs Apparitional by Blitzkid and anything
by Buddy Holly.
- Is your current occupation a career?
H:
It's a curse, not an occupation or a career. we have no choice but to
rock the Earth forever. and I'm stuck with him.
K:
You did it to your damn self, man. I didn't play around with the
Ouija board. You did.
- If so, how and when did you realize that? If not, what are you working towards?
H:
Well, long story short, I met this chick right? and i totally didn't
know she was into dark magic and witchcraft. Well she got real
jealous one night fer no reason at all. She told me to "drop
dead". Then I did, So, then I Realized that it was in the
sense of, like, bein' "undead". I read a few books on
curses and shit like that, but I guess I'm not the best reader in the
world, 'cause instead of breaking my curse, I totally summoned a
ghost instead.
K:
that's me.
H:
(rolls eyes) anyways, i was lucky 'cause he plays guitar. So now
we're a band. and we wander from place to place, spreading our
Ear-Bleeding Melodic Terror.
- Who is your favorite wrestler and why?
H:
The "Wolf Man" Larry Talbot. totally makes me wanna be a
werewolf. Awesome Shades and the Lycan Elbow off the top rope.
AAAAHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH! totally the Wolf Man
K:
Whatever man."The
Heartdrain Kid" Count Dracula. He's the man. He's got the Coffin
Kick. best finish, move ever.
H:
NOW WAY! Wolf Man, would kick the shit outta Dracula.
K:
In your dreams.
H:
pssshh. whatever. stupid
old man.
- What are the best shoes you’ve ever owned?
H:
Uh.... the ones I'm wearing. They seem to have lasted the longest.
They stink though. I'm not even sure Kasper's shoes are even real.
K:
They're not. just looks like shoes. it's all ecto. but i turn'em into
PF Flyers for special occasions.
- How did you become involved with Fifty-Two Ways?
H:
Wul, there's a local station in Gravedale, where we're from. Station
52. They liked what we were doing and thought we could bring some
life to the stiffs in our town. (turns to Kasper) Get it?... life?...
Stiffs?
K:
we get it man.
- Which actor do you feel like you could sit and watch for hours no matter what they were doing and why?
H:
hmmmm. John C. Reilly. Hilarious dude. He actually played one of My
heroes Dewey Cox. or the man Himself Vincent Price.
K:
yeah, I'll have to agree
John C. Reilly
- What inspires you to do what you do?
H:
Life... er.... Afterlife actually. There's so many things lurking in
the shadows that people don't understand, things people don't really
wanna know about. That's where we come in. We cram the darkness down
their through with a lil' melody and a whole lotta fun. makes it
easier to stomach for' em.
K:
yeah
- What is something you cannot wait to see or have more of?
Both:
BEER! duh.
- Is there a movie that should never be remade and if so which one?
H:
"Rick". if they ever remake "Rick" as soon as i
break the spell, I'll kill myself. it's a masterpiece.
K:
I liked "Rick Lives" a lot
- Closer – can you sell me cold on your current project?
Having
trouble with the living world. The Mainstream creeping you out? Then
come underground with Fifty Two Ways. For Hoax and Kasper, Everyday
is Halloween. These life-starved-music-makers are definitely the
After-life of the party. Combing Poppy-punk riffs with Horrifying
imagery to create their special breed of Ear-Bleeding-Melodic-Terror.
Accompanied by their loyal roadie know only as "Goggle",
this Oddball team wonders the Earth. Rocking it forever. Whether they
like it or not, because it is their curse. Taking them from running
into the likes of Vampires and Witch doctors, all the way to
WRESTLEVANIA! This marks the first in a series of web-i-sodes.
Chronicling the ups and 6-foot-downs they encounter along the way.
The WRESTLEVANIA 5 promo is only the beginning. They also have
a bunch new songs to debut in music videos all produced by and
starring Fifty Two Ways. Stay Gold. Stay Dead. Walk Hard.
Phantom
Troublemaker vs. 31 Days of Halloween
If
you’re new here or haven’t been keeping up, this is where I give
my thoughts on SyFy’s “31 days of Halloween” programming.
Obviously I haven’t seen everything I’ll be talking about, but
that’s kind of what the internet is all about – talking out of
your ass.
Each
day I will cover the schedule from the time my post goes live
(usually 11 AM) through the following 24 hours. On Fridays I will
cover the whole weekend, which is a huge pain in the ass but also
kind of fun.
Enjoy!
11:00
PM – 4:00 PM – Ghost Hunters
– Oh, how I loathe having to come up with something new to say
about this ridiculous show every time SyFy carts it out. And we’re
not even halfway through the month! I’m going to have to come up
with some kind of gimmick here.
Halloween
score – 5
Quality
score – 0
4:00
PM – 8:00 PM – Paranormal Witness
– Rather than being a show about a bunch of people chasing around
silly ghost stories after the fact, this show actually reenacts
silly ghost stories. So it’s pretty good and creepy. Much better
formula.
Halloween
score – 5
Quality
score – 3
8:00
PM – 1:00 AM – Ghost Hunters/Paranormal Witness
– This is the new episode flip-slop that SyFy does every night.
Paranormal Witness
is offering up one called “The Cabin/Ghost In the Garden”, which
sounds interesting and spooky. Ghost
Hunters, on the other hand,
has “Paranormal Politics”, which sounds dumb. But I’m going to
have to check it out to see what the heck they’re doing.
Halloween
score – 2
Quality
score – 4
THURSDAY
1:00
AM – 3:00 AM – The Dunwich Horror
– Oddly enough, Lovecraftian movies tend to be entertaining
regardless of the budget or the amount of actual talent involved. I
wonder why that is? SyFy doesn’t specify, but I’m betting this
isn’t the 1970 one starring Dean Stockwell. It’s probably the
2009 version starring… Dean Stockwell? Wait, what? I knew it! Dean
Stockwell is one of the Old Ones!
Halloween
score – 5
Quality
score – 3
3:00
AM – 5:00 AM – Clive Barker’s Book of Blood
– I’m gonna have to set the DVR for this one. I didn’t even
know it existed. But I don’t think anybody could or should watch HP
Lovecraft followed immediately by Clive Barker. That’s gonna fuck
you up. In the head.
Halloween
score – 4
Quality
score – 3
5:00
AM – 8:00 AM – Paid Programming
– Tune in. Order a combination home workout gymnasium/potato
peeler/penis enlarging vacuum tube and help Hippopotamonster:
Terror of the Plains got
into production.
Halloween
score – 1
Quality
score – 5
8:00
AM – 8:30 AM – Twilight Zone
– “The Fever”. I’m sure this is somebody’s favorite.
Halloween
score – 3
Quality
score – 4
8:30
AM – 9:30 AM – Paranormal Witness
– A replay of last night’s new episode.
Halloween
score – 5
Quality
score – 3
9:30
AM – 11:30 AM – Pterodactyl
– It’s funny – I hadn’t looked ahead yet, but I was going to
call the fake SyFy movie I referenced under “Paid Programming”
Pteroducktyl: Revenge From
the Stone Age and I didn’t
think it was all that funny. Now I wish I had, but it’s too late.
I’m not sure how Halloweeny dinosaurs are, but they’re always rad
and I’m pretty sure we can trust SyFy to present them in the most
horrifying, pejorative way possible. So there’s that.
Halloween
score – 2
Quality
score – 3
Come
back tomorrow for… something. I’m not sure yet. But I guarantee
there will be more SyFy coverage because I’m getting ready to write
it now!
-Phantom
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