Empire Wrestling 9/21/2012

It is with a genuinely heavy heart that I tell you this will likely be my last recap of wrestling action from the PCW Arena/Academy Theater in Avondale Estates. It is entirely possible that this will be my second-to-last recap of any PCW action.

I told you guys yesterday about PCW and how I feel about the company. It’s tough to know it may change drastically or not even be around soon. But we’ll jump off that bridge when we get to it. For now, I’ve got one last night of hardcore, ass-kicking action and surprises to talk about, so let’s do it!

            It was a small crew of Hooligans Friday night, which was surprising because I thought this final outing (for us) would be a big one. But it was me and the Grand Hoff and new recruit Terry Boy in the third row. Let me tell you something, brother – wearing a mask over a full beard sucks. Shit is itchy. But I have a costume in mind for Halloween that requires as much beard as I can manage by then, so I bore through it. I am such a brave soldier.

Me and Terry Boy got there way early and talked to Harold Jay Taylor out in the parking lot for a while. He makes me jealous with his nice camera.

Johnny Danger

Vs.

“The Attraction” Hayden Young

Danger has been on an absolute tear recently and it shows no signs of stopping. Hayden Young is fast becoming my new favorite douchebag.

This match had some history, as these two hooked it up a couple of months ago. Things ended with Young brutalizing Danger and threatening him with permanent harm until “Do or Die” Chip Day came out to make the save; which actually set up Day and Young’s match at Sacred Ground this Saturday. That last match featured Young playing around with Danger and Danger showboating a bit more than he should have. This time around both men were more serious.

Young was determined to end Danger’s current win streak and laid down an unrelenting assault on the smaller man. Young is always a solid competitor, but I’m not sure I’ve seen him quite as focused as he was last Friday. 

At least, until Chip Day emerged from the locker room to talk some smack. Danger took advantage of the distraction and hit his opponent with a quick succession of moves, ending with his finish which I’m sure has a cool name, but I don’t know what it is. “Greetings From Tokyo”, maybe?

YOUR WINNER – Johnny DANGAAAAAAAAA

After the match a still disoriented Hayden Young made his way to the locker room to a chorus of boos and jeers from the crowd.

Despite the defeat I cannot wait to see The Attraction fight Chip Day Saturday night. Both men are intense, skilled competitors and this is actually my pick for Match of the Night. Don’t get me wrong – I have no doubt we’re in for an amazing night of competition and that Shane Marx and Mason are going to tear the house down, but I really feel like Day and Young are going to sneak in and steal the show with the best overall workrate match. By necessity Marx and Mason are going to have to deal with a certain amount of entertainment value that will add to the big match feel but detract from the technical aspect of their clash.

El Asesino Guy & Najasism

Vs.

De La Vega & Supernatural

The second match of the night also had significant stank on it, if you will. Asesino and Supernatural will be fighting Grotesque and Devlin Valek (I think) in a Destroy All Monsters Casket Match this Saturday while Najasism and Vega will attempt to end their vicious feud in a Hair Versus Hair match.

Asesino showed up a few months ago at the behest of the Empire to rid the promotion of “all the freaks”. So far he hasn’t had much effect. I attribute this to the fact that A) PCW is comprised of about 80% freaks, and B) I really, really think Asesino is Shane Helms under a hood. Not really, but kind of. But this quest of Asesino’s is what led to Saturday’s sure-to-be-a-disastrophe match.

Naja and De La Vega used to be pals. They’re both artsy-fartsy types and they both have a certain amount of flair and showmanship to compliment their not inconsiderable in-ring skills. But now they fucking hate each other, which has led to a bunch of awesome. Naja managed to pre-emptively shorten some of Vega’s locks a few weeks ago after using a fucking stun gun(!) on him.

