Sorry for the lack of post yesterday - as I predicted it has become increasingly difficult for me to find time to write. I'm still going to post as much as I can and the odd missed day here and there will be over in time for my Dragon*Con coverage at the latest!
Welcome
to Phantom Who, a new feature designed to go along with the Earth
Station Who podcast, which I co-host. There I am known as “Dave”
because “Phantom Troublemaker” takes up too much room on the
stationary. Every other week there will be a new podcast discussing
all things Doctor Who, with a central discussion about a particular
story.
For the
first year we are covering regeneration stories. Starting with An
Unearthly Child and
wrapping up the current regenerations with The
Eleventh Hour, we’ll be
covering the first and last stories of each of the first eleven
Doctors.
We
endured
enjoyed the final adventure of the Doctor in his second incarnation.
Accompanied by Jamie and Zoe, the Doctor landed in the middle of an alien plot to recruit Earth soldiers from across time into a massive army meant to enforce peace across the galaxy through the might of a galactic empire. Yeah, seriously – they said “Galactic Empire”.
Accompanied by Jamie and Zoe, the Doctor landed in the middle of an alien plot to recruit Earth soldiers from across time into a massive army meant to enforce peace across the galaxy through the might of a galactic empire. Yeah, seriously – they said “Galactic Empire”.
The
Doctor and his companions went through a cycle of being captured by
and escaping from so many different factions that it was almost
hilarious. Once the Doctor stopped the War Lord in charge he realized
that things were such a mess he had no choice but to contact his own
people – the Time Lords – to clean up. We learned that the Doctor
was a renegade Time Lord who had stolen his TARDIS to escape the
eternal neutrality and resultant inactivity (and general boringness)
of his people.
As
punishment for his theft and desertion, the Time Lords forced the
Doctor to use one of his remaining regenerations and exiled him to
his seemingly favorite planet - a small, blue sphere known as Earth…
This time around the TARDIS materialized in a forest on Earth and the Doctor stumbled out, wearing his old clothes and a different body. The Time Lords disabled the TARDIS’ dematerialization circuit to enforce the renegade’s exile, so it won’t be going anywhere under its own power.
The
Doctor arrived in the midst of a meteor storm that has deposited
several strange, pink spheres across the countryside. UNIT – the
United Nations Intelligence Taskforce - is investigating these
strange meteorites and has managed to recover very few of them.
Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge Stuart is the commanding officer of
UNIT and is doing his best to deal with the irritating members of the
press that have descended upon the town nearest the meteor strikes
(don’t get the wrong idea from my use of the term “meteor
strikes”; they’re small meteorites impacting with a minimum of
drama). The Brigadier is also interviewing for the position of UNIT
scientific advisor. His current prospect is Doctor Liz Shaw, who is
basically Scully except before Scully existed. Dr. Shaw poo-poos the
Brigadier’s claims that UNIT was formed to deal with
extraterrestrial activity on Earth. She’ll see, won’t she?
Before
UNIT can make it to the final meteorite, some good-for-nothing local
scalper finds the crash site and digs it up. He likes shiny, pink,
glowing things so he takes it home and hides it in a chest.
Meanwhile,
a UNIT patrol has come across the Doctor. They take him to a local
hospital and phone the Brigadier, who tells them to have a patrol
guard the TARDIS. The doctors at the hospital perform some tests on
the unconscious Time Lord and discover that he not only has alien
blood, but two hearts as well. Naturally, the head doctor then walks
all over the hospital talking loudly about the “man from space”
in front of janitors, the press, and everybody else. This is the sort
of doctor that you would not want handling your more intimate,
delicate medical problems. Like, you wouldn’t go to him about a
rash in your personal areas. The man has no discretion.
One
particularly waxy and sinister-looking member of the press hops into
a phone booth and informs the person on the other end about the Man
From Space.
The
Brigadier and Dr. Shaw arrive at the hospital to retrieve the Doctor,
but the Brig is shocked to find he does not know the man in the
hospital bed. The white-haired man does know the soldier, though. He
demands a mirror, criticizes his new appearance, and falls back
asleep. This is starting to feel like a first Doctor story.
