Movie Review – Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

This is a 2D review. The 3D movie effect doesn’t work due to an eye problem I have that I can never remember the name of, so I don’t go to 3D movies.

I dug the first Michael Bay Transformers movie. I would have liked a little more characterization for the title characters; but overall I thought it was just about as good as could be expected. It had more profanity than I would have liked, but whatever.

I thought Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen was a far superior movie to the first, mainly because it featured about twice as much “giant robots beating the shit out of each other” action. No, the story wasn’t amazing and the human-centric portions were just sort of there. The bottom line is that the movie gave me exactly what I wanted: lots of explosions and Autobots fighting Decepticons. Unfortunately it also gave me the Ghettobots – Skids and Mudflap – and about fifty times as much profanity as the first. I haven’t watched it again. I know I will at some point, but the mere thought of those stupid, cursing robots puts me off every time I think about it. The problem is compounded by the fact that I loved the rest of the movie so much. 

I suppose I should take a moment to address my hypocrisy.

Comic Book Wednesday – 6/2011 Update

I can't believe how many Comic Book Wednesdays I've had in a row now. I'm not sure how many exactly; but more than two amazes me.

 

Toy Review – Transformers: Dark of the Moon Shockwave By Hasbro

I think this is the first review I’ve done of a Transformer, but since I'm going to see the new movie at midnight I thought I'd give it a go with one of the new movie toys.

I’ve bought more Transformers recently than I normally would, mostly due to some excellent clearance prices and some characters I just couldn’t resist. I had planned to do a review of the Masterpiece Grimlock and just never got around to it. Same deal with the recent Sea Spray and whatever the little tank is that fits in his backside.

That sounded wrong.

Toy Review – Masters of the Universe Classics: Battleground Teela By Mattel

I am not in the least bit happy about Matty’s new shipping situation. It costs a bit more and takes much longer. What doesn’t make any sense is that they’re still using UPS for shipments of more than one item and that takes longer, too. I used to get my subscription items the day after they went on sale on the site. The last two things I’ve gotten have arrived three days later than that. Weak.

On the upside, neither of the two most recent figures have any noticeable defects; so way to go, there.

Toy Review – Masters of the Universe Classics: King Randor By Mattel

I don’t even know when King Randor was initially offered, but as soon as Matty announced Marlena for SDCC I knew I was going to have to get one.

Actually, there are several older Masters of the Universe Classics I’d like to pick up now. Man-At-Arms, Teela and Tri-Klops are on the list. I’d like a couple more Palace Guards. But my Holy Grail of older MOTUC figures is Wun-Dar. Man, do I want that guy. And his special bread shield.

Toy Review – GI Joe Jungle B.A.T. By Hasbro

I’ve always loved the B.A.T. figures. I even ordered an internet exclusive set in 2003 when I wasn’t really collecting Joes. I’ve still got those around here somewhere.

The Battle Android Troopers represent a major divergence in me and my father’s feeling s about GI Joe. I had enjoyed years of spoiling due to my father being in the military and being fully behind the concept of selling military service to eight-year-olds as a great idea. But 1986 is when GI Joe got really wacky and he started to give me that certain mouth contortion that I would grow so familiar with over the course of my adolescence. It meant, “The stuff you’re into is so stupid.”

Comic Book Wednesday – Heroes Con 2011

I’m sure it’s a super idea to be writing about Heroes Con two weeks after the fact. I would’ve done it sooner but I needed to finish up all the Green Lantern stuff for last week and just had a bunch of new toys I wanted to go ahead and review. So now I get to sit here and wrack my brain and try to remember who we met and when and who was cool and who wasn’t.

Actually, that last part is pretty easy because everybody was cool.

Toy Review – Indie Spotlight Comic Book Heroes: Scud: The Disposable Assassin By Shocker Toys

This might qualify as the weirdest toy find ever. Or the oddest circumstances. I don’t know, I just can’t believe I found this thing in Toys R Us for five bucks.

Shocker Toys produced this series of wacko indie comic book characters a couple of years ago in the wake of Hasbro getting the Marvel license and Marvel Toys/Toy Biz’ flop of an attempted recovery – it’s ludicrously named “Legendary Comic Book Heroes” line. It’s kind of the same thing as JAKKS losing WWE and getting TNA, except I think the LCBH might have actually done better. I’m pretty sure that’s because TNA is fucking terrible.

Toy Review – GI Joe Steel Brigade Trooper By Hasbro

I know this is going to be hard for you to believe, but I never had the Steel Brigade Trooper when I was a kid.

I think I filled out the form for it four or five times but for one reason or another I never sent it in. I wish I could convey how baffling this is to me – I mean, I sent off for all of the mail-in figures. I think my mom had no problem writing that check knowing that she’d have a personal servant to get the mail for the next six-to-eight weeks.

Green Lantern Week - Toy Review Green Lantern Movie Figures By Mattel

This is going to be kind of a blanket review because we’ve got way too many of these things now to do individual reviews. I’m just going to hit on each of the things we’ve gotten and call it a day.

As I so often seem to end up saying, we weren’t going to buy any of these. I wanted the Movie Masters and Lil’ Troublemaker wanted the Action League toys. The regular kid-oriented movie figures just didn’t fit into the equation. The first shots of the figures weren’t that impressive and they looked to have virtually no articulation.

We were out doing our normal stuff one day and saw the Hal Jordan versus Parallax set at Target. Lil’ Troublemaker thought it looked cool and I was quite taken with the claw mechanism. We didn’t get it, but we ended up talking about it a couple of times over the next day or so. One day on the way home from work I couldn’t resist anymore, so I stopped at Target and bought it for him.

