Monday, October 3, 2011

Welcome to 31 Days of Halloween! - Day 1

31 Days of Halloween” is technically a big fat lie since I only post Monday through Friday. But “21 Days of Halloween” just doesn’t sound as spooooky. And I am aware that the SyFy channel uses the same name for their annual offering of Halloween-oriented programming, but I was using it before they even existed. Well, before “SyFy” existed anyway.
For the past three years I have spent the month of October torturing myself by trying to come up with a month’s worth of Halloween-oriented content. While does a much better job of it, I hope maybe I can entertain a fraction as well as that guy. As for this first entry, I have absolutely nothing to talk about other than wanting to start the month of creepy posts off.

In the past I’ve done Top Ten Lists, creepy Toy Reviews, Movie Reviews, and posts about Halloween shopping, decorating, and costumes. This year I want to shake things up a little bit by offering Top Ten Lists, creepy Toy Reviews, Movie Reviews, and posts about Halloween shopping, decorating and costumes, and reviews of classic creepy toys! WOW! MIND-BLOWING!
Besides the difficulty of coming up with twenty-one (or so) individual spooky-themed topics, one of the difficulties of October is that we always have so much going on. This year alone there’s decorating the house, the Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse, the Chamber of Horrors, PCW’s show on the 20th, Splatter Cinema’s series of horror flicks (which I probably won’t get to see), Lil’ Troublemaker’s birthday, the first actual Halloween party we’ll have been able to go to in years, and Halloween itself.
We’ll be taking care of the house today. I’m still putting out the standard skulls and tombstones and stuff, but I think we’re going a little lighter this year. Not so much with the corpses and severed heads. Lil’ Troublemaker is old enough to enjoy the holiday but not so old as to want to be looking at grotesque zombies all the time so we’re going to let him make some of our yard-adorning choices. Think more Scooby-Doo and less House of 1000 Corpses.
And then there’s the Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse. My favorite event in the world is Dragon*Con, followed closely by trips to Walt Disney World. But an easy third is this immersive horror event that started just last year and changed the way everybody who experienced it thinks of Halloween attractions. I cannot overstate how amazing AZA is. I don’t want to get too deep into it here because I did a review last year and I’ll be doing another next week, but just know that if you can make it you must go. There is nothing else like it. It’s a trip through a living horror movie.
And there’s also Atlanta’s own Chamber of Horrors. Me, Darth Pete, and Evil got a special preview tour of this gruesome walk-through back in July and I can’t wait to see it in action. We might make it to this one after our trip to AZA, but we also might just do it after the PCW show on the 20th.
Speaking of which, I highly recommend you go to The Masquerade on October 20th and see Platinum Championship Wrestling. It’s not exactly subject matter that’s specific to Halloween, but it is a great time. You can always check out the Chamber of Horrors afterwards or if you’re lucky there might even be another amazing after party.
Speaking of parties (my segues are ON FIRE!), we’ve got Lil’ Troublemaker’s fourth birthday which should be a lot of fun and that Halloween party. Among our group of friends somebody always has a Halloween party and a Christmas party. And I’m always working. And that sucks so bad because I love Halloween and Christmas and want to celebrate both in every way I can. But this year I happen to have the weekend of the Halloween party off and I am stoked. I’m even going to have an actual costume that isn’t just a mask. Heck, Mrs. Troublemaker’s even wearing a costume and that is definitely not her thing. I’ll probably still miss the Christmas party, but at least we got something.
And just so I don’t end this thing talking about a Christmas party; I’ll give you a look at some of the things coming up here on Needless Things.
  • Tomorrow I’m reviewing one of the best movies I’ve seen this year.
  • I’ll make a point of purchasing creepy toys whenever I can throughout October. I’ll probably end up buying some stuff I otherwise wouldn’t have and will hopefully end up with some very different reviews as a result.
  • I finally cracked and opened up a whole series of figures that I’ve been sitting on for a very long time. I’ll be reviewing those soon.
  • I’ll also be reviewing the very best horror-themed toys and figures from my collection. None of them have ever been reviewed before (by me) and I’ll be doing my best to make the reviews spooooky!
  • My reviews of the Masters of the Universe Classics Megator and Hurricane Hordak will be going up this month. No, they’re not specifically Halloweeny, but if I can’t get away with reviewing a giant zombie and a guy with a monster skull for a head then you guys are just too fucking picky. I’m also going to have to take whole new sets of pictures for them to fit in with the rest of the month.
  • I might attempt something related to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which is in my opinion the greatest television show ever made (technically I like Firefly just a teeny bit more, but Buffy’s longevity gives it the edge). I recently started re-watching it from the beginning and depending on how far I get into it I might put something together.
Oh, I almost forgot – Splatter Cinema at the Plaza Theater. I think I have too many schedule conflicts to get to any of these, but you might want to check out one or more of their excellent movie nights:
-10/4 & 10/7 – Night of the Comet brought to you by Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse
This is a shared favorite of mine and Mrs. Troublemaker’s. I really wish we could make it to this one. But you should definitely go – you could even win tickets to AZA at Tuesday’s show and those things are thirty bucks apiece (and worth every penny even if you do have to pay).
-10/11 – Evil Dead 2
Shit. This is my favorite movie sometimes (it rotates between this and Big Trouble In Little China). I really want to go to this one.
-10/21 – Zombie
Another classic. Splinter to the eye, anyone?
And then there’s the Silver Scream Spook Show’s screenings of The Haunted Palace on the fifteenth. There’s a matinee show at 1:00 that’s free for kids under 12 and then the late show at 10:00 for the grown-ups.
Every single Silver Scream Spook Show thus far has been on a weekend that I’ve been working (including this one), so I have never gotten to see it. I can’t personally recommend the experience, but I hear it’s awesome. You should go and send me some pictures so I can be jealous.
And now, thanks to a pathetic post I put up on Facebook complaining about a little writer’s block I have this great idea courtesy of Evil. I am going to end each post this month with a brief feature called “31 Days of Halloween vs. 31 Days of Halloween” where I will rate SyFy’s programming for the next 24 hours.
Well, I’m going to try to do it every day. I can’t guarantee anything because it’s going to require that I remember to do it while I’m posting each article and I’m pretty sure I’ll miss a few. But I love the idea and I’m going to give it a shot.
So here is the inaugural edition of Needless Things’ brand-new feature for 2011: 

