It
is finally time. I have been anticipating and dreading this moment.
Anticipating because the Puppet Slam is second only to wrestling for
the level of Dragon*Con excitement it generates in me. Dreading
because I want to be sure and do it justice.
Evil had texted me to say they were holding a seat, so I wandered into the room looking for Little Pond’s head. One huge benefit of being friends with a ginger – they make great visual landmarks. While I was looking for the Hooligans I came across Sacha from Dr. Geek’s Laboratory. He kindly offered a seat, but just as I was about to accept I spotted that fiery, red mane. Little Pond, the Grand Hoff, Evil and Lady Evil, the Big Guy, and a couple more were all lined up with an empty seat right in the middle. Nice.
I
didn’t catch the GI Joe sketch from last year, but I had heard
about it and the girls responsible were sitting in front of us:
After
some audio testing (audio – the bane of Dragon*Con, apparently) the
show began.
This
year things started off a bit differently. Rather than going straight
into puppets doing naughty things, we got a few video segments from
the artists that would be performing.
There
was a nice little song to open, followed by a segment from Magic:
The Gathering – The Musical,
then Lolly Lardpop’s Milano.
All of that was followed by a tribute to Jerry Nelson that made me
glad my masks are super absorbent.
And
then it was time:
Holy.
Shit.
I
actually got a sneak peek at that while I was putting together my Q&A
with Producer Pattycakes and it almost caused me physical pain to not
tell you guys about it. I am not one of those people that can’t
wait to throw spoilers around, but that intro was so rad. I wanted to
tell everyone I knew. But I didn’t want to ruin it. I knew I’d be
sitting there with them at the panel itself and able to watch their
reactions, so I kept my mouth shut. It was awesome.
Naturally
Bob and Carl: SyFy Janitors kicked off the show. I think it took a
minute for them to get into things. Maybe they were still recovering
from the Jerry Nelson tribute. But once they got going, it was on
like a pot of Donkey Kong. The banter was good, and it was funny.
Nobody lays down silly like the Janitors. I wish I could remember all
the references made that Sunday night, but the one that sticks out
the most is Phantasy Star on the Dreamcast. No – seriously.
After
some nonsense our little, yellow buddies introduced the first
performance:
Superman’s
A Dick
Just
from the title I’m pretty sure you can imagine how this went down.
The picture should really seal the deal. It featured Superman
pointing out to the rest of the Justice League exactly how little he
needed any of them. Imagine that one sketch from The
State,
except everybody’s
Aquaman. I laughed a lot.
Puppeteers
– Mark Meer, Lucky Yates, Reay Kaplan
Writer
– Ian Boothby of Bongo comics
Bob
and Carl: Sci Fi Janitors returned to once again kick out the funny.
I wish I could remember all of their banter, but it’s been almost
two weeks now and I was halfway drunk. Not all the way drunk because
I didn’t want to have to get up and pee like I did last year and
miss the show. That’s
how good Puppet Slam is - I stopped drinking for an hour.
Lady
Poopington’s Tea Party
I
don’t think I was the right audience for this one, but I think kids
might have loved it. The puppeteering (is that really not a word?
Spellcheck says no) was solid and the look of it was neat. I’m not
sure if the Teddy Ruxpin in the background was supposed to be the
creepiest fucking thing ever, but it was:
By
April Tennyson with Jackie Elaine Bell
Bob
and Carl: SciFi Janitors came back out for some more mirth. I think
this was the segment where one of them mentioned Phantasy Star.
Actually I really have no idea. But it is the segment where Bob got
super tall and gave up on holding his broom.
I’ll
Hold Your Hand In Mine
This
was my favorite puppet of the night that wasn’t a Time Lord. It
sang a song… well, once again – the picture pretty much sells it.
I am finding that I suck at recapping Puppet Slams.