Out in
the woods the poacher has run into a UNIT patrol. He acts so
suspicious you’d think the soldiers would just shoot him on the
spot, but instead they just let him go on his merry way.
Back in
the Doctor’s room – which is a very nice room for some indigent
somebody found in the woods – our fresh-faced Time Lord is
mystifying the staff by moaning about his shoes. It takes the
expertise of the head doctor to figure out that the man’s shoes are
in a locker with the rest of his possessions. A nurse is dispatched
straightaway to retrieve the footwear because doctors certainly can’t
be bothered with such things; what with being so busy running all
over the hospital relaying sensitive, secret information to the
public. Once the Doctor has his shoes back he hugs them and falls
asleep, as though they were a cherished teddy bear. Time Lords are
weird, man.
Once the
Doctor does wake up, we finally see what the big deal was with his
shoes. That’s where he hides the TARDIS key. Which might explain
why he’s been as grumpy as he has up to this point. Seems like a
terrible place to keep a key if you ask me. Just as he’s about to
leave the hospital, a bunch of ruffians show up and kidnap him. They
stick the still-recovering Time Lord in a wheelchair and attempt to
bundle him into an ambulance when the still-recovering-but-wily
Doctor escapes. In his wheelchair. The ruffians know that they have
no hope of catching the man on foot (really?), so they hop in the
ambulance to pursue him. This prompts the UNIT soldiers to fire on
the ambulance. So, as a note, if you are an ambulance driver and get
an emergency call while at the hospital you had better make sure
there are no UNIT soldiers around before you go tearing out of the
driveway. Because they will shoot you.
The
clearly-in-better-shape Doctor hops out of the wheelchair and makes
his way back to the TARDIS, where he is promptly shot in the head by
some other UNIT soldiers.
THE
END
I
thought this was an odd way to end the whole Doctor Who franchise,
but it did make an interesting statement about the nature of not only
the military, but reality in general. I mean, as many times as the
Doctor has been shot at, it was bound to catch up with him someday,
right? It’s not like he was going to just happen to run into
terrible marksmen for the next fifty years, right?
HA! Just
kidding!
Being
shot in the head isn’t enough to keep our adventurous Time Lord
down, silly! But he does end up back in the hospital, once again
under the care of Doctor Discretion.
The
Brigadier shows up and there is an odd amount of confusion about how
the Doctor collapsed. I suppose nobody wants to admit to having shot
the boss’ buddy. I’m not entirely clear on how the Doctor went
unharmed. Could be that he was still in the regeneration process,
kind of like later on when he got his hand cut off during an alien
invasion and it just grew back and then later grew a whole new Doctor
on its own. But we’ll get to that.
For now,
the Brigadier retrieves the TARDIS key from the unconscious Doctor
and orders his men to take the craft itself to UNIT headquarters. One
of the UNIT soldiers shows the Brigadier a meteorite that broke when
it impacted and the Brig orders it taken back to the HQ as well
because he likes pink, shiny things as much as the next guy.
Meanwhile,
strange things are afoot at Auto Plastics, a nearby manufacturing
plant. A man named Hibbert is deflecting an employee named Ransome
who is asking questions about the plant. After Ransome leaves, the
boss – Channing - shows up to have a word with Hibbert. And by
“have a word” I mean use his mysterious
powers of HYPNOSIS! Clearly
Channing is part of a devious alien plot to do something naughty to
the Earth.
Speaking
of naughty, it’s about time for the Shower Scene! The Doctor wakes
up and decides he’s had about enough of laying around doing
nothing, so he hops out of bed and goes to take a shower:
Once he’s all squeaky clean and the Sexy Level of Doctor Who has been dialed up about 1000% from what it previously was, the Doctor steals some fancy clothes and an antique automobile and heads for UNIT headquarters.
If you
recall, the TARDIS was taken there earlier and the Brigadier is
currently trying to get in using the key he took from the Doctor. Liz
Shaw is looking on, unimpressed. General Scobie – from Her
Majesty’s Armed Forces – shows up and Liz explains that they are
trying to get into this big, blue police box because it is a
spaceship in about the same way you would explain that your senile
old grandmother was trying to make a television out of Pop Tarts.