Vega and Supernatural got things off to a hot start by dumping their opponents outside the ring and beating the shit out of them for a minute. They maintained control until Najasism landed a cheap shot on Supernatural and tagged in just long enough for Vega to get involved, at which point the painted warrior jumped back out of the match like somebody lit his little ass on fire.

Asesino regained the advantage, but solid tag work by De La Vega and the Undead Luchador combined with Najasism’s unwillingness to face his nemesis turned the tide.

Finally, furies could no longer be contained and all four men were in the ring, determined to destroy one another. The ref did his best to keep things under control, but had no choice but to throw the match out. It was CHAOS!

Asesino and Supernatural fought their way to the back, leaving Najasism and De La Vega in the ring, with the latter man unleashing a furious torrent of rage onto his opponent. Vega finally hit his finish on Najasism and left him senseless and face down on the mat. Seeing an opportunity for a measure of revenge, Vega retrieved a pair of scissors from under the ring – presumably stored there alongside cookie sheets, folding chairs, ladders, tables, and maybe a sledgehammer – and made the universal motion for, “I’m gonna cut this fucker’s hair”.

And he did.

And Najasism flipped the fuck out.

YOUR WINNER – Technically nobody, but pretty much De La Vega

I have no doubt that the Destroy All Monsters Casket Match is going to be a big ol’ pile of entertaining, but Najasism versus De La Vega is sure to be intense. Looking at the two of them I find it hard to believe either man is going to lose their signature hair, as both men’s manes are a big part of their character. But this is Platinum Championship Wrestling and PCW does not pull any bullshit bait-and-switch.

Washington Bullets & Chip Motherfucking Day of PCW

Vs.

Mr. Erik & “Dynamite Soul” Eric Walker & “The Revelation” Shane Marx w/ Big Masked Guy, Jonathan Malick, and Rachel Freeman of Empire

To my knowledge none of these men are facing each other at Sacred Ground. This match was just booked because it was a kickass match. The Bullets are consistently PCW’s hottest babyfaces and every day is Chip Day. As far as the heels go, they’re all just despicable.

This match was preceded by a lot of shit-talking, then Mr. Erik – who may or may not be referred to as “Showtime” Erik Jones now – stepped in so that Jon and Trey could whoop his ass for a while. Obviously the much-improved heel got sick of that real quick and tagged in Dynamite Soul, who evened things up a little bit. Chip Day got tagged in for Team PCW, but Walker managed to drag him into the Empire corner and tag in that vicious villain Shane Marx. Day got in a couple of moves, but then Marx dodged a running kick and took control of the action.

From that point on both teams took their turns handing out beatdowns and the action was fairly balanced. But finally, through the powers of teamwork and good sportsmanship Team PCW got the upper hand. The Bullets hit a Marion Barry on Mr. Erik and Chip Day lined up for what might have been a Shining Wizard…

If Hayden Young hadn’t run in from behind and clobbered the fuck out of the Honorary Hooligan.

And then, while Team Empire kept the Bullets occupied outside the ring, The Attraction laid waste to his former tag team partner. I haven’t particularly taken note of it before, but Hayden Young uses a particularly brutal finisher – what I would describe as an implant snapmare. It starts like this:

And ends like this:

And is pretty sick. Young performed this move on a defenseless Day three times and then once more, egged on by the crowd’s deafening boos.

YOUR WINNER – The Washington Bullets & Chip Motherfucking Day by DQ

After the match the Empire stood outside the ring and applauded Hayden Young’s despicable actions. The rest of PCW emptied out of the locker room – far too late to do any good – to see to a near-unconscious Day. For some reason PCW Medical Technician Doctor Mei Lei was nowhere in evidence. Team PCW helped Day limp his way to the back as the crowd chanted, “Do or Die!”

Again, Day and Young’s face off at Sacred Ground should be phenomenal.

I have to apologize to Tommy Daniels here, which is something I never imagined I would do. He has a new name that is extraordinarily Italian and I can’t remember what it was. I think it began with a “P”. Puzzichelli? Pastraminetti? I dunno. Somebody help me out here.