The
song was sweet and horrible. It was kind of like They Might Be Giants
in that you’d think it was really sweet and gentle if you weren’t
listening to the words. And if a hideous, undead puppet weren’t
singing it at you. This one was definitely a success.
By
Lucky Yates
Robert
and Karl: Space Custodians popped back up afterwards to do their
thing some more. Their thing – if you don’t know – is to make
you laugh until you’re a little worried about moistening your
trousers. Here, I’ll tell you what – since I can’t remember
their material, I’ll give you a bit:
Now
I feel slightly better.
A
Lord of Time
This
one was nothing short of astonishing. It started off with Doctor
Eleven singing to the tune of Billy Joel’s… uh… dammit. It was
a Billy Joel song. I haven’t paid any attention to Billy Joel in
forever, so his repertoire is not at the forefront of my brain. I
think it was “Uptown Girl”.
Side
Note: It's "The Longest Time"
So
Doctor Eleven sang for a bit, then over the course of the song was
joined on stage by every
single Doctor.
Eleven puppet Doctors. Think about that. Oh, wait – you don’t
have to because HERE:
It
was fantastic.
And
on top of that, when I contacted Carl and Producer Pattycakes the
other day to get the full list of credits for the Puppet Slam I found
out that the entire Puppet Slam audience got Peter Rolled! That’s
right – the whole song was performed LIVE by none other than Peter
David from behind the black curtain. And we didn’t even know it! Is
there anything that man cannot do?
By
Kathleen O’Shea David
With
Rachel Wyman, John Hudgens, Jamie Kamin, Cheralyn Lambeth, and Hannah
Miller
Vocals
by Peter David (!)
I
am assuming boB and Lrac: Hooperball Fans returned in between that
last segment and the next, but I guess I felt I only needed so many
pictures of a couple of yellow janitor puppets. Here’s another bit:
You’re
welcome.
“Anyone
Can Slap Cards on the Table” from Magic:
The Gathering – The Musical
The
skill that went into this performance was undeniable. The puppets
looked fantastic, the choreography was extremely impressive, and the
song was very well done. That being said, I know jack and shit about
Magic. I did not get it. I tried
to get it, but it just didn’t do it for me. But if you happen to be
a fan of Magic: The Gathering I highly recommend you check out Magic:The Gathering – The Musical
as these folks seemed to know what they were doing and did get a
positive response from the portion of the crowd that I’m assuming
were big Magic fans. I wish Varis had been there to tell me if this
was good or not.
By
Molly Coffee
With
Raymond Carr, Amy rush, David Stephens, and Gregg van Laningham
Uninvited
This
one was breathtaking. The coordination of the three ladies working
the puppet combined with the beautiful voice of the lady singing
was amazing. I couldn’t take my eyes off of what was going on.This is called "Tabletop Puppetry".
The
puppet herself was one of the best-crafted characters in the Puppet
Slam, combining a number of different materials with a neat costume
and a spiky, little mace.
(This clip is not from Puppet Slam, but it is the same performance)
By
Alissa Hunnicut
With
Honey Goodenough and Amy Rush
Bob
and Carl did some more things that I do not remember. But it is very
important to note that they introduced the next bit. Because the next
bit was about them – kind of.
Adventuros
Limpiezas
So
these two puppeteers – you can tell because they’re wearing all
black. If somebody is in all black they’re either a beatnik, a
Goth, a puppeteer or Johnny Cash. Well, probably not so much Johnny
Cash.
Anyway,
these two puppeteers popped up from behind a table and unrolled a mat
full of trash. The male downed a can of energy drink or malt liquor
or something and threw it down on the table, kind of like a
challenge. Fine, sir – let’s do this.
Then
they duck behind the table.
Seconds
later a duo emerged that were horrifying, mutated versions of our
beloved heroes Bob and Carl. These monstrosities were horrible
perversions of the forms we know so well. Rather than being vaguely
hand-shaped, this pair’s heads were clearly… head-shaped.
Children cried.
