Doctor Who Week: The Story Thus Far - Part 4

MASSIVE SPOILERS FOLLOW!

You should really just go and watch the last 213 episodes of Doctor Who if you’ve got the time. Which you probably don’t since the new season starts tomorrow (see countdown to the right); unless you happen to live in a blue box. At the very least you should watch last season, but if you can’t manage that here’s a (not so) quick summary:

Sorry for the lack of pictures in this one. I am super pressed for time!

Continued from yesterday's post...

Oh – before the attempted snog-fest Amy Pond explained to the Doctor that she was supposed to be getting married the day after she originally left with him (which is still tomorrow when they return to Earth) and it’s to the big-nosed fellow that helped them out at the hospital (Rory).

Cut to Rory’s bachelor party where the Doctor jumps out of the cake and tells Rory what a lucky man he is because his future wife sure is a good kisser, after which he grabs Rory and brings him along to 16^th century Venice so he (Rory, not the Doctor) and Amy can have some quality romance time because she quite clearly needs it.

Toy Review – Masters of the Universe Classics: Panthor By Mattel

Panthor is the reason I ordered the re-release of Battle Cat.

I’m not partial to cats. Well, that’s an understatement. I like cats about as much as politicians like the truth. But I knew I was going to have to have Panthor whenever he got issued (because c’mon – purple and green) and I would feel stupid if I had Skeletor riding his big purple cat and didn’t have the comparable mount for He-Man.

io9 Kind of Sucks; Also - SHARKTOPUS!

A couple of weeks ago io9 had a contest to give away one of those plush Sharktopus dolls that I would stab a bum to have. I was at work when I saw the contest and its approaching deadline, so I had to do a lot of thinking to figure out just how the heck I was going to enter.

The contest involved following up this sentence:

When Sharktopus fell in love, it was a mild Spring day.

Tone Deaf Pig-Dogs at The Clermont Lounge 2: Lounge Harder

Fucking crap in a hat did I have a shitty Thursday.



Oh, did you think I was going straight into the recap of a great Thursday night punk rock show at Atlanta’s classiest joint? No such luck, junior. You’re going to have to get through a few paragraphs of me bitching first. I have to set these things up, man.

Doctor Who Week: Toy Review - Doctor Who: The Pandorica Opens The Doctor (Fezzes Are Cool Version) By Character Options

“Fezzes Are Cool Version” isn’t actually the name of this figure, but it should be. Also, I got a little too excited and opened this one before I took my packaging picture.

This is now the crown jewel of my toy collection. The fact that I own a toy of the Doctor wearing a fez is so utterly incomprehensible and wonderful that I will give the decision maker at Character Options a full kiss on the mouth if I ever meet them.

So be warned, decision maker. You might want to avoid Dragon*Con.

Really, the only thing that could conceivably replace this as my favorite action figure concept ever would be an actual, for-real licensed Phantom Troublemaker figure in the GI Joe 25^th Anniversary style.

But is it really that great? Read on…

Doctor Who Week: Toy Review - Doctor Who: The Pandorica Opens Silurian Warrior By Character Options

I was perfectly happy to be getting another Silurian in this set. I loved the two-parter from last season, what with all of the call backs to Doctor Three. It’s also a case where the modernization of classic monsters worked because we’ve already seen two other different but related variations of the species – the three-eyed Silurians and the aquatic Sea Devils.

Actually, I’m kind of hoping that we might see something more similar to the old three-eyed version at some point. I like anything that shoots lasers out of its forehead.

Doctor Who Week: Toy Review - Doctor Who: The Pandorica Opens Cyberman By Character Options

I can’t really pick a favorite Doctor Who monster, but I tend strongly towards the Cybermen. Well, the old Cybermen. I never totally bought into the new Cybus Industries models. I don’t hate them and I don’t even think they’re a bad redesign, they just don’t seem quite as creepy as the classic versions. Especially this one:

“Tomb of the Cybermen” (which is where that guy comes from) is one of my favorite episodes of Doctor Who, and one that I think really captured the creepiness of the titular aliens.