Tommy came out after Chip Day was hauled off to ask the crowd why he didn’t have a singles match at Sacred Ground Chapter Three. I think pretty much everybody in attendance agreed it was because he has all the personality of a damp lasagna noodle, but Tommy was still miffed.

Actually, I tried to do you all a favor by glossing over something, but I’m feeling a little mean after having to be mostly complimentary for the first half of this recap.

You see, Tommy came out and asked something along the lines of, “You want to know what I’m wondering?” and the crowd all said, “NO.”

Tommy got all frustrated and tried again to the same response and it was pretty funny. He stomped around a little and fumed and tried again. Naturally the crowd responded the same way.

But then he did it, like, twelve more times. I think that was too many. Some may not agree. And to Tommy’s credit, the crowd kept playing as long as he kept going, so I really blame them.

Finally, Tommy got to the fucking point and said he was pissed he didn’t have a singles match at Sacred Ground. He said a spot in the Platinum Royal wouldn’t cut it. No, sir. He wanted his own showcase. He challenged anybody in the back to come out and prove he didn’t deserve such a match. Surprisingly, the very best entrance theme of all time started playing.

Magic Mangina…

And Marvelous Marko Polo appeared from the back with Crown Jewel Records’ Quasi Mandisco and Miss Nina Monet in tow.

Here’s the thing about Marko Polo – we all really want to cheer him. Despite his arrogant manner, his large entourage, Nina Monet’s abrasive sassiness, and Quasi’s ridiculous white jeans; there’s just something that makes you want to like Polo.

So when he comes out to shut Tommy Daniels (or Pepperoni or whatever) up, the crowd goes nuts.

Tommy Daniels

Vs.

Marvelous Marko Polo w/ Quasi Mandisco & Nina Monet

The Marvelous One started off strong, but ate a vicious super kick when he tried to hit a double axe handle from either the middle or top rope. From that point on Tommy the Italian dominated.

I want to take this opportunity to mention that this match also has some history. The first time I saw Tommy Daniels compete was at one of the Masquerade shows and it was against Marko Polo. It was back when I was still doing my parody-style recaps and I claimed that Daniels won the match by throwing a midget disguised as his infant son at Polo. Later on when I met Polo he asked me about this and I had to explain my goofy recaps. That was probably the first time I thought about doing marginally more serious recaps.

The reason I bring this up now is that I had to go to the bathroom during this match and ended up missing the end.

YOUR WINNER – I bet Marko Polo won

When I got back the ring was cleared and a stable of Empire goons was on the way out. Jacob Ashworth and Corey Hollis entered the ring while Screamin’ Marty Freeman stayed outside with Big Masked Guy. Marty introduced Hollis and Ashworth as Empire’s newest tag team sensation and the men that would dominate at Sacred Ground Chapter Three.

I can’t remember if Freeman laid out a challenge or if the match was already signed, but he said that Hollis was here to prove himself in singles action. His opponent emerged from the locker room and it was

HOLY SHIT THE SENSATIONAL JAY FURY!!!!!

Wow.

Corey Hollis w/ Jacob Ashworth, Big Masked Guy, and Screamin’ Marty Freeman of Empire

Vs.

The Sensational Jay Fury

Listening to the ring announcer announce Jay Fury is always a treat. The man is full of adjectives.

Fury started things off by just working the fuck out of Hollis’ arm. It was looking like the smaller man might not even get off the ground, but then he hit a couple of moves and got Fury in the corner.

What happened next is that Geter ran out of the back and started beating the shit out of Jacob Ashworth, then Brian Blaze ran out to assault Corey Hollis because We Are 3 is not going to tolerate all these jackasses coming out and claiming something about being the best tag team.

But because of this one picture, it looks like Geter and Blaze dropped from the rafters of the PCW Arena, surprising both Fury and Hollis:

I have no idea what was actually going on, but that picture is fucking hilarious.