General Scobie is oddly unfazed.
Side
Note: I absolutely hate
General Scobie’s name. It’s so odd as to be distracting. I
understand you can’t go around calling everybody Johnson and
Andrews, but Scobie is just terrible. It sounds like “scabies” or
“Scooby” and it bugs the heck out of me every time.
Out in
the woods, we see our first Auton and it is super-scary. Autons are
basically store mannequins that move around and murder people. And
search for glowing, pink orbs. They are easily one of the scariest
and most cost-effective Doctor Who villains. This Auton has detected
a meteorite in the area that just happens to be in the back of a UNIT
truck. It decides the best way to retrieve the meteorite is to just
step out in front of the truck and it totally works. As soon as the
driver sees the Auton he swerves off the road into a tree. Not
because he was afraid of hitting a pedestrian, but because he just
saw the scariest thing he had ever seen in his life and lost the
ability to think. The Auton grabs the orb and hot foots it back to
Auto Plastics.
Once the
Doctor arrives at UNIT HQ he sweeps in and informs the Brigadier that
he is, indeed the Doctor and that furthermore the Brigadier should
give him his TARDIS key back and let him be on his way. The UNIT CO
is not having it, especially with all of these mysterious, pink orbs
laying all over the countryside. He tells the Doctor that if he takes
a look at the remnants of one of the orbs he might consider giving
him the key back. Naturally the Doctor can’t resist a bit of odd
phenomena, so he takes a look at the pieces and deduces that they
are, indeed, weird. He wants to know where the rest are and the Brig
says that by the time UNIT got to the crash sites they were all gone.
Back at
Auto Plastics that incorrigible rapscallion Ransome has returned to
further investigate. He sneaks into the main workshop and finds it
packed with a bunch of strange, futuristic electronics and some kind
of giant tank. There’s also a row of mannequins clad in blue
coveralls and ascots lined up against a wall. As Ransome is poking
around, one of the mannequins steps away from the wall and approaches
him from behind. Really, if you’re a horrifyingly creepy automaton
I think that’s about the only
way you could approach somebody. Just as the front portion of the
Auton’s hand flips down to reveal a blaster, Ransome turns around,
catches sight of the aberration, and screams hysterically. The Auton
fires its weapon and Ransome takes off.
The
reporter makes his way out of the factory with the Auton in hot
pursuit. Things look bleak until Hibbert and Channing round a corner
with General Scobie, just missing catching sight of Ransome. The
Auton, clearly knowing it should not be seen, retreats back inside.
This allows Ransome to climb the gate and escape into the woods where
he collapses, presumably to be found by UNIT; who are capable of
finding anything in the woods unless they are looking for it. Let’s
just hope they don’t shoot him.
General
Scobie is at Auto Plastics to approve a dummy of himself that is
being made for an exhibit of world leaders. More on that later.
Back at
UNIT HQ the Doctor talks Liz into swiping his TARDIS key from the
Brigadier because he’s just smooth that way. She does because to
her it’s still just a police box and the second he has the key the
Doctor steps inside to leave. Which is when he discovers the Time
Lords’ hatchet job on the dematerialization circuit and the huge
cloud of smoke that results. He exits his craft to find Liz and a
perturbed Brigadier , who proceeds to recruit the hapless Doctor into
further helping out with the whole meteorite thing.
Which,
surprisingly, the UNIT patrol is making some headway on. They did,
indeed, find Ransome in the woods and managed not to shoot him. The
poacher also showed up and was cajoled into admitting he had one of
the meteors and was sent to retrieve it from his home.