Doctor Who Week: Toy Review - Doctor Who: The Pandorica Opens - Auton as Roman Centurion By Character Options

This is the character I was least excited about getting when I preordered the set from BigBadToyStore. I liked the role the Centurions played in “The Pandorica Opens”, but I didn’t really need a toy of one of them. I didn’t even buy the one that was supposed to be Rory because I’m fairly certain we’re going to get a regular Rory figure soon – probably this year.

Doctor Who Week: The Story Thus Far - Part 3

MASSIVE SPOILERS FOLLOW!

You should really just go and watch the last 213 episodes of Doctor Who if you’ve got the time. Which you probably don’t since the new season starts tomorrow (see countdown to the right); unless you happen to live in a blue box. At the very least you should watch last season, but if you can’t manage that here’s a (not so) quick summary:

Continued from yesterday's post...

Something you should know about the TARDIS: Just leave it alone. Don’t ask why sometimes it’s late and sometimes it’s right on time. Try not to think about how it might show up right outside the PM’s War Room in one story and then land in Wales when you meant Rio in another. But if you can’t just accept that it makes for better TV, here’s a theory that I made up but probably wasn’t the first to think of:

The TARDIS is sentient, to a degree. It is an interdimensional space/time vehicle that can think. It is a piece of technology so far beyond our comprehension that we’re like plankton in the presence of an iPad. Also, it has been utilized by not only the Doctor, but many other members of his race throughout time and to who knows what ends. In other words – she’s going to do as she damn well pleases. If she wants you in the Cabinet War Rooms, you’re going to be in the Cabinet War Rooms. Best not to ask why.

Doctor Who Week: Toy Review - Doctor Who: The Pandorica Opens Angel Bob By Character Options

The Weeping Angels have become a signature of the new Doctor Who. They’ve got t-shirts, books, toys and have featured in three stories. They may not be Daleks, but people love them.

Naturally, Character Options has latched on to this and produced somewhere around five variations of the creatures with more to come. Heck, one of their new LEGO-style playsets revolves around the stone assassins.

Doctor Who Week: The Story Thus Far - Part 2

MASSIVE SPOILERS FOLLOW!

You should really just go and watch the last 213 episodes of Doctor Who if you’ve got the time. Which you probably don’t since the new season starts tomorrow (see countdown to the right); unless you happen to live in a blue box. At the very least you should watch last season, but if you can’t manage that here’s a (not so) quick summary:

Continued from yesterday's post...

Which is where Series 6 (Season 32 if you’re keeping track) starts: the newly-refurbished Doctor is careening through the London sky in his newly-demolished TARDIS, leaking flames, smoke and (Time) Lord knows what else all over the place. The TARDIS comes to a crashing halt behind the house of a little girl named Amelia Pond. Being nearly fearless, she runs out of her house and watches as a man pops out of the blue box that has just ruined her gardening shed. He demands apples, so the nearly fearless little girl brings him into the kitchen and gives him an apple. The Doctor takes a bite, spits it out and says he hates apples.

Doctor Who Week: Toy Review Doctor Who: The Pandorica Opens Amy Pond (Police Costume) By Character Options

I am a big-time build-a-figure chump. If there is an item that I think I need, then I am going to buy any number of figures I don’t in order to have it. Sometimes I can unload the extraneous toys on eBay, sometimes I just end up with extra figures.

Despite knowing the Pandorica “toy” that this series of Doctor Who figures built was in no way a good toy, I had to have it. Just the concept of the Pandorica is so cool that even a half-assed one would do. Granted, I was hoping for a bit more than half-assed when I preordered the set from BigBadToyStore (In the interest of fairness I have to tell you I would have ordered from JRsToyWorld.com because it was fifteen[!] bucks cheaper but they sold out their preorders).