Anyway, Hollis and Ashworth and Geter and Blaze all fought their way to the back, leaving Jay Fury in the ring to insist that the referee raise his hand in victory. Okay, I guess?

YOUR WINNER – Jay Fury(?)

And we got a Jay Fury outro as well!

Then Screamin’ Marty Freeman came out with Big Masked Guy and… Murder One!?!

Murder One w/ Screamin’ Marty Freeman & Big Masked Guy of Empire

Vs.

Sylar Cross

Well, this should be interesting.

Murder One took control initially and laid down a pretty good whoopin’. Experience looked to be winning out over youthful enthusiasm. But then Cross hit his boiling point and unleashed the fury, hitting Murder One with a clothesline, what might have been an axe bomber, a BIG leg drop, and a running crossbody for the 1-2-3!

YOUR WINNER – Sylar Cross

This was a fun, by-the-numbers match. Cross is hitting all the right notes with his new babyface run and it was cool getting to see Murder One in PCW.

Speaking of cool, the next match was one of the best surprises I have seen. I would never have imagined we’d get something like this on a Friday ngith in Avondale Estates…

Fred Yehi

Vs.

Casey Kincaid

Okay, now I know there might be some folks out there who don’t get the significance of that pairing. Not everybody knows what kind of athletes Yehi and Kincaid are. I feel bad for you guys, but I feel worse for anybody that saw that match-up and went, “Oh, shit – I can’t believe I missed that!”

Because you did miss it and man, it was great.

Casey Kincaid is a PCW veteran who has battled everybody and as Phantom had some amazing matches; not only with other veterans, but with up-and-comers.

Fred Yehi reminds me very much of Chris Benoit. I know we’re not supposed to use that name, but the circumstances of his death do not change the fact that the Crippler was one of the greatest wrestlers ever to enter the ring. Yehi’s style, presence, and natural aptitude brought Benoit to mind the very first time I saw him compete and still do whenever he steps into the ring.

I wanted to see every second and every move of this match, so I did something I don’t really ever do – I put away my camera and went up to the front row.

It means you guys don’t get a recap, but too bad. I wanted to sit back and enjoy this one as a pure fan and I did.

It was pure intensity from the opening bell with both men struggling for dominance. This was one of those special matches that you just don’t get to see all that often regardless of how technically-oriented a promotion may be or claim to be. You could feel the competitive spirit radiating out of the ring the entire time, with every grapple, hold, and movement holding significance that outweighed even the outcome of the match itself. It was a mat classic.

And then the ten minute time limit ran out, with no winner.

I have no problem with this at all. I am actually a huge fan of time limit draws. It is an excellent way to get two competitors over and let the audience decide who they think the winner was. This finish used to happen all the time and is barely used nowadays for some reason.

YOUR WINNER – My personal feeling was that if the match had been allowed to continue – which the crowd wanted and demonstrated vocally – Casey Kincaid would have emerged victorious. As good as Yehi is, I think Kincaid is hungry. Casey Kincaid seems to feel like his time is now and I agree one hundred percent. With the Phantom gimmick long gone and DamNation disbanded, I think there’s nothing holding Kincaid back from achieving his destiny. Especially once the PCW/Empire conflict is resolved at Sacred Ground. No matter which side wins, there will be no more faction drama to distract from what should be Kincaid’s ultimate goal – whichever Championship remains.

And God willing we’ll see this match again with that very title at stake. Maybe at Sacred Ground Chapter Four.

Man, that would have made a great close for this recap, but we still have more show!

Not only that, the Yehi/Kincaid match has more story because as soon as the bell rang Jay Fury returned to the ring. He said that Kincaid and Yehi were both awesome and would have an amazing match at Sacred Ground Chapter Three (which I did not know was happening). But Fury wants in on that match.

