Welcome
to the post where I speculate about who will wear what at the
Southeast’s biggest and best nerd festival.
This
is the third year I’ve done this post and I sure hope I’ll do a
little better with my predictions than I did last year. I
think a couple of last year’s picks are actually more likely this
year – I guess I just overestimated the cosplayers’ initiative
last time. But I feel pretty sure we’re going to see a bunch of
Banes this year – especially with a store-bought costume readily
available – and surely some brave seamstress will take on the
plating and seams of the New 52.
Side
Note: It occurs to me that stupid people are probably going to start
mistaking me for Bane rather than Nacho Libre. As a matter of fact,
it’s already happened once. I can only assume these people are
color blind. And design blind. Oh, well – at least it’s a step up
in mistaken identity.
I’m not sure this year in media has presented as large a playing field as 2011. Obviously The Amazing Spider-Man, Avengers, and The Dark Knight Rises are big deals. And Game of Thrones has become a powerful force in the kingdom of dorkery (yes – it is a kingdom. Joss Whedon is the monarch). But what were the lower key releases? I can’t think of a single horror flick with striking, recognizable characters. The Woman In Black and Cabin In the Woods were both excellent, but neither presented much opportunity for costuming. Or did they?
This
is a total shot in the dark and probably extremely unlikely, but it
would be the greatest group costume ever if a bunch of folks dressed
up like the knock-off monsters from the movie. Or maybe just as a
little Japanese girl holding a frog.
I
know this one isn’t exactly insightful, but I have a very specific
vision of what we’re going to see. There’ll be the guys of
varying degrees of body appropriateness sporting their store-bought
Dark
Knight
costumes. I don’t begrudge that because, quite frankly, how else
are you going to do that costume? I’m sure we’ll also see plenty
of Banes. I’m particularly eager to see fat Banes. I think these
will outnumber fat Hulks at least 3-1 this year.
No,
what I am looking forward to are the woefully inaccurate Catwoman
costumes that are sure to be happening. Never mind the ladies who
won’t be mindful of my “Costuming to Body Type” rule – I’m
talking about the ones who will be wearing black bodysuits with a
Party City cat ears headband, some regular black high heels, and
probably one of those tiny, bullshit whips.
I
have a plan for these women. I’m going to tell them how hot they
look and how great Catwoman is. Then I’m going to ask them if they
can do the “Catwoman Crawl”. I’ll explain that Catwoman usually
sneaks around on her hands and feet, very quickly, moving
side-to-side and hissing. Then I will take a picture.
This
one might be a tough sell, as it premiered late last year and was
over months ago. This year’s season is not only a completely
different story, but also doesn’t start until October. But this was
an incredibly memorable show with an amazing cast of stand-out
characters, a few of which have a certain look that might appeal to
costumers and one that majorly appeals to me. If you’ve been
following Needless Things at all, you know
I’m talking about Moira the Ghost Maid.
I’m talking about Moira the Ghost Maid.
Ladies
– this is an easy one. You can find maid outfits and garter belts
everywhere.
Just add in a bucket of bloody water and a scrub brush and you’re
golden. No wigs, though. If you’re not a redhead, dye it. But I
expect at least 23 Moiras. Make it happen. And if a couple have to be
old, one-eyed Moira; so be it.
And
then there’s the Rubberman. This one is easy in a different kind of
way, in that the dudes that sport this look probably
already own the costume. Actually, the hard part is going to be
determining who is in an American
Horror Story
costume and who is just wearing a rubber fetish suit.
Other
AHS
possibilities include the burned guy, the doctor and his wife with
the freaky little baby. I’d love to see a group costume here, but
I’m not sure all of the characters are distinctive enough for it.
We
saw a few costumes inspired by the Dragon*Con TV stars last year,
but I have a feeling Bob & Carl are going to be represented in a
huge way in 2012. Not only is there actually a Puppetry Track this
year – largely thanks to the success of the Janitors; Bob &
Carl’s followers – the Janiteers – are a growing and vocal
bunch. I would expect not only standard human-sized versions of the
two puppets, but also variations. Steampunk Bob & Carl are almost
a given, but I’d expect maybe superhero, zombie, and probably even
some Game
of Thrones-style
medieval gear. All of this just occurred to me in about thrity
seconds, so I’m hoping the real cosplayers thought of all that
months ago. If not, I’m ashamed of you guys.
Prometheus
not only offered new costumes and characters from Ridley Scott’s
already-established Alien-verse
(I already hate that and I just made it up), it also introduced us to
a whole new race of aliens – the Engineers. Of course, Engineer
costumes would be prohibitively difficult – they’re so damned
tall! - and I can’t imagine how anybody would make that giant
facehugger. No, I’m just thinking that some ladies with the right
body types might want to recreate Noomi Rapace and Charlize Theron’s
gauze Future Underwear. C’mon , girls – you can do it! It could
be the new Leeloo! Especially with that sexy line of surgical staples across your abdomen.
I
totally expected this last year and didn’t see a single costume
from DC’s new continuity. But maybe that’s because nobody took it
seriously as a permanent thing. I mean, who wants to get stuck with
some seamy, overly armored, briefless Superman costume when he’s
probably going to revert to the old look within a year? Just look at
the third-party licensing – how many lampshades or sheet sets or
wall stickers or t-shirts have you seen in the mass market that look
like the New 52 versions? Everything
is still the classic costumes. Even the new sixth-scale figures from
Sideshow are based on the older costume designs. That’s showing a
whole lot of faith in your reboot, DC.
Sorry.
Didn’t meant o go off on a tangent.
Now
that a year has passed and the New 52 is clearly the ongoing, fully
supported paradigm (pfft) I think we might see some costumes. At the
very least they are visually interesting and would provide a fresh
challenge for talented cosplayers.
Or
we might once again see Stephanie Browns outnumber Barbara Gordons
twenty-to-one.
This
movie provided so many opportunities for every level of cosplayer.
For the skilled you have all of the hero costumes, the Chitauri, and
Loki. For the intermediate there’s various forms of SHIELD agents.
For buffoons like me who can barely loop a scarf around their neck,
let alone sew leather pants together, there’s Agent Coulson, Tony
Stark in his Black Sabbath shirt, Natasha Romanov in her Little Black
Dress, or the Shawarma guy. I can’t wait to see the Avenger
cosplayers Assemble Saturday night at the Marriot.
Side
Note: I don’t know if that’s really where or when that will
happen. That’s just a good spot for themed costume assemblage.
We’ve
seen plenty of Adventure
Time
costumes over the past couple of years, and believe me – I’m
excited to see more. But what I’d really be stoked to see this year
would be Mordecai, Rigby, Benson, Pops, Muscle Man, and Skips. Oh,
please
let there be a Skips. Not to mention the hundreds of incredible
tertiary characters this show has already given us like Death, Gary
the Chauffeur, and Baby Duck Gestalt.
Well,
duh.
-Phantom
for funsies, here is the link to the SPREADSHEET OF SUPERHERO COSTUMING GROUP TIMES AND LOCATIONS: http://thesuperherocostumingforum.yuku.com/topic/5787/The-D-Con-2012-Photoshoot-Schedule-Link-in-first-post
ReplyDeletebecause that exists! Also, so glad you mentioned barbara gordans and not kate kanes! we should have a black widow drinking game.
On the one hand I would love to do a Black Widow drinking game. On the other hand, I do not want to be passed-out-drunk before 9 PM. And thanks for the link - good resource!
DeleteAlso - what's wrong with Kate Kane?
Also, also, that Moira .gif I used is shit.