Which is
where his wife has just discovered an Auton rummaging around in the
dining room, knocking over the fine china and just generally being
inconsiderate. Infuriated, the poacher’s wife grabs a shotgun and
unloads both barrels into the Auton’s chest. The Auton marches on,
unfazed, and wifey passes out. It’s just then that UNIT arrives and
finally gets to shoot at something that needs shooting. The Auton
manages to escape, though, and happens across Ransome recuperating in
a UNIT tent. Hibbert and Channing are observing from afar and order
their servant to vaporize the man. When Auto Plastics terminates an
employee, they really
terminate an employee! (rimshot)
By this
time just enough weird stuff has gone on involving Auto Plastics for
the Doctor to want to go and check it out. He takes Liz with him and
they meet up with Hibbert, who clearly has something to hide. He
deflects their questions and insists he has nothing to hide. Then he
shoos them out of the plant.
That
night, General Scobie is on the phone with Brigadier
Lethbridge-Stuart. The Brig asks Scobie for support in further
investigating Auto Plastics and the General agrees to meet the UNIT
commander there in the morning. After he hangs up, his doorbell
rings. He opens the door to find not a Kiss-O-Gram, but an exact
duplicate of himself!
We cut
to the next morning at UNIT HQ, where the Doctor and Liz are
examining the meteorite they recovered from the poacher. The Time
Lord has determined that there is a brain inside. Obviously this
requires some snooping around. At the same time the Brigadier
receives a phone call from Not General Scobie informing him that Auto
Plastics is off-limits and he’s got better stuff to do, anyway.
This prompts the Brigadier to approve the Doctor’s proposed
snooping.
At Auto
Plastics, Hibbert is finally being let in on the Big Picture. He and
Channing are in the workshop with all the fancy equipment and the big
tank. We see that there is a big, disgusting, pulsating thing in the
tank and Channing explains that it is the Nestene Consciousness; the
thing that controls the Autons and has conquered many a civilization
over the eons. He tells Hibbert that Autons have been placed all over
the world and will be activated that night to reveal themselves…
um, attack
and take over.
While
that bit of exposition is taking place the Doctor and Liz Shaw are
snooping. Through the magic of breaking and entering they discover
that the mannequin of General Scobie is actually General Scobie and
also that there are an awful lot of mannequins of world leaders just
sitting around. The Doctor deduces the Auton’s plot from this
evidence.
Just as
they are about to leave the Auto Plastics storeroom where the
mannequins are being kept, Hibbert walks in and discovers the duo.
The Doctor tries to convince the man that he is taking part in
something awful and should help them stop it, but the brainwashing is
too strong. Channing walks in a moment later and the Doctor and Liz
hide behind a curtain. Oddly, Hibbert does not betray them to his
master. This is good, because it means our heroes are able to get
back to the Brigadier and tell him he needs to move on Auto Plastics
pronto.
It is decided the force will head out in the morning and the Doctor
begins work on a device to destroy the Nestenes.
Meanwhile,
Not General Scobie delivers the final meteorite to Channing. He took
it directly from the lab at UNIT HQ. It’s easy to do stuff like
that when you’re a general. More bad guys should whip up prosthetic
generals to work for them. Channing takes the pink orb and places it
in one of the pieces of machinery, which seems to bring the nasty
thing in the tank fully to life. It would appear that the poop has
hit the fan.
In the
morning, all across the world mannequins are coming to life, busting
out of their displays, and straight-up murdering tons
of people. It’s horrifying.
Hibbert
and Channing are watching from the Auto Plastics workshop and Hibbert
has finally had enough. He attempts to attack Channing and disable
the tank holding the Nestene Consciousness, but is vaporized by an
attending Auton, much the same way Ransome was.
Outside,
UNIT is mounting its assault on the plant. The Doctor has his Auton
Disruptor (or whatever) and Liz Shaw is following behind him carrying
the device that powers it. Just as they are about to enter the plant,
Not General Scobie shows up with a platoon of soldiers. He tells them
that UNIT are traitors and must be stopped. The Doctor tells them
that Scobie is an impostor and then goes on to prove it by using the
disruptor on the Auton replicant and melting him. You might think
this would cause the soldiers to shoot the Doctor, but instead they
decide to start following the Brigadier’s orders. This is for the
best because right about that time is when Autons start coming out of
the woodwork and blasting everybody. The Brigadier and his
newly-reinforced squad fend off the attack while the Doctor and Liz
head deeper into the plant.