The
two went on to do what Bob and Carl do… sort of. But with vaguely
Mexican accents. And then at some point I realized that Carlos (I
guess – Roberto and Carlos?) did not have the standard mask on.
There was some kind of thing hanging off of it. As a matter of fact,
it looked an awful lot like a facehugger. Sure enough, Roberto
knocked it off and Carlos went into a seizure, falling behind the
table. When he reemerged his chest exploded and this popped out:
The
best part was at the end when its “jaws” popped out and started
cleaning.
By
Valerie Meiss
With
Madison J. Cripps
A
continuación arriba fueron Bob y Carl con algunas payasadas más
delirante. Me encanta ver a estos chicos viven. Es decir, los bits de
vídeo son un montón de diversión, pero asistiendo los dos sólo
una especie de riffs fuera de sí realmente es algo.
Cookie Panel
I
have to say I felt very fortunate to be aware of the whole Milano
video previous to witnessing Cookie Panel. But I sure do wish there
hadn’t been so many audio problems. While Leslie Cararra-Rudolph
came across perfectly fine, I couldn’t make out most of what Lolly
Lardpop was saying. Though I’m fairly certain most of it had to do
with murdering and eating the citizens of Milano cookie town or
whatever.
The
gag here was that Cookie Panel was sort of a typical con panel, but
with cookies. And then Lolly Lardpop ate the cookies. It was pretty
great.
I
spoke to Ms. (Mrs.? Missus? Lady?) Cararra-Rudolph the following day
and she was very concerned about whether or not the audience had been
able to hear the cookies because they were very talented puppeteers
(and they were – you try making a talking cookie look convincing).
They came across just fine. Also, I highly recommend you go and check
out (website) because Leslie Cararra-Rudolph is a very sweet and
fascinating lady. I’m hoping she and several other Puppetry Track
guests will be able (and willing ) to come back next year.
By
Leslie Cararra-Rudolph and Lolly Lardpop
With
David Stephens, Reay Kaplan, Amy Rush, and Ryan Dillon
Bob
and Carl can kill anyone they want! Bob and Carl cut off heads
ALL
the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so
crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL
the time. I heard that Bob and Carl were eating at a diner.
And when some dude dropped a broom Bob and Carl killed the whole
town. My friend Mark said that he saw Bob and Carl totally
uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
And
that's what I call REAL
Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If
you don't believe that Bob and Carl have REAL
Ultimate Power
you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!!
It's an easy choice, if you ask me.
Bob and Carl are
sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't
believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys
are totally awesome and that's a fact. Bob and Carl are fast,
smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to
start yoga next year. I love Bob and Carl with all of my body
(including my pee pee).
(the serious/dubious look on Nate's face here is priceless)
The
Gauntlet
There
was a disclaimer before this one to ensure nobody got sued. The
performers basically stated that it was a work of parody and that
nobody – particularly certain celebrities – should be upset by
the goings-on.
I
would like to make my own disclaimer stating that I am merely
relating what happened during this bit. I would also like to make it
very clear that I am a huge fan of Felicia Day and her works and did
not approve of this bit or laugh until tears were streaming out from
under my mask. Not once.
This
is what happened during “The Gauntlet”:
A
young nerd gets one of those stand-ups of Felicia Day.
It
comes alive.
The
young nerd wants to have sex with the Felicia Day stand-up.
Side
Note: It is important to point out that this stand-up is not actually
Felicia Day, nor is it meant to be. As I looked on in horror, not
laughing even once, I pretended it was some kind of demon that had
possessed the cardboard stand-up.
The
Felicia Day stand-up says that that would be great, but only if
Side
Note: Again – I must stress that this is not
actually Felicia Day.
She
can shit in his mouth.
The
young nerd is not thrilled by this idea, but the Felicia Day stand-up
is way into it. And very convincing.
Finally,
the Felicia Day stand-up convinces the young nerd to let her do the
deed (shit in his mouth).