Doctor Who Week: The Story Thus Far - Part 1

MASSIVE SPOILERS FOLLOW!

You should really just go and watch the last 213 episodes of Doctor Who if you’ve got the time. Which you probably don’t since the new season starts tomorrow (see countdown to the right); unless you happen to live in a blue box. At the very least you should watch last season, but if you can’t manage that here’s a (not so) quick summary:

So the Doctor (just “Doctor”) is a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. All Time Lords are from Gallifrey but not all Gallifreyans are Time Lords. A long, long time ago the Doctor stole one of the Gallifreyans’ time machines and left town because he wasn’t too crazy about authority. Later he had to go back and kill them all, but only because it was best for everybody. The Doctor really doesn’t want to kill anybody, ever. But don’t push him. (Which brings up an interesting moral question: Batman absolutely will not kill but has no problem assaulting, beating or maiming pretty much anybody. The Doctor always avoids violence but will kill or cause death as a last resort when he deems it necessary. Based solely on those definitions, who is more morally sound?).

Doctor Who Week

Welcome to Doctor Who Week here on Needless Things! I don't have much to say in the intro other than I have loved this franchise since I was a little kid. Star Wars and wrestling are the only other things that have had so much staying power over the years.

Doctor Who is fantastic science fiction and brilliant fantasy. It presents adventures we can all dream of and ideas we can all aspire to.

If you need it, the countdown clock on the right will tell you when to turn on BBC America and check out the newest season. It's going to be crazy. Check in throughout the week and I'll be doing my best to catch you up in time for Saturday's big show. While my recap might be rushed and - quite frankly - a bit lousy; I hope it might be enough to convince you to check out some Classic Doctor Who or at the very least the new stuff.

You can also take a look at last year's Doctor Who Week and some other Who-related articles if you like.

Until next time, stay creepy

-Phantom

Toy Review Star Wars: The Vintage Collection General Calrissian By Hasbro

There have been surprisingly few Lando Calrissian figures lately. And shockingly, by “lately” I mean in the last ten years. The closest thing we have to a good modern era 3 ¾” scale Lando is the last Original Trilogy Collection version with the awful swivel elbows. The rest of the figure still looks really good, but those swivel elbows are the shits.

You really only have three (maybe four) options for a Lando, though – the Empire version, Jabba’s Palace disguise or Alliance General (the maybe comes from the possibility of an Expanded Universe version; which is unlikely). All three looks are very cool and instantly recognizable so I’m not too sure why Hasbro hasn’t cashed in on them a lot more.

Toy Review – Green Lantern Classics Series 2 Stel By Mattel

Stel is the collect-n-connect figure for Mattel’s Green Lantern Corps Series 2. He is also the main reason I bought G’Hu. Which is, of course, why companies produce build-a-figures. They want you to spend money on stuff you don’t want.

Movie Review: Your Highness

            I want to start by saying that I know for a fact I would have enjoyed this movie more if I had been baked. I’d downed 64 ounces of Miller Lite beforehand at the Dave & Buster’s; but – as one Phantomaniac pointed out to me on Facebook - that isn’t the same. Of course, he then went on to claim that marijuana enabled him to more fully appreciate the nuances and directorial decisions of stoner movies.

Right, dude. Being bombed just makes you more accepting of shit that doesn’t work or pacing issues or pretty much any error a movie that features a pedophiliac Yoda stand-in smoking weed and kissing James Franco full on the mouth might have to offer. You’re too busy with your giggles over what happened fifteen minutes ago to notice the giant hole in the plot.

I smoked weed for years and there’s two things I can tell you for sure.

No, literally. Just two things – that’s how much weed fucks up your brain.

Toy Review – Green Lantern Classics Series 2 Skallox/Nite Lik By Mattel

  Here we have another multi-headed figure, only with this one I had to buy both. Well, I didn’t have to. I don’t have to buy any of this nonsense. But that’s a thought I try not to spend too much time thinking.