31 Days of Halloween vs. 31 Days of Halloween!
  • 11 AM – 11 PM – Warehouse 13 marathon – I really dig this show and need to catch up on this season. It’s not very Halloweeny, but they’re wrapping up the season today. Also, I think Allison Scagliotti is way hotter than Felicia Day, even if her surname does sound like a C.O.P.S N’ Crooks villain.
Halloween score – 3
Quality score – 4
  • 1 AM – 3 AM – Never Cry Werewolf – I was going to laugh and dismiss this one without even knowing anything about it, but then I read the synopsis and saw the magical name of Kevin Sorbo and realized that I have actually seen this. It’s not a bad movie. It certainly isn’t good, but it’s fun to watch and Sorbo is pretty hilarious.
Halloween score – 4
Quality score - 2
  • 3 AM – 4 AM – Paranormal Witness – I haven’t watched this show yet, but I think one of the quotes on the ad is from Meredith Woerner of saying it’s scary. If that quote is true and not taken out of context then this one is probably worth checking out. I think the show is re-enactments of haunting. This episode is The Haunting of Mansfield Mansion. I don’t know what that is.
Halloween score – 5
Quality score – I’m guessing a 3, but I’ll get back to you
  • 4 AM – 8 AM – Paid Programming – Some of the stuff I’ve seen on infomercials is way scarier than anything SyFy cooks up for October.
Halloween score – 0
Quality score - 0
  • 8 AM – 8:30 AM – Scare Tactics – This show pretty much fucking sucks. If they’d just cut out all the fake pranks and have Tracy Morgan say crazy shit for 22 minutes it would win a fucking Emmy.
Halloween score – 4
Quality score - 1
  • 8:30 AM – 9:30 AM – Paranormal Witness – Another hour of ghost reenactments. I’ll watch this at some point.
Halloween score – 5
Quality score – 3
  • 9:30 AM – 11:30 AM – Locusts: The 8th Plague – Once again, I was ready to dismiss this one. But check out the star power: Julie Benz, David Keith, Jeff Fahey, and – get ready… no, seriously; I can tell you’re not ready for this one.
Here it is:
Dan Cortese. Yeah – that Dan Cortese. MTV Sports’ Dan Cortese.
That’s pretty impressive. You’ve got three pretty legit, solid actors and the guy that hosted MTV Sports. I’d totally watch this if I was going to be awake with nothing to do.
Halloween score – 3 (Stars aside, it’s still just a bugpocalypse movie – not very seasonal)
Quality score – I don’t know, probably a 3?

And it looks like it’s bug movies all day, but we’ll get to that tomorrow.

Until next time, stay creepy


  1. Great Halloween backgroud- love the pic!

  2. Thanks - I felt I needed something different. Stay tuned because I'm going to drive that backdrop into the fucking ground.
    Also, Scareglow is going to be a damn superstar by the time I'm done with him.