Day
3 Night
Yesterday’s
post got lengthy. Today’s is going to be much more brief, not to
mention aided by LIVE MUSIC VIDEOS.
Now,
obviously that mask is the shit. It’s easily my favorite mask now
and nothing will change that. But the suit ran into a couple of
problems.
We
met up with Evil and Lady Evil in their room, then went to collect
Monkey and his woman. I think Darth Pete was somewhere around there,
too. Once the crew was rounded up we headed over to our normal spot
in the Marriot to meet the rest of the gang. Mikall, The Big Guy,
Gnoll, Sarah Conner, The Grand Hoff, and K-Dawg were already there,
but the true stars of the show were Soozi and Little Pond:
An
amazing Chicken Lady – fully in character - and the best Batwoman I
have seen were just hanging out by the railing. I love that those two
were in costumes. Not many of the Hooligans sport actual costumes, so
it kind of takes something to go all-out like that. It made me wish I
was wearing one of my actual Doctor costumes rather than just a suit,
spectacular though it was. This was Problem One with the suit. Those
two looked awesome and I just kind of felt like I didn’t.
There
were a lot more cool things to take in before Calabrese took the
Atrium Ballroom stage at midnight. This Pony, for instance:
Or
Steve Zissou, who I took a picture of just to spite Gnoll.
Gnoll
went off on two completely separate, unprovoked rants Saturday night.
I don’t remember what the first was about, but it led me to hold up
my empty beer can and proclaim I needed to get rid of it so I could
wander off.
Side
Note: Why the flaming FUCK does the Marriot not have garbage cans
everywhere? The only ones there are behind the little side bars and
they’re tucked away like they don’t want you to use them. It’s
absurd. I don’t want
to be an asshole. I don’t want
to just leave my empties sitting on the floor or tucked into a plant
or thrown on top of the elevator. But damn – that place just does
not want you disposing of your garbage in a responsible manner. But
at least it gave me an out from Gnoll’s irrational discourse.
Gnoll’s
second bizarre rant was about Wes Anderson. Me and Little Pond both
got caught up in this one somehow. Gnoll does not like Wes Anderson.
To quote, he thinks the director is, “An overrated piece of shit.”
I personally do not agree, but everybody is entitled to their
opinion. Saturday night Gnoll felt everybody was entitled to his
opinion. Fair enough. I kind of needed to pee anyway. On the way I
saw this guy and relished taking the picture:
But
not as much as I relished the aquatic life I came upon next:
That’s
right, Phantomaniacs – FUCKING
SHARKTOPUS.
I was ecstatic. The only thing that would have been better than
Sharktopus would be…
What
more could I possibly need out of Dragon*Con?
There
was some more good stuff, but the climax… er… the peak of the
night as far as costuming was definitely Moira the Ghost Maid.
But
here’s some other good stuff:
And
then the unthinkable happened. Something I literally never would have
imagined was possible. A thing that constituted Problem Two with the
suit and a thing that could not be blamed on me or the suit itself.
This
fucking guy showed up:
Yes.
This asshole is wearing the
same suit as me.
Not only at the same Con. Not only on the same night, at the same
time. In the same damn hotel on the
same floor.
What are the fucking chances of that? I feel like I handled it very
well, but I was pretty crushed. And not only did this guy show up
wearing my
suit, he was claiming he was in a Joker costume. What
the fuck?
Let’s look at that picture again:
He
also said it like it was clear. In the same way that a guy wearing a
brown robe and holding a lightsaber might tell you he was a Jedi.
Like it was some obvious shit or something.
Argh.
Eventually
he wandered off and it was time for Calabrese. Which presented
Problem Three: a black preacher/pimp suit is not the best attire for
a rock show. I felt out of place. But that one’s mostly my problem.
I should have planned better, yeah – but it really shouldn’t have
mattered. The real problem was the mounting Problems.
Still,
Calabrese rocked it the fuck out:
That was an absolutely kickass opening and things only got better, as this combination of pictures and videos will reveal:
It was great, and I converted a number of Hooligans into Calabrese fans that night.
Calabrese
puts on a show that is different from any other I have seen. The
music is the most important thing. If you’re playing shitty music,
no amount of on-stage personality is going to save you. So Calabrese
starts out right by playing a brand of horror rock that is very
nearly flawless. There isn’t a single song in their library that
you don’t want to sing along to. So the music is covered.
But
then on top of that you have a bit of performance. These guys don’t
just come out and play a bunch of rad horror rock songs. They
could,
but they don’t. They fool around. They have props. They have
shtick. Over the course of the show, Bobby not only dons a kung-fu
bandana and kicks his way across the stage Rob McElhenny-style, he
also puts on a fucking space helmet and launches blazing guitar riffs
directly into the audience.
And Davey? Davey has an Elvis cape, as seen at the top of the page.
And Davey? Davey has an Elvis cape, as seen at the top of the page.
There
are few moments during a Calabrese set where the band’s full range
of abilities and personality isn’t on display, and the thing is
they
already conquered with the music.
Finally getting to see these guys live was about as entertaining as I
could have hoped for. I hope it isn’t another five years before
they’re back.
Oh,
and I know I could’ve gotten better shots in the video if I had
moved back. I didn’t want to move back.
After
the set was done, we headed back to the rooms to re-beer and change.
I put on what is quite frankly one of the most ludicrous things I
have ever worn:
Nice,
right? I was too drunk to care. Plus it was about the most
comfortable I was all weekend. Naturally, this was the attire I chose
to wear to go an meet all of Calabrese and have my picture taken with
them:
A
couple other guys walked up and joined in the conversation. Turns out
they are in another horror rock band called Alucard and you should
go check them out. One of the guys told me that seeing Calabrese at
Dragon*Con five years ago was what made them get together and start
making music. Pretty awesome. I get that. Calabrese are great.
Next
we went to a shitty rave and I took some video of the floor:
What
was with the raves this year? I totally missed out on DJ Spider
Saturday morning – something I am thoroughly irritated about –
because I was still on my karaoke high and also because everybody
kind of called it a night early all weekend. But whatever was going
on Saturday night just wasn’t very good. I appreciated the
nice-looking ladies and all, but the music did nothing for me.
I
do not remember this at all:
But
I’d say it’s a good stopping point for today. Come back tomorrow
for what will probably be a recap of Sunday and Monday, then on
Friday I will review the
2012
Late Night Puppet Slam
Calabrese runs his own blog too.
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