They
arrive at the workshop to find Channing and the Nestene Consciousness
in its tank. The Doctor tells Channing his device will kill the
Consciousness and Channing is all like, “Well, go ahead then,
because nothing can kill it! HAHAHA!” so the Doctor runs over and
aims his Nestene Disruptor at the tank and…
Nothing
happens.
And as
much as I love Jon Pertwee and enjoyed this story, the next five
minutes or so are pure
comedy gold.
While
Liz Shaw fumbles with the power source for the Nestene Disruptor, the
Doctor is attacked by the Nestene Consciousness; which has grown many
sucker-covered tentacles. The mugging that Jon Pertwee does as the
Consciousness attempts to strangle him makes Patrick Troughton’s
performance from the end of The
War Games seem downright
nuanced. Pertwee bugs his eyes out, squints, gasps, and pants as
though… well, as though he were a Japanese schoolgirl being
attacked by a tentacle monster. If you know what I mean.
Finally
Liz manages to plug the loose wire that was causing their problem
back in and blasts the room, dissembling the Consciousness and
melting Channing, who was an Auton all along! As the Nestene
Consciousness is dispersed, we see the Autons outside the plant and
across the world collapse.
Back at
UNIT headquarters the Brigadier offers the exiled Doctor the position
of Scientific Advisor (which Doctor Elizabeth Shaw seems to have no
problem with, oddly, as she was the one originally up for the job).
The Doctor tells the Brigadier he needs an assistant – in the form
of Dr. Shaw, new clothes, a lab, and a car similar to the one he
stole… er, borrowed.
The Brigadier acquiesces as long as the Doctor agrees to stick
around. The UNIT commander then finally gets around to asking
something – the Doctor’s name.
“Smith…
Doctor John Smith,” says UNIT’s brand-new Scientific Advisor.
Notes:
- The actor who plays Brigadier Lethbridge-Stuart – Nicholas Courtney – mentioned on The Five Doctors commentary that it was the only time his mustache had been real. Nowhere is that more apparent than in Spearhead From Space. It was filmed during a particularly hot summer and apparently sweat and mustache glue don’t mix.
- During the shower scene, we see that Jon Pertwee has a tattoo. This tattoo is never seen or spoken of again, though I think the only other time we see quite so much of the Doctor is when Matt Smith takes over. And he has no tattoo. I think it would’ve been a nice touch to throw it in there.
- The scene of the Autons coming to life and slaughtering humans is one of the more genuinely disturbing things I’ve seen in Doctor Who. Lots and lots of people are killed and the Autons just keep marching around. I found the solid, lingering camera work of this scene to be so much more effective and chilling than the shaky, constantly-moving, MTV-inspired work seen in “Rose” and other modern media. I find all the fast movement and lack of focus on particular scenes or characters distracts from the story horribly. How am I supposed to feel the impact of anything when I am constantly being directed to something else? I can’t stand the modern method of filming action sequences. One single shot or multiple slow, steady shots are much better.
This is
the third time I’ve experienced this story. The first was a couple
of years ago when I purchased a “special” collection of all of
Jon Pertwee’s stories at Dragon*Con and watched most of them over
the course of a week or so. The second was when I listened to the
audio book version that came packed in with the Pandorica Series of figures. That was
tough. The lady narrating was about as exciting as a robot reading
math problems.
But
anyway, I really enjoyed Spearhead
From Space this time
around. I found it a bit slow the first time, but that was before I
had watched as much of the first three Doctors as I have now. I have
definitely seen a lot of stories that were slower and much more
padded out with nonsense. It was also before I had really grown to
love Jon Pertwee as the Doctor. He’s in my constantly rotating top
four of McCoy, Smith, and Tom Baker (with the latter as a constant
#1).
Come
back next time for Planet of
the Spiders, which is the
next story in the series and the last story for Jon Pertwee, the
third Doctor! It’s one of the more complex narratives of the
Pertwee era and also features giant, icky spiders.
No comments:
Post a Comment