Green Lantern Week - Toy Review Green Lantern: Movie Masters Naut Kei Loi By Mattel

Sick of that picture yet?

While Hal Jordan was the only Green Lantern Movie Masters figure I knew I was going to buy, this fish guy was the one I was most excited about seeing in person.

Green Lantern Week - Toy Review Green Lantern: Movie Masters Tomar Re By Mattel

I’ve always been very fond of Tomar Re. Not only for his design but also for his characterization. That fondness has only grown due to my son officially referring to him as “Chicken Lantern”.

Comic Book Wednesday – DC’s New 52

I hate to stick this right in the middle of a jam-packed and super-awesome Green Lantern Week, but I need to address the fucking insanity that came out of DC Comics while I was on vacation before it gets stale. Although it doesn’t seem that’s going to happen anytime soon. The whole world is talking about this and I can’t even begin to imagine how many trousers have been soiled over at Marvel.

Green Lantern Week - Toy Review Green Lantern: Movie Masters Hal Jordan By Mattel

I knew I was going to end up with at least a Hal Jordan from the Green Lantern Movie Masters line. There’s no way I was going to pass this one up.

Green Lantern Week - Toy Review Green Lantern: Movie Masters Green Man By Mattel

I was on MattyCollector.com at 11:55 the day this guy went on sale. I knew he wasn’t going to sell out, but I was a little nervous that She-Ra might. If you click that link you can find out how that went.

Green Lantern Week - Blu-Ray Review – Green Lantern: Emerald Knights

I would’ve bought this one pretty much no matter what, but when they cast Nathan Fillion as Hal that was just the 在星期天頂部的櫻桃.

Green Lantern Week - Toy Review - Green Lantern: Movie Masters Rot Lop Fan By Mattel

I was on the fence about these Green Lantern Movie Masters right up until I bought them.

I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not I liked them more times than I can remember. The initial pictures looked cool, then the articulation seemed too weird, then they revealed all the awesome aliens, then the paint looked weird, then it didn’t, etc. Most recently I had decided that I wasn’t going to order them online because I really wanted to see them in person before I committed to anything.

Comic Book Wednesday – The DC TWELVE!

You’re going to want a n explanation for juts what the heck is going on here if you didn’t read last Wednesday’s post. So go check it out. I’ll wait.

Okay, got it?

All of a sudden some crazy deity (likely the same one that presides over rounds of “Would You Rather”) gives you absolute control of a comic book publisher – in this case DC, in last week’s article it was Marvel.

The catch is, you only get to put out twelve books a month. Shit.

The Short Tale of the Gross Thing About She-Ra

CAUTION – THIS IS A DISGUSTING STORY

If you’re looking for an actual review of Mattel’s Masters of the Universe Classics She-Ra – Princess of Power figure you should go HERE.

The following section contains adult material that is unsuitable for pretty much anybody. I will be making some nasty jokes and comments about a beloved childhood toy. If you yourself are a child or are sensitive about such thing or have ever said something monumentally stupid like, “George Lucas raped my childhood!” then I ask you to return to YouTube for some more kitten videos. Because I am about to rape the fuck out of your childhood if you have any regard for She-Ra, Princess of Power.

Also, this is ABSOLUTELY NOT MY FAULT. It is Mattel’s fault. Blame them.

Toy Review – Masters of the Universe Classics: She-Ra – Princess of Power By Mattel

Yes. I bought a girl toy. Sue me.

If you think I’m not going to have a Princess of Power to ride that big, gay Pegasus I’m going to end up with before the end of the year then you’re out of your mind. And don’t think I won’t be hanging them from the ceiling, too.

I know they’ve already scheduled a new version of She-Ra - that will apparently be better equipped to ride the aforementioned gay flying horse - for the end of the year; but according to the evil goblin that runs Matty you will need both of these figures to make the “perfect” She-Ra. And lord knows if I’m gonna own girl toys, they’re gonna be “perfect” dagnabbit (I’m working on non-offensive cursing – we have a road trip soon and I don’t want to be introducing Lil’ Troublemaker to profanity any sooner than need be). I’ll give whatever permutation of parts that make up the leftover Princess of Partial Perfection to Mrs. Troublemaker. She won’t care and will think it’s neat either way.

What this all meant was that for the first time in many months I was sitting at the computer waiting for a Matty sale to start. I figured I was going to be in for a pretty brutal experience. Not only was this She-Ra getting reissued; Catra and Green Man were going up and Matty was selling the second wave of Green Lantern Classics. There were some other things too, but I didn’t think they’d exactly be doing the hotcake routine. In short, I knew the next hour was going to irritate the fudging poop out of me.

Comic Book Wednesday – The Marvel TWELVE!

I stopped by the comic shop today on the way into work and was given a fantastic idea. And it’s a good thing because I am tapped the fuck out. The only toys that have been showing up with any consistency are the Green Lantern movie toys and I’m saving those reviews for the week the movie comes out so I can have a stupid theme. So no toy reviews, which are normally my fallback when I don’t feel like being very creative. Nothing is really going on lately and I’m seriously considering just taking next week off. I don’t even know if I’ve got any Vintage Troublemaker that’s worth reposting.

But today – thanks to Varis – I have got a treat for you! Well, maybe. I think it’s a great idea but I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to approach it yet. Varis and one of the other customers were discussing something from a podcast (I think) and he said I should write a post about it.

By this point you’re probably fairly irritated and just wondering what the heck this great idea is. Here you go:

Imagine you are handed control of Marvel Comics. Like, the whole shebang. Every title they publish. It’s yours.

But.

You have to reduce the monthly publishing schedule to twelve titles.

Think about that for a minute.

I know, right?

I believe this was inspired by DC’s September “Reboot” (yeah, right) of the whole DCU.