Toy Review – Green Lantern Classics Series 2 Despotellis/B’Dg/Dex-Starr By Mattel

I was extremely excited to see that Mattel was producing a Dex-Starr. It meant I didn’t have to order that DC Direct Mera figure because let’s be honest – nobody wants to order a Mera figure.

Platinum Championship Wrestling - 3/31/2011

I know I said I’d have some recaps of last weekend up yesterday. It just didn’t happen. I was so bummed out to be back at work after six wonderful days off that the creative juices simply would not flow. Even writing this last night I wasn’t totally into it. I still like January’s PCW recap tons better. Also, you’re going to have to wait for Tuesday to get more because I’m off this weekend and this recap took me pretty much all night last night. I’ll have another Green Lantern review up Monday.

In other news, I’m actually going to have some Doctor Who-related content to lead up to the season premiere later this month. This came as a surprise to me – I thought I was going to be hard-pressed for material for that one.

Last weekend represented the most excessive and ridiculous wrestling-related time in my life. Not that I partied a whole lot more than I should’ve – the wet blankets I was rolling with all weekend ensured that wasn’t going to happen (“I’ve got to get home and see my girlfr… I mean, I’ve got to work in the morning!” Pussy.) – but I attended five wrestling events over the course of four days. That’s a lot of wrestling. Fortunately, most of it was awesome.

Movie Review: Sucker Punch

I was very, very excited about this movie. It features a bunch of unthinkably hot chicks in ridiculously fetishized costumes battling dragons, orcs, giant robots, Nazi robots, robot samurai with Gatling guns and just plain old robots everywhere from Germany to an alien planet. If you gave me a truck full of money and told me to make a movie, it would probably be an awful lot like Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch. And that is a problem, because I have no fucking idea how to make a movie. I don’t know how to create a compelling visual narrative, I don’t know how things should be paced, I don’t know how to coax actors to deliver good performances. Apparently Mr. Snyder and I have some things in common.

*I’m going against my normal rule and putting spoilers in this review because I need to in order to express everything I feel about this movie. If you don’t want everything ruined, stop reading now.*

Toy Review – Masters of the Universe Classics: King Hssss By Mattel

King Hssss is one of the Masters Classics that I was truly excited about receiving. As a matter of fact, March was a pretty good month in general for Mattycollector.com. The other Club Eternia figure was Battle Armor Skeletor and the site was also offering Vinz Clortho and a reissue of Evil-Lynn.

I also participated in the grueling hell that is trying to buy something from Matty at noon for the first time in months. I wanted another King Hssss to display with his snake torso. The problem with this was that Mattycollector’s website sucks. But this is always a problem; no – the issue this time around is that I had to try and order from my phone while sitting in a bathroom stall due to circumstances beyond my control. Needless to say, I didn’t get that second King Hssss. I did get Evil-Lynn and Vinz Clortho though. The reissues and the Ghostbusters tend to stick around for several days after they are initially offered (they might even still be available as I write this, though likely not as you read it).

Toy Review – WWE All-Stars 2-Pack “Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs CM Punk By Mattel

The other day my intro mostly explained why I even bought two sets of figures from this line when I don’t really collect wrestling figures anymore. Today, I’ll tell you why I’m excited about the game they tie in with.

I’ve been playing wrestling games for years. And I’ve gotten suckered into buying at least one WWE game a year for the last eleven. Some were outstanding and got played until the next iteration was released or even longer (WWF SmackDown: Shut Your Mouth for Playstation 2). Some were absolute crap (WWF: RAW for XBOX). The last one – WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2011 – is very, very good. I just don’t ever play it. I used to get so involved in games that I would book storylines. Like, I literally had a booking sheet that went months in advance so that I could plot feuds and title wins and stuff. It was a little crazy. But I enjoyed my fantasy booking and had the time to do it and play the matches.