The crowd went nuts. I went nuts. But then when I thought about it, I was a little torn. Yeah, of course I want to see these three go at it. But I am not a huge fan of three-way matches. Don’t; get me wrong – of course this match will be awesome. But I’d rather see any combination of these guys in a one-on-one.

But both Kincaid and Yehi accepted, so we officially have Fred Yehi versus Casey Kincaid versus Jay fury at Sacred Ground Saturday night.

Pandora came out to the ring next to tell us all what we already know – that she is the toughest broad in pro wrestling. She mentioned that she will be competing in a four-way match at Sacred Ground against Nina Monet, Aisha Sunshine (who I don’t believe has competed in a few months), and Christi Whiplash. I’m not familiar with Whiplash, but the crowd went a little nuts and somebody behind me yelled, “Holy shit! When did that happen?” so I guess she’s a big deal.

And then Aisha Sunshine jumped Pandora from behind and started beating the crap out of her. Nina Monet isn’t gonna let those two yaks hog the spotlight, so she ran out from the back and joined Aisha in the beatdown. The two sinister sisters took turns whipping Pandora with belts, then wrapped the straps around her neck and choked her out.

The PCW locker room emptied to put an end to the slaughter and Monet and Sunshine made their escapes.

Pandora stood on her own, but was barely able to make her way back to the locker room. The Crown Jewels, meanwhile, were quite proud of Miss Monet:

And with that ladies and gentlemen,

Your Platinum Championship Wrestling Main Event!

Jacob Ashworth w/ Corey Hollis, Big Masked Guy, & The Freemans

Vs.

Demigod Mason w/ The Witness

For the PCW Championship

I really like watching these two fight. Mason is a very tight, skilled competitor and Ashworth makes a great opponent because he is such a big, skilled man he seems like a genuine threat to the champ. It gives Mason a good opportunity to show what a badass he is and Ashworth gets a run at a title. The only flaw in logic here is that Ashworth’s nickname is “The Nihilist” so he really shouldn’t care about winning any titles. Or matches, for that matter.

Ashworth came out of the gate strong, knocking the champ off his feet and hitting a big fallaway slam. But Mason quickly recovered and hit a move I’m a little surprised I haven’t seen before – a snapmare from the top rope:

From there he had the clear advantage, which probably explains why the Empire showed up to ruin the party.

The Witness was able to protect his charge until PCW reinforcements arrived, and then things got CRAZY-GO-NUTS!

After a reasonable amount of brawling, things calmed down with Big Masked Guy and The Witness toe-to-toe with their factions behind them, including Stephen Platinum and all of the Empire’s weasely managers – Rachel, Marty, and Jonathan.

Rachel Freeman got on the mic and cut a blistering promo about how Stephen Platinum’s time was done and it was disgusting that the Empire had even had to put up with his presence for so long after they gained control. After Saturday night they would finally be rid of the taint of “Platinum”. And why the heck was Sacred Ground a PCW show, anyway?

Platinum took the mic at that point and said a bunch of things involving the word fuck. He then said fine, next week (this Friday) at the FINAL Academy Theater show there would be a match between The Witness and Big Masked Guy.

He explained that The Witness used to be a fan that just wanted to be involved (something I can identify with). He asked if he could be Mason’s bodyguard – nothing more. But that the guy has come to be an important part of PCW if not an outright representation of what PCW is.

So is The Witness wins the match Friday night, Sacred Ground is held under the Platinum Championship Wrestling banner. If Big Masked Guy wins, it becomes an Empire event.

More smack was talked as PCW left the ring, and Empire gloated triumphantly (if perhaps prematurely) from the ring as the crowd booed the ever-loving shit out of them.

Then Corey told me he stole Murder One’s vest:

That was a heck of a night, but Saturday promises to be quite literally the biggest night Platinum Championship Wrestling has ever seen. 
Check out my Facebook album for a ton more pictures. 

-Phantom