Side
Note: I feel that alcohol might have played an important role in this
scenario. I am married, so no Felicia Day mouth-shitting for me
anyway – stand-up or otherwise. But I think we all have to admit
the conversation would be different depending upon the amount and
type of alcohol in one’s system. I feel that everybody has at least
one famous person that if they were drunk enough they would allow to
shit in their mouth in order to have sex with them. They might not
admit it, but it’s there. And the people that are all like, “Oh,
no! I would never ever
let anybody shit in my mouth at all ever!” are the ones that
wouldn’t even need to be drunk.
So
then Felicia Day shits in the young nerd’s mouth.
And
then it’s sex time, so an enormous, black cock pops out of Felicia
Day’s nether regions and the young nerd screams and that’s the
end.
Appalling.
You people make me sick.
(from the Muppet Wiki)
By
Raymond Carr
With
Nate Devoll
And
Nate Devoll’s Ass
At
this point Bob and Carl had just about given up. Carl was still
horrified by the whole Xenomorph scenario and both of them were
terrified at the idea of possible Felicia Day backlash.
Side
Note: I would like to once again reiterate that that was a
demon-possessed stand-up that quite frankly barely even looked like
Felicia Day. I think it may well have been Alexandra Breckenridge.
Who I would certainly never let shit in my mouth.
Please
and Queues
This
one was just sweet. I loved the robot in it, not only for the form
but for the voice as well. The female actor was great, coming off as
what you might term the “typical girlfriend” but never being
truly off-putting. I liked this a whole lot.
Here’s
the deal – a robot and his girlfriend are in line at a panel. It
turns out they have different agendas. It also turns out that the
robot has spent a lot of money on dumb shit (something I can relate
to). They have a very real but also very cute fight. Their different
interests come up, but of course their love of their different
interests are what keep them together.
This
sketch was
Dragon*Con. We all like different stuff. We might actively dislike
stuff others love. But we love the fact that others love that stuff.
We love their love, even if we don’t love their stuff, know what I
mean?
It
wasn’t at the time, but this is now my favorite performance of the
night. It was so well-acted and the message is so fantastic and
important. I want a shirt with this bit on it.
By
Dr. Gregg van Laningham and Qate Bean
With
the Puppet Slam Players (basically everybody else)
Huge
thanks to Carl and Producer Pattycakes for hooking me up with the
credits for this year’s Puppet Slam. I didn’t think to have them
last year and I felt terrible that I didn’t credit all of those
talented folks.
Massive
thanks to Beau Brown for all of this.
This
was a memorable and excellent cap to Dragon*Con. Just like the last
bit, Puppet Slam itself is a metaphor for what Dragon*Con is – many
differing interests and passions expressed in similar ways that all
of fandom can understand. Now that Puppetry has been made a part of
Dragon*Con, I don’t quite understand how we ever went without it.
There
is quite literally no more universal medium. Not everybody can draw
or make a cartoon. Not everybody can sing a song or write music. But
anybody can do this:
Everybody
has.
Granted, there is a whole range of skill levels, but Puppetry is a universal language that can communicate and entertain
without words and I hope that a lot of con-goers managed to get even
more out of the Puppetry Track than I did this year.
Mark
it on your schedule for next year. I guarantee you’ll be
entertained and educated.
And
I promise nobody will shit in your mouth. Unless you want them to.
Bob
and Carl played by Matt Nitchie and Beau Brown
No
Janitors were harmed in the making of this Puppet Slam.
-Phantom
FYI, the bad fairy puppet from "Uninvited" was created by David Michael Friend! To see more of what he does, check out "Moonfishing," it's in Volume V of Heather Henson's Handmade Puppet Dreams film series. Here's a trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqBDxVIqP5I
ReplyDeleteAwesome! Thanks for the link. And great job this year - can't wait to see what's in store for